Criticizing Love - Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The butterfly caught the light from the lamps in the courtyard, its scales shimmering.

The violent force of the impact shattered the wings it had just unfurled, its fragile, reborn body breaking into pieces all over the ground.

She Ning didn’t object to Gu Nianyin having her own interests and hobbies. To be more accurate, she believed her child must have hobbies, such as piano, equestrianism, Go…

She was dignified and elegant, dressed immaculately. Having pulled herself away from Zhucheng to come to Nancheng for her beloved child’s coming-of-age ceremony, what she wanted was to mold her into her best possible self.

As for shutting oneself away in a dark little room, facing the filthy and ugly corpses of these Lepidopteran insects.

This was not something her child should be doing.

Regarding all of this, Gu Nianyin was well aware.

That was why she made her butterfly specimens in the cloakroom where there were no surveillance cameras, and that was why her expression didn’t lose its composure in the slightest when she saw She Ning toss the butterfly in front of her.

The high-sounding respect from elders was laughable. As long as that surveillance camera remained for a day, Gu Nianyin had no privacy to speak of.

It was only a matter of time before the butterfly specimens were discovered by She Ning. She had always been dancing on the edge of a knife. And when blood truly seeped from her sliced soles, Gu Nianyin looked down at the shattered remains of the butterfly tossed before her, the depths of her eyes as calm as a pool of stagnant water.

It was an emotion of waiting to be destroyed.

Just like Sisyphus, who pushed the giant boulder upward day after day, cycling over and over.

A sharp, clear pain interwoven in a spiral with a secret, obscure pleasure at Gu Nianyin’s core. In the center of her world, which was covered in shallow water, grew a hideous, pitch-black tree.

From the day Gu Nianyin was born, She Ning possessed a morbid desire for control over her life.

To her, Gu Nianyin was never an independent living organism, but rather her daughter. She demanded strict obedience from Gu Nianyin, holding exceptionally high standards for what she could and couldn’t do, what she had to pursue, and what she had to give up.

During the winter vacation of her fourth year in elementary school, Gu Nianyin had once attempted to escape this place.

That was a plan she had started making since the summer—meticulous and precise, a display of intelligence far exceeding her peers.

It had snowed heavily that morning. Gu Nianyin used the opportunity of attending a tutoring class to leave that massive western-style estate mansion.

It was also on that day that Gu Nianyin witnessed how various places in Zhucheng, which had always kept their gates wide open for her, slammed their iron gates down upon her one after another.

The little girl carried ample supplies, bypassing the surveillance of the bodyguards, intentionally avoiding places where security cameras could track her.

Yet even so, that private cargo ship chose to risk having tens of millions worth of goods inspected and seized by the police just to turn back and return her respectfully to the shore.

When the snow melted, it was truly cold. The slush, mixed with a foul fishy odor, soaked through the secondhand sneakers Gu Nianyin had intentionally switched to as a low-quality substitute.

She sat at the pier where the cold wind howled, with nowhere left to go, her thin body looking as though a single wave could slap her straight into the freezing, bone-chilling sea.

It was only after passing that night that Gu Nianyin, who lived in a glass house, learned what power truly meant.

As the subordinate party, she was ruthlessly crushed by power, her fragile body completely defenseless.

“Get up.”

The sea waves slapped over, She Ning’s voice even colder than the sea spray.

The massive silhouette of the adult woman blocked out the sun that was about to sink, darkly shrouding the small girl like a seamless, airtight net, pinning her down tightly beneath it.

Gu Nianyin hadn’t wanted to leave.

Stubbornness was written within the little girl’s far-from-calm gaze. Her dusty face was covered in a fishy smell, a world apart from the elegantly dressed, overwhelmingly noble lady before her. There was no sign that she could fight back against anything, yet she still stood her ground in a silent confrontation with She Ning.

Should one call her fearless in the face of danger, or should one call her unrepentant.

She Ning just looked down from above, her expression changing from the exact second her gaze locked with Gu Nianyin’s.

She was ruthless too, offering no emotional comfort whatsoever to this runaway child, laying it out directly to her: “You are very smart, but it’s not enough.”

“Gu Nianyin, do not feel that fate is unfair. What fate has given you is already good enough. The reason you were able to make such a meticulous plan today is because of the resources this family has provided you since childhood.”

