After Rebirth, My Aloof Husband Can Hear My Inner Thoughts [Transmigration & Rebirth] - Chapter 44

“Share the bed?!”

Lin Shengshen’s voice exploded inside the carriage.

“Absolutely not! Don’t think I don’t know what you’re scheming.”

Xie Zhizhou asked, “What am I scheming?”

Lin Shengshen glared at him. “You… you clearly want to…”

Shameless scoundrel.

Her mind suddenly flashed back to the scene beneath the bed at the Drunken Qiong Pavilion that day—so scorching, how he had pressed against her back then…

What if Xie Zhizhou doesn’t sleep at night and keeps pressing against me, burning me?

Xie Zhizhou, who had only intended to tease Lin Shengshen, suddenly stiffened.

He quickly averted his gaze from her face.

The once composed and confident Xie Zhizhou, who had seemed to have everything under control, now appeared somewhat flustered.

Lin Shengshen noticed and said with a smile, “What’s wrong, Lord Xie? If I recall correctly, you were once the epitome of restraint, looking down on all matters of intimacy between men and women. Even when we consummated our marriage, you came with a temper. What’s happened to you now?”

Xie Zhizhou cleared his throat lightly, his expression turning serious. “Shengshen, on your birthday, I did come in a fit of anger. It was only because this marriage was never my wish. I originally intended to keep my distance, waiting for you to shift your affections so we could part ways amicably.”

“But many things happened after we married, leading me to misunderstand you. That day… I was wrong. I failed to distinguish right from wrong and hurt you as a matter of course.”

“The mistakes of the past are already made, and I have no chance to make amends for them. But now—”

“Why bring this up? I stopped caring long ago.” Lin Shengshen waved her hand dismissively, offering a faint smile as she turned away. Her delicate, jade-like fingers lifted the carriage curtain slightly, and she focused on watching the bustling crowds outside.

Xie Zhizhou’s unfinished words stuck in his throat. To continue might annoy her, yet swallowing them felt unbearable.

So near yet so far—perhaps this was the perfect description of their current situation.

Some people, separated by vast distances, could share their feelings and longing simply by gazing at the same moon. Others, though physically close, had hearts as distant as clouds and trees.

The wound in his chest began throbbing intensely. Xie Zhizhou frowned slightly, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He reached out, wanting to grasp Lin Shengshen’s hand, but after a moment’s hesitation, withdrew it.

Despite countless reasons, he still felt he owed her.

By the time they reached the Lin residence, dusk had just fallen. A servant had already reported the day’s events to Chen Yuying, so she knew early on that Xie Zhizhou would be coming.

Though unsure what had transpired between her daughter and this son-in-law, or exactly where they stood now, Chen Yuying had prepared for both possibilities.

“Young Master Xie, it’s so thoughtful of you to accompany Shengshen back so late.”

Xie Zhizhou bowed. “I’m not just seeing her home—I’ve come to stay with her.”

Chen Yuying glanced between Lin Shengshen and Xie Zhizhou, catching a meaningful look from her daughter.

She smiled. “You must be quite busy these days. The Lin residence isn’t as close to the palace as yours. If it’s inconvenient, perhaps you should return to your own home tonight.”

As she spoke, her eyes fell on the wound on Xie Zhizhou’s chest, recalling how Lin Shengshen had returned covered in blood a few days earlier. A startling suspicion crossed her mind.

Had her daughter stabbed the Xie family’s young master?

Maintaining her composure, she asked, “That injury of yours…”

Xie Zhizhou coughed lightly. “There was an assassin at my residence a few days ago. I regret that Shengshen was frightened because of it. Please don’t worry, Mother-in-law—I’ve resolved the matter. But I feel truly remorseful and wish to spend time with her.”

[I never realized before what a skilled liar Xie Zhizhou is.]

Xie Zhizhou coughed again and looked at Lin Shengshen. “Shengshen, my wound has reopened. Could you help me change the dressing in our room?”

He then glanced toward the Shuying Pavilion.

