Diagnosis: Friend [Rebirth] - Chapter 39.2

Chapter 39.2

She kind of liked the feeling of kissing.

Gu Yining thought this as she touched her own lips.

Getting up from the floor, she noticed something lying by the door in her peripheral vision. She leaned over to pick it up; it was a photograph, likely dropped by Jiang Qing in her haste.

She turned on the utility room light, and the bright white glare flooded down. Gu Yining glanced at the photo, recognizing the smiling girl as Jiang Qing. Fireworks were exploding in the night sky, and a woman stood behind Jiang Qing, smiling softly at the camera.

It was Jian Wenxin.

It was a perfectly ordinary photograph, yet Gu Yining felt an immediate sense of discomfort. She had originally intended to return it to Jiang Qing the next day, but for some reason, the photo ended up tucked away in a hidden pocket of her backpack.

Things are awkward between us right now anyway; I’ll return it later, Gu Yining told herself.

Because of that impulsive kiss, Gu Yining was restless all the next day. For the past two days, Jiang Qing had been avoiding her; today, it was her turn to avoid Jiang Qing. Even during the group exercises, she kept her eyes glued to her own feet, terrified of accidentally meeting Jiang Qing’s gaze—even though there were six classes separating Class 1 and Class 8.

She gradually fell into a strange state of panic, one that eventually surpassed the fear of Jiang Qing ignoring her.

The night she went home, Gu Yining went to bed very early.

However, when the midnight bell struck twelve times and the room seemed shrouded in a silent veil, Gu Yining woke abruptly from a vivid, hazy dream. Her heart hammered against her ribs, and her erratic breathing rose and fell in the silent air.

She opened her eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling. Her body seemed to retain the heat of the dream, a scorching sensation that caused a fine sheen of sweat to break out on her skin. An unspeakable sense of loneliness closed in from all sides like a midnight fog, spreading soundlessly and leaving her with no exit.

She raised a hand to touch her lips, recalling the sensation from that day.

Slowly coming to her senses in the dark, the image of those slightly pale lips in her memory began to twist, turning a vivid red, with jade-white teeth set between them. She rubbed her lips until they were bright red, completely unaware of what she was doing.

“Gu Yining…”

Jiang Qing’s low whimpers from the dream seemed to linger in her ears.

Gu Yining slapped her cheeks hard, a flash of guilt crossing her face, and reached out to turn on the light. Getting out of bed and putting on her shoes, she dragged her still-unsatisfied body out of the room.

She went downstairs to get a glass of ice water, gulping it down. The internal heat still wouldn’t dissipate. She couldn’t help but think of that person, feeling guilty even as she thought of her, as if she were committing a desecration.

She was committing a desecration.

But she couldn’t stop.

—This was the aftereffect of that kiss. All of this was simply because she liked the feeling of kissing; she could have found anyone, so why did it have to be her? To say it out loud would invite nothing but scorn.

With a clink, she set the glass on the table. A girl’s angry voice came from behind her: “Gu Yining, are you crazy? You scared the hell out of me.”

Gu Yining turned around. Gu Xi was hovering by the refrigerator, carefully pulling out a piece of matcha cake. She patted her chest to calm her heart after the shock. Peering at Gu Yining, who was staring blankly at her, Gu Xi looked down at her cake with a conflicted expression. “There’s only one small piece left. I’m eating it.”

Gu Yining walked straight up to Gu Xi, looked down at the cake in her hands, and then lifted her gaze. “I’m not eating it.”

Hearing this, Gu Xi breathed a sigh of relief. But the person remained standing there like a statue, blocking her path. Gu Xi said impatiently, “If you’re not eating, why are you standing—”

Her voice trailed off because she noticed something. Resisting a sense of revulsion, she asked stutteringly, “Why… why are you staring at my mouth?”

“Oh,” Gu Yining replied incoherently. “Just testing something.”

Gu Xi frowned. “Testing what?”

“Hmm?”

This person is so strange; did she have another episode? Whatever, it’s late, eating is more important.

Gu Xi moved to the side, intending to go around the wooden-like Gu Yining, when she heard her sister murmur, “No. There’s no feeling.”

“Huh?”

Gu Yining added, “No. Looking at you, there’s no feeling at all.”

“You’re talking nonsense.” Gu Xi pulled out a chair and sat down to eat her cake.

Gu Yining let out a sigh and headed back upstairs to her room. The emptiness in her body remained unfulfilled. She pulled out her phone and searched for various photos of lips in the browser. Her body tensed like a bow under the quilt, and her breath clouded the phone screen.

Still nothing.

She pursed her lips, seemingly struggling with something. After a while, she turned on the room light and got out of bed. When she returned, she was holding a Polaroid photo.

She turned off the light, leaving only the small nightlight on the nightstand. She curled up in the blankets, half-kneeling on the bed with the photo placed at the headboard. In the dim yellow light, she could still make out the school background and two girls leaning on their hands looking at the camera.

But Gu Yining only stared at one girl. Those shallow dimples, delicate and lively.

After an unknown amount of time, Gu Yining collapsed onto the bed, trembling slightly. She pressed the Polaroid to her heart, which soon triggered a new rising tide. Wave after wave crashed over her; Gu Yining lay on the bed, dying and coming back to life.

The night passed.

