Ayanokouji’s Guide to Using Tools at Butei High - Chapter 5

For certain reasons, I have actually known Edogawa for a longer time than he has known the present me. I know many things about him: his small habits, his motto, his dietary preferences, and many other trivial details.

Edogawa Ranpo is the pillar of the Armed Detective Agency, the core of this organization, possessing transcendent insight and analytical skills that allow him to see through all truths. He should be around 26 years old now. His birthday is one day apart from mine; he is October 21st, and I am October 20th. He loves sweets, is stubborn and arrogant, willful and unreasonable, and hates being lectured by others—yet he deeply respects the Agency’s president, Fukuzawa Yukichi, relying on and depending on him like a father figure.

To him, the present me is merely an insignificant existence, no different from the people he interacts with in his daily life. Much like the background of a character portrait, I am just a piece of scenery—an interchangeable background that exists only to flesh out the main subject.

Edogawa Ranpo didn’t care what my silence meant. He strode forward and said: “Ranpo-sama is going back. Ayanokouji, you are boring to death.”

His final sentence was both a criticism and a blunt truth.

My personality is inherently this uninteresting and flavorless.

“I need to go to the shopping district.”

Once I have decided on something, I rarely change it.

“Even if you buy it for me, I won’t eat it.” Edogawa Ranpo decided to draw a clear line with me, sticking to his rule of not eating things from strangers.

I said: “Since you’ve already said you don’t want it, then naturally I am only buying it for Tanizaki.”

“………….”

I wanted to see how long he could hold out.

He is a person addicted to sugar. For someone who frequently consumes sugar, the Candida in their body that thrives on saccharides will overgrow. It will, in turn, send signals to the brain, worsening the body’s craving for sugar. Especially—when someone else is eating happily right in front of him, he will suffer a dual pincer attack from both physiology and psychology.

Lest I fail to discourage him, I intentionally emphasized while buying the cake: “I heard from Tanizaki that you like sweets very much, so I hope you stick to your principles and don’t casually touch his cake.”

The cashier, looking at Edogawa’s burning gaze, asked me uncertainly: “…Only buying one piece?”

“Buying one.”

As soon as my words fell, Edogawa Ranpo’s face instantly flushed bright red. Before I had even finished paying, he pushed open the door; for four or five seconds after the door closed again, the copper bell above continued to ring ‘clatter-clatter.’

He’s angry.

I thought to myself.

The cake shop cashier said with some concern: “Is it alright? Your friend seems angry.”

“It’s fine,” I confirmed.

Edogawa will be very angry; he’ll be angry enough to call Tanizaki Junichiro to come pick him up. He won’t run too far, and this interval is exactly the right time for me to go buy a few things.

Thus, I continued: “Excuse me, how do I get to the pharmacy?”

“Go down one street, turn at the corner, and you’ll see it.”

“Thank you.”

I intended to buy some sleeping pills. However, sleeping pills are prescription drugs; to buy them, one needs a doctor’s certificate. The purchasing procedure is quite troublesome. Therefore, under normal circumstances, I would go directly to the black market. I was just afraid that if I brought them with me, Edogawa Ranpo would find out.

After all, I, Tanizaki, and Edogawa are staying in the same inn.

Let me explain first why Edogawa Ranpo and the others are with me.

Technically, I have now started my part-time job with the Detective Agency. Since the Agency is currently hunting a national serial killer, after the meeting at the cafe this morning, we discussed departing for Fuyuki City together and staying in the same place.

This nationwide serial killer case was initially unclear as to who was responsible because the perpetrator attacked victims indiscriminately, never committed a murder in the same place more than twice, and handled the bodies very meticulously. Consequently, most of the disappearances were merely categorized as missing persons. But why did people suddenly start noticing the perpetrator’s existence?

It was because, starting from a certain point in time, similar cases of victims being brutally dismembered began to appear regularly in certain cities, allowing the clues to slowly begin to converge.

The culprit is clearly moving his base regularly to avoid suspicion or discovery. According to Edogawa Ranpo’s reasoning, the killer is currently in Fuyuki City and is related to a large number of child disappearance cases.

Why commit so many crimes only in Fuyuki City? Without any restraint?

This likely has a strong, inseparable connection with criminal psychology.

In Fuyuki City, the culprit’s criminal psychology has undergone a shift.