Chen Yuying quickly interjected, “Young Master Xie, with your injury, it might be inconvenient for you to share a room with Shengshen. Don’t worry—I’ve already had a fine guest room prepared for you. The Arhat Bed there is spacious, perfect for your recovery.”

“Yun’an, please escort Young Master Xie and ensure he settles in comfortably.” As if fearing he might refuse, Chen Yuying promptly sent her attendant to lead the way.

Feeling the person beside her stiffen, Lin Shengshen nearly laughed aloud.

[Xie Zhizhou, oh Xie Zhizhou—so you’ve finally met your match!]

Xie Zhizhou expressed his thanks: “Thank you, Mother-in-law.”

He then followed Yun’an, but before leaving, he looked back at Lin Shengshen.

His gaze held a trace of resentment.

Once the two had gone some distance, Chen Yuying pulled Lin Shengshen aside. “What exactly is going on? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but you must at least give me some idea of what you plan to do next.”

Lin Shengshen replied, “Mother, you’ve always been the best to me. When I’ve figured things out, I’ll naturally tell you everything. As for now… if he wants to stay at the Lin residence, let him. Eventually, His Majesty will surely see this marriage as a great success and be delighted—which benefits us all.”

Chen Yuying shot her a reproachful glance. “Well, as long as you know what you’re doing. Get some rest early. Today I received an invitation from the Qi family, specifically requesting your presence at their residence to exchange insights on the art of incense.”

She added earnestly, “I know your skills are exceptional and your sense of smell is particularly keen, but there’s an old saying: ‘The loftiest peaks are most prone to erosion; the purest white is most easily stained.’ The same principle applies to possessing extraordinary talents—do you understand?”

Lin Shengshen smiled faintly. In her previous life, she wouldn’t have comprehended such wisdom, but now, tempered by life’s hardships, she understood it deeply.

“Mother, don’t worry. I’ve grown up.”

Hearing this, Chen Yuying felt an inexplicable pang of sorrow. She gazed at Lin Shengshen intently before sighing, “Very well, rest early.”

The heavy rain persisted for three consecutive days.

Aside from joining Lin Shengshen for lunch each day at Shuying Pavilion, Xie Zhizhou spent his time either at the imperial palace, attending to official duties, or secluded in the guest room arranged by Chen Yuying, immersed in books.

Their conversations occasionally touched upon court affairs, but beyond that, they spoke little.

On yet another rainy day, Lin Shengshen walked slowly beneath an umbrella toward the side gate, mentally preparing for her upcoming business affairs. Suddenly, she felt a weight on her shoulders—a cloak embroidered with pear blossoms had been draped over her.

She turned her head to see Xie Zhizhou, his face still pale. After placing the cloak on her, his sleeves and hem were damp with rain.

“Have you not been taking your medicine properly these days?”

Xie Zhizhou coughed lightly. “I have. Perhaps it’s due to the hectic official duties and constant travel lately, so I’m not recovering well.”

Lin Shengshen frowned. “Lord Xie, His Majesty holds you in high esteem, and the entire Xie family relies on you. You ought to take better care of your health.”

Xie Zhizhou’s lips curved into a faint smile. “I’ll take that as Shengshen showing concern for me.”

Lin Shengshen turned away. “Not at all.” Without looking back, she walked off.

—

In the dungeons of the Dali Temple, dim lanterns flickered along the dark corridor on both sides. The stench of decay and filth filled the air—this was where the most heinous death row prisoners were held.

Xie Zhenhuan covered her nose and mouth with a handkerchief, her voice muffled as she asked, “Brother, did he really say he wanted to see me?”

Xie Zhizhou nodded. “I initially didn’t want the two of you to meet, but after discussing it with your sister-in-law, we felt this matter should be left to your discretion. If you change your mind now, I’ll take you out.”

Mentioning Lin Shengshen, Xie Zhenhuan’s eyes lit up. “How are things between you and sister-in-law? When can I finally visit her?”

“Nothing much. Without my permission, you are not to disturb her.”

Xie Zhenhuan deflated instantly.

“We’re here. Go in by yourself, but don’t get too close. I’ll wait right outside the door. If anything urgent happens, call for me.”

