Can’t Trash-Talk You to Death, So I’ll Kiss You to Death - Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Half-sisters appearing on a variety show together?

Could there be a better hook for a trending topic? Not to mention the drama involving a legal wife and a social-climbing mistress. Once the topic started trending, there was no telling how many netizens would be drawn in.

Yun Duoduo pretended to be oblivious to the production crew’s schemes. She clapped along with the group, silently listening to the “Cloud Heiress” introduce herself.

The Heiress was three years younger than Duoduo. Today, she was dressed like a delicate princess and spoke with a youthful, innocent lilt: “I’m so sorry for being late! I’m truly excited to meet everyone! I like you all so much!”

As she spoke, she shook hands with everyone, letting out occasional gasps of admiration.

Duoduo stood at the far right. After the Heiress finished shaking hands with Lu Jiayi, who stood next to Duoduo, she turned directly back to the far left to take her spot, completely ignoring Duoduo.

The Heiress concluded her intro: “There are many things I might not understand yet, so I hope everyone can be patient with me.”

The moment she finished, the director’s camera zoomed in on Duoduo. Duoduo simply curled her lips slightly, her expression remaining neutral. Her mood had already hit rock bottom, and she certainly couldn’t force a smile. Her “Beautiful Lady” sister had told her to be her best self and not to fake it.

You stepped on me to make your debut and now you expect me to smile and cheer for you? Sorry, that’s a job for a saint, and Yun Duoduo is no saint.

…

There were six participants in total: three women and three men. Aside from Duoduo and the Heiress, the third woman was the current “Screen Goddess,” Lu Jiayi. The three men were the veteran award-winning actor Ji Zhen, the center-position winner from a survival show, Shi Qingzi, and the trending idol, Mu Yang.

Lu Jiayi and Mu Yang were a popular “shipped” couple (CP) and would be acting as a pair, eventually sharing a house together.

The group stood in a line. Because of the tension between Duoduo and the Heiress, the atmosphere was awkward; no one knew which sister they should talk to.

The tension only broke when the production crew handed over the mission cards. Ji Zhen, the eldest of the group, took the lead.

He read the card, clicking his tongue. “Look how devious this crew is. Before I came, the invitation said every guest would have a house. Now look at this!”

The other artists gathered around and laughed. “We have to complete a mission to get a house? Are you sure you aren’t just trying to mess with us?”

As with any variety show opening, they all knew the routine, but they still shifted into “roast the production crew” mode. Duoduo listened to the Heiress’s constant exclamations of surprise. Her mouth twitched; unable to blend in, she simply listened to the director’s requirements.

The crew gave each person a basket of eggs and five bags of milk powder. “This is your mission: use the money from selling these to ‘earn’ your house. No family can sell more than five eggs or two bags of milk powder to a single household. Our goal is to let you experience the hardships your parents faced raising you.”

Duoduo thought the concept was actually quite good and nodded vigorously.

…

The show was filmed in a picturesque small town inhabited by simple villagers. The celebrities had to sell these items to them. This was actually quite difficult for two reasons:

1. 1. Every household already had chickens; no one wanted to spend money on extra eggs.

1. 1. These were rural villagers; few would be willing to splurge on expensive milk powder.

Except for Duoduo, no one else seemed to realize this. After a brief discussion, they jumped straight into “PK mode” (competition).

Ji Zhen said, “Eggs are easy to sell. One yuan each—someone will definitely buy them. As for milk powder, just look for a house with a kid; it’s a necessity!”

Lu Jiayi and Mu Yang shared a portion. “Exactly,” Lu Jiayi added. “It should be easy to finish. Let’s see who’s the fastest.”

Mu Yang looked at her tenderly, lifting the heavy basket. “I’ll handle it. We’re going to live in the biggest house.” Everyone laughed and teased them.

Duoduo, still squatting on the ground, voiced a different opinion. “I don’t think it’ll be that easy. The villagers have their own eggs. Even if one yuan isn’t much, it’s still a waste to buy something you don’t need.”

Moreover, there were five baskets—500 eggs in total. In such a small village, how could they possibly sell them all?

Her words made everyone freeze. The Heiress immediately chimed in, “Don’t dampen everyone’s spirits. It’s just an egg. Who can’t afford an egg these days?”

The others looked at Duoduo with a hint of disdain. Duoduo simply stopped talking; there was no point in arguing.

