Can't Hide My Love for You - Chapter 68

“I went to see a psychologist a while ago.”

Chi Yi froze, assuming it was because of the stressful ordeal with the livestream sales.

“I should have gone with you.” Chi Yi’s guilt deepened. At such a critical time, she had chosen to go on a business trip; she felt like a failure as a girlfriend.

“I went before that. Probably…” Cheng Yixin kicked a pebble near her toe. “…around the time I was on that business trip.”

Cheng Yixin felt it was time to be honest about the therapy. As a celebrity, she essentially lived without privacy; if she didn’t say it now, Chi Yi would eventually see the leaks online.

Chi Yi’s fingers tightened instinctively as she bit her lip. “Was I… putting too much pressure on you?”

“No. It’s because I want to be with you that I wanted to resolve the issues I was facing.”

“President Chi—!” A voice called from a distance, followed by a young man jogging toward them.

“It’s Zou Wen, a member of the team.”

“Dinner’s ready! Come back and eat,” Zou Wen panted. His eyes landed on Cheng Yixin. “This must be Ms. Cheng? I’ve heard so much about you. When Wei Qi said you were here, I didn’t believe him.”

Yixin smiled. “Nice to meet you, Zou Wen.”

After the pleasantries, Zou Wen tactfully left, reminding them: “Come back soon! Grandma cooked enough for the three of us. Don’t let the food get cold.”

Yixin watched him leave. “Let’s go then.” She took two steps forward, but Chi Yi caught her hand.

“About what we were just talking about…”

“I’ll tell you. Don’t worry.” Yixin interlocked her fingers with Chi Yi’s left hand, squeezing tight.

But Chi Yi didn’t look comforted. Her expression was solemn; she was terrified that Yixin was carrying burdens she couldn’t help lighten. Yixin tugged at her, but Chi Yi remained stationary. Yixin stared at her for a moment, then leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“I’m here now, and I’m not running away. Let’s find a better atmosphere and talk slowly.”

The warmth in Yixin’s eyes finally eased Chi Yi’s mind. They walked toward the village, Chi Yi’s injured right arm hanging at her side, her left hand clutching the roses Yixin had brought.

“Why did you suddenly bring a bouquet of flowers all this way?”

“No reason. I just wanted to give them to you.” Yixin swung their joined hands gently. “Does a girl need a special reason to give her girlfriend roses?”

Chi Yi smiled, squeezing her hand back. “No, she doesn’t.”

Because the village was underdeveloped, having the entire team stay at the village chief’s house would have been a burden. Instead, the team members were dispersed among different households to live and eat with the locals. Chi Yi and Zou Wen were assigned to stay with Grandma Guilan.

Grandma Guilan was a widow whose daughter had married off long ago; her son and daughter-in-law only returned for the New Year. She was lonely and had been very enthusiastic toward Chi Yi and Zou Wen. However, her advanced age meant she was forgetful.

Chi Yi led Yixin to the old tiled house. In the broad daylight, the interior was pitch black. The mountain conditions were meager; most of the dishes on the table were vegetables grown by the grandmother herself. The lighting was poor, and the grandmother used so much soy sauce that the food looked unappetizingly dark.

“Little Cheng, eat more.”

Yixin looked at a piece of dark, greasy meat in her bowl. She knew the grandmother meant well, but she struggled with the sight of it. Still, not wanting to be rude, she steeled herself and ate it.

“Tell your man to eat more, too,” the grandmother said abruptly.

Yixin snapped out of her greasy trance and looked at Chi Yi, then at Zou Wen, her eyes filled with defensive confusion.

“Don’t misunderstand!” Zou Wen said immediately, sensing the tension. “Grandma always thinks we’re a couple. We’ve told her many times, but she doesn’t listen.”

Chi Yi looked helpless. Correcting an elderly person dozens of times only for them to forget a minute later was a losing battle; the grandmother simply defaulted to the idea that a young man and woman together must be a couple.

“Grandma!” Yixin shouted, making sure she could hear. “Are you talking about Chi Yi?”

“Yes, yes,” the grandmother nodded. “Little Chi and Little Zou.”

“You’ve got it wrong, Grandma,” Yixin said with a straight face. “Chi Yi’s partner isn’t Little Zou.”

“Oh?” The grandmother looked confused. “Then who is it?”

“Their surname is Cheng,” Yixin teased. “They’ve been married for years.” She gestured to the height of the table. “The kid is already this tall.”

“Oh, I see,” Grandma nodded. “And you are?”

“I’m her older sister.”

“Really? No wonder you look so much alike.”

“Right?” Yixin raised an eyebrow proudly. “It’s a ‘wife-and-wife’ resemblance (Qi Qi Xiang).”

“A what?”

“Nothing.”

Zou Wen struggled to stifle his laughter, relieved to finally be untangled from the “couple” label in the grandmother’s mind.

After dinner, Chi Yi led Yixin to her room. It was a small, dusty room with a single wooden plank bed, one pillow, and one quilt.

