After Provoking the Mad Beautiful Deity - Chapter 1

Dual Rest?

“Double rest?” Hongchen leaned lazily against a cloud-patterned pillow, her slender legs idly stirring the faint mist. Eternal luminous pearls hung from the pillars. She rose, the bells at her ankles chiming softly, her jade-like feet glowing with a pearly sheen. Looking down at the demon physician kneeling at the foot of the steps, she asked, “Does ‘double rest’ mean two people resting together?”

Incense smoke curled upward from the precious censer in the hall, rising like floating clouds. Her gaze was as clear as spring water. The demon physician bowed reverently. “It means dual cultivation.”

“Double rest?” Hongchen repeated, tilting her head thoughtfully. A few red flowers drifted up from the hem of her crimson robes, and she nudged them with her foot. “Can I just pick anyone?”

“No, no! Only an immortal of Phoenix lineage will do.” The demon physician shook his head in a fluster. “You’re severely injured and weakened. An ordinary person would only drain your demonic power through dual cultivation.”

Hongchen’s starry eyes widened, sparkling with innocence. “It’s just lying down together to rest. How could that drain my power?”

“Demon Sovereign, it’s not just lying down to rest. It’s, it’s intercourse.” The demon physician lowered his gaze, prostrating himself respectfully, not daring to look up.

Hongchen pondered for a moment before declaring seriously, “It’s just double rest. I’ll go to Phoenix Mountain, capture someone, and then consult you on how to have intercourse.”

With that, the girl nudged the red flowers at her feet. “How many immortals of Phoenix lineage are there on Phoenix Mountain?”

“Just one, High God Yanlai.” The demon physician knelt, but a swirl of red cloud passed before his eyes. Startled, he scrambled to his feet and shouted, “Demon Sovereign, come back! You’re injured you can’t defeat the High God!”

Phoenix Mountain was shrouded in ethereal mists, untouched by darkness, forever bathed in light. Immortal energy drifted through the air, and spiritual trees flourished, encircled by vibrant spiritual power.

Crossing through the night, Hongchen arrived at this perpetually illuminated realm, landing at the mountain’s base. The red flowers beneath her feet vanished as she slipped into the mountain without hesitation. Upon entering Phoenix Mountain, spiritual energy surged around her, and she paused. The red bracelet on her wrist glowed crimson, a warning of the potent immortal energy.

Hongchen sighed. She detested places thick with immortal energy; immortals were all hypocrites and frauds. With another sigh, she suppressed her demonic aura and tucked the bracelet into her robes to conceal it.

Once hidden, she ventured deeper into the mountain. After a few steps, a barrier blocked her path. She tried to step through, but a flash of light sent her flying backward.

Screw this act, Hongchen muttered under her breath, “Flowers, come.”

Red flowers gathered beneath her feet, forming a cloud that carried her instantly to the mountainside.

A gust of wind swept her onto the mountainside. She glanced around, spotting a few immortals meditating. As she drew closer, her bracelet began to glow again. Annoyed, she hissed, “Keep flashing, and I’ll grind you into powder for a face mask.”

No sooner had she spoken than the bracelet shot out, lunging toward the immortals. Hongchen quickly cast a spell to restrain it. “They’re just men. I’m not getting close, why are you panicking?”

With that, she snatched the bracelet and stuffed it back into her robes, bypassing the immortals as she headed deeper into the mountain.

Phoenix Mountain pulsed with immortal energy. Legend held that its master was the sole descendant of the Phoenix, born from the essence of heaven and earth. Wherever he trod, the mountain’s immortal energy flourished eternally, and many cultivators had ascended to immortality here.

Hongchen had little love for immortal realms, preferring her own demon palace. After all, immortals loved rules and she loved breaking them.

The palace stood majestic and imposing, shrouded in mist and clouds, with immortal cranes circling above its rooftops, exuding an aura of grandeur. Standing halfway up the mountain, she could see the palace roofs. She glanced upward, and the unruly bracelet in her bosom began thrashing about wildly again. She sighed helplessly and reminded it, “No men, no men, no men. What kind of male immortal did you encounter in your past life? You dislike immortal energy, you dislike men. If you keep this up, I’ll grind you into powder and use you as a face mask.”

The bracelet finally quieted down. Hongchen lifted her head and, avoiding the immortal attendants, made her way toward the palace.

Halfway up the mountain, she encountered another barrier. She stood still, observing the golden barrier of light, and raised her hand as if to shatter it. But in the end, she lowered her hand breaking it would easily draw attention. She paced in place for a moment, closed her eyes, formed a hand seal, and slipped through the barrier in a flash.

Once inside, she noticed that the immortal energy within the barrier was even more abundant. Puzzled, she wondered whether the barrier was meant to trap people or to prevent the immortal energy from leaking out. As she pondered, a group of immortal attendants appeared before her. After a brief moment of thought, she stepped forward and blended into their ranks.

With the group now larger, she stealthily struck the last attendant unconscious and casually tossed them to the side of the path, concealing them behind some trees.

Hongchen successfully squeezed into the procession and, lowering her voice, quietly asked the person in front of her, “Sister, where are we headed?”

“The High Deity is bathing today. Have you forgotten?”

“High Deity?” Hongchen couldn’t help but ask, “Which High Deity?” She wasn’t very familiar with the celestial realm, mainly because immortals kept dying. One High Deity would perish, and the next day, some celestial lord would endure a few lightning strikes and ascend to become a High Deity. With all the comings and goings, she had little time to keep track.

The one who had injured her this time was also a High Deity, rumored to be the foremost expert across the three realms. In the end, he had turned into a wisp of black smoke under her hands.