It was natural they didn’t understand her. These were top-tier stars who dealt in millions. A single yuan was so insignificant to them that they’d likely throw it away if it became an inconvenience to carry.

The director captured a close-up of Duoduo’s and the Heiress’s expressions, already planning how to edit this for a viral clip.

…

The group set off toward the town. Ji Zhen, walking at the back, noticed Duoduo heading in the opposite direction toward the temporary camp.

He kindly called out, “Aren’t you going with everyone else?”

Duoduo shook her head. Since he was being friendly, she smiled back. “I have a better idea. Brother Ji, want to join me?”

Ji Zhen wasn’t interested in her “ideas” and felt it was more reliable to just start selling. “No thanks, you better hurry up and sell your stuff. I’m heading out.”

“Okay!” Duoduo waved him off. She took her eggs to the temporary camp, scrounged up some pots and pans, traded for a shoulder pole, and carried her gear to the village threshing floor.

Soon, the village was filled with the sounds of celebrities hawking their wares and cheers of successful sales. Only Duoduo was alone, running back and forth with pieces of wood, surrounded only by a group of curious children.

The director filming her eventually got bored and started filming the scenery. Half an hour later, seeing her still tinkering, he couldn’t help but ask, “Are you still not done? Word from the other side is that your sister has already sold over half of hers.”

He mentioned the Heiress on purpose, hoping Duoduo would say something provocative for the “behind-the-scenes” highlights.

Instead, Duoduo stayed focused on her work, hammering away. A few minutes later, she had constructed a small makeshift stove. She wiped the dust off her clothes, washed her hands thoroughly in the river, and declared, “All right, let’s begin!”

Like a magician, she pulled out a sign and set it next to the stove. It read: “Duoduo’s Tea Eggs.”

“Can you really sell eggs like this?” the director asked.

Duoduo rolled up her sleeves. “Definitely. My mom used to push a cart and sell things just like this when I was little. Watch me.”

…

She sounded confident, but few believed her. Then, whether by coincidence or design, the Heiress wandered nearby. Carrying a large basket, she looked like Snow White picking mushrooms, warmly recommending her eggs to an old grandmother.

The grandmother shook her head. “I have plenty of eggs at home. I won’t buy one even for a yuan!”

The Heiress pouted. “Grandma, I can give you my autograph on it. You could sell it for hundreds later!”

“Don’t need it, can’t sell it,” the old woman waved her off.

The Heiress was growing impatient. Seeing Duoduo looking like a soot-covered Cinderella without a single sale made her feel much better.

Duoduo, ignoring the silent judgment, set up her water pot, added tea leaves, cracked the tops of the eggs, and began to simmer them. Once they were done, she deftly peeled one. The white, tender egg carried the rich aroma of tea. She blew on it and took a gentle bite. “Mmm… so delicious!”

Food always looks better in someone else’s mouth. The children watching nearby licked their lips, captivated by the scent.

One brave child approached. “Sister, are you opening a restaurant? Are you making food to eat?”

“That’s right! Do you want some?” Duoduo tossed the shell into the bin and scooped out a few tea eggs. “I can give you one!”

The child’s eyes lit up. “For free?”

“Yep,” Duoduo smiled, handing over an egg. “I’ll give it to you for free, but on one condition. You have to help me find some customers. If you succeed, I’ll give you a cup of milk too. If you bring in a lot of people, I’ll even pay you a ‘wage.’ But you can’t cheat, and you can’t cry to get customers. Deal?”

The little girl nodded vigorously. “I promise I’ll do it!”

Duoduo scooped out ten eggs, drew smiley faces on each one, and handed them to the kids playing nearby. She watched them sprint off, then laughed as she started a fire to begin frying eggs.

Word spread through the town like wildfire: There’s a pretty sister selling tea eggs that taste like heaven.

The town’s children grew restless. Their parents figured that boiling an egg at home wasted too much firewood; buying one for a yuan or two—with a free cup of milk included—was a great deal. They generously handed over the change.

Soon, Duoduo’s stall was bustling. Some brought friends; others brought their parents.

One tea egg: 1.5 yuan.

Two tea eggs: 3 yuan (includes a free cup of milk).

For those with a bit more cash: A custom fried egg!

In less than half an hour, her stock was gone. But Duoduo wasn’t done making money.

When Ji Zhen walked by, she gave him a cunning, “little capitalist” smile. “Brother Ji, do you want to bring your eggs over so we can sell them together? I’ll only charge you a tiny commission.”