Although They're Mentally ill, They're Extremely Easy to Comfort - Chapter 26

Since Xuan Da University was Ling Xi’s home turf, and the crazy woman had run into her territory, Ling Xi decided to give her a deep critique: “Don’t blame me for not being nice to you. Just look at the inhumane things you’ve done!

You strong-kissed me in front of my employees, cursed me to die at a coffee shop, sent a surströmming can, making everyone in the building suffer with me, then ran to the school to exploit me, broke into my house to harass me yesterday, and came to the school to graffiti me today.

Tell me, when are you going to pound me into the dirt? My life hasn’t had a single day of peace since I met you. Is this endless chaos ever going to stop? Right now, I just want to know how I can make you spare me. Tell me, what do you want me to do?”

Ling Xi tearfully recounted her miserable experiences, getting more impassioned as she spoke, finally ending with a deadly triple question.

But Qiao Bo’er’s face showed no remorse; instead, it held a sly, wicked smile.

She pinched Ling Xi’s chin and leaned half a step closer, her eyes clear and determined. Her opening line was exactly what she wanted: “Be my girlfriend.”

The unyielding Ling Xi was not falling for Qiao Bo’er’s trick. She brushed her hand away with extreme contempt: “Are you starved for love?”

“I’m starved for you.”

“I am not starved for you. I’m done talking. Do whatever you want!” Ling Xi impatiently shouted. She looked in the mirror, realized the ink stain on her face was indeed gone, and quickly washed her face.

Bickering was one thing, but she wouldn’t forget about the free meal.

Ling Xi was a clever spirit, softening her tone to give herself an out: “Firstly, I will not date you, because I am a great proponent of single life; secondly, I have many flaws but a good temper, don’t push me too far; finally, I am your teacher, your dad, you must learn to respect your teacher… Let’s go, treat me to a meal.”

Watching Ling Xi happily skipping away, Qiao Bo’er packed her purse, finding the whole thing unbelievable.

She angrily threw the cotton pad onto the sink, leaning on the washbasin, exasperated and amused: “This brat really knows how to win with words… What the heck did I fall for?”

…

Ling Xi sat inside Qiao Bo’er’s little tank. While others examine the luxurious interiors of fancy cars, she was different, constantly touching the car seat cushion.

Qiao Bo’er didn’t start the engine. She rested her hands on the steering wheel, watching Ling Xi constantly wiggling, and teased her maliciously: “Is your hemorrhoid acting up? Can’t sit still?”

“Tch, speak properly! How do you adjust the seat back in this car? I want to lie down for a bit.”

Lazy, incredibly lazy.

Just as Ling Xi finished asking, Qiao Bo’er suddenly pressed close to her. Her outstretched hand, not knowing what she was about to do, scared the “salty fish” (Ling Xi’s nickname, meaning a lazy person) into holding her breath and pressing hard against the seat back, wide-eyed and afraid to blink.

The next second, the electric seat back reclined.

The sudden movement made Ling Xi lose her balance. Subconsciously wanting to grab onto something, she squinted and hugged recklessly, pulling Qiao Bo’er’s neck and causing both of them to fall backward.

Qiao Bo’er’s platinum-blonde hair scattered over her face, bringing with it a pleasant scent, but also tickling her face.

Hugging Qiao Bo’er in that moment, Ling Xi realized the crazy woman was very slender. She clearly saw the sexy collarbone, mesmerizing enough to steal a person’s soul.

Ling Xi couldn’t react, but Qiao Bo’er was already smiling wickedly, pressing her face into Ling Xi’s neck, teasing in a muffled voice: “This time you initiated it, and you’re still not letting go, so I won’t be polite…”

An itch, accompanied by a slight sting, came from her neck. Ling Xi slightly parted her lips, wanting to push Qiao Bo’er away, but it was too late.

Qiao Bo’er had merely planted a fresh, red “little strawberry” (a hickey) on her smooth skin. She didn’t linger, got up, and started the engine.

Ling Xi lay motionless on the seat back, her hair messy, her clothes wrinkled. An unknowing person would think Qiao Bo’er had done something illegal to her.

Ling Xi’s mind was blank, but soon she remembered the scene of their first meeting—she was a vampire, a sun-proof vampire, a vampire who would only suck the life out of her.

History had repeated itself, yet again!

Qiao Bo’er drove, occasionally glancing at Ling Xi, who remained in the motionless, lying-flat position, not speaking, just staring straight at the car roof.

