After the Most Hated Persona Faked Their Death, the Ex-Husband Lost His Mind - Chapter 24

After several consecutive days of heavy rain, S City finally welcomed a sunny day. However, despite the fine weather, very few people ventured outside. The ground remained covered in puddles, and a single careless step could easily soak one’s trousers.

Gong Jie had stayed up half the night chatting with her partner and was exhausted this morning. She was currently dozing at her desk. Yet, with people constantly passing by during the long break, she found it impossible to fall into a deep sleep.

Li Zhi sat beside her. Gong Jie could hear the rhythmic scritch-scratch of his pen against paper. At some point, the sound stopped, replaced by the rustle of a brown paper bag being opened. Soon, the scent of a cod sandwich wafted over.

“This cod is very fishy,” she heard Li Zhi murmur softly.

“That is why I paired it with lemon tea, to cut the fishiness.” The voice was cold and lifeless as a corpse. It was Chu Mingzhang.

Li Zhi fell silent for a few seconds. Chu Mingzhang said nothing more, leaving only the sound of the sandwich wrapper being crumpled and released. Li Zhi spoke again: “I do not like eating this.”

“No,” Chu Mingzhang said. “You must eat breakfast.”

Gong Jie furrowed her brows slightly and silently turned her head the other way. She peeked through a sliver of an eye and saw Li Zhi nibbling on the sandwich with a pained expression while Chu Mingzhang stood by with his arms crossed, simply watching him.

The scene was strange. Gong Jie had been so immersed in the sweetness of her new relationship that she had not noticed the shift between the two. Her impression was still stuck on the stage where Li Zhi was Chu Mingzhang’s little errand boy, following his every whim.

Was it not usually Li Zhi who scrambled to bring breakfast to the pampered young master? Since when had the roles reversed? Gong Jie quickly and happily accepted this change; she was glad to see it.

However, their subsequent conversation turned chilling for her. Li Zhi, holding his nose, finished half the sandwich and refused to take another bite. “Brother Mingzhang, I do not want to eat anymore.”

Chu Mingzhang did not force him further. He simply pushed the coffee cup filled with lemon tea toward Li Zhi. “Wake up earlier next time, or this will be the only thing left to eat.”

Li Zhi was generally easy-going, except when it came to breakfast. Gong Jie knew this well. He found Chinese breakfast either too pungent or too greasy. When Gong Jie suggested porridge, Li Zhi said it was not filling enough. He was equally picky with Western breakfast; either the eggs were too oily or the sauces tasted strange. He would usually take two bites and stop. He only favored the meals from a specific café on the first floor of the school.

That shop was very popular, and its fresh ingredients were limited. If one arrived late, everything would be sold out. Today, by the time Chu Mingzhang arrived, only the cod Li Zhi disliked remained.

“Do not forget to set your alarm tonight. We almost arrived late today.”

Li Zhi nodded, and Chu Mingzhang turned to leave. At that moment, Gong Jie sat up from the desk. She propped her chin on her hand and squinted. “The young master syndrome has worsened, has it not? Setting an alarm is just a flick of a finger. He is too lazy to even do that? He needs you to act as a human alarm clock to wake him up?”

Her sudden voice startled Li Zhi. “What? No, it is not like that.”

“I have been staying in his dorm for the past few days. Brother Mingzhang does not like the sound of alarms, and I happen to wake up very early without one, so I am the one who wakes him up.”

Li Zhi scratched his head, looking a bit embarrassed. “Mainly because last night, we stayed up until almost dawn before sleeping, so I overslept.”

The sheer volume of information in those few sentences left Gong Jie speechless. “Wait, wait.” She nearly choked on her own saliva. “What did you say? You are living with him? And you stayed up with him until almost dawn before sleeping?” Gong Jie gasped, her eyes scanning Li Zhi up and down. “What were you two doing in the middle of the night!”

In that instant, countless unspeakable images flashed through Gong Jie’s mind. The sheer boldness of the scenes was breathtaking. She shook her head violently to clear the filth. Trying to keep her tone calm and her words subtle, she asked, “Li Zhi, tell me. What is your relationship with Chu Mingzhang now?”

Li Zhi froze for a second or two, then said hesitantly, “Friends?”

The uncertainty in his tone made Gong Jie’s heart tighten. “The pure kind?”

Li Zhi did not answer immediately. He remained silent for a moment before speaking. “I do not know.”

