After Rebirth, My Aloof Husband Can Hear My Inner Thoughts [Transmigration & Rebirth] - Chapter 65

When she opened her eyes again, the sky was dim, with rosy clouds swirling in a captivating display of colors that cast a dusky golden-purple hue over the bed curtains.

Lin Shengshen rubbed her eyes, which felt sore, perhaps from crying too much the previous night.

She shifted slightly, her entire body aching, and winced as she moved her legs, feeling swollen and uncomfortable.

In an instant, the man beside her awoke.

Xie Zhizhou had actually not gotten up but had stayed with her, sleeping through the entire day. In the past, he would have risen early to attend to official duties, or been in his study reading or writing, busy with his own affairs.

Lin Shengshen found herself pulled into his embrace again as he kissed her cheek.

It seemed this man could never get enough of kissing.

Lin Shengshen shot him a reproachful glance. Anyone unaware might think they were newlyweds reunited after a brief separation or facing an imminent parting—so addicted, so lacking in restraint, truly improper.

However, Lin Shengshen was genuinely afraid of him. Xie Zhizhou’s methods of discipline were truly formidable…

She silently moved farther away, separating her back from his embrace, finally feeling less feverish.

“What’s wrong?” The man instantly noticed her distance, pulling her back into his arms and whispering into her ear.

Lin Shengshen’s earlobes flushed red instantly, and she answered obediently, “No more recklessness. It’s swollen…”

Xie Zhizhou’s hand on her waist began to drift downward. “My apologies, let me apply some medicine for you.”

Lin Shengshen refused outright, her face flushed and her tone firm. “Absolutely no more touching, or I’ll never speak to you again.”

Xie Zhizhou dreaded such words the most and had no choice but to relent. He coaxed gently, “Did you enjoy it last night?”

The question was like a stone tossed into a calm lake, sending ripples that brought forth fragmented memories one after another. Lin Shengshen covered her face and turned her back to him again.

Xie Zhizhou pressed down on her, forcing her to look at him, and pressed further, “Didn’t you enjoy it?”

Why did Xie Zhizhou love discussing the details so meticulously afterward? Lin Shengshen blushed, unable to comprehend it.

Of course, she had enjoyed it.

When she finally fell asleep this morning, her mouth was parched, and she had to drink three cups of warm water to ease the discomfort slightly. Her nerves had been stretched taut and then relaxed, like a bowstring at full moon, pulled and soothed by Xie Zhizhou, rising to peaks and falling through clouds.

But she was too embarrassed to say it.

Lin Shengshen murmured softly, “It was… alright…”

The man above her immediately darkened his expression. He knew Lin Shengshen had high standards. These days, he had repeatedly reviewed the details in his dreams, only to inadvertently offend her again. Xie Zhizhou had thought he was certain to satisfy her this time, but it turned out to be merely “alright”…

What could he do? She was about to leave.

Last night, Lin Shengshen had reached her limit, crying and fussing to sleep, and he couldn’t demand more from her.

Even these last few times hadn’t brought Lin Shengshen joy.

A deep sense of defeat washed over him. Xie Zhizhou remained silent for a long moment before suddenly lowering his head to kiss her passionately.

Lin Shengshen, startled by the familiar intensity, bit him lightly. In the brief pause for breath, she hurriedly said, “Absolutely not, absolutely not.”

After a night of relentless activity, though the afterglow was delightful, she was truly afraid.

The person in his arms had flushed cheeks, a lightly trembling body, and a heart pounding so fiercely it seemed to reverberate through her fair skin, evoking pity. Naturally, he couldn’t bear to go against her wishes and make her suffer again. Besides, she had said it was swollen.

Xie Zhizhou stopped, restraining himself for a moment, suppressing the turbulent emotions in his eyes. Resting his head against Lin Shengshen’s neck, his voice hoarse, he asked, “What should I do with you?”

Lin Shengshen changed the subject. “Aren’t you busy today?” He had seemed quite occupied the past few days.

Xie Zhizhou shook his head, gazing deeply at her as if imprinting her in his eyes. “No, I only want to be with you.”

Lin Shengshen suddenly remembered that she had promised Baidou they would go to Jinzhi Tower today to check on the progress, but Xie Zhizhou had delayed her, and she hadn’t made it.