In the early morning, the first ray of sunlight quietly spilled onto the windowsill. The girl lay quietly on the bed, completely unclothed, like an exquisite painting. Her delicate skin glowed softly in the sunlight, her long hair scattered across the pillow like silk, with a few stray strands clinging to her cheeks, adding a touch of lethargy and charm.

A lingering air of intimacy remained in the room.

As the sunlight shifted, the person on the bed moved slightly. Gu Yining felt around with her hands and finally found the photo by the pillow. Pressing it to her heart, she gently closed her eyes.

It was time for Gu Yining’s follow-up appointment at the neurology hospital.

Since Zhou Xuening was away on a business trip and Gu Yining was familiar with the procedure, she had the driver take her. All the tests came back normal. Dr. Sun looked at the girl’s tired face and cautioned, “I know senior year is stressful, but don’t engage in revenge sleep deprivation. If your health fails, it’s not worth it.”

Gu Yining was staring blankly at a green plant on the desk. She gave a dull “mhm,” and after a moment, she lowered her head, her eyes flickering away.

On the way home, they hit a traffic jam. The navigation indicated heavy congestion with an estimated thirty-minute wait. Gu Yining sat in the back seat, looking out at a small mountain with a temple at the summit. Red walls and black tiles—she could hear the faint sound of a bell from a distance. The air in the car felt stale, and Gu Yining began to feel stifled. She couldn’t help but say, “Uncle Chen, pull over. I want to get out and walk for a bit.”

The black car slowly approached the curb. Gu Yining pushed open the door. “Uncle Chen, you go straight back to the villa. I’ll make my own way back in a while.”

The sky was gloomy.

Gu Yining walked aimlessly, occasionally glancing at the tour boats on the lake. A long line had formed at a simple pier; parents were putting on life jackets and fitting them onto their children. A safety officer at the bow waved them aboard. After walking along the lakeside path for a long time, the crowds thinned out.

This was an undeveloped area where tour boats didn’t come, and the noise-loving citizens rarely visited. Fresh air filled her lungs. Fishermen sat on rocks along the shore, having arrived early to cast their lines and sit for the entire day. Gu Yining watched the fishing for a while, but nothing was biting. Losing interest, she continued along the path.

When she grew tired, she sat on the steps, reaching down to let the cool water moisten her palms.

As soon as she stopped, it was easy to think of Jiang Qing, then the kiss, then the dream, that dim night, and the Polaroid that made her breath quicken. There was nothing special about it, really—it was just an ordinary photo. What was special was the person in it.

Her throat bobbed. She was about to properly organize her complicated thoughts from the past few days when someone suddenly sat down beside her. She looked up to see someone she didn’t particularly want to meet.

She pressed her temples and turned her head to look at the scenery on the other side, not wanting the person in her sight. But while eyes can choose what to see, ears have no such filter. She heard the person beside her laugh and say, “Still mad at me?”

The tone was intimate, as if they were close friends. Gu Yining’s skin crawled. She said quickly, “Don’t. I’m not close to you.”

Tan Baozhu looked out at the lake. “I didn’t even say anything about the blow you gave me the other day.”

Gu Yining: “You deserved it. One hit was being light on you.” Speaking of which, she looked back at Tan Baozhu and shifted her seat, creating a half-meter gap between them.

“You hate me that much because I wanted to kiss Jiang Qing? It’s not like we actually did it. If we had, would you have dragged me to jump off a building?” Tan Baozhu’s tone was gentle, possessing a weirdness that didn’t match her usual vibe.

Gu Yining didn’t notice the vibe; her entire attention was caught by the phrase “not like we actually did it.”

Oh. So they didn’t kiss.

But I did.

She sighed internally, then inexplicably thought of the previous night…

Is this never going to end! Gu Yining roared in her mind. This useless brain of hers was thinking about these “yellow” scraps all day long; have some dignity!

Tan Baozhu, unaware of her inner turmoil, assumed she was still jealous. “Actually, you don’t need to be so hostile toward me. I’m no threat to you.”

Gu Yining wasn’t really listening, merely offering habitual, perfunctory replies: “Mhm, mhm, mhm.”

“Don’t you want to know why Jiang Qing was with me during the summer break?” Tan Baozhu saw her lack of reaction and felt a surge of frustration, so she brought out her trump card. When Gu Yining continued to daze, Tan Baozhu’s face went cold, and she poked Gu Yining’s shoulder.

Gu Yining turned around impatiently. “Tan Baozhu, you’re so annoying! Stop interrupting my thoughts!”

“Gu Yining!” Tan Baozhu, irritated by her indifferent attitude, suddenly stood up and raised her voice. “Don’t you want to know why Jiang Qing was with me this summer?”

“Jiang Qing and I have no history, and we aren’t even in the same class. Why would she tutor me? Aren’t you curious?”

Gu Yining looked up at Tan Baozhu. She hadn’t forgotten that this entire fight with Jiang Qing was due to Tan Baozhu.

Gu Yining’s face darkened. “Speak.”

“Hmph.” Tan Baozhu laughed, pointing at the lake. “Jump in, swim to the other side and back, and then I’ll tell you.”

Gu Yining also laughed. “Tan Baozhu, you’re sick. Say it or don’t.” She realized the girl was just there to cause trouble, so she stood up and walked toward the path.

Just as she reached the path, Gu Yining pulled her headphones from her pocket. As she was about to put them on, she heard a desperate shout from behind:

“Jian Wenxin! It’s because of Jian Wenxin!”

Her footsteps came to a sudden halt.