Gong Jie’s vision went dark. The images she had cleared away came flooding back, even more scandalous than before. She could hardly speak; her voice shook like a vibrating string. “What do you mean? What did you two do?”

Her sudden raised voice startled Li Zhi. After a moment, his brain caught up to her meaning. His face exploded into a deep red. “Gong Jie! What are you thinking? We did nothing! We are friends, but…”

Li Zhi lowered his eyelashes, casting a shadow over his pale face. His voice carried a trace of hesitation. “I do not think I can just treat him as a friend or someone to admire anymore. Jie.” Li Zhi’s voice was soft, yet it reached Gong Jie’s ears clearly. “I think I love him.”

He thought these words would be difficult to say. For many days, ever since he learned that Chu Mingzhang did not like Gong Jie, this thought had occupied his mind, growing stronger with every daily heartbeat. He could not say exactly when his envy of Chu Mingzhang turned into admiration, admiration into liking, and liking into love.

The greatest commonality between these three feelings was craving.

He craved the hand Chu Mingzhang stretched out to him, craved his company, craved his flickers of tenderness, and craved the man himself.

Gong Jie stared at him, completely stunned. Li Zhi did not look like he was lying. As he spoke, the embarrassed flush faded, replaced by a faint, happy glow. He was smiling without even realizing it, like a jade statue emitting a soft light.

“Are you sure?” Gong Jie stammered. “You love him? My god, Li Zhi? Is that not an exaggeration? How old are we? Is ‘love’ not too heavy a word?”

“No!” Li Zhi hurried to contradict her. “It is not an exaggeration. It is love. It is love.”

He was certain. If he did not love Chu Mingzhang, why would his heart beat so fast and why would he feel so happy when he saw him? In Li Zhi’s eyes, Chu Mingzhang was a hero, a superman, perfect and powerful. He had saved Li Zhi from trouble time and again. Li Zhi depended on him, eventually feeling an instinctive sense of peace just by seeing him.

Most importantly, it went back to when Chu Mingzhang gave him a hand at the hospital. At that time, everything was falling apart. Li Zhi’s only relative in the world could have died at any moment. No matter how Wang Xiaochun treated him, Li Zhi could not stop loving her. In his most fearful and helpless hour, Chu Mingzhang appeared. Chu Mingzhang had subtly replaced Zhou Guoxiong’s role, perfectly filling the deepest craving in Li Zhi’s heart.

Gong Jie listened as Li Zhi repeated the word “love.” He looked like a drunk person immersed in a hallucinogen called “happiness.” She understood the feeling, but she felt a sense of dread. It was clear that Li Zhi was far more invested than she had ever been.

“So, what do you plan to do?” Gong Jie asked.

Li Zhi thought for a moment and answered honestly, “I do not know.”

Gong Jie asked again, “Do you think he likes you?”

“Brother Mingzhang? Of course he does not.” Li Zhi’s first instinct was to deny it, but as he spoke, his gaze fell on the coffee cup. He stopped.

It had been raining for days. A week ago, at seven in the evening, a torrential downpour began without warning. Li Zhi happened to be in Chu Mingzhang’s dorm, getting ready to leave after dinner. There was no umbrella in the dorm. The storm stopped him in his tracks. He waited for nearly two hours, but the rain showed no sign of stopping.

Li Zhi leaned against the window. “The rain is so heavy today.”

Chu Mingzhang turned a page of his book. “Mhm.”

“It is almost nine o’clock.” Li Zhi looked at the time. It was late; even if the rain did not stop, he should leave.

Chu Mingzhang glanced at him. “Then stay.”

Li Zhi froze. The words were sudden, leaving him at a loss. Chu Mingzhang looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “The rain will not stop tonight.”

“I know.”

“So,” Chu Mingzhang looked Li Zhi in the eye and repeated himself, “Stay.”

It was just rain, just an umbrella. There were a thousand ways to get an umbrella, but Chu Mingzhang asked him to stay.

The next day was clear. Li Zhi still had dinner with Chu Mingzhang in the dorm. That night, Li Zhi ate very slowly, yet he had a rare, huge appetite, finishing two large bowls of rice. Just before seven-thirty, thunder rumbled outside. Li Zhi put down his chopsticks, his heart finally relaxing, and the discomfort in his overstuffed stomach eased.

Chu Mingzhang had finished eating but was still sitting at the table. Hearing the thunder, he put down his phone and looked at Li Zhi. “Did you bring an umbrella today?”