It seemed that beauty could derail affairs—a truth applicable to both men and women.

She smiled. “Then what about the future? If it’s always like this, both of us will end up wasting our time.”

The future? Xie Zhizhou dared not contemplate it. This ambiguous statement made him desperately want to ask: Would they truly have a future?

But he didn’t dare ask. What if he received an answer he didn’t want to hear? Would he lose even this current opportunity to hold her tenderly?

At least for now, he could pretend ignorance while stealing kisses.

Lin Shengshen had been stirred into restlessness by Xie Zhizhou’s teasing and inadvertently uttered grand promises. In her previous life, she had constantly spoken of “the future” with him:

“In the future, shall we sit by the window drinking tea and admiring flowers? These pear blossoms will surely bloom magnificently.”

“In the future, I’ll make incense for you—guaranteed to satisfy you!”

“In the future, we’ll be husband and wife… my dear husband.”

…There were too many such declarations. Lin Shengshen couldn’t decide which sounded most ridiculous now. Seeing Xie Zhizhou remain silent, his gaze dark and intense as he watched her, she thought: Apparently this one was the most laughable.

Lin Shengshen felt annoyed with herself. She was always like this—too optimistic. In her past life, when suffering seemed endless, she believed time would heal everything. After marriage, whenever he distanced himself, she thought being wedded would eventually make things right.

Now, coaxed by Xie Zhizhou’s sweet words of affection and seduced by his striking beauty, she felt complete, convinced he genuinely wanted forever with her, and began spouting nonsense that invited mockery.

She should have known better than to lose composure.

Suppressing the unease and bitterness in her heart, Lin Shengshen remembered that Xie Zhizhou could likely hear her chaotic thoughts, making her cheeks burn with shame. Unable to lie still any longer, she pushed him away and fabricated an excuse.

“I need to pack some things for returning to the Lin residence tomorrow. You should rest.”

Xie Zhizhou watched her expression shift from contentment to disgust and alienation, feeling as if his heart were being torn apart, bleeding profusely. He watched Lin Shengshen rise and dress, opening his mouth but saying nothing.

Trapping a bird meant to soar the skies was never a good idea.

Another entire night passed with the two inexplicably not exchanging another word.

Lin Shengshen simply packed some novel hairpins bought from Jinzhi Tower and a pair of knee pads she had embroidered recently. After reading for a while, she went to bed.

Xie Zhizhou watched her busy herself before silently lying down, clearly unwilling to engage. Though they had been intimately connected just the night before, today they were estranged, sharing a bed but not dreams.

The longer Lin Shengshen lay there, the angrier she grew. With her thoughts in such disarray for so long, she refused to believe Xie Zhizhou hadn’t heard any of them. Yet for some reason, he remained frozen, showing no intention of addressing her.

After how he had exhausted her last night, now he acted as if nothing happened—utterly detestable. She secretly decided to extend her stay at the Lin residence for several days.

Both lay awake through the night. At dawn, as the pale yellow sun rose, Lin Shengshen got up.

The moment she sat up, Xie Zhizhou wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

Xie Zhizhou’s large frame enveloped her like a mountain, his chest scorching against her back, inevitably reminding her of their prior passion and release.

Lin Shengshen shuddered.

Suppressing her lingering desires, she asked coldly, “What are you doing?”

Silence stretched between them in the bedchamber for a long, long time.

Xie Zhizhou finally spoke, his voice hoarse: “When spring comes next year, if those pear blossoms bloom… could we watch them together?”

Pear blossoms? Lin Shengshen suddenly recalled the row of pear trees she had planted in Tangli Residence right after her wedding. She said earnestly, “You told me those pear trees wouldn’t bloom for several years, and I’ve asked several nannies in the mansion—they all said the same. How could we possibly see pear blossoms next spring?”

She added, “In the previous life, for three years, that row of pear trees remained lush and green, never blooming.”

Lin Shengshen was held so tightly she could barely breathe. After a long while, a restrained male voice sounded by her ear as he said, “Alright.”

As usual, the moment Lin Shengshen arrived at the Lin residence, she was warmly surrounded and ushered inside.

Chen Yuying held her, looking her over left and right, tears falling as she said, “It’s good that you’re alright, it’s good that you’re alright.”

