Can't Hide My Love for You - Chapter 57

“Sister Xin, you have a package. I put it in the lounge for you.” Seeing the message from her colleague, Xiao Yu informed Cheng Yixin, who was currently getting her makeup done.

They were right in the middle of her eye makeup. Cheng Yixin hummed in response, instinctively wanting to open her eyes to check what it was.

“Sister Xin, I’m almost done, keep your eyes closed,” the makeup artist reminded her.

As the artist worked on her right eye, Cheng Yixin opened her left eye to peek at her phone, her impatience evident. Recently, she hadn’t bought anything special, except for a cute little deer charm she’d seen while scrolling a few days ago. It looked almost identical to the deer keychain she had given Chi Yi, just half the size. Thinking it was charming, she bought it for Chi Yi and was eager to see the physical item so she could give it to her tonight.

After a short break, the photoshoot continued. On camera, Cheng Yixin’s smile was flawless. Accompanied by the photographer’s constant “rainbow farts” (extravagant praise), her smile grew even sweeter.

“Yes, yes, exactly that feeling! Wonderful! You’re getting into the zone now!”

Once the shoot wrapped, the group got into the car.

“Sister Xin, heading straight home? What’s for dinner?”

“Let’s stop by the office first. I need to pick up a package.”

Xiao Yu was surprised; she thought it must be something valuable if Yixin was making a special trip. But when the mini box was opened, she saw a charm barely larger than a coin.

“Cute, right?” Cheng Yixin shook the new deer charm.

“Quite cute,” Xiao Yu said. “For President Chi?”

Cheng Yixin nodded. Xiao Yu thought to herself that these tiny trinkets didn’t match Yixin’s usual style at all.

Returning to the Junshan neighborhood around 7:00 PM, Cheng Yixin saw the lights on in the white house opposite and knew Chi Yi was home. Without calling ahead, she pressed the doorbell and quickly pressed herself against the wall to hide from the peephole.

Half a minute passed.

“Chi Yi—!” She sprang from the side and jumped onto her. Chi Yi instinctively caught her, stumbling back half a step.

“Did you miss me?” she asked with a beaming smile, wrapping her arms around Chi Yi’s neck. Seeing that Chi Yi’s expression was a bit odd, Chi Yi still replied, “I did.”

Just as Yixin was wondering about the reaction, a voice came from behind Chi Yi. “Uh… well.”

She tilted her head and saw Feng Siqi standing a distance away. Even from there, it was clear they were tangled together. Specifically, Yixin was hanging off Chi Yi like a koala.

“…” Realizing the situation, Cheng Yixin instantly jumped down and acted nonchalant. “Long time no see, Siqi~”

“Long time no see.” Feng Siqi looked at her, then at her cousin. “You two…”

That scene had certainly left a deep impression on her young soul. She had never seen her cousin be so intimate with anyone. Let alone a bear hug—even a normal hug usually earned a look of distain from Chi Yi.

Cheng Yixin looked at Chi Yi, leaving the “life-or-death” question to her. She thought that, given where their relationship was, Chi Yi would openly tell her cousin the truth.

But Chi Yi simply said, “What? Is there something strange?”

She took Cheng Yixin’s hand and led her inside. This calm attitude skillfully neutralized Feng Siqi’s meaningful gaze. However, Cheng Yixin felt a slight sting of disappointment—Chi Yi still hadn’t officially confessed their relationship to her family.

Feeling the need for some privacy, Chi Yi sent her cousin on her way. After that moment at the door, she had almost thought the “closet door” had been kicked wide open. She’d considered just explaining it then and there, but she feared a negative reaction from Siqi might embarrass Yixin. She decided to find a private moment to tell her cousin and then introduce Yixin formally.

“Did you just get back? I thought you finished at six.”

“I did, but I went back to the office.” Cheng Yixin pulled out the deer charm. Observing Chi Yi’s expression, she continued, “I saw this online and thought it was cute, so I bought it.”

“It looks like a mother-daughter set with the other deer.” Chi Yi looked genuinely happy. She took out her keys to compare the two, her eyes full of joy. “Beautiful. Will they chip if they hang together?”

“I don’t think so? They’re resin,” Yixin said uncertainly.

“Better to keep them slightly apart.” Chi Yi hooked the mini deer onto the ring holding her Safety Amulet.

The amulet was very old now, but Chi Yi couldn’t bear to part with it. Now, she hung it alongside Yixin’s gift.

“Is that from your parents?” Yixin asked.

“No,” Chi Yi replied, looking at her seriously. “A very special person gave it to me.”

“…” Cheng Yixin was 100% certain she didn’t want to hear that. She wished she hadn’t asked.

“Do you want to know who?” Chi Yi asked.

The word “yes” was on the tip of her tongue, but she held it back. She was afraid that if a specific name came out of Chi Yi’s mouth, she would be devastated.

“Not right now,” Yixin said. “Tell me later.”

Chi Yi seemed like she really wanted to explain, but after a moment’s hesitation, she just said, “Okay.”

Cheng Yixin’s mood plummeted. She didn’t want to know about some “special person” in Chi Yi’s heart, and Chi Yi’s reaction only made her more irritable.

“I’m tired today. I’m going back to wash up and sleep.” Yixin stood up, trying to keep her voice level. “You should rest too.”

She left a confused Chi Yi behind. Chi Yi touched her nose—had she said something wrong? She looked down at the amulet. She wanted to tell Yixin that she was the one who gave it to her, but Yixin clearly had no memory of it. If only one person remembers, is there a point in forcing the revelation?

Late that night, Cheng Yixin had a dream—a fragment of a past conversation.