Li Zhi cast a subtle glance at his bag by the entryway. His hand tightened around his chopsticks for some reason. His throat felt dry as he shook his head. “I did not.”

Chu Mingzhang seemed to let out a short laugh. Li Zhi did not understand what that laugh meant. He lowered his head, his ears turning red. Chu Mingzhang said, “Then continue to stay here.”

On the third day, it rained all day. Both of them had umbrellas. But after dinner, Li Zhi did not leave, and Chu Mingzhang did not speak. They reached a tacit agreement. From that day on, they lived together.

Sometimes Li Zhi felt this atmosphere was dangerous, yet he could not help but indulge in it. This ambiguous relationship filled him with infinite fantasies and constant anxiety.

Chu Mingzhang would stay up late with him. They would play video games all night, finally collapsing onto the sofa in exhaustion. Waking up in the morning, Li Zhi would see a grumpy Chu Mingzhang in his school uniform, running a hand through his messy hair. He would check the time and curse, saying they were going to be late.

It was the first time Li Zhi had heard Chu Mingzhang speak like that, and he found it hilarious. He started laughing foolishly. Chu Mingzhang turned to him: “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing.”

“We are going to be late,” Chu Mingzhang said.

“Yes, I see the clock.”

Chu Mingzhang asked, “Why did you not wake me up?”

Li Zhi replied, “I overslept.”

Chu Mingzhang asked again, “Then why did you not set an alarm?”

Li Zhi answered again, “I thought I would not oversleep.”

Chu Mingzhang was speechless. He tossed Li Zhi’s uniform to him. “Hurry up, we are going to be late.”

They managed to dress, wash, and brush their teeth within three minutes. This was likely one of the few frantic moments in Chu Mingzhang’s life. When they reached the classroom door, a tuft of Chu Mingzhang’s hair was still sticking up. When they entered, many people stared at that tuft. Chu Mingzhang’s face was as dark as the bottom of a pot. After class, he used water to flatten it.

Li Zhi knew Chu Mingzhang blamed him for not waking him up. That was why he bought Li Zhi the cod sandwich he hated most. But regardless, he had still bought Li Zhi breakfast.

At some point, it had become Chu Mingzhang bringing breakfast to Li Zhi.

The real Chu Mingzhang was actually quite different from the image he presented to the world. Almost everyone thought he was cold, unfeeling, and dangerous. Even setting aside his family background, his appearance and personality would make people hesitate. But in reality, he was not that scary.

Chu Mingzhang was no different from ordinary people. He loved sweets and disliked spicy food, while Li Zhi loved spicy food. Before the weekend, he would sit with Li Zhi to choose an authentic Sichuan restaurant. His lips would turn bright red from the spice, yet he would stubbornly claim he felt nothing while drinking several glasses of water.

Li Zhi would not be able to stop laughing, and Chu Mingzhang would get angry, which usually meant he would stop talking while walking with Li Zhi. Although he was usually silent, Li Zhi could now distinguish between his normal state and his anger.

At those times, Li Zhi would say he wanted ice cream. But when the clerk handed him the cone, he would turn and give it to Chu Mingzhang.

“Let us not come back to this place next time. I think the taste is actually quite mediocre,” Li Zhi said against his own heart, having just finished a huge bowl of rice with poached beef.

Chu Mingzhang took the cone, looked at Li Zhi who was tilting his head up at him, and said he thought it was okay and they should come back. Li Zhi laughed. Chu Mingzhang watched him for a moment before looking away and taking a bite of the ice cream. Had Li Zhi seen it wrong? As Chu Mingzhang looked down, the corner of his mouth seemed to twitch upward.

He would stay in bed. He would be troubled when he accidentally got scratched while feeding a cat.

The family doctor came to clean the wound and administer a vaccine. Li Zhi sat and watched while Chu Mingzhang turned his head away. “What are you looking at?”

“You do not look like that kind of person,” Li Zhi said.

“What kind of person?”

“The kind who would feed a cat, a caring person.”

Chu Mingzhang let out a short laugh. “This is the second time I have fed a cat. It is also the second time I have been scratched by one.”

As he spoke, he ignored the doctor’s protest and lowered his head to light a cigarette. Li Zhi waited quietly. Once the outsider had left, Chu Mingzhang continued. “When I was seven, a cat wandered into the yard.”