Lin Zhiping, knowing Lin Shengshen would return home today, had deliberately postponed many official duties and stayed home. Watching mother and daughter holding hands and weeping, he stood by absentmindedly sipping tea, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

Lin Xunen had rushed back from the outskirts early this morning, still clad in military attire, dusty from travel. He stood with arms crossed, his gaze never leaving his sister.

Only after repeatedly assuring everyone that she had long recovered did Lin Shengshen finally get the chance to sit down with everyone for tea and casual conversation.

Lin Xunen asked first, “Why did you only bring back so few things?”

Lin Shengshen was surprised, “Your sister was ill—how could I have had the energy to do more needlework? These knee pads were made for you while I was struggling through my illness. If you don’t want them, I’ll take them back.”

Lin Xunen laughed heartily, firmly holding the knee pads in his hands, and said gently, “That’s not what I meant. I was asking why you didn’t bring back all the hairpins, jewelry, and dresses you usually love to use? That would save you the trouble of going back to get them these next few days. But it’s fine, I’ll send someone with a carriage to the Xie residence later to pack your things.”

Lin Shengshen was utterly confused, “What do you mean? I’m only back for three days—why would I need so many things?”

Chen Yuying and Lin Zhiping exchanged a glance, then lowered their eyes in understanding.

Lin Xunen was astonished, “What? Xie Zhizhou didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“About the divorce.”

“He wants to divorce me?!” Lin Shengshen was furious. How dare he divorce her! Besides, just the day before yesterday he had tormented her so thoroughly, as if wanting to die upon her, and then after waking up he changed his face and wanted a divorce?

And he even brought this matter before her father, mother, and brother, making her lose face!

Lin Xunen pondered for a moment before asking seriously, “He really didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Chen Yuying said, “That day when you were critically ill, your father, your brother, and I made a difficult decision and discussed divorce with Young Master Xie. We noticed he seemed unwilling, but this matter… ultimately, we instructed him to wait until you recovered before telling you. So today when you returned, we assumed you two had already discussed it.”

“Discussed?” Lin Shengshen knew nothing about this.

She had been kept in the dark for so long.

Suddenly everything became clear. No wonder Xie Zhizhou had been so despondent during her recovery over the past half month, staying up every night watching her by her bedside, repeatedly tracing her eyebrows and facial features with his fingers. No wonder he had acted so wildly that night—he had been secretly saying goodbye!

Lin Shengshen was momentarily speechless.

Seeing how proactive Xie Zhizhou had been recently, she had thought he was quite confident in matters of love. She never expected him to be so hesitant and insecure.

She inexplicably felt like laughing, though she couldn’t hear Xie Zhizhou’s inner thoughts—otherwise, these past few days would have provided quite a spectacle.

Inner thoughts… Lin Shengshen froze. Over the past few days, she had freely indulged in many intimate thoughts about Xie Zhizhou, along with some plans for their future. Had he not heard any of it? If he had heard, why would he be so distressed?

Or perhaps… he couldn’t hear them anymore?

Suddenly recalling all those nonsensical questions Xie Zhizhou had been asking her lately.

He had asked Lin Shengshen if she liked him, asked if they could still watch pear blossoms together next year…

A complex expression crossed Lin Shengshen’s face. “What did he say to you all?”

Lin Xunen sneered, “What could he say? Just that your injury was his fault, that you two would definitely be fine in the future. But what use are such words? Anyway, what matters is that you’re back now. From now on, our Lin family and the Xie family should make a clean break!”

Chen Yuying remained silent.

Lin Shengshen pressed her lips together. “The injury wasn’t his fault. If he hadn’t responded quickly, I might never have seen Father, Mother, or Brother again.”

Lin Xunen said nothing. He knew this, but his sister had suffered plenty of grievances under Xie Zhizhou’s care. With so many incidents piling up, it was hard to explain everything clearly. Regardless, Xie Zhizhou couldn’t escape blame for failing to protect Shengshen.

Chen Yuying spoke up at the right moment: “Shengshen, now that you know everything, what are your thoughts?”

As soon as she finished speaking, several pairs of eyes in the room turned to look at her.

Lin Shengshen lowered her gaze and thought for a moment. “He and I… after all…” Was it because of the Prince Su incident that they couldn’t separate? Or because of the Lin residence?

