After Pretending to be an Idiot, I Was Targeted by the Cold-Blooded Zhangyin - Chapter 32

Xie Changsheng gasped for air, trying to settle his breathing.

Xie Hemiao laughed at him. “If you knew it would be this tiring, why did you insist on crawling?”

Xie Changsheng countered with a question: “If you know you’ll be sleepy when you wake up, do you just stay in bed forever?”

Xie Hemiao: “…”

Xie Chengjing formed a fist and pressed it to his lips, coughing lightly several times. “Changsheng, how is your body feeling?”

Xie Changsheng nodded and added, “I received everything Big Brother and Second Brother sent.” He then shouted toward a figure not far away, “I also received the things Big Brother Fang Ling sent!”

Fang Ling was chatting with a friend. Hearing Xie Changsheng’s voice, he turned to glance at him and gave a slight nod.

Xie Chengjing and Xie Hemiao exchanged a glance. It wasn’t because they had both sent gifts to Xie Changsheng. It was because they realized neither had been able to personally visit the boy during his illness.

It wasn’t that they didn’t want to, but that they couldn’t.

For some reason—perhaps a sudden whim—Gu Feiyi had stayed at Yuling Palace for several nights in a row. Not only that, but he had also blocked all visitors for Xie Changsheng, insisting he recover in peace. Because of this, many ministers were whispering that it looked as if the Palm Print intended to support the “mad Little Highness” to the throne.

Xie Chengjing and Xie Hemiao had naturally heard these rumors. Regardless of whether they were true or false, they didn’t know what expression to make. The three of them had been on bad terms since childhood, and these past days were arguably their most intimate. Meeting without fighting, but instead talking and laughing—it was a rare and wonderful feeling.

Yet that position, that Dragon Throne, was like a heavy blade hanging over their heads. There was no telling when it might drop. Fortunately, while the Old Emperor’s body had been hollowed out by wine and women, it hadn’t completely collapsed yet. Perhaps there was still much time left for the three of them.

Pulling his thoughts back, Xie Hemiao smiled and tapped the top of Xie Changsheng’s head with his pipe. Looking at the boy’s clouded eyes and dazed expression, he couldn’t help but say, “They say great wisdom looks like folly, but in my view, a ‘great fool’ who looks like a wit like you is the happiest of all.”

Xie Changsheng, feeling light as air from the praise, puffed out his chest and tried to be modest in the way he’d seen others do: “You flatter me, you flatter me. Second Brother is the one who is a ‘great wit-less’.” (A play on the word for ‘Retard’ in Chinese).

Xie Hemiao: “…”

Xie Chengjing covered his mouth with his fist and turned away, his shoulders shaking. It was impossible to tell if he was coughing or stifling a laugh.

After chatting a bit more, Xie Changsheng dragged them into a game of “Red Light, Green Light.” He took advantage of the moment they were frozen in place to slip away first.

When he returned to Yuling Palace, Xie Changsheng saw that Gu Feiyi had arrived at some point. He was sitting at the table, playing with a pinwheel.

Seeing Xie Changsheng return, he handed the pinwheel to him. “Do you like it?”

Xie Changsheng waved the pinwheel in the air, staring unblinkingly at the spinning blades. He used his actions to tell Gu Feiyi that he liked it very much.

Suddenly, Gu Feiyi reached out and took the pinwheel back. Xie Changsheng looked at him with dissatisfaction, but Gu Feiyi simply tapped the pinwheel against the boy’s face twice. “So filthy. Go wash up immediately.”

Xie Changsheng suddenly had an urge to wipe all the dust on his hands onto Gu Feiyi’s face. Of course, it was just a thought.

After Yang Luo brought hot water, Gu Feiyi washed Xie Changsheng’s hair as usual. As he meticulously massaged the hair, he heard Xie Changsheng call his name: “Gu Feiyi.”

“What is it?”

“Are you sleeping here tonight too?”

Gu Feiyi detected a subtle hint of an “eviction notice” in those words. He spread his fingers and slid them into Xie Changsheng’s thick hair, stroking gently. “Is that not allowed?”

Xie Changsheng said, “Cramped.”

Being cramped was secondary. The main thing was that he couldn’t sleep well. Having slept together for a few days, at most Gu Feiyi would hold him, and after falling asleep, they would separate—each taking half the bed. It didn’t really affect anything.

