After the Sang-Style Beauty Married the Disabled Villain [Transmigration] - Chapter 16

Xiao Fa returned after taking a call. “The director senior student said she has to attend a defense meeting for the seniors with her advisor today, so she probably can’t make it. She asked us to proceed with the auditions and send her the video once we’re done. She’ll edit it and post it on the campus forum, using public voting to determine the final face of the campaign.”

Shen Jia-Li: Whatever works. Hurry up and film it; once it’s done, I want to go back and lie down.

“Because our filming technique uses the campaign face’s perspective as the lens to lead everyone through the campus, the audition process will involve each candidate walking from the school gate to the pavilion. We are mainly assessing your posture and presence on camera.”

Shen Jia-Li gauged the distance from the school gate to the pavilion; it was about 100 meters. Too long… I suddenly don’t want this thousand yuan anymore.

But since a straight line is the shortest distance between two points, a lazy person can instantly turn their eyes into a measuring ruler to save effort. He automatically calculated several shortest straight lines over this distance, meticulously marking the reference points for every connection. If he just walked according to these markers, maybe it wouldn’t even be a hundred meters.

However, after one trip, Shen Jia-Li was already wilted. He quickly found a place to sit down and rest, attempting to blend in with the potted plants by the roadside. He realized his limit was only fifty meters.

Xiao Fa leaned over to him and smiled, “The lighting was too strong for one of the shots just now; it blocked your face perfectly. How about walking it one more time?”

“Not happening,” Shen Jia-Li said honestly. He glanced at Shen Lanqing, who was still auditioning, and for fear of being entangled by him again, he stood up. “If there’s nothing else, I’m leaving. My heart feels uncomfortable; I’m afraid I’m about to have an episode.”

Xiao Fa: …?

With all these illnesses, is this person even normal?

But Nan Feiyao hadn’t arrived yet; the “wingman” hadn’t created the chance for a hero to save the beauty, so it was hard for him to claim his commission. Xiao Fa’s eyeballs rotated like a flatfish’s, and his clever little brain instantly had an idea.

A hero saving a beauty witnessed by a dozen people is nowhere near as satisfying as one witnessed by the entire faculty and student body.

So, he smiled radiantly: “Classmate Shen, go ahead then. I’ll call you when the audition results are out. By the way, give me your contact info…”

Before he could finish, Shen Jia-Li had already drifted toward the school gate.

He pulled out his phone and took a look; “Idiot #22” had called him over a dozen times. There was no need to ask who “Idiot #22” was. At the mere thought of his face, that chanting, nagging voice rang in his ears again.

Sure enough, as soon as he got home, Uncle Li stood with his hands on his hips, looking exactly like a middle-aged aunt prepared for a mouth-to-mouth battle: “Mr. Shen, where have you been? You didn’t even answer your phone! Didn’t the Young Master say you shouldn’t be more than two kilometers away from home?”

Shen Jia-Li didn’t even have the strength to speak now; he headed straight upstairs and collapsed onto the bed.

It seemed to have become a strange law of nature that one’s dreams were always interrupted. No sooner had he closed his eyes than Uncle Li came to knock on the door: “Mr. Shen, it’s 3:00 PM. The Young Master will be home in three hours. Please prepare dinner as soon as possible.”

Shen Jia-Li: Who is Mr. Shen? From today on, I’m changing my name to follow my mother’s surname, Lin.

But, wait. Dinner? Dinner expenses?

Expenses? Money?

Shen Jia-Li sat up slowly, opened the door, and before Uncle Li could lecture him, he took the initiative: “I’ll buy the ingredients for tonight.”

Uncle Li thought, This is like seeing tears fall on the eyebrows; seeing the moon in broad daylight has Shen Jia-Li actually had a change of heart? Perhaps the Young Master’s periodic fasting days had taken effect, and the Queen Mother of the West had seen the Young Master’s sincerity and enlightened this unreliable Shen Jia-Li in his dreams!

Furthermore, as an elder, he knew that children should be encouraged. Since he had the heart to learn, he should be given the opportunity.

Without thinking too much, Uncle Li handed the money to Shen Jia-Li and told him which ingredients to buy for the evening and where to buy them. To make it easier to remember, Shen Jia-Li linked the keywords of the three ingredients together, forming the mnemonic: “Duck-Empty-Mouth”.

Before leaving, he even asked inexplicably: “Does this money count as joint marital property?”

“Logically, yes.”

Having received a definite answer, Shen Jia-Li left the house with the money.

He had volunteered to buy groceries, but he regretted it the moment he stepped out the door. Looking at the shaded path leading to the main road in front of the house, Shen Jia-Li only felt his muscles aching all over; his teeth ached, and his head ached.

By the time he dragged his broken, tattered body outside the market, his “depressive” condition fully flared up. There were so many people, the stalls were densely packed, and the air was filled with the salty, fishy smell of seafood—every single factor felt like poison, being force-fed to him by a giant hand clutching his chin.

