Crossing the Clouds and Sky to Fall in Love with You - Chapter 11

That night, Merman’s fan page officially announced that guitarist Lu Han Jun was formally leaving the band; they expressed their sincere regret, putting it very eloquently and nicely, and Han Jun also thanked Merman on his own page.

Han Jun himself voluntarily left the group chat on his phone… Jack didn’t kick me out; instead, he privately messaged me a line: ‘As long as you’re still a Merman fan, we welcome you to stay in the group.’ Such tolerance made me feel even more ashamed… ashamed of Han Jun’s actions.

The band Han Jun joined was none other than the one originally considered Merman’s rival, Ivy’s band—”Bannerlla.” He became their main guitarist, and Merman didn’t truly leave Plato; they found a new guitarist to fill the void and quickly shook off the gloom of Han Jun’s departure, re-establishing themselves.

With him, Ivy’s band grew in popularity and was able to compete with Merman. The biggest beneficiary must have been Plato… Despite this, I couldn’t frequent the venue like before to listen to the music, nor could I publicly support either side anymore.

“Bannerlla” had my beloved boyfriend, but I had never liked Ivy’s singing style and had hardly listened to their performances; as for Merman… after Han Jun left, I even felt awkward running into them.

I felt stuck in the middle, alienated from both sides.

In that case, it was better not to go.

Han Jun intensified his practice for his new songs and worked hard to integrate into his new group; he started skipping school frequently, seemingly intent on dedicating himself fully to his career.

I was still a student, after all, and the distance between us seemed to be widening… To be honest, his strong career ambition felt terrifying to me; I didn’t even know if I was still in his future plans. We hadn’t had a proper conversation in days.

Just a week after Han Jun left Merman, I received a notification from Sister Saya that they would be having a flash mob performance in the plaza in front of the school auditorium.

Saya: ‘Number one fan, Yu Xiao Xiao! Are you coming over?’

I initially hesitated about whether to go, but later I not only went but also invited Tao Yi An to join me.

A week later, Sister Saya’s singing voice was still as explosive as ever, captivating the fans even in the spacious outdoor setting; Lu Se replaced Han Jun’s original spot, and the “New Merman’s” cover of GLAMOROUS SKY was still incredibly beautiful.

After the performance, they didn’t leave immediately but stayed to interact with the fans, welcoming signatures, photos, and whatever else was asked of them. Their approachable nature hadn’t changed… I was suddenly very moved. In this tumultuous week of changes… I could at least find a shred of familiar feeling from the past.

By the time I was able to talk to them, it was already late. Before Tao Yi An left, I introduced him to Merman, and Sister Saya also introduced the new band member to me; he was a sophomore from the Mechanical Engineering department.

“Hey! That guy looked at you with such reluctance before he left. He’s totally smitten with you.” I smiled, embarrassed, and Sister Saya continued, “Xiao Xiao, I want to talk to you privately for a bit, is that okay?”

She raised an eyebrow and naturally hooked her arm through mine. I turned back and saw everyone else, except the sophomore, giving me a gentle smile; in that moment, I nearly burst into tears; they… they still treated me as one of their own! I even felt that Han Jun’s departure had ironically made them even more united.

“Of course!” I pressed my lips and smiled. Sister Saya patted my head reassuringly, and we walked toward a deserted patch of lawn.

She first gave me a sisterly hug. “I’m glad to see you still come to our shows.”

“Sister…”

“You haven’t been to Plato lately, have you?”

“I… I don’t have the face to see you guys.”

Sister Saya shook her head. “Don’t say that… You are you, and A Jun is A Jun. His actions won’t affect our perception of you. You are still our fan, our friend… I’m truly happy you came today.”

“Because you all are still so good to me…” I couldn’t help my eyes welling up, and tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Silly Xiao Xiao! You’ll always be one of us, as long as you want to be! Cheer up!” She raised her voice, but her eyes were also a little watery. She gripped my hand tightly. She seemed to notice something and froze for a moment. “You’re still wearing this necklace…”

Due to the recent cold spell, I was wearing a collared shirt. When Sister Saya reached to hook my necklace, the metallic red guitar was pulled out from under my collar, and I felt a sudden coolness on my neck.

