After the Zerg General Was Accidentally Marked - Chapter 7

Chapter 7: The Joke

The best way to protect something precious is to keep it far away from danger.

The second best way is to make it look not so precious.

After seeing the little male’s disguise, Sears wasn’t quite as worried. Everett was already taller than most males, and wearing a loose sweatshirt made his physique indistinguishable. His striking silver hair was hidden under a brown wig, with overly long, messy bangs covering half his eyes, and his golden pupils were masked by brown contact lenses.

His fair complexion was touched up with darker makeup, and with the addition of oversized glasses, a mask, and a hat, his exquisite beauty was cleverly concealed. If one didn’t look closely… he really did resemble a sub-female.

“Most members of the Sears Fan Group are females and sub-females; it’s inconvenient for a male to mix in. I used to pretend to be a sub-female to attend events all the time,” Everett explained.

Sears nodded in understanding; so, he was a repeat offender.

He then returned to the kitchen to continue making dinner for himself. While nutritional supplements were convenient, their taste truly couldn’t be called good. So, while the little male was out during the day, Sears had obtained purchasing authority from “Little Idiot” and stocked the fridge with cheap ingredients.

The female was holding a sandwich, ready to take a bite, when the little male having finished testing his disguise pulled down his mask and poked his head in: “You can cook?”

Likely drawn by the sight of food, the little male wasn’t frightened by his gruesome face this time. However, the skepticism still felt like an affront to the female. Although his culinary skills were far from excellent, his grades in the Diet and Cooking course at the military academy had at least been passing. Making enough food to fill a stomach was more than manageable. Furthermore, it was just a sandwich; did that even count as “cooking”?

But Sears hadn’t forgotten that he was currently a female slave. Even the money used to buy the ingredients came from the male standing before him. Thus, he proactively handed over his sandwich.

Everett carefully took the sandwich, lifted the top slice of bread, and meticulously inspected the contents. A leaf of green vegetable, minced fish, and a layer of sauce. Finally, he let out a long sigh: “Nothing is alive!”

“Live food is a male-only specialty. I bought female-grade ingredients; they’re much cheaper. If it’s not to your taste, give it back to me.” Males are so picky.

“No, no, no, that’s not what I meant. I don’t like eating live things!” Everett could never forget the first meal he ate after returning to his so-called family. When he lifted the lid and found a pile of moving mollusks on the plate, he had vomited on the spot. Later, he discovered that almost all the food he could buy contained something living large or small, soft or hard, but all exceptionally… vibrant. In the insect race’s culinary culture, they seemed as indispensable as salt is in human cooking.

From then on, Everett had fallen deeply in love with safe and convenient nutritional supplements.

“So, there’s no live food in female meals?” It turned out the solution to the problem was that simple.

“Live food is nutrient-rich and easy to absorb, but it’s hard to preserve and expensive. It generally isn’t provided to females.” Seeing that the male had already taken a bite, Sears could only withdraw his hand and make another one for himself.

Halfway through eating, the little male, his cheeks puffed out, suddenly stopped. “Do you think Major General Sears would like eating this?”

Hearing his own name out of the blue, Sears, who had finished his sandwich in two bites, paused for a moment. He then continued putting on his bite-inhibitor without responding.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Major General Sears eat in public. Currently, we only know he likes blue sea-salt flavored supplements. I always feel like he’s the kind of hardcore military female who could live on supplements for a lifetime. But then again…”

It seemed that as long as “Major General Sears” was mentioned, the little male could talk incessantly for a long time. Sears didn’t dare chime in, fearing it would only open the floodgates further.

“This sandwich is pretty good; teach me how to make it. I’ll make it for Major General Sears in the future.”

“Sigh, I don’t know if he likes this kind of flavor. The sauce seems a bit spicy; would something lighter be better? You used to be a military female too, do you have any suggestions?”

Sears couldn’t take it anymore and used the translator to protest: “The military department has its own cafeteria. Random feeding by outside insects is prohibited.”

“You’re such a buzzkill; I’m just thinking about it.”

As expected of the future Insect Emperor, he certainly dares to dream.

But on second thought, since he was indeed using the male’s money to eat sandwiches, Sears decided to say something to comfort him. Just as he was organizing his words, the little male suddenly let out a strange laugh.

“…Why are you laughing?”

“Because I have a low ‘laugh point’ (laughing easily).”

What? Sears found that he often couldn’t keep up with the little male’s train of thought.

“Do you know what a ‘drip’ is? Like the IV drip when you’re sick.”

Sears nodded; of course he knew. Although females generally didn’t use this method of drug injection.

“There was an insect who was sick. While getting an IV drip, he kept laughing. Others asked him, ‘Why are you laughing?'”

“Because I have a low ‘laugh-drip’ (pun on ‘low laugh point’).”