“Local mantis shrimp are on sale! On sale! Handsome! Buy some mantis shrimp!” The vendor enthusiastically solicited Shen Jia-Li.

Shen Jia-Li carefully recalled the three words “Duck-Empty-Mouth.” Mantis shrimp had nothing to do with it; he wouldn’t buy it.

But once he stepped into the market, his footsteps halted abruptly, and he slowly let out a “?”

“Duck-Empty-Mouth”… what were they again? It wasn’t his poor memory—the vendor’s shouting had just made him forget. He couldn’t call back to ask; otherwise, given Uncle Li’s personality, he would definitely revoke his grocery-shopping privileges.

At this moment, a sound came from a stall hung with stark naked white ducks: “Fat duck, fat duck! White, plump, and fragrant meat! Little handsome, want to buy a duck?”

Shen Jia-Li gazed at the ducks that had kicked the bucket and ascended to heaven. Did the “Duck” in “Duck-Empty-Mouth” refer to a duck? It seemed so. But preparing a duck was too troublesome; he’d have to take out the organs and pluck the remaining feathers. It definitely couldn’t be a duck—this was the last stubborn stand of a lazy, depressive soul.

So, he slowly looked at the stall next to the ducks: “Boss, buy duck eggs.”

The boss beamed: “How many?”

Shen Jia-Li thought for a moment. Since he wasn’t eating dinner, Nan Liujing and Uncle Li could each have one. He held up two fingers to the boss.

“Two jin, right? Alright!” The boss nimbly filled the bag with duck eggs, filling more than half the bag. Then he heard Shen Jia-Li say slowly: “I want two eggs.”

The boss’s hand, reaching out to get more eggs, trembled slightly.

Carrying the two duck eggs, Shen Jia-Li thought again, what did “Empty” refer to? He vaguely remembered from the original text that, in order to treat his leg ailment, the villain had lived abroad for a long time. Perhaps he missed those difficult years and wanted to eat some local food to reminisce about the past.

Macaroni.

A bag of macaroni cost sixteen yuan. Shen Jia-Li thought about how to save some money to expand his “small treasury,” which was still at zero balance, so he learned from the old man next to him and bargained: “Boss, lower the price; I’ll take it for five yuan.”

Boss: “Don’t irritate me. Bargaining by half is already excessive, and here you are—chopping off everything below the neck!”

Finally, after bargaining down by one yuan, Shen Jia-Li took the macaroni for fifteen yuan.

There was still the last “Mouth” (口) left. Shen Jia-Li’s completely crashed brain couldn’t think of any food related to “Mouth” after a long time. He scanned the market, reciting the names of dishes in his heart, but searched for a long time without finding any food with “Mouth” in its name.

Just then, the sound of a chainsaw suddenly came from not far away. He looked over and saw a vendor throw a pig’s head just butchered and still steaming hot—from a pig carcass onto the stall.

“Pop.” The little bubble in his brain suddenly burst. He knew what “Mouth” referred to.

Before he left, Uncle Li had handed him 500 yuan. When he returned, his small treasury had 455 yuan more. Although it was still 7,999,545 yuan away from buying an “underground CBD,” one must have dreams—what if it came true one day?

Uncle Li had calculated the time and was waiting at the door to welcome Shen Jia-Li’s triumphant return, having already organized beautiful words of praise in his heart, until Shen Jia-Li handed the dinner ingredients to him.

Uncle Li: …?!

“Mr. Shen, this is…” He was terrified of having wronged the child and quickly asked, worried.

Shen Jia-Li slumped into the sofa in exhaustion, his fingers rubbing his temples: “Dinner ingredients.”

He said it so sincerely that Uncle Li even suspected if there was something wrong with his own eyes.

“Mr. Shen, if I’m not mistaken, dinner should be Rock Sugar and Pear Soup, Stir-fried Water Spinach, and… Pan-seared Agaricus.”

Oh. So the “Duck-Empty-Mouth” referred to Duck Pear, Water Spinach (Empty-heart vegetable), and Agaricus (Mouth mushroom). Not duck eggs, macaroni, and… pig tongue.

Just a moment ago at the market, when he watched the boss cut the pig’s tongue out of the pig’s head, Shen Jia-Li was still thinking, The villain’s tastes really are quite unique.

“The 24th of every month is the Young Master’s fasting day no meat or fish allowed all day. How can you eat this pig tongue? And the Young Master never eats animal offal; what should I do?” Uncle Li was overcast with clouds, as if he were about to cry for him in the next second.

Shen Jia-Li rose lazily: “I’ll go to the market again.”

Since it was a matter of principle for someone else, Shen Jia-Li knew it wouldn’t be right to offend him, so he could only (painfully) take a bit out of his small treasury as compensation.

“It’s too late, it’s already five o’clock.” Uncle Li looked tragic, as if going to his death: “Put the tongue in the refrigerator, and please handle the rest of the cooking yourself, Mr. Shen.”

Shen Jia-Li: “Alright.”