However, with someone beside him, Xie Changsheng never felt he could sleep soundly. He was very worried—what if he snored or talked in his sleep? Wouldn’t it all be heard? What if he slept so happily that he drooled?

Even a fool’s life is a life; even a fool has dignity.

Gu Feiyi, however, countered, “This servant is half a head taller than the Little Highness and hasn’t complained about the space. What does the Little Highness have to complain about?”

Xie Changsheng gave an “Mm.” “Human feelings are subjective. ‘Subjective’ refers to a person’s consciousness and spirit. You can’t understand my subjective feelings because you are you and I am me. You don’t feel cramped, but I do…”

Gu Feiyi: “…”

The moment Xie Changsheng started muttering those mysterious, metaphysical words, Gu Feiyi’s forehead began to throb. He pinched Xie Changsheng’s ear with a bit of force. “Quiet.”

Xie Changsheng pouted and shut his mouth, looking quite indignant.

Gu Feiyi lowered his gaze, his eyes lingering on Xie Changsheng’s ear. He still had hair cream on his hand, and the white, slick substance had left a mark on the tip of the ear. Gu Feiyi washed his hands, then went to wash Xie’s ear. He used his index and middle fingers to sandwich the thin ear, rubbing the cream off with his thumb.

The jade-like ear quickly turned red. Gu Feiyi found it novel and rubbed the earlobe, only for Xie Changsheng to tilt his head to dodge. “…It tickles.”

Gu Feiyi’s hand was suddenly empty. He looked at the ear and felt a strange sense of regret, letting out a light tsk.

That night, Gu Feiyi ignored Xie Changsheng’s protests and slept in Yuling Palace again. He lay beside Xie Changsheng, watching the boy huddle against the wall looking aggrieved, and couldn’t help but find it funny. He reached out with his long arm to pull the boy back, letting him pillow his arm. He stroked Xie’s smooth hair occasionally and soon fell asleep.

When he woke again, it wasn’t yet dawn. Xie Changsheng, who had been in his arms, was back to sleeping against the wall. The quilt had been kicked to the foot of the bed at some point. Because of the cold, Xie Changsheng was curled into a ball like a shrimp.

Gu Feiyi sighed in helplessness and spread the quilt back over him. Once covered, Xie Changsheng was like a crab that had found its shell; he immediately dove deep under the covers, even burying his head inside.

Gu Feiyi felt even more helpless. Sleeping with your head covered like that, can you even breathe? He felt that whenever he faced Xie Changsheng, there was an endless amount of worrying to do, yet he couldn’t bring himself to ignore it.

With a sigh, he reached out his arm and tucked the quilt down slightly, at least letting the boy’s nose be exposed. Gu Feiyi then habitually tucked the stray hairs behind Xie’s ear, but remembering something, his gaze fell on the ear again.

He reached out, catching the ear between two fingers and stroking it with his thumb. It felt cool, smooth, and thin to the touch. Gu Feiyi thought of the ears of cats and dogs; he wondered if they were better to touch than his little pet’s.

Feng Wang called to him softly from outside. Gu Feiyi answered and gave the earlobe one last rub. He was about to get up when he heard a soft moan from Xie Changsheng’s nose.

This sound wasn’t the sound of someone being disturbed from a dream. It was soft and hoarse, sounding more like…

Gu Feiyi arched an eyebrow. He lifted the quilt and, as expected, saw a slight bulge in the boy’s undergarments. Gu Feiyi expressionlessly covered him back up.

Leaving the inner chamber, Gu Feiyi didn’t rush to the Hall of Mental Cultivation. Instead, he used the washroom in Yuling Palace. He did a quick rinse and used a cotton towel to dry himself—head, face, chest, arms. When he reached between his legs, his movement paused for an instant.

It wasn’t for any other reason. He had long grown used to the “incomplete” state of his body and felt nothing about it. He was just thinking of Xie Changsheng. He had never been interested in matters of the bed; whenever he saw the Emperor with beauties, he only felt disgust. He even punished eunuchs and maids if he caught them in “companion-spouse” relationships.

Yet, seeing Xie Changsheng’s reaction, he hadn’t felt that revulsion. Instead, he found it interesting and felt like laughing. This was a new feeling.

He dried his body and put on his python robes. Leaving the washroom, he saw Feng Wang. The man, usually expressionless, now wore a slight smile.

Gu Feiyi understood. “Going to see the Ninth Princess later?”