“There is only one High Deity on Phoenix Mountain. Have you lost your mind? High Deity Yanlai.”

Hongchen was taken aback and asked again, “Who is the High Deity of Phoenix Mountain?”

“Who are you? How can you not even know who the master of our mountain is.” Before the attendant could finish speaking, they dissolved into a puff of cloud and smoke. Hongchen silently muttered an apology, “Sorry, but you were the one who talked too much.”

And just like that, another person was gone. Hongchen felt a headache coming on. Glancing at the dozen or so people in the procession, she conjured a wooden puppet and commanded, “Follow along.”

The group of twelve moved in an orderly formation, their robes fluttering gracefully. As they walked, their wide sleeves billowed in the wind. The mountain was dotted with numerous palaces, spread evenly from east to north like stars in the sky.

From the outside, the dozen or so palaces looked almost identical. Even the tiles on the eaves were arranged in the same pattern, if one tile was missing a corner, the same tile on every other palace would also be missing a corner.

Does the master of these palaces have some sort of issue? Hongchen wondered to herself as she followed the attendants toward the easternmost palace. She stole a few glances and quietly asked the attendant in front of her, “Is the Phoenix Goddess coming to bathe?”

“Yes, hurry up and be quick. Set everything up promptly.”

Once again, Hongchen was inexplicably scolded. Frowning in displeasure, she thought, Being a lowly attendant is truly humiliating everyone feels entitled to berate you.

The sound of trickling spring water reached her ears. Looking ahead, she saw a bathing pool made of white jade, so vast she couldn’t see its end. The water’s surface shimmered with a crystalline glow. She took one look and thought, Well, well, the water for bathing is quite the treasure.

Everything on Phoenix Mountain was of the finest quality, no wonder it had produced a High Deity. Nodding to herself, she remembered her real mission: to capture a High Deity and take them back for dual cultivation.

After the immortal attendants entered the hall, they dispersed to attend to their tasks, all except the last wooden puppet, which followed Hongchen with eager obedience. Hongchen looked at the water, and it looked at the water; Hongchen gazed at the sky, and it gazed at the sky. The head attendant came over to scold it, “Why are you following her?”

Hongchen was deeply displeased and immediately cursed, “As expected, none of these immortals are any good.” She formed a hand seal and muttered under her breath, “Go to hell.”

The head attendant dissolved into a wisp of white smoke.

Damn it, another one gone. Hongchen rubbed her forehead. Killing was easy, but finding replacements was hard.

What a hassle. With a wave of her hand, she cast a spell on the remaining attendants, transforming them into spiritual trees and planting them in the soil to be nourished by the earth, so that one day their cultivation would advance by leaps and bounds.

Excellent, excellent.

Now the entire hall was empty except for Hongchen. Cleaning was out of the question. She casually stripped off her clothes and leaped into the pool. Immortal energy swirled around her head, and the bracelet she had tossed on the ground began to hop about as if its backside were on fire. She grabbed the bracelet and submerged it along with herself in the water.

Hongchen grew drowsy from the warm water and couldn’t resist dozing off. The moment she closed her eyes, the bracelet shot out of the water, jolting her awake.

She snatched her clothes from the bank and leaped out of the water. At the entrance, a woman in white robes approached from afar, ethereal and graceful, her presence suffused with immortal energy.

Droplets of moisture in the air condensed into spheres of water, which suddenly shot toward Hongchen. She dodged, leaping atop the water droplets as red flowers bloomed beneath her feet.

“The Demon Lord is in high spirits, to have the leisure to visit my Phoenix Mountain,” the woman said, standing with her hands behind her back, enveloped in a mist of water vapor. Her neck was held high, and her cold, elegant eyes reflected a flicker of flame. Her demeanor was aloof and pristine, untouched by worldly dust.

“Your Phoenix Mountain? And who are you?” Hongchen flew to a spot five steps away from her, examining her leisurely. The bracelet on her wrist suddenly began to tremble violently. Annoyed, she snapped, “Open your eyes wide, damn it. This is a woman, not a man.”

The woman before her was incomparably cold and elegant. Though there was fire in her eyes, it held no warmth. Hongchen took a step forward, and Yanlai retreated a step. “Demon Lord.”

“Who are you?” A faint light glowed at Hongchen’s fingertips as she lifted her head gently. The light fell upon Yanlai’s face and quickly returned to her own brow. She had discerned the woman’s origins. A sudden realization dawned on her, and she said, “So you are the immortal of Phoenix Root.”

Though Phoenix Mountain was located within the immortal realm, it transcended it and was not under its control. Thousands of years ago, the Heavenly Emperor had sought Yanlai as the crown princess for his eldest son, uniting the immortal realm and Phoenix Mountain as one.

With the wedding date approaching, the immortal energy on Phoenix Mountain had greatly increased, often attracting cultivators to seek enlightenment there.

Hongchen stared at Yanlai, and Yanlai, in turn, studied the girl. With a flick of her sleeve, she dispelled the other’s disguise, revealing a crimson robe. The girl’s features were striking, her face exquisitely refined. One look into her eyes evoked the image of the red spider lilies of the underworld, blooming wildly and passionately.

Her eyes were dark and distinct, her skin exceptionally pale a stark, breathtaking contrast of beauty. Petals swirled around her, red as fire, elevating the girl’s allure to its peak.

Yanlai’s nose twitched slightly, as if catching a whiff of an intoxicating fragrance. “I am Yanlai, the master of this place.”

Hongchen looked at her and blurted out, “Shall we dual-rest?”

“Dual-cultivate?” Yanlai frowned, a flicker of light dancing in the moonlit water.