Dating My Drama Queen Girlfriend On A Slow-Paced Variety Show - Chapter 28

[????]

[Li Yue? It’s Li Yue again! You’ve been appearing so frequently lately!]

[It’s actually Li Yue?]

[No, wait, you’re acting way too natural. What do you mean “I like Teacher Luo too”?]

[I specifically dragged the progress bar back, is this some new age confession tactic?]

[You sound like my girlfriend: “Thanks for liking me, I like you too, hehehe.”]

[Li Yue is so calm. She said that without even blinking. My impression of her is still stuck on the Voice for You stage that sentimental singer with the beautiful voice.]

[A sentimental singer indeed, so much emotion, heehee.]

The bullet comments (danmu) were heating up. The mystery person from the preview finally had a name and a face, but the audience’s biggest question remained: Luo Mingzi, do you or do you not have a girlfriend?!

What exactly did that greeting mean?

In the program, the other guests came out to welcome the newcomer. The editors added festive background music with gongs and drums, but then Wu Xuezhen shouted, “Mingzi is crying!” and the background music suddenly turned urgent.

On screen, the taller girl (Li Yue) leaned down, cupping Luo Mingzi’s face and gently blowing into her eyes. In the shot, Luo Mingzi instinctively closed her eyes, and a single teardrop escaped, slowly rolling down her cheek.

Her eyelashes trembled as she slowly opened her eyes. Her reddened eyes looked straight at the person in front of her, looking incredibly pitiful.

Li Yue gave a small smile.

[Ahhh, wait, what does this mean?!]

[So ambiguous… what’s going on?]

[Luo Mingzi, what is up with that look in your eyes! If you used this expression while acting, would I ever criticize you again?]

[Luo Mingzi is so pitiful! So cute!]

[Why do I feel like something is off? The vibe between these two is weird.]

[Hahaha, Li Yue said Luo Mingzi got sand in her eyes, and Luo Mingzi just looks all aggrieved.]

[So they knew each other beforehand. I was wondering why Li Yue dared to cup Luo Mingzi’s face the moment they met. They’re alumni!]

[Which school did Luo Mingzi go to?]

[The school doesn’t matter, the key is that these two are too close!]

[If they’re best friends, then I think it’s fine. I call my bestie “wife” every day.]

[Li Yue: “I’ll cook.” Everyone else: “Is this surprise from heaven for real?”]

In the show, Li Yue rolled her suitcase into the kitchen. When the lid opened, it revealed a suitcase packed full of fresh vegetables. The viewers were stunned. Where did these come from?

The editors cleverly cut back to two hours earlier.

4:00 AM.

The cameraman was filming the quiet night in the countryside. The night was silent and vast, with green mountains sitting like faint shadows in the distance. Captions explained: “Due to changes in the filming schedule, a replacement guest landed in the early morning. We are heading out to pick her up.”

A cartoon map appeared on screen, showing the production car crossing mountains and rivers to reach an icon of an airport.

When the view outside the window returned, it was a hazy sunrise. Fearing they might leak the filming location, the photographer only took a few scenic shots until the car stopped in front of a guesthouse. Just as everyone was about to rest for a moment, an excited voice came from off-camera: “Is that Teacher Li?”

The camera “swished” upward. A beautiful woman, holding soy milk and deep-fried dough sticks (youtiao) in her left hand and a suitcase in her right, was strolling toward them at a leisurely pace.

[Ah, has no one told her she’s going grocery shopping, not walking a runway? There’s no need to be this dazzling!]

[Every time I walk down the street with headphones on, this is exactly how cool and elegant I imagine myself looking!]

[Those youtiao look well-fried, I want some.]

Amidst the chaotic bullet comments, Li Yue approached, her bare face filling the frame as she gave a slight smile.

The comments went silent for a moment.

[Wait, I suddenly understand Luo Mingzi…]

[Hahaha, Goddess (Yun)!]

[Goddess, are there no wet markets in heaven? Do you really have to descend to the mortal realm to buy groceries yourself?]

[Do goddesses eat too? I thought they only lived on wind and dew?]

The “Goddess” showed everyone that not only does she eat, but she also makes feasts. When the camera followed her back to the hotel and saw a clay pot simmering on an induction cooker, everyone was confused.

“Wait a moment, let me pack it up,” Li Yue said softly, taking out a large thermal container from her suitcase.

Everyone: “?”

Huh?

The photographer pulled out his phone to show the time to the audience.

6:15 AM.