He paused. “Its fur was gray and dirty. It smelled strange. It was not pretty. I did not want to bother with it, but it kept crying. So I went back. I gave it a bath. Surprisingly, it was a white cat. It was quite.” He hesitated. “Quite cute. Before I could decide what to do with it, the butler came. He wanted to take the cat away. Of course, I refused. The cat was startled, scratched my hand, and ran away.”

Li Zhi listened with bated breath. When Chu Mingzhang stopped, Li Zhi could not help but ask, “And then? What happened to the cat?”

Chu Mingzhang looked at him, into his bright eyes. He took a drag of his cigarette, his voice slightly raspy. “There is no ‘and then’.”

The butler was fired. They told Chu Mingzhang the cat had run away. But a few days later, Chu Mingzhang saw a large clump of bloody cat fur outside the yard. Seven-year-old Chu Mingzhang went to his mother. “Where is the cat?”

At that time, he still held onto hope. He hoped his mother would say the cat ran away like everyone else. Even if he knew it was not the truth, he would have believed her. But his mother told the truth: “It is dead.”

“Stray cats have diseases. You should stay away when you see them and call someone to chase them off. Sigh, why are you crying?”

“Why are you crying?” Small Chu Mingzhang was held by her. She gestured to someone, and the new butler came over carrying a plush bed. Inside was another cat, a beautiful purebred, not much older than the stray.

“Look, it is very beautiful and cute. It is a CFA kitten champion. Mingzhang, if you want to keep a cat, you should keep one like this.”

Chu Mingzhang clenched his fists and turned his face away. “I do not like it. Send it back.”

“Why? It is clearly so much cuter. Mingzhang, do not make things difficult for mother. Bringing a stray cat home? What would that look like? You should stay away from those filthy stray cats.”

Of course, the purebred cat was not kept either and was eventually sent away. Chu Mingzhang did not know where it went. For many years after, he never approached cats again. Who knew that one touch today would draw blood again?

“Ah, what a pity,” Li Zhi said with regret. “Is it the cat in your WeChat profile picture?”

“Yes. I only took that one photo.”

Li Zhi hugged his legs and looked at him. Chu Mingzhang’s profile was blurred in the lingering smoke. The dispersing mist seemed to pull the two of them into the same space. Li Zhi did not know why Chu Mingzhang told him these things, but he felt the distance between them had shortened slightly. The wisps of white smoke were like silk threads winding them together. Li Zhi did not hate the feeling.

Li Zhi liked watching Chu Mingzhang smoke. At those times, Chu Mingzhang showed a rare sense of confusion and vulnerability. A small crack opened in his heart, allowing Li Zhi to glimpse inside for a moment. This fascinated Li Zhi.

But he rarely smoked, only touching it when he was in a very bad mood. Li Zhi had only seen it twice. Once was this time, and the other, the other was today.

When Li Zhi pushed open the door, Chu Mingzhang was sitting on the balcony smoking.

“Brother Mingzhang?” Li Zhi spoke in surprise. He changed his shoes and walked toward the balcony. “Why are you back? I thought you were going to the orchestra rehearsal.”

“I did not go today.” Chu Mingzhang looked up at him. The tip of his cigarette glowed red as he gestured downward. Li Zhi sat down naturally, watching him without blinking. Several crushed cigarette butts were scattered on the ground.

Li Zhi asked him, “Brother Mingzhang, how many have you smoked?”

Chu Mingzhang glanced at the pack. “Not many. Half a pack, maybe.”

Li Zhi asked again, “Brother Mingzhang, what is wrong?”

Chu Mingzhang flicked the ash. He tilted his head back, took another drag, and frowned slightly. His words were a bit muffled. “Nothing.”

Li Zhi was quiet for a while. Just as Chu Mingzhang thought he would not speak, he heard rustling. A sudden warmth pressed against him as Li Zhi leaned in. Chu Mingzhang turned to see Li Zhi’s face close up. Those eyes seemed even larger, bright as if floating on water. “Brother Mingzhang, are you unhappy? Talk to me.”

Li Zhi leaned in closer, his brows dipping in deep concern. “What are you thinking about?”

Chu Mingzhang stared at him, like someone who had looked into Medusa’s eyes and turned into a motionless statue. It was not until the cigarette burned down to his fingers that he suddenly snapped back. He lowered his eyelashes and moved back subtly. He asked a completely unrelated question: “Li Zhi, do you know how to smoke?”

Li Zhi hesitated for a moment and did not answer.