“Everything in this world is an equivalent exchange. My blood flows inside your veins, and you have enjoyed everything the Gu family brought you since you were little. Before you fulfill your mission, do not even dream of leaving this place.”

She Ning’s words were like a verdict, instantly snapping all of Gu Nianyin’s unexecuted plans.

At an age where general mental maturity had yet to develop, she was already capable of understanding the meaning behind She Ning’s words.

—It could be anyone. What they wanted was merely a sufficiently good successor.

—Since it was already her, she couldn’t escape it.

Sometimes Gu Nianyin would wonder why intelligence wasn’t included among the seven deadly sins.

Perhaps being too smart was already a punishment in itself.

The deeper people understood the world they resided in, the more terrifying they would find it.

This world couldn’t be entirely solved using the known. The clearer the people trapped inside it were, the more painful it became.

Gu Nianyin didn’t know when she had stood up, nor did she remember how she had followed She Ning into the car.

Only at the very end of this rebellious farce, she remembered that she seemed to have felt a sliver of maternal tenderness belonging to She Ning.

The car cabin, maintaining a comfortable temperature, enveloped the little girl’s body with warmth the moment she stepped inside, and then She Ning’s hand rested over the back of her hand.

The woman looked straight ahead, offering her a cold piece of tenderness: “I will act as though today’s capriciousness never happened, and I won’t tell your father either. Go back and think it over carefully yourself, alright, Niannian?”

Gu Nianyin nodded her head.

It wasn’t perfunctory. She had truly thought it through clearly.

She was going to leave.

She remembered someone telling her that a butterfly had to stay inside its cocoon for a very long time before it could emerge.

Only by enduring the loneliness of the long, endless night could there be a day to spread one’s wings and break through the cocoon.

“I’ve already had the maid at home throw all your things away.”

She Ning’s tone was cold to the absolute extreme, instantly dragging Gu Nianyin’s train of thought out from her memories.

She looked down at the silent Gu Nianyin, issuing a warning to her: “You must remember, I gave you this pair of hands not for you to touch this garbage.”

“Extra practice tonight. I will accompany you in the piano room.”

Like a judgment, She Ning’s punishment came without the slightest hesitation or softness.

Meanwhile, Gu Nianyin’s tone remained flat, responding: “I understand.”

The moon was just rising, a vast dead silence.

The conversation between mother and daughter ended there. She Ning turned around and left, and Gu Nianyin followed behind her.

The young girl’s exquisite heels landed on the bluestone pavement, her skirt hem floating, brushing past her butterfly specimen that had been cast outside the door.

The fragile lepidopteran wings were violently snapped, broken limbs and ruined remains.

Yet as the night wind swept low across the ground, those wings that had originally been pinned down flew up into the air.

The next day, the sky was heavy and overcast, a fierce gale sweeping across the entirety of Nancheng as the temperature plummeted.

The bell signaling the end of morning self-study pierced through the cloud layers, and the silent teaching building instantly came alive. The people in the class stood up one after another to stretch their bodies that were practically about to be nailed down, and Gu Nianyin also rose, taking her water flask to leave her seat.

A long arm extended into her field of vision as Zhong Sheng unscrupulously stretched backward.

Only, this time she had another purpose, turning around immediately afterward to look at Lin Xi: “A-Xi, do you get a certain feeling?”

“What?” Zhong Sheng’s words kept her in suspense, so Lin Xi continued looking at the manga she hadn’t finished reading during morning study, responding perfunctorily.

Zhong Sheng pursed her lips, then slumped over the stack of books piled on Lin Xi’s desk, continuing: “I feel like the Great Deity’s atmospheric pressure is a bit low today.”

“Isn’t she always like that?” Lin Xi said casually, still without raising her head.

“Of course it’s different!” Zhong Sheng loudly objected. “The moment I walked through the door this morning, I felt like your back row here was so cold.”

Hearing this, Lin Xi finally raised her head.

She casually glanced at Zhong Sheng’s thin clothing, pointing: “The temperature dropped massively today, and you’re wearing so little. If the heavens don’t make you cold, who will they make cold?”

Zhong Sheng was left speechless by Lin Xi: “I say, you’re so devoid of romantic sensibility, how are you going to pursue a gre… a girl!”

Ever since that day this person developed such an idea, the face of the person Lin Xi wanted to pursue had inexplicably been replaced with Gu Nianyin’s face in her mind.

