Desk-mate, Do You Like Me? - Chapter 57

Chapter 57

Time flew quickly. The chill of the twelfth lunar month was dispelled by the heavy atmosphere of the New Year. Red lanterns hung on both sides of the street, and sporadic sounds of firecrackers echoed in the air. On the morning of Lunar New Year’s Eve, Xu Qing and Li Mo were nestled on the living room sofa, enjoying the last lazy morning of the winter break.

Li Mo was enthusiastically planning the menu for the New Year’s Eve dinner—mainly him picking the dishes, and Xu Qing responsible for jotting them down and considering the feasibility of execution. The sun was bright outside, and the indoor heating was sufficient. Everything seemed warm and peaceful.

Until a doorbell rang, breaking the tranquility.

Xu Qing got up to open the door. Standing outside was Liu Lan, looking a bit travel-worn. She was smiling, carrying some New Year goods in her hands.

“Mom? Why are you here?” Xu Qing was surprised.

“To pick you up to spend the New Year at your uncle’s house, of course!” Liu Lan said as if it were obvious, peeking inside. “Xiao Mo is here too? Did I interrupt you two?”

Li Mo had already walked over and greeted politely: “Hello, Aunt Liu.”

“Ah, good boy,” Liu Lan replied with a smile, then turned back to Xu Qing. “Hurry and pack up. Your uncle and aunt are waiting. We’ll have the New Year’s Eve dinner together; it’ll be lively.”

Xu Qing paused, subconsciously looking at Li Mo. They had implicitly agreed to spend the New Year together. Li Mo had even stocked up on a good amount of ingredients under the pretext of “preventing Mr. Yu Wencheng from underfeeding us.”

The smile on Li Mo’s face also faded slightly, but he quickly recovered, forcing a relaxed expression. “That’s right, Qingqing, go back with Auntie for the New Year. It’s good for a family to reunite.”

Xu Qing looked at Li Mo, trying to discern his true emotions, but Li Mo hid them well.

Liu Lan seemed oblivious to the subtle atmosphere between the two. She then said to Li Mo: “Xiao Mo, why don’t you spend it with your parents? On New Year’s Eve, families should always be together.”

The smile at the corner of Li Mo’s mouth stiffened imperceptibly. He then nodded: “Well, they… have plans.”

Just then, Li Mo’s phone screen lit up on the coffee table. It was a message from his mother, Yu Wenxiu. Li Mo walked over to pick it up. Xu Qing, being close, glimpsed a few lines on the screen:

【Mom: Mo Mo, the money has been transferred to you. Your dad and I are taking Xiaolun to Sanya. We’ll be back on the fifth day of the New Year. I know you don’t like traveling far. Take good care of yourself at your uncle’s house, and don’t cause your uncle any trouble.】

Below the message was a considerable bank transfer.

He didn’t know when it started, but his connection with his family had to be sustained by money. Every year when they traveled, they always left Li Mo at home with some money, citing the reason that he “was grown up and didn’t like traveling far.”

He had thought about traveling himself. But since Yu Wenxiu never offered, he didn’t want to shamelessly tag along.

Li Mo picked up the phone expressionlessly, quickly typed a “Got it,” then locked the screen and put the phone back in his pocket. The entire movement was smooth and natural, as if he were simply dealing with an unimportant advertisement.

But Xu Qing clearly saw the fleeting dimness in his eyes and the bitter suppression around his tightly pursed lips.

Liu Lan was still urging: “Qingqing, hurry up.”

Xu Qing’s heart tightened. He looked at his mother, who was full of expectation, and then at Li Mo, who was feigning composure but whose eyes had dimmed a few shades. He was caught between two difficult choices.

Li Mo took a deep breath. When he looked up again, his usual, slightly casual smile was back on his face. He nudged Xu Qing: “Go and pack quickly, don’t keep your uncle and aunt waiting.” He paused, lowered his voice slightly, and teased lightheartedly, “I’ll only rest for one night; I’ll come back to cling to you tomorrow.”

Xu Qing looked at him. The question, “What will you do alone?” tumbled in his throat, but he didn’t ask it. He knew that any inquiry at this moment would only make Li Mo more embarrassed.

“Mhm.” Xu Qing answered softly, turning to his room to pack a few simple clothes.

When he came out with his bag, Li Mo was chatting with Liu Lan, his tone relaxed and natural. Seeing Xu Qing emerge, Li Mo walked over, very naturally took the bag from his hand, and tidied his scarf, which wasn’t even messy.