After finishing, Everett looked at the female’s expression, only to find the other had no intention of laughing. Fun fact: one can tell if an insect is laughing just by their eyes.

“Is it not funny?”

Sears was unmoved, appearing somewhat bewildered.

“The drip, the IV drip, and ‘low laugh point.’ It’s a homophone—a pun, understand?” After explaining it like this, Everett also felt the cold joke wasn’t funny at all.

Yet, at that moment, Sears finally offered some “support,” and a mechanical voice came from the translator: “Ha. Ha. Ha.”

It was extremely stiff. Almost terrifying.

Everett sighed. “The joke I told… it’s not funny at all, is it?”

“It was terrible.”

“Can’t you cooperate a little? I am your nominal master, after all.”

“As you said, I am unable to lie in front of you.” This was a side effect of the marking.

The little male wilted for a while before finally finishing the rest of his sandwich in silence.

Then: “It’s okay. You can’t appreciate the essence of this joke, but Major General Sears can.”

No, he can’t.

“You think it’s not funny, but Major General Sears will definitely laugh.”

No, he won’t.

“Because Major General Sears definitely likes…”

The originally heavy and tense atmosphere had become quite lighthearted after the little male’s meddling. But Sears realized he had to interrupt him. “Do you have money?”

The little male froze. “I have quite a few Star Coins in my light-brain account. What do you want to do?”

“Not that kind. Do you have physical currency? Something that can’t be tracked.”

Sears explained: “It’s not good to go scouting for information empty-handed, is it?”

The little male didn’t have cash at home. This was understandable; ever since light-brains entered every household seventy years ago and used the integrated network to manage all information regarding males, online Star Coins had become the mainstream currency for transactions in male society. Inconvenient cash had been gradually phased out. Given Everett’s age, he might not have even seen what cash looked like with his own eyes.

However, this was limited to the male settlements with advanced light-brain systems. In female settlements and remote star sectors, due to incomplete facilities or incomplete signal coverage, various cash currencies were still in heavy circulation. After all, face-to-face settlement was always the most reliable way to trade.

Usually, however, a male’s home would have some precious metal jewelry, which could also circulate as currency. Everett was a male of the royal family, after all; surely he wasn’t without even that.

But he really didn’t have any. “I sold them to buy merchandise.”

Sears: …Unexpected, yet it makes perfect sense.

Fortunately, “Little Idiot” helped organize a value list of items in the house and found something usable: “Besides the safe in the Master’s merchandise room which cannot be inspected, the portable items in the house that can serve as currency mainly include: ten Major General Sears Gold Badges, three Major General Sears Diamond-encrusted Silver Card Sets…”

“Stop! I won’t spend those!” Everett interrupted before Little Idiot could finish.

Meanwhile, Sears was curious: “What’s in the safe?”

“A secret.” Everett clearly didn’t want to say. “It’s not worth anything anyway, so stop asking.”

“Then all that’s left are ten vials of Flame Karatin a mental supplement for males.”

Sears immediately became alert. “Why is there Karatin reagent in the house?”

“Because I’ve always had mental power issues, so I need year-round medication. But since I marked you, the situation has improved a lot,” the little male explained. “These are just what’s left over.”

“But this is a male mental supplement. Why can it be used as currency in a female settlement?”

“Because male mental supplements contain male-like pheromone components. For males, it only promotes mental power enhancement, but it can act directly on the nervous systems of females and sub-females, allowing them to experience abnormal physical and mental pleasure. So it’s equivalent to…”

“An addictive drug,” Sears finished the sentence.

“Correct!” Little Idiot nodded. “A 1ml vial of Flame Karatin reagent can be sold for about 200 Star Coins in a female settlement.”

“The influence of pheromone-like substances on females and sub-females is that great? But, males naturally carry pheromones in their bodies. And marking must be completed with pheromone-rich body fluids.” Everett looked at the female slave he had marked. “But you didn’t have any…”

Sears shrugged. “Who said that? I have been longing for you all along.”

Those blue eyes stared straight at the little male, saying one word at a time, “Longing to suck you dry.”

Instantly, the classic vampire scene flashed through Everett’s mind. He suddenly had an illusion: if the female wasn’t wearing a bite-inhibitor, he would open his mouth and tear open Everett’s throat in the next second. For the first time, the little male felt that in those blue eyes, he was actually a walking plate of delicious food.

Everett backed away two steps in a slight panic and nearly tripped, but the female stepped forward to steady him. Now, he could clearly see the hint of a smile in those blue eyes.

“Master, please rest assured! Female slaves cannot resist males! Do not be afraid!” Little Idiot screeched.

Sears: “Tell that as a joke to Major General Sears. He will definitely laugh.”

Support After the Zerg General Was Accidentally Marked