“You’ve been sleeping here?” Yixin sat on the edge of the bed, which creaked under her weight.

Chi Yi nodded. She felt guilty for letting Yixin stay in such a place after she’d traveled so far, but she had no other choice.

“My grandmother’s old house was a bit like this, just larger,” Yixin said. “Can you actually sleep here?”

“I’m fine. As long as I can lie down, it’s okay.”

“Why didn’t you just pitch a tent at the school since you have the space?”

Chi Yi looked like she’d just been struck by a realization. “I only just thought of that,” Yixin laughed.

“Truly… well, we’re already here and buying supplies isn’t easy. I’ll do that next time.”

As they spoke, Grandma Guilan brought another quilt. “Two people won’t fit under one. I brought another, though it’s a bit thin.”

“Thanks, Grandma!” Yixin took the quilt with a sweet smile. “If it’s cold, we’ll just hug each other while we sleep.”

“You two have such a good relationship,” the grandmother smiled. “I’m going to water the vegetables; feel free to look around.”

“Watering vegetables? I’ll help!” Yixin said energetically, following her out. Chi Yi could only follow along, but her injured arm meant she could only stand and watch.

“President Chi.” Another team member came over, looking solemn. Yixin noticed and waved her off. “Go handle your work; I’ll head back with Grandma in a bit.”

The mountain air grew cold as evening fell. When Chi Yi returned, Yixin was in the yard roasting a fire.

“You’re back!” Yixin’s face lit up. She patted the small stool beside her. “I roasted some potatoes for you.”

“Where’s Grandma?”

“She went out. Not sure where,” Yixin said, using tongs to pull two blackened potatoes from the ash under the firewood. They were too hot to touch, so she rinsed them under water to cool them down.

Chi Yi took a potato but realized she couldn’t peel it with her injured hand. Yixin let out a laugh, remembering how Chi Yi had struggled with her porridge earlier. “I’ll peel it for you.”

They sat by the fire. “What did you do this afternoon?” Chi Yi asked.

“Watered the garden, picked some vegetables… just waited for you to come back.”

“Mhm.” Chi Yi still looked worried. “Si Wen told me about your parents’ shop being vandalized. The police caught the three minors responsible. They fell into the river while drunk and drowned—karma, I suppose.”

“Public opinion is in your favor now. The investigation into the scammers is ongoing; results should be out soon.” She watched Yixin’s expression, her voice careful. “Also, Sister Jing said you came here without permission. You have a lot of work waiting for you.”

Yixin put down the tongs and stared at the glowing coals. “I finished the book you gave me.”

Chi Yi waited in silence.

“I thought a lot during this time. I thought about quitting the industry, taking my savings, and living a quiet life where I wouldn’t have to care about what people think or hide my relationship. But seeing the people who supported me, I felt that was too selfish—denying myself because of keyboard warriors and ignoring the love of my fans.”

“So, I’m going back to work. But before that—” She turned to Chi Yi, her face orange in the firelight. “I wanted to see you. I have so much to say, and I want to apologize.”

Yixin exhaled softly. “I went to the psychologist because I couldn’t stop spiraling. I kept imagining ‘what-ifs.’ What if I weren’t a star? We wouldn’t have met. And the wealth gap between us… my parents are regular people running a small shop. You come from a world I’d never have touched if I hadn’t become an actress.”

“I know you give me so much love. You’ve been so careful with me, afraid of making me unhappy. It’s not just that I lack security; you do, too.”

“To be honest, we started because I wanted revenge on Lu Qing. I wanted to use you to spite her. I planned to break up once that was done, but I became addicted to your kindness. My motives were impure. I was selfish.”

“And about keeping our relationship secret… even if the situation wasn’t right, the truth is I was afraid of the contract penalties. I let you suffer in the shadows without complaint.”

“I couldn’t understand why someone as good as you would like someone like me—until you said I saved you. And that made me terrified. Because I didn’t remember it. I was afraid you had the wrong person and that you’d leave me when the ‘real’ savior appeared. All of that made me a mess. That’s why I went to the doctor.”

Chi Yi’s pupils shrank in shock. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know you were carrying all that…”

“I’m the one who should apologize. When I said those things to you before, you must have been hurt. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want my messy thoughts to hurt you more. I thought I was protecting you, but I wasn’t.”

“While you were away, I read that book. Suddenly, it all felt clear.”

“Instead of letting my thoughts drive us apart, I’d rather tell you the ugly truth of my heart and let you decide whether to stay or go.”

Yixin took a deep breath. “Can you forgive me?”

“I never blamed you,” Chi Yi said.

“Then… one more thing,” Yixin said. “Let’s break up.”

Before Chi Yi could react, Yixin continued: “The last time started for the wrong reasons. This time, it’s not because of anyone else. It’s just because I like you, and I want to be with you.”

“We talked about our ‘ideal types’ once. Like you said—when you like someone, all the rules are broken.”

“Chi Yi, I like you.”

“Please, go out with me.”