She had almost let it slip just now, changing her words incredibly fast.

Lin Xi didn’t catch it either, only rebutting her previous sentence: “Who ruled that pursuing someone must be done like that? I have my own methods, alright.”

Saying this, she raised her hand to twist Zhong Sheng’s head back, speaking impatiently: “Alright, stop blindly worrying, Gu Nianyin is fine.”

“How could she be fi—”

“Wake up, everyone. There will be a spot check on ‘The Hardships of the Shu Road’ once class starts. Anyone who can’t recite it will copy it ten times.”

Just as Zhong Sheng was about to argue back, Wang Tingxiu walked in through the front door of the classroom.

The first period on Monday morning was Wang Tingxiu’s Chinese literature class. She liked to come early. During the ten-minute break, she wished she could arrive five minutes ahead of time.

Hearing her words, the class quickly fell into the sound of reviewing the text, and Zhong Sheng also rapidly turned back around.

Gu Nianyin returned a bit late from getting water, entering through the back door without any rush: “Report.”

“Come in.” Wang Tingxiu was very lenient with her, responding with a smile.

Only, for some reason, the moment she saw Gu Nianyin, she inexplicably felt that the weather today was a bit cold, proactively walking over to close the classroom door: “The temperature has dropped significantly lately. Everyone pay attention to keeping warm, don’t catch a cold or get sick.”

Amidst Wang Tingxiu’s reminders, Gu Nianyin sat back down in her seat.

Lin Xi was still propping her head up to look at the manga. When Gu Nianyin’s shadow fell across her hand, she proactively let out a “Hey”: “Unhappy?”

“No,” Gu Nianyin denied.

“If you’re unhappy just say so, what are you keeping it bottled up in your heart for?” Lin Xi begged to differ, her tone carrying a bit of a complaint. “You doing this makes the people around you feel uncomfortable along with you.”

Hearing this, Gu Nianyin’s movement of turning the page paused for a moment.

Her gaze was straight and direct, looking right at Lin Xi without any concealment: “You too?”

“…I,” for some reason, being questioned like this by Gu Nianyin caused Lin Xi’s heart to skip a couple of beats, and she immediately denied it: “My self-regulation skills are excellent, alright.”

“Oh.”

This wasn’t the answer Gu Nianyin wanted, and she subsequently withdrew her gaze.

A sudden silence fell, and the buzzing sound of reciting the text interwoven and traveled from the back row of the classroom once more.

Watching Gu Nianyin open her textbook, Lin Xi didn’t ignore her like she used to in the past. Instead, she raised her hand to poke her: “Hey, since you’re in such a bad mood, do you want to go out with me?”

Gu Nianyin’s just-lowered pupils lifted back up, giving a more precise summary to Lin Xi’s words: “Skip class?”

Hearing this term, Lin Xi laughed: “I didn’t expect our great top student to know this word too?”

She knew Gu Nianyin was in a bad mood, so she didn’t continue teasing her blindly. Instead, she began laying out her plan: “You, once class starts in a bit, just pretend that you’re feeling unwell, and then I’ll proactively stand up and say I’ll take you home.”

“Tingxiu likes you, she definitely won’t suspect us, understand?” Lin Xi asked, and Gu Nianyin followed suit by nodding her head, “I understand.”

Receiving her teammate’s nod, this plan of Lin Xi’s could be considered a preliminary success.

Her mood instantly turned excellent. She thought about spreading her book out to memorize the text Wang Tingxiu was about to spot-check in a bit, yet she abruptly heard the sound of a water flask crashing onto the ground.

Clang—!!

The flask filled with water smashed heavily onto the floor, the abrupt and loud sound causing the classroom to fall silent all at once.

Almost everyone stopped their recitation, turning their heads to look toward the back row. Even Wang Tingxiu halted her patrolling steps, looking straight at Lin Xi.

The fallen flask rolled aimlessly across the tiled floor, and Lin Xi, as the object of suspicion, was also completely blank.

However, before she could even discern what was happening, within Lin Xi’s peripheral vision and under the watchful eyes of the entire class, Gu Nianyin—who had still looked perfectly normal when she entered the door just now—slanted her body and collapsed. Swaying and frail, she fell directly onto Lin Xi’s shoulder.