Xie Zhenhuan nodded and stepped inside.

“Brother Wulin?” The figure before her was crisscrossed with bloody wounds, his disheveled appearance making it impossible to recognize his true features.

A scornful laugh escaped him. “Even now, you’re still willing to call me Brother Wulin.”

Tears welled in Xie Zhenhuan’s eyes. “You’re right. Brother Wulin vanished long ago. Now you are Xu Wulin.”

A long silence ensued.

Xie Zhenhuan asked, “You asked to see me one last time. What did you really want to say?”

Only then did Xu Wulin lift his head to look at her. Unlike before, his gaze was intense, as if trying to etch her likeness into his memory.

“Do you regret it?”

“No.”

Xu Wulin roared, struggling violently as his chains clanked loudly. “Why not? I never cared about you. I only humored your feelings out of regard for our childhood bond.”

Tears streamed down Xie Zhenhuan’s face, soaking her collar. “No, others may not understand you, but I do.”

“Young and with your family in ruins, your father wrongfully died in prison, your mother suffered a long illness and died in agony. You harbor hatred, resentment, and unwillingness in your heart. You treat me with alternating coldness and warmth, watching me sink into love, coldly observing me throw myself into the fire like a moth—all to satisfy your insecure and sensitive heart.”

“You dare not love, yet you crave it. Every time you see me revolving around you, you feel pleased. What does poverty and downfall matter when a noble maiden is infatuated with you?”

By the end, Xie Zhenhuan had stopped crying.

She had lost her mother at a young age and was frail and sickly, growing up in the Xie residence where everyone had their own hidden agendas. It was only after Lin Shengshen showed her some warmth a few years ago that she suddenly understood Xu Wulin’s feelings.

Inferiority, thus craving affection yet daring not indulge; fear of loss, thus remaining vigilant at all times.

She had even resented why her brother did not love Lin Shengshen.

She had also wondered in the depths of night whether Lin Shengshen was kind to her only for her brother’s sake.

She had tried befriending other young ladies to prove that Lin Shengshen was not her only close friend, and she had used her brother as leverage to extract more warmth from Lin Shengshen.

These nonsensical and subtly manipulative tactics were all tests born of her sensitive and suspicious nature.

But she was different from Xu Wulin—Xu Wulin’s heart had long been hardened and calloused by the world’s trials, while she remained soft.

Xu Wulin was first stunned, then gritted his teeth, “Since you know, why do you still foolishly throw yourself at me?” You fool!“

Xie Zhenhuan wiped away her tears and smiled, “Because I pity you.“

“I crave but do not possess, fear loss but do not harm. I thought you were the same as me, so I waited patiently for you. But I was wrong—your heart has long rotted!“

Xie Zhizhou frowned outside the door. Craving what? Fear of losing what?

Xu Wulin let out a strange laugh from his throat, “You think you’re so noble?“All of you put on this facade of harmony, pretending to respect the worthy and elevate the talented, but in reality, you’re just offering me scraps!”

“And after feeding me, you expect me to kowtow in gratitude! Ridiculous! Ridiculous!”

Xie Zhenhuan angrily retorted, “General Lin has never had any conflict with you! You’re judging others by your own mean standards!”

Xu Wulin laughed maniacally, his laughter causing the wound on his chest to bleed profusely, “Fine, fine! He’s fooled all of you so completely!”

“If there truly was no conflict, why was I forbidden from making any noise when paying respects to my family? And why was I only given the lowly position of deputy general?”

Xie Zhenhuan wanted to say much more but suddenly stopped. What was the use? General Lin protected him, yet he grew suspicious; General Lin promoted him, yet he called it scraps.

Such a twisted and dark person could never be satisfied.

Xie Zhenhuan sneered, “Do you think Prince Su is sincere with you?”

Xu Wulin turned from his frenzied state and stared at Xie Zhenhuan.

“Does sincerity matter? When the Xu family fell from grace years ago, I rushed overnight from Yingzhou to the capital and begged at the Xie residence’s door. Go ask your dear father if he ever opened that door for me?”