Your Goddess is stewing chicken soup in a budget hotel.

[So health conscious…]

[Is this Li Yue’s morning routine? She looks like one of those refined young ladies from a wealthy family who drinks bird’s nest or silver ear soup in the morning, I just didn’t expect the young lady to stew the chicken soup herself, hahaha.]

[Li Yue: Drink the freshest chicken soup, sing the most beautiful songs!]

The clear broth and tender chicken were packed into the thermal container, with bright red goji berries floating on top. Li Yue waited for the photographer to finish his shots before screwing the lid on.

[Suddenly, the rice in my bowl has no flavor.]

[I’m so hungry I’m gonna take two huge bites of braised pork!]

[What the heck! They actually get to drink chicken soup? Doesn’t that mean my schadenfreude (at their struggle) is gone?]

Not only did they have chicken soup, but after Li Yue put her luggage in the car, she guided the crew to the market where she bought breakfast. Meanwhile, she slipped away into a small supermarket that had just opened next door.

A short while later, she came out carrying bulging shopping bags, while the owner followed behind with a beaming smile, helping her load things into the car.

Li Yue raised a hand to block the lens, so the photographer turned the camera away. However, Li Yue didn’t realize her microphone was still on, and her gentle voice reached everyone’s ears.

“This is my first time filming a variety show, so I hope everyone can be patient with me. Everyone works very hard during filming, if I do anything wrong, please correct me immediately. I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone.”

Director: “Not at all, not at all! This is our job! You’re too polite, Teacher Li!”

[Wow, Li Yue is so thoughtful!]

[Li Yue: “Don’t film this part.” Photographer: “Got it!” Editor: “Release it, release it! Hahaha!”]

[Staff: “Teacher Li bought us candy! So sweet!”]

In the program, Li Yue sat in the staff car as it drove toward the outskirts. Inside the car, the camera focused on Li Yue’s face. She smiled at the lens and, following the director’s instructions, began her self-introduction.

“My name is Li Yue. I am a singer songwriter, and I am twenty-three years old.”

[That’s it?]

[Stop smiling! If you keep smiling like that, the fans are going to lose their souls!]

[Only twenty-three? She’s the same age as Luo Mingzi.]

[Alumni from the same year.]

[So this is the type Luo Mingzi likes?]

[Heh, she’s certainly getting a feast today!]

[Wow, when the director mentioned Luo Mingzi just now, didn’t Li Yue smile a bit too tenderly?]

[Exactly. We call this kind of ‘lovingly gazing’ relationship “friends.” Nods.]

The timeline shifted back to after the meeting with the new guest. Li Yue walked into the kitchen and put on a pink apron. Previously, Luo Mingzi’s “girlfriend” line in the trailer had drawn in countless people waiting to see her make a fool of herself. Luo Mingzi’s fans had been anxious, fearing some strange person would show up in the new episode and get entangled with her.

But seeing that it was a friend Luo Mingzi had known for a long time, the fans felt mostly relieved.

[Heehee, of all the aprons, why did she pick the pink one? Could it be she knows Luo Mingzi likes pink?]

[She definitely knows. Look at Li Yue’s attitude toward Luo Mingzi compared to the other guests, she’s very natural and tender with Mingzi, but more formal with the others.]

[Wow, Luo Mingzi, as expected of you! What are you doing pacing around outside the door? Get in there if you’ve got the guts!]

[Genuine question: do best friends really care this much about their image when they meet up?]

[The way Luo Mingzi secretly ran to the backyard to pick a flower for her hair looks exactly like me getting ready before seeing my boyfriend, doing a little extra grooming. Tsk tsk, I feel like the mystery between these two is only deepening!]

[Huh? They’re just good friends, right? I feel like the trailer was just a gimmick. Boring. I’m out.]

The bullet comments started filling up with messages saying “Boring” and “Goodbye.”

Li Yue took off her gloves and picked up her phone to check the live viewer count: 670,000.

She refreshed the page: 720,000.

Well, she thought, it seems only a “negative fifty thousand” people actually left.

Ding.

A message from Luo Mingzi popped up. She was also watching the new episode. She sent a sticker of a blushing puppy and whispered via text: “Was I being too obvious?”

Obvious?

Li Yue looked up at the TV.

On the screen, Luo Mingzi, wearing slippers, charged toward the storage room with a face full of excitement. A moment later, she rushed out clutching a quilt, nearly tripping with an “Ouch!” before continuing her enthusiastic dash toward the guest room with the bedding.