“Yes,” Feng Wang touched his head, looking a bit embarrassed. “This servant got some small toys from the Western Regions and wants to give them to the Princess.”

Gu Feiyi acknowledged him with a nod.

When Xie Changsheng woke up, it was already noon. He ate a quick bite and went out to see the palace staff busy—the end of the year was approaching, and everyone was decorating the halls for the festivities. Xie Changsheng wanted to help, but after hanging two lanterns crookedly, everyone began urging him to go out and play.

Xie Changsheng: “…”

Feeling bad about adding to their workload, he wandered out. But he couldn’t sculpt mud anymore—this was a warm winter with only two small snowfalls that melted instantly, leaving no snow to play with, but the ground had frozen solid. Xie Changsheng’s already limited list of entertainment options had lost another item.

No matter; he was a master at finding his own fun. He visited the little princess he had held during the Hundred-Day Banquet, watched her sleep for a while, and then wandered aimlessly with his pinwheel.

As he walked, the surroundings grew increasingly desolate. He was about to reach the Cold Palace. Yang Luo stepped forward. “Little Highness, this place is unlucky. Shall we go back to the Imperial Garden?”

Just as she spoke, Xie Changsheng tilted his head strangely. He asked Yang Luo, “Do you hear something?”

Yang Luo jumped. Because of those words, cold sweat drenched her instantly. People said simpletons were more likely to encounter ghosts. She thought he had heard the sound of some vengeful soul. After a frantic prayer to every god she knew, she saw Xie Changsheng suddenly take a few steps forward.

Trembling with fear, she followed him behind a rockery and found the source of the noise—it was two people, their clothes half-removed, embracing behind a plum tree.

Once Yang Luo saw clearly, she hurried to cover Xie Changsheng’s eyes. “Little Highness, don’t look!” She then shouted, “Which palace are you from? To do such a filthy thing in broad daylight? Beware, I shall tell the Palm Print! You won’t escape punishment!”

The two were startled, hurriedly covered their faces, grabbed their clothes, and ran.

Xie Changsheng blinked, having only two questions. First: Is this the legendary ‘companion-spouse’ relationship? Second: It’s freezing out here, they’re outside, and they’re taking off clothes. Aren’t they cold?

Xie Changsheng then thought of something—Gu Feiyi was strict about this because he disliked such things. The Emperor was strict because he felt all women in the palace belonged to him. If this reached anyone’s ears, those two wouldn’t have a good ending. Xie Changsheng saw no need to break people up, so he blinked and told Yang Luo, “…Don’t tell anyone, heh heh.”

He didn’t expect the matter would reach Gu Feiyi’s ears anyway. That night, as Xie Changsheng was about to sleep, Gu Feiyi arrived. He removed his cold outer robe, sat Xie Changsheng on his lap, and asked while playing with his hair, “This servant heard that the Little Highness saw some ‘unclean’ things today?”

“Unclean?”

Gu Feiyi reminded him slowly, “The Cold Palace, the plum tree, the maid, and the eunuch.”

Xie Changsheng gave an “Oh.” “It was okay.”

Seeing Xie Changsheng looking so nonchalant, Gu Feiyi arched an eyebrow, a sudden urge to tease him rising. He reached out to pinch Xie’s earlobe and rubbed it slowly. “True, I suppose this matter really is nothing to the Little Highness. This servant suddenly recalled that when I woke up this morning, a certain part of the Little Highness was practically pressing against me. Truly full of youthful vigor.”

Xie Changsheng always needed a moment to process Gu Feiyi’s words. He tilted his head, and once he understood the meaning, he was instantly embarrassed. He turned red from head to toe. Struggling to maintain his dazed expression, he tried to stand up.

But Gu Feiyi applied force with his hands, refusing to let him rise. He laughed and pinched Xie Changsheng’s chin, a look of novelty on his face. “The Little Highness actually knows how to be shy?”

He leaned closer to Xie Changsheng. “By the way, this servant has something to say to you…”

Xie Changsheng looked at Gu Feiyi’s face getting closer and closer, and the image of the two people tangled by the plum tree flashed through his mind. His heart skipped a beat. What did Gu Feiyi want to say? He felt Gu’s hand sliding across his waist, and a very bad thought flashed through his mind.

Could it be…

He closed his eyes and steeled his heart. He shouted: “I don’t do ‘companion-spouse’ relationships!”

At the same time, Gu Feiyi said: “The Little Highness should recognize this servant as his ‘Godfather’.”