“Be careful on the road.” Li Mo looked at him, his gaze deep, concealing a reluctance and a forcibly suppressed sense of loneliness that only Xu Qing could read.

“…You too,” Xu Qing said softly. “Remember to eat.”

“I know, stop nagging,” Li Mo smiled, reaching out to ruffle his hair, the gesture intimate and natural, as if Liu Lan were not present.

Liu Lan looked at their interaction, her eyes briefly flashing as if she wanted to say something, but in the end, she just smiled.

After seeing Xu Qing and Liu Lan to the door and watching them enter the elevator, the smile Li Mo had maintained slowly collapsed. The sound of the elevator door closing was particularly clear in the empty hallway.

He closed the door, leaned against the cold door panel, and slowly slid down to sit on the floor.

The living room, which had just been filled with their laughter, was now terrifyingly silent. The faint sounds of merriment from outside only highlighted the room’s emptiness.

He took out his phone and looked at a few photos Yu Wenxiu had posted in the family group chat—a group picture at the airport, Ye Zhong holding Ye Jinlun, Yu Wenxiu smiling tenderly, with the warm Sanya sunshine in the background.

A happy family of three.

Below the photos were several voice messages. Li Mo turned on the speaker, and Ye Jinlun’s excited childish voice immediately echoed in the empty living room: “Auntie and Uncle! Sanya is so warm! Dad bought me new swimming trunks! We’re going to build sandcastles on the beach!”

This was followed by the genuinely kind or flattering endorsements of other relatives, the atmosphere warm and harmonious.

No one cared if he was alone, no one cared how he would manage his New Year’s Eve dinner, and indeed, no one cared about his presence. The words of concern, like the money transfer, carried a formulaic perfunctoriness, like completing a necessary task rather than genuine affection.

A familiar, chilling sense of abandonment slowly crept up from his feet, permeating his limbs. He curled up his long legs, buried his face in his knees, and remained motionless for a long time. Uncle Yu Wencheng had a special job that kept him busiest during holidays. He had left early this morning. Now, the huge house was truly empty save for him.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when the sound of a key turning in the lock came from the entrance.

Li Mo abruptly lifted his head, his eyes flashing with a very slight expectation that he hadn’t even realized he had.

It was Yu Wencheng rushing back. He was carrying several takeout boxes from a restaurant. Seeing Li Mo sitting on the floor, he was surprised, then looked apologetic: “Mo Mo? Why are you sitting on the floor? I just finished a short meeting and rushed to a restaurant to grab some food. I have to be on duty at work tonight and can’t stay with you.”

He placed the takeout boxes on the dining table, walked over, and patted Li Mo’s shoulder. “Xu Qing is gone already, right? Mo Mo, just eat this tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll cook you something good when I get back.”

The faint glimmer in Li Mo’s eyes completely extinguished. He stood up, dusted off his pants, and put on the carefree smile Yu Wencheng was familiar with. “It’s fine, Uncle. You go do your work. I’m a grown-up; I won’t starve myself. It’s nice and quiet, actually.”

Yu Wencheng looked at his nephew, opened his mouth to say something, but finally only sighed. “Your mother and them… Sigh, alright. Then take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything.” He checked the time, hurriedly gave a few more instructions, and then left again.

The door closed once more.

Li Mo walked to the dining table and looked at the takeout boxes with the restaurant logos. They were elaborate but completely devoid of warmth. Like the money he received on his phone and the detached greetings in the family group chat, they were all cold substitutes.

He didn’t open them. He simply turned and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. It was full of ingredients he and Xu Qing had bought together, originally intended for the New Year’s Eve dinner they were going to make.

Now, it was just him.

On the other side, Xu Qing was somewhat preoccupied at his uncle’s lively reunion dinner table. The table full of delicacies and the relatives’ cheerful chatter seemed separated by an invisible barrier. The phone in his pocket remained quiet. Li Mo had not sent any messages complaining or lamenting.

This silence made Xu Qing hurt even more.

His mind constantly replayed the image of Li Mo’s fingers instantly stiffening when he saw the message, the look in his eyes when he forced a smile to urge Xu Qing to leave, and his barely concealed look of loneliness when the door finally closed.

What defines “family”? Is it a reunion maintained by blood and law, or is it the person who gives you warmth when you are cold and holds you tight when you are lonely?

He remembered Li Mo clinging to him like a large, spoiled dog, the butterfly-like kiss on his forehead that morning and the gentle confirmation that followed, the nights they snuggled watching movies under the warm light… The warm current formed by these fragments violently clashed with the image of Li Mo facing the desolate room alone.