“There’s a girl who left a deep impression on me. She doesn’t remember me, but I’ve always remembered her face. Her smile was so warm.” “So you like her?” “I’m not sure.” “Someone you can’t forget must be a special presence, at least.”

Thinking back on that casual conversation now… Cheng Yixin clutched her chest. It was physically uncomfortable. Who was that person? A “special presence” who held as much weight as she did?

She had almost forgotten that Chi Yi had a “White Moonlight” (an unattainable first love). The most hateful creature in the world—the White Moonlight.

Cheng Yixin realized she was creating her own misery. She stayed awake until dawn. When Xiao Yu saw her the next morning, she was shocked by the dark circles.

“Sister Xin, did you stay up all night?”

“I slept, just not well.” Yixin didn’t want to elaborate. She put on an eye mask. “I’m going to catch up on some sleep.”

But she couldn’t sleep. Her mind was too active. She took off the mask and messaged Si Wen (Chi Yi’s assistant).

[Cheng Yixin]: Have you seen Chi Yi’s safety amulet? [Si Wen]: I have. It’s on her car keys. Why? [Cheng Yixin]: Do you know where it came from? [Si Wen]: Not exactly. I asked once out of curiosity. She said an ‘older sister’ gave it to her many years ago. That’s all I know.

A woman in love is a regular Sherlock Holmes. Yixin immediately found an old Weibo post from Huang Xinxi.

@HuangXinxi: Just found out we met ten years ago! So happy. It must be a very special fate [tongue out]

Ten years. Chi Yi and Huang Xinxi had a history from ten years ago. Given how quickly they became close, could the person who gave her the amulet be… Huang Xinxi?

Cheng Yixin’s pupils contracted. Her mind began spiraling into heartbreaking scenarios. If it was Huang Xinxi, she stood no chance. Their beginning was messy anyway—she had approached Chi Yi with an ulterior motive. Was the “trial period” over?

She hated how unstable she felt.

[Si Wen]: Is the ‘older sister’ President Chi mentioned you? [Cheng Yixin]: Impossible.

The result of this spiral was a day of constant mistakes at work. A one-hour task took two. Li Wenjing finally stepped in. “I’m moving your evening schedule to tomorrow morning. You aren’t in the right state. Go home and rest.”

“Thanks, Sister Wenjing.”

Even with the break, Yixin didn’t look happy. Li Wenjing grabbed her, worried. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird lately.”

“How so?”

“Your emotions are up and down. What happened?”

“I have things on my mind. I feel… uncomfortable,” Yixin said, frowning.

“If you have problems, solve them. Letting them pile up only makes things worse. Is it the relationship? Did President Chi do something?”

“She didn’t do anything. It’s my own thoughts. I feel like I’m in a dead end.”

“If you can’t figure it out alone, tell Chi Yi. Two people thinking is better than you alone.”

Taking the advice, Cheng Yixin went to Chi Yi’s house to wait for her. It was cold out, so hot pot was the perfect choice. She used the special spicy base her parents had brought. When Chi Yi opened the door, the aroma of the soup wiped away her work fatigue.

“It smells wonderful! Is that the base your parents brought?”

“Yes,” Yixin smiled. “The pot is boiling. Let’s eat.”

They sat at the table, sharing stories about their day. Yixin dipped a piece of tripe into the spicy oil, her eyes fixed on the bubbling surface.

“About last night… that topic. I want to know.”

“What topic?” Chi Yi asked.

Yixin looked up. “The story of the amulet. I want to know who gave it to you. Who was that person?”

Was it… Huang Xinxi?

Chi Yi put down her chopsticks, her expression turning solemn. “When I was eight…” she began slowly. “My grandparents took me to the countryside. I was playing by the river and accidentally fell in. Someone saved me. She wanted me to be safe, so she gave me her own amulet.”

Cheng Yixin’s heart hammered against her ribs. It was too late to back down now. She met Chi Yi’s gaze.

“That person was you. Ten-year-old Cheng Yixin.”

Cheng Yixin froze. Of all the possibilities she had imagined, this was not one of them. “But… I have no memory of that.”

“It’s normal. we were very young. Childhood memories fade as we grow. I recognize you, and I remember. That’s enough.”

Yixin tried desperately to recall saving an eight-year-old girl over a decade ago. But she found nothing. To her despair, even though the amulet matched the ones from her grandfather’s temple, she had zero memory of the event.

She felt a wave of sadness. A memory so precious to Chi Yi was completely forgotten by her. Or… was it possible Chi Yi had the wrong person? Was the real savior someone else?

Again, she was spiraling into negativity. She should trust Chi Yi, but her brain kept producing contrary thoughts. This wasn’t a healthy way to love.

Realizing this, Cheng Yixin made a decision. She didn’t dare say it to Chi Yi’s face, fearing she would lose her nerve. Late that night, she sent a voice message.

“Chi Yi, my mental state is a bit of a mess lately. I need to find the reason. So… can we have some space to calm down for a while?”

Chi Yi immediately sent a voice call request. Yixin hesitated with her finger over the decline button before answering.

“I’m coming over now,” Chi Yi said immediately.

“Don’t!” Yixin said. “Stay there. Let’s talk on the phone. My emotions are stable enough to communicate normally.”

Chi Yi was silent for a few seconds, conceding. “What do you mean by ‘calm down’? Do you want to break up? Is it because…”

“No!” Yixin interrupted. “It’s not a breakup.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. My mental state is unstable, and I don’t know how to express these emotions to you. I want to be in a healthy frame of mind so I can accept your feelings honestly and give you positive feedback. Otherwise, it’s not fair to you.”

“I need to overcome this before I can face you.”

Chi Yi’s voice softened. “Can’t we overcome it together?”

“Trust me. I will definitely come back.”

After hanging up, Cheng Yixin booked an appointment with a psychologist.