Qiao Bo’er couldn’t understand. She had wealth and background. Judging purely by her looks, men coveted her and women obsessed over her; she was half a Daji (a legendary wicked consort) when she went out to wreak havoc.

This brat, however, was peculiar. All the embracing and seductive efforts were met with stubborn resistance. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. The extreme anger turned into laughter: “Stop looking like I’ve ruined your life, you’d be better off thinking about what to eat for lunch.”

Actually, Ling Xi wasn’t angry. Being kissed by the crazy woman so often had ironically made her used to it.

Humans are terrifying creatures with extreme adaptability!

Ling Xi also couldn’t figure it out. She couldn’t win a fight, nor could she win an argument. In terms of combat power, she had no physical or magical offense. Breaking Qiao Bo’er’s game seemed impossible.

They say low-level animals in the food chain survive by playing dead. Ling Xi was the low-level creature pounded into the dirt by Qiao Bo’er.

What else could she do? Play dead, of course.

…

Qiao Bo’er parked the car, turned her head, and glared at the still “playing dead” Ling Xi. Unable to bear it anymore, she reached out and grabbed her arm: “Get up, get out of the car.”

Ling Xi stretched, and her stomach appropriately grumbled. The hungry glutton asked: “What are we eating?”

“What do you want to eat?”

“I’m okay with anything,” Ling Xi replied casually. A flash of thousands of dancing surströmmings crossed her mind, and she quickly added vigilantly: “Except surströmming.”

“What… psychologically scarred?” Qiao Bo’er teased with a brilliant smile. But she didn’t want her beloved lazy cat to starve, so she urged again: “Stop loafing around, get up quickly. I’ll take you to eat something delicious.”

Ling Xi naughtily beckoned her with a finger, then pointed to her neck, being difficult: “Don’t rush, what goes around comes around. You figure out a way to get rid of this thing first, or I’m not leaving.”

Qiao Bo’er raised an eyebrow, staring at the little strawberry on Ling Xi’s neck, her smile deepening: “It can’t be removed, but… I can help you put another one on. It would look better symmetrical.”

Upon hearing this, Ling Xi frantically covered her neck: “In your dreams! Symmetrical indeed.”

“My patience is limited. Are you getting up or not?”

“No.”

“Ling Xi, how old are you? Why are you acting like a child?”

“I don’t care. You have to figure out a way. How can I meet people with this thing on my neck in broad daylight!?”

Seeing that Ling Xi was refusing to move from the car seat, Qiao Bo’er narrowed her eyes. She had many ways to deal with her. In a flash, she grabbed the car key and got out without a word.

Ling Xi was dumbfounded. She quickly sat up and tried to pull the car door, but Qiao Bo’er had locked it one step ahead of her.

It was so hot. If she was locked in the car, she would soon suffocate.

Ling Xi kept banging on the car window. The residual cold air wasn’t enough. With slightly larger movements, beads of sweat started to appear on her forehead.

Qiao Bo’er stood outside the car door, arms crossed, enjoying Ling Xi’s panicked expression. She quite enjoyed it.

“Crazy woman, let me out!”

“You’re committing a crime! I’m going to sue you for attempted murder!”

“Qiao Bo’er! Open the door, open the door!”

This brat needed to be trained, or she’d keep getting insolent.

The car’s sound insulation was excellent. Ling Xi was practically raising hell inside, but there was no noise outside. After a while, she finally quieted down.

Ling Xi’s face was distorted as it pressed against the window. Only this way could she feel a comfortable coolness.

Qiao Bo’er bent down and tapped on the car window to get the “salty fish’s” attention. She saw her breathe hot air onto the window and write “kiss.”

Ling Xi followed suit, drawing an angry face. Qiao Bo’er pursed her lips and shook her head, indicating that was not the answer she wanted, so she wrote “kiss” again.

Ling Xi was angry, but thinking of Qiao Bo’er’s reckless and shameless nature when she went crazy, she had no choice but to compromise. She puffed out her cheeks and shamefully pressed her mouth against the window, remaining still.

Looking at the “salty fish’s” helpless and adorable expression, Qiao Bo’er giggled. She tilted her head and leaned toward the window, giving a fleeting kiss through the glass.

Lips will eventually taste the fragrance of flowers, lost in the gentle warmth of profound desire, no longer separated by a short distance.

But, not at this moment.

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