A bullet comment floated by: Every day when I come home from work, my dog-daughter brings me slippers exactly like this.

Li Yue: “Pfft.”

[This won’t do! The seniority is all messed up! Our Goddess Luo passionately invited Li Yue to spend a passionate night together, only to be tragically rejected!]

[What passion? What night? I was just getting hungry watching them eat and ordering takeout, how did we get to this stage?! Can some kind soul summarize?]

[In one sentence: The great beauty Luo threw herself at her but was cruelly rejected, yet she still insisted on making the bed just for a chance to sleep together!]

Li Yue sat on the rug, resting her face in her hands and laughing. Watching the screen where Luo Mingzi was sticking her butt out while working hard to make the bed, she felt that the comment wasn’t wrong at all.

“Am I that heartless?” She blinked, looking at the comments “denouncing” her for being “cold-blooded.”

Ding.

Li Yue’s phone rang again. She thought it was another message from Luo Mingzi, but it turned out to be Director Liu, who sent a string of “thumbs up” emojis. The fifth episode had been highly anticipated even before it aired. However, the peak of the trailer’s buzz was at the very beginning, the production team had prepared for the fifth episode to “peak at the start” and then dwindle, much like the rest of the show. To their surprise, real-time data showed that the TV ratings and app viewership were steadily climbing without any sign of a slump.

Li Yue sent back a “puppy sticking its tongue out” emoji, leaving Director Liu shocked.

The Director Liu on screen was also in shock, simply because the “100,000 yuan” Li Yue brought had been exposed, leading a troop of staff members on a raid toward the guest room.

[100,000! What a generous move by Li Yue!]

[Li Yue is truly a die-hard fan of the show. She must know that Luo Mingzi is responsible for 60% of why the prices on this show stay so high, a woman who used her own strength to single-handedly hike up the price of instant noodles!]

[Looking down on Goddess Luo? I’ll give you a number: 80%!]

[Li Yue: So what if a bag of noodles is 100 yuan? Who says I can’t afford it! Slaps down 100,000!]

[Wait? Are you guys all focusing on the money? Am I the only one focusing on the silent understanding in the eyes of Li Yue and Luo Mingzi?]

[The editors really get it, hahaha. Luo Mingzi: “What’s that?” Li Yue: “Money.” Luo Mingzi: “How much?” Li Yue: “100,000.” Luo Mingzi: “Really?!”]

[Luo Mingzi’s wide-eyed expression is killing me. The editors even added a huge exclamation mark! To think our Goddess Luo would have a day where she worries about money.]

[She’s not worrying about money, she’s worrying about a bite of noodles.]

[The girlfriend is here, the good life begins! Even the noodles are made with chicken soup, and there are two big chicken legs!]

[Tsk tsk, such spoiling!]

[Director: Spoiling my foot! Today, I’m going to break up this little couple and their secret affair!]

“You must hand it over!” Director Liu’s tone was indisputable as he began a tug of war with the guests. The bullet comments were howling with laughter, saying it looked like a reenactment of them haggling at a market.

[Friends, it’s me again. You guys are still focused on the haggling, but I’m focused on this quilt. Is it just me, or are they secretly holding hands under the quilt? Look at those ripples!]

[I told you they’re just good friends! What’s wrong with good friends holding hands? Don’t you hold hands with your besties?]

[Eh? The moment the quilt was lifted, I think I saw their fingers separating. Were they really secretly holding hands under there?]

[I went back and played it in slow motion. Holy crap! Fingers interlaced! Definitely interlaced! You guys hold hands with your friends and interlace fingers when you meet up?]

The bullet comments were boiling over. Halfway through the broadcast, “detectives” who had already speed-watched the episode were contributing various findings. Tonight’s trending searches were dominated by Late Countryside, which even surprised Li Yue.

She thought she had been very restrained, and the content of two days and one night had been condensed into a four hour program with many parts edited out.

The viewers, however, were sweating over every limited minute, posting various screenshots to prove that Luo Mingzi’s “girlfriend” wasn’t a lie, there was definitely something going on between them!

Li Yue arched an eyebrow and took a sip of beer. The cold beer had turned lukewarm. She frowned slightly and picked up her vibrating phone.

Luo Mingzi: [Puppy tilting head.gif]

Luo Mingzi: What should I do? I have a big problem.

Li Yue: [Curious puppy.jpg]

Luo Mingzi: Heehee, it’s just, I still want to sleep with you!