Xie Zhenhuan knew of this incident, “But in the end, General Lin took you in, gave you food and shelter, and found you an official position.”

Xu Wulin laughed, “What use is that? He always overshadowed me, ensuring I would never rise above him. Saving me back then was just a casual act.”

“But Prince Su promised me that when the time comes, he will definitely clear my family’s name. All these years, which of you dared make me such a promise?”

Xie Zhenhuan shook her head. “Prince Su harbors wolfish ambitions. Allying with him is like making a pact with a tiger—it will never last.”

Xu Wulin lamented bitterly, “What a pity, I won’t live to see that day. But it’s just as well—as long as the Xu family’s name is cleared, even if I die, I will no longer be the descendant of a disgraced official!”

As he spoke, he turned to Xie Zhenhuan. “Zhenhuan, Ah Huan, your brother and your dear sister-in-law’s brother have both sided with the Crown Prince. They will meet a wretched end with no place to be buried.”

“You still care for me, don’t you? All these years, haven’t you dreamed of marrying me? Persuade your brother to release me. I’ll marry you and protect you…”

His words carried a touch of genuine emotion.

Xie Zhenhuan seemed bewitched, stepping forward slowly, her eyes shimmering with an indescribable emotion, like a pool of spring water.

The corners of Xu Wulin’s lips curled slowly. See? Just like a dog raised for years—even if you kick it away, it will still come crawling back with a mere crook of your finger.

Slap!

A sharp, vicious slap echoed through the prison. Xie Zhenhuan struck Xu Wulin so hard his face snapped to the side, then she swiftly retreated to her original position.

The spring-like tenderness in her eyes instantly turned to scorn.

“How dare you!” Xie Zhenhuan’s breathing grew ragged. “My sister-in-law was right—those years between us are nothing but a brief episode in my life. What makes you so confident I’d fall for your tricks?”

“I, Xie Zhenhuan, am not that cheap!” She was so furious she nearly spoke nonsense.

Xu Wulin went completely mad, thrashing and clawing with all his might, yet unable to break free from the chains. He screamed wildly, “Once the Noble Consort’s plan succeeds, you will all die!”

Walking along the long corridor, Xie Zhenhuan finally felt her soul return to her body. Somehow, she had mustered such strength earlier!

And spoken such filthy words!

It was truly unbelievable.

Her palm was red and swollen. She glanced at Xie Zhizhou timidly, afraid he would scold her.

Xie Zhizhou stopped and looked at her seriously. “You did well, Zhenhuan. Your sister-in-law was right—I had underestimated you before.”

Xie Zhenhuan gazed silently at her tall brother and suddenly felt that Xie Zhizhou was no longer the aloof, distant man buried in official duties. The brother who had carried her on his back to buy candied hawthorns in the streets during her childhood had returned—

It was her sister-in-law who brought him back.

For a moment, she didn’t know what to say. After hesitating, she finally spoke, “Brother, hurry and make up with sister-in-law. I’ll be waiting at home for your return.”

“Mm, go back safely.”

The night rain fell incessantly. Xie Zhizhou returned late in the evening, and before midnight, he summoned the house physician. The small courtyard bustled with activity—maids carrying basins of bloody water out and others rushing in with medicinal herbs, creating a noisy commotion.

Xie Zhizhou resided in the Golden Moon Pavilion, not far from her Sparse Shadows Pavilion. Soon, news reached her.

“Is it really that serious? She seemed fine during the day and had been well these past few days.”

Peilan lit a lamp. “I heard she overexerted herself today—first going to the prison, then entering the palace, and finally rushing to the Xie residence. That’s why…”

“Ah, miss, it’s raining outside.”

Lin Shengsheng draped an outer robe over her shoulders and watched the rain beating against the plantains outside the door, feeling somewhat unsettled.

Surely she hadn’t actually stabbed her to death?

When she thought about it, she and Xie Zhizhou didn’t have such deep-seated hatred…

“Peilan, bring an umbrella. Baidou, take that glass lantern. Let’s go to the Golden Moon Pavilion to check on her.”