A powerful impulse grew and swelled in his heart—he didn’t want Li Mo to be alone. Especially on a day that symbolized reunion.

After dinner, while the adults were watching the Spring Festival Gala and chatting in the living room, Xu Qing quietly returned to the temporary room and dialed Li Mo’s number.

It rang several times before being answered. Li Mo’s deliberately loud, relaxed voice came through: “Hello? Qingqing? Did you finish your New Year’s Eve dinner? Miss me already?”

The background was quiet, unusually quiet.

Xu Qing tightened his grip on the phone and asked directly: “Did you eat?”

“Yeah, I did,” Li Mo replied quickly, his tone casual. “Uncle brought back some restaurant dishes. They tasted pretty good.”

Xu Qing paused, then said softly: “Li Mo, don’t lie to me.”

The phone line instantly went silent. After a few seconds, Li Mo’s voice dropped, tinged with a barely noticeable fatigue and hoarseness: “…Not yet. Not very hungry.”

Xu Qing could almost visualize him now, probably curled up on the sofa, or sitting on the floor against the door like this morning, head down, like an abandoned little animal.

“Wait for me,” Xu Qing said without hesitation.

“Huh? Wait, Xu Qing, what are you doing? Don’t be silly, stay at your uncle’s house…” Li Mo’s tone became slightly urgent.

“I said, wait for me,” Xu Qing repeated, his voice unusually firm. “I’m coming back right now.”

Without waiting for Li Mo to object further, Xu Qing hung up the phone. He took a deep breath, walked out of the room, and said to his mother and uncle who were watching TV: “Mom, Uncle, I… I have something to do. I need to go back.”

Liu Lan was stunned: “Back? Where are you going back to? It’s so late.”

“Back to Uncle Yu’s place,” Xu Qing looked his mother in the eye, his tone calm but unyielding. “Li Mo is alone. I’m worried about him.”

“You child…” Liu Lan frowned. “Running off to someone else’s house on New Year’s Eve? What are you thinking? Isn’t Li Mo’s uncle there?”

“Uncle Yu went to work. He’s the only one at home,” Xu Qing explained. “His mother and the others… went traveling.”

His uncle seemed about to speak, but seeing Xu Qing’s resolute expression, he patted Liu Lan’s hand. “The child is grown up and has his own ideas. That boy, Li Mo… Alas. Let him go, just be careful on the road.”

Liu Lan looked at her son, finally sighing helplessly, giving her tacit permission.

Xu Qing immediately put on his coat and wrapped his scarf—the same scarf Li Mo had straightened for him that morning. Liu Lan put some freshly washed fruit and snacks into his hand: “Take these. Share them with Xiao Mo.”

Xu Qing felt a warmth in his heart and nodded: “Thank you, Mom.”

When Xu Qing stood outside the familiar door, took a deep breath, and opened it with his key, the sight that greeted him made his heart ache slightly.

Only a dim floor lamp was on in the living room. Li Mo was indeed sitting on the rug, hugging his knees, leaning against the sofa, his figure looking incredibly lonely in the faint light. The Spring Festival Gala was on the TV, the volume low, more like background noise. The takeout boxes on the dining table were untouched.

Hearing the door open, Li Mo sharply turned his head, his face showing disbelief. The moment he saw Xu Qing, the strongly supported fortress in the depths of his eyes instantly crumbled, revealing his true core of vulnerability and surprise.

“You… how did you really come back?” his voice was hoarse.

Xu Qing closed the door, shutting out the cold and the noise outside. He walked to Li Mo, crouched down, meeting his eyes, and placed the fruits and snacks, still cool from outside, beside them.

“Because,” Xu Qing looked at him, his voice very soft but exceptionally clear, “this is my home too. Your presence here is my reunion.”

Li Mo stared at him blankly, his eyes visibly reddening rapidly. He suddenly reached out and pulled Xu Qing into a tight embrace, burying his face deep in his neck.

Xu Qing could clearly feel the slight trembling of his body and his barely audible, suppressed gasps.

He hugged Li Mo back, gently patting his back, like comforting a wronged child.

Outside the window, the zero o’clock bell was about to toll. Splendid fireworks bloomed in the night sky, illuminating the dark windows, enveloping the two embraced figures in flickering light and shadow.

The coldness and loneliness inside the room were, at this moment, completely dispelled by the warmth and resolute choice of another person.