Chu Mingzhang gave a very faint smile. “Try it. I will teach you.”

He crushed the cigarette in his hand and took out a new one. Holding it in his mouth, he cupped his left hand. With the click of the lighter, the cigarette was lit. Chu Mingzhang looked up and slowly exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Just like that. Very simple.” He put down the lighter and handed the pack to Li Zhi. “Try.”

Li Zhi stared at the pack for a moment. He did not speak or take it. Then, he did something Chu Mingzhang never expected. He straightened up, propped one hand on Chu Mingzhang’s leg, and without hesitation, bit onto the cigarette in Chu Mingzhang’s hand. He closed his eyes and took a drag. From Chu Mingzhang’s angle, he could see the trembling eyelashes, the sharp chin, and the long, arched neck.

Li Zhi slowly opened his eyes, and the smoke drifted away gently. His smoking action was practiced, perhaps even more so than Chu Mingzhang’s. He turned his face, his eyelids half-lowered. He smiled like someone who was drunk. “I tried it.”

The distance between them was mere centimeters. No, perhaps not even centimeters. They drew closer until their noses brushed. They could count each other’s eyelashes and see their reflections in each other’s eyes. The world became very quiet. The lit cigarette fell to the ground, burning on its own. The glowing red spark flickered like a beating heart. At that moment, they could not even hear the wind. All that remained was the sound of their uneven breathing.

“Brother Mingzhang, are you very sad?” Li Zhi spoke in a breathy whisper that brushed against Chu Mingzhang’s ear like a feather. “I know. It is painful.”

What gave him the illusion? Was it himself in Chu Mingzhang’s eyes, or the unsteady heartbeats? At that moment, Li Zhi could remember nothing. All his senses were shut down, except for the touch of their lips meeting.

Li Zhi’s hands instinctively propped themselves on Chu Mingzhang’s shoulders. His soft, wet tongue traced the beautiful shape of the other’s lips. The sounds of moisture were suggestive, yet the movements were clumsy. He tasted the unique dark chocolate flavor of the Caviar President cigarette, bitter, yet addictive, just like Chu Mingzhang himself.

How long did the kiss last? Li Zhi could not say. If he had to put a time to it, it was probably the time it took for a cigarette to burn out. Just as the cigarette on the ground was about to reach its end, Li Zhi was suddenly pushed away with force.

The strength of it caught Li Zhi off guard. He fell onto the floor. Chu Mingzhang stood up abruptly, stepping right on the cigarette butt. The spark was crushed. The dizzy, ambiguous atmosphere vanished instantly.

“Brother Mingzhang,” Li Zhi called out tentatively. He tried to smile, though it was stiff and unnatural. “What is wrong?”

Chu Mingzhang’s face was horribly pale, like someone who had finally snapped awake. He took a deep breath, gripping the balcony railing so hard his knuckles turned white. Li Zhi was afraid he would crush it. “What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?”

Li Zhi had never seen Chu Mingzhang like this, furious and distorted. Li Zhi’s hands shook slightly. More than fear, he felt confusion and a sense of grievance.

Was it wrong? What had he done wrong? Had he misunderstood? Then what did Chu Mingzhang mean? Those natural accommodations, the flickers of tenderness, the words left unsaid, what did they all mean?

Why? Why did it turn out like this? Li Zhi’s mind went blank.

“Brother Mingzhang,” Li Zhi’s voice trembled, almost breaking into a sob. “What do you mean? I do not understand. I do not know.”

He desperately wanted an answer, but Chu Mingzhang refused to even look at him. He took a deep breath and pointed to the door. “Go.”

Li Zhi went cold. His limbs felt pinned down. Chu Mingzhang finally looked at him, shouting, “Leave! Do not let me fucking see you again.”

After saying this, he jerked his face away as if looking at Li Zhi for one more second would soil his eyes. This naked disgust stabbed into Li Zhi’s heart like a dagger. The pain made it almost impossible to breathe. Li Zhi did not know how he stood up or how he walked from the balcony to the entrance. He felt as if every step was on sharpened blades. On the marble floor of the living room, he imagined a trail of blood only he could see.

The door closed, forming a barrier that completely separated Li Zhi and Chu Mingzhang into two worlds. In that moment, Li Zhi felt as if all the bones had been removed from his body. He collapsed onto the floor without support.

Finally, he could no longer hold it back and broke into loud, bitter sobs.