The American writer Emerson once said, “All things are puzzles, and the key to a puzzle is another puzzle.” Besides wanting to find out who the killer is, Edogawa Ranpo also wants to know why the killer had this psychological shift.

Edogawa Ranpo possesses an unbridled, arrogant curiosity.

I hope this curiosity doesn’t kill him. After all, even if a cat has nine lives, it can’t withstand curiosity, and Edogawa only has one life.

When I left the cake shop, as expected, I didn’t see Edogawa Ranpo. Following the cashier’s directions, I took a forged doctor’s certificate to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of sleeping pills.

“Do you suffer from insomnia?” The person retrieving the medicine was a young pharmacist.

“Yes, I haven’t been able to sleep lately.”

Hearing this, the pharmacist offered a suggestion: “Irregular sleep hours can also easily cause insomnia; try not to stay up late.”

“Thank you.” I saw the pharmacist scan the barcode on the product; the price popped up on the display screen, so I took out my wallet and forged identification.

I used to work in the Port Mafia; I am more familiar with the workings of the black market than the normal procedures. I still know exactly where to buy large quantities of firearms, let alone forged identification.

The inn we booked is in Fuyuki Shinto, only a ten-minute bus ride from my internship location. Since the Detective Agency also took on the mission to protect me, Tanizaki came along not just as a helper for Edogawa Ranpo, but more so as my bodyguard. After all, Edogawa Ranpo has long been capable of going on business trips to handle cases alone; he doesn’t actually need a bodyguard/assistant.

In other words, starting from tomorrow—or rather, from the moment I returned to the inn today—Tanizaki Junichiro is my bodyguard and will spend the vast majority of his time with me.

As soon as I returned to the inn, I saw Tanizaki trying his best to coax Edogawa Ranpo, who was sitting on the bed with a newspaper covering his face in anger. Tanizaki is a young man with a weak temper; his personality leans toward being a people-pleaser, always concerned about others’ moods.

Seeing me return, Tanizaki asked: “Ayanokouji, what happened between you and Ranpo-san? Why did you two suddenly split up? Did you have a fight?”

I put on an innocent expression and said: “I didn’t do anything.”

I casually placed the cake on the coffee table and continued: “I bought a cake for you.”

Hearing the word “cake,” Edogawa gave an angry kick.

Tanizaki instantly realized this matter was likely related to the cake, so he pulled me into the hallway to ask for details. I told Tanizaki exactly how Edogawa refused to eat the cake I bought.

“This really doesn’t have much to do with you,” Tanizaki said, scratching his head as if unsure of how to phrase it. “But, our Agency’s detective has a rather childlike personality. He occasionally likes to say the opposite of what he means, and he prefers to hear nice words. Just give in to him a little bit in that regard.”

“Why?”

“Ayanokouji-kun, you’re nineteen this year, right?”

“Yes…”

“But our detective’s mental age doesn’t exceed five years old.”

I felt that Tanizaki was speaking from the heart.

“I understand.”

I nodded, took the cake box, and walked toward Edogawa Ranpo, who was lying on the inn bed. I said sincerely: “Edogawa.”

“Hmph,” Edogawa let out a reluctant grunt from his throat.

“Actually, after you left, I bought an extra piece of cake.”

As soon as I said this, I noticed the light called “relief” shining in Tanizaki’s eyes after our chat. He continued to look at me with encouraging eyes. I paused, and spoke to Edogawa, who was slowly poking his head out: “Look over here.”

Edogawa Ranpo took the newspaper off his face and sat up.

“What?”

“Look, there are two pieces of cake here.”

I proceeded to open the cake box, and the smile at the corners of Edogawa Ranpo’s mouth began to rise. But my words were not over—

“This piece is for Tanizaki, and this piece is mine. There is none for you. If you eat our cake, I will tell the President.”

Edogawa: “…”

Tanizaki: “…”

The two were silent for only a second.

“Tanizaki!!!” Edogawa Ranpo screamed.

“Ayanokouji, don’t tattle,” Tanizaki hurriedly reached his hand toward me, saying, “What happened to what we just agreed on?”

“Wasn’t that hinting to me that Edogawa is currently like a child who is super afraid of his parents?”

“…I didn’t say that.”

“But, isn’t this very effective?”

Tanizaki didn’t want to admit my words at all, only showing me a face that looked ready to cry. Meanwhile, Edogawa Ranpo was rolling around on the bed.

I feel that sooner or later, Edogawa Ranpo is going to be moved to tears of anger by me.