Stop deceiving yourself. Neither.

“After all, we’re husband and wife… I keep thinking of giving him one more chance.”

The room fell silent for a long while before Lin Xunen said, “Shengshen, a broken mirror can’t be made whole, you…”

Chen Yuying smiled gently. “Shengshen’s affairs are naturally for her to decide.”

Lin Zhiping said sternly, “I’ll only say this: before, when you were devoted to him alone and suffered all those grievances, I didn’t say anything. But now that you both have feelings for each other, if he makes you suffer again, don’t blame me for taking this to His Majesty to dissolve your marriage. Whether you agree or not, you must come home and completely sever ties with the Xie family.”

A warm current surged in Lin Shengshen’s heart. She nodded and said, “Your daughter is no longer the pushover she used to be.”

As they were speaking, several nannies rushed into the courtyard in panic to report, “Master! Madam! The Xie residence has somehow ordered carriages to return all of the young lady’s belongings!”

The maids and nannies in the courtyard didn’t dare to breathe loudly. What did this mean? Were they planning to divorce the young lady? Earlier, many people had gathered at the side gate, all saying that the Xie and Lin families were finally breaking ties. Probably within half a day, the entire Yun Capital would know!

Lin Shengshen: “…”

She was so angry she almost laughed. Fine! If he wanted a divorce so badly, then she’d let him stew for a while!

Xie Zhizhou had deliberately only sent back Lin Shengshen’s favorite dresses and hairpins, without returning the dowry.

By taking this first step, His Majesty wouldn’t blame the Lin family when the matter came before him.

He still held onto hope that when the elders of both families met to discuss the dowry, he might get to see Lin Shengshen again.

Xie Changxing was pacing anxiously. “How could you make such a decision about your marriage on your own! The Lin family now… Ah! How can you break off a marriage just like that!”

Xie Zhizhou’s face was gloomy. It was as if overnight, his spirit had been crushed and his patience worn away.

“The Lin family is upright and honorable, while the Xie family is stagnant and decaying. We were never well-matched to begin with. Father has been obsessed with the Lin family’s influence while speaking disrespectfully about the Lin daughter in our home. It’s truly laughable.”

Xie Changxing was so angry his beard bristled, feeling dizzy and disoriented.

Xie Zhizhou said coldly, “The uncles in Dingzhou have been missing Father for a long time. Since Father isn’t happy in Yun Capital, perhaps he should go to Dingzhou to recuperate for a while.”

Xie Changxing nearly spat blood. “You unfilial son! How dare you try to drive me away?!”

Xie Zhizhou looked at him with a faint, mocking smile. “Forget it. In a few days, there will be something to open your eyes, Father. You can decide then whether to go to Dingzhou or not.”

Xie Changxing was left unsettled by these words, cursing his son as unfilial and disobedient.

Xie Zhizhou left with his hands behind his back, passing through pavilions and towers, crossing flower beds and small bridges until he returned to Tangli Residence. The place remained the same, but everything felt desolate and empty.

Sitting back in his armchair, countless images of Lin Shengshen flashed through his mind: her leaning back in the rocking chair reading, her feet swaying gently; sitting before the mirror combing her hair, her dark, thick locks exuding a subtle fragrance; bent over the desk writing and sketching, her mind filled with formulas for Scented Pills, yet still feeling it wasn’t enough; sitting by the window with her sleeves gathered, skillfully making incense, sometimes murmuring to herself…

So many memories…

His heart ached with bitterness. He brushed his fingers over the sleeping robe in his hand—the fabric soft and delicate, carrying a faint scent. He pressed the tea-white, torn sleeping robe against his chest. This was what she had worn that night in the study.

Back then, Peilan had wanted to throw it away, but he had claimed he would handle it himself and secretly kept it.

A voice came from outside the door: “Young Master, the items have been delivered. The Lin family opened the side gate to receive them. Shortly after, a maid came out and said… she said…”

“She said their young lady mentioned, ‘Thank you for your consideration, Young Master, but the Heart Lock Pendant from the dressing case seems to be missing. Perhaps it was left behind. Could you…'”

Before she could finish, the sound of a teacup shattering came from inside the room, followed by a muffled groan—

“Young Master! You’re coughing up blood!”