It was what Han Jun gave me; ever since he put it around my neck, I had never taken it off. “Mhm.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing you’re not going to Plato.” She pursed her lips and exhaled a puff of white mist as she turned. “Is he… home often lately? I forgot, are you two living together?”

“He invited me, but I refused.”

“Why?” She looked very surprised.

“The thought of it being a new apartment he rented with that ‘signing bonus’ money just feels… strange to me.” Besides, I got along really well with Sister Tao, and she was a rare, good neighbor… even if she wasn’t home much.

“You’re not used to it, huh? I heard he moved recently… You don’t mind, do you?” Sister Saya took out a pack of cigarettes. I smiled and shook my head.

As the cigarette was lit, the faint orange flame flickered with the scent of smoke against the deep blue sky. “Is that so… You’re not living with him, so you must not spend much time together, right? Have you been to see their practice or performance… Ah! I’m so stupid, you already said you stopped going to Plato!”

“How are they… performing?”

“Hmph! If you’re asking about Ivy, she’s still ‘slaughtering a pig’ every day!” Pfft! Sister Saya was still merciless with her words. She always described vocal music as the sound of a pig being slaughtered. “Yet, quite a few people fall for their style! Go figure!”

“What about Han Jun? I heard he has a new song…”

She smiled with the cigarette dangling from her lips. “If you ask any more questions, I’m going to start wondering if you’re still his girlfriend!”

Even though I knew Sister Saya didn’t mean it, I still felt a stinging pain. “His new song is quite popular; I guess that’s what he wanted! To fly solo and gain more attention… To be honest, maybe it’s for the best. Merman couldn’t give him more. A good bird… how does that saying go again? What good bird…”

“A good bird chooses its tree to perch on.”

She slapped her forehead. “That’s it! See, I’m so focused on music that I forget these rhetorical phrases!”

“You don’t really sing rap either, Sister!”

She gave me an admiring look, the cigarette still in her mouth. “Nice one! You’re talking back to me!” She flicked the ash off her cigarette and hooked my arm as we walked toward the path. “Alright, enough joking, let’s talk serious business.”

So she didn’t just want to chat with me casually?

“I was just trying to understand your relationship with him to confirm if you know what he’s been up to lately.” Sister Saya took a deep drag from her cigarette, and the orange fire burned intensely. “Xiao Xiao… What I’m about to tell you is just a guess, but everyone’s been talking… I think I still have to tell you.”

I had a vague idea of what Sister Saya was going to say, but somehow, I felt a strange sense of detachment. “What is it you need to tell me, Sister?”

“The owner of Plato seems to be trying to pair him up with Ivy.”

Guessing was one thing, but hearing the news for real still brought a pang of pain to my heart. I frowned, feeling a tightness in my chest.

“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly.

I shook my head. “Then… what did Han Jun say?” I couldn’t help but recall the dating criteria he talked about on the show… Ivy was petite, but she had a hot figure, and her singing was undeniably good. She was also a dazzling beauty.

“He denied it completely; after all, even the owner knows he has you.”

“Then that’s that, isn’t it?” I gave Sister Saya a smile in return.

A false, self-assured smile that even I didn’t believe.

“Xiao Xiao…”

“I love him, and he loves me. I believe he’s just a little busy lately, and our love will withstand the test.”

We continued walking until the sky was completely dark, and the streetlights around us were distant.

“I just hope he knows how to cherish you.”

In the end, I thought I heard Sister Saya say that.

He came to see me today, the second time this week.

I didn’t dare let him know I went to see Merman perform today, and even less did I dare tell him what Sister Saya had told me about him and Ivy; he came today, but he seemed to be in a bad mood. I told him to shower first. He finished showering but stayed naked, only wrapped in a towel, not even bothering to dry his hair.

“You’ll catch a cold like that.” The weather was very cold, and my room had no heating, so I was bundled up like a snowman. I took the hair dryer and started drying his hair for him, running my fingers through his wet hair repeatedly with the warm air.

“Do you think… I’ve found a shortcut for myself?” He finally spoke his first words since entering my room.

“What do you mean?”

“Teaming up with the Plato owner’s niece.” He turned around, staring at me with a look that was almost a glare. “Do you think it counts?”

I cracked a small smile. “Teaming up is teaming up… if you didn’t have the talent, how would they have noticed you?”

“So you also think I have talent?”

I stopped what I was doing and turned off the hair dryer. Honestly, I felt that no matter what I answered now, it would be wrong.

“Speak!”

“Do you want me to say no? The fact is that you’ve formed a band, but…” Before I could finish my sentence, he had pushed me down onto the bed! “W-what are you doing!”

“So you mean I shouldn’t have done this? That I’m wrong? That I’m not relying on my own talent but just clinging to connections to get famous!”

His eyes were terrifying.

I took a deep breath, looking up at him as he loomed over me, and decided to muster the courage to speak my true thoughts.

“You haven’t been a singer for just a day or two… Didn’t you consider that there would be gossip like this before you made the decision? Since you’ve already decided, let them talk. You sing your songs, and just prove them wrong with your performance, why care so much!”

One of his hands slid to my neck. I was so nervous that I stopped breathing, thinking for a moment he might lose control and choke me; but he didn’t. He took a moment to calm down, then collapsed onto my chest, weeping.

I felt a sense of relief and continued to try and soothe his emotions; he spoke in broken sentences, complaining, and I began to understand why he had been practicing so frantically lately.

“Just be yourself.” I said to him, gently cupping his face. “Just be yourself… Don’t worry about anything else. You’re just an ordinary person. You can’t control what others say, you can only let them talk.”

“Xiao Ning…” He finally showed a hint of his familiar smile. “Thank you, I understand…”

I also smiled. “You have to be strong! Okay? Hurry up and get dressed, you’ll catch a cold…”

Instead, he lowered his head and kissed me. His tongue quickly found its way in; as he started to take off my clothes with his usual rhythm, I suddenly realized I hadn’t mentioned something very important—“Han Jun, I feel strange… My thing…”

“What thing?” He was focused on the foreplay. I gasped, and in the moment he kissed me, I forgot the warning I should have given.

After that night, we still rarely saw each other; whenever I saw Merman announce a flash mob performance somewhere on campus, I always felt a pang of regret. Before, whenever I showed up, I would have seen him…

But there was something happening to me that I could no longer ignore.

My “good friend” was nearly two weeks late and still hadn’t arrived… I was incredibly, incredibly anxious about it! But I couldn’t tell anyone around me…

So, I gathered every ounce of courage I had and ran to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test kit.

On a cold mid-December morning, I was sweating profusely in my own bathroom out of sheer fright.

The worst-case scenario had happened… What should I do?

Without a moment to lose, regardless of where he was or what he was doing, I had to call Han Jun and tell him about this huge, unexpected news!

“Do you have time right now?” His side was noisy; he probably answered the phone without leaving the rehearsal room.

‘Do I sound like I have time?’ he retorted, his tone very unfriendly.

“Listen, you have to come over early today. I have very, very important news to tell you!”

‘Can’t you tell me over the phone?’

I closed my eyes. “No! It has to be in person.”

He was silent for a while, and finally, he said grudgingly, ‘Fine, I’ll be there at eleven tonight.’

“Wait, wait a minute! Can’t you come earlier…” He hung up! I stared at my phone in disbelief, a profound sense of helplessness and fear washing over me.

I have to wait until eleven at night! It was only eleven in the morning now… twelve hours?

I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. I tried to eat, but the thought of being pregnant made me feel nauseous with everything I ate. I couldn’t eat! Let alone read, listen to music, play on the computer, or any other pastime…

I couldn’t stand it! If this continued, I would definitely go crazy! At one in the afternoon, I quickly put on my clothes, rushed downstairs, hailed a taxi, and prepared to head straight to Plato.

I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to know what he planned to do… what he planned to do with me and the baby in my belly.

I didn’t want to wait another second.