After Pretending to be an Idiot, I Was Targeted by the Cold-Blooded Zhangyin - Chapter 29

“No, no, no,” Gu Feiyi replied. “This servant is very busy. Where would I find the time to be petty with the Little Highness?”

As he spoke, Gu Feiyi tossed the cotton towel aside and reached out to pinch Xie Changsheng’s chin. After a pause, he added, “It’s just that a little pet who isn’t intimate with his master makes this servant feel a bit annoyed. I can’t help but wonder if there is any necessity for this servant to continue being your ‘Master’?”

Xie Changsheng was almost tied in knots by his logic. So, he decided to make Gu Feiyi’s head spin a little too.

He lifted his head slightly, leaned close to Gu Feiyi’s ear, and whispered: “My brother and I are running on a circular track. We start from the same point and run in opposite directions. We meet every 30 seconds. After twenty-five minutes, my brother catches up to me, having run twenty more laps than me. Find out how many laps I had run when my brother caught up to me.”

Gu Feiyi: “…”

Gu Feiyi stared at Xie Changsheng, no emotion visible in the depths of his eyes. However, the smile at the corners of his mouth grew increasingly icy.

His gaze fell on Xie Changsheng’s neck—that white, slender neck still looked slightly damp from the wiping earlier. Gu Feiyi suddenly had an urge to squeeze it just to scare the little pet. He also wanted to pick Xie Changsheng up and give him a few hard swats on the backside.

But before Gu Feiyi could take any action, Xie Changsheng took advantage of his distraction to stand up from under his palm. He took a step forward, coming right in front of Gu Feiyi. Then, he suddenly sat down on the man’s lap.

Perhaps he pulled at the injuries on his legs, because Xie Changsheng wobbled twice, nearly falling off. Gu Feiyi reached out to wrap his arms around Xie Changsheng’s waist.

Once Xie Changsheng was steady, Gu Feiyi gave a cold laugh. “What exactly is the Little Highness doing?”

Xie Changsheng didn’t answer; he likely hadn’t even heard the question. He was captivated by the ivory authority plaque hanging from Gu Feiyi’s waist and was busy tugging at it.

Gu Feiyi let out another light huff but didn’t press the matter. His hand began stroking Xie Changsheng’s back rhythmically. Xie Changsheng seemed to find it comfortable, and before long, he rested his pointed chin on Gu Feiyi’s shoulder.

Gu Feiyi scoffed. His right hand didn’t stop stroking the back, while his left hand picked up Xie Changsheng’s hand to turn the white jade ring on his middle finger. The ring had slipped down slightly, revealing a faint pink mark on the finger.

Gu Feiyi narrowed his eyes. Xie Changsheng suddenly began to speak.

“My leg scabbed over.” “I couldn’t help but pick it, and it bled.” “After a while, it scabbed again.” “I couldn’t help but pick it again.” “It bled again.” “After a while, it scabbed again.”

Xie Changsheng sighed with emotion: “Ah, the miraculous platelet.”

Gu Feiyi: “…”

The right hand stroking Xie’s back moved up, pressing firmly against the back of Xie Changsheng’s neck with a punishing force. “Close your mouth, Little Highness.”

Xie Changsheng went quiet again. Gu Feiyi felt the cozy warmth of Xie Changsheng’s body in his arms. He didn’t know if Xie Changsheng had sensed his displeasure and sat on him to coax him, or if it was just a sudden whim. Regardless, Xie Changsheng’s intimacy greatly soothed the irritable mood in Gu Feiyi’s heart.

Still pressing the back of Xie’s neck, he exhaled a breath of stagnant air from his chest and said with satisfaction: “Hah… little animal.”

The autumn hunt lasted for seven days. On the seventh day, the Old Emperor began to feel bored, missing the beauties he had left behind in the palace. Early in the morning, he flipped tables, smashed antiques, and struck several concubines and officials without saying why he was angry.

Gu Feiyi took one look and immediately had the carriages prepared. Only then did the Emperor’s clouds turn to sunshine. He said with satisfaction, “As expected, Feiyi understands me best.”

The hunting procession returned to the capital in a grand display. Just as they arrived, they received news from the Imperial Physicians: Lady Wang was pregnant.

The Emperor summoned Lady Wang and ordered her to lift her clothes and show her belly. He stared at her stomach for a long time, then suddenly burst into joy. “Feiyi, Feiyi! She craves sour foods, and her belly is pointed—perhaps it’s a prince this time!”

Gu Feiyi smiled and didn’t answer. Leaving the Hall of Mental Cultivation, he walked slowly, thinking slowly. It wasn’t until his thoughts were interrupted by Feng Wang.

“Master,” Feng Wang called out cautiously. “Didn’t you say we were going to the Eastern Depot today…”

Gu Feiyi snapped back to his senses and realized he had actually been walking toward Yuling Palace. He changed direction and, riding in his inconspicuous sedan, arrived at the Eastern Depot.

Sui Anxian had been waiting for him for a long time, respectfully offering tea and snacks. Gu Feiyi listened to his reports on the major and minor events in the capital and heard him mention unusual movements at the border. He lowered his eyes without answering. Sui Anxian knew Gu Feiyi already had his own considerations, so he smiled and changed the subject: “By the way, Palm Print, I heard Lady Wang is pregnant… If it’s a prince…”

Gu Feiyi said, “There will be no prince.”

The Old Emperor was obsessed with wine and women; his body was already an empty husk. He had to stay in bed for recovery every few days. There was no telling when he would pass away. The officials’ stances were already unstable; with three princes, several imperial lords, and several marquises each having their own supporters, the situation was volatile.

To prevent things from becoming too chaotic, Gu Feiyi had been secretly giving the Emperor contraceptives. The cup of wine he had Xie Changsheng give the Emperor during the Little Princess’s hundred-day banquet had been spiked with contraceptive powder. He hadn’t expected the man to succeed regardless.

Should I say the Emperor is exceptionally gifted? But it didn’t matter. Dealing with the child silently wouldn’t be difficult.

That said, Gu Feiyi’s heart leaned toward Xie Chengjing. The Crown Prince’s succession was legitimate, and more importantly, Xie Chengjing was weak-natured and easy to manipulate. However, many people felt that supporting a child emperor was also a good option.

Gu Feiyi was unwilling. What was the fun in raising a child?

Speaking of raising children, Xie Changsheng’s beautiful yet dazed face flashed before Gu Feiyi’s eyes. After finishing the secret meeting, Gu Feiyi told Feng Wang: “Tell him to wait for me at my place.”

Feng Wang froze, but quickly realized that the nameless “him” was Xie Changsheng. He acknowledged the order and sent word immediately.

Gu Feiyi didn’t rush back to the palace; he walked to the nearby long street. This street was always bustling, with vendors on both sides selling all sorts of things. Especially since it was near the end of the year, everyone was out shopping, and there was an abundance of novelty items.

Gu Feiyi didn’t intend to hide his identity. He was wearing his python robes and hadn’t even removed his authority plaque. The moment he appeared, the street went quiet. A street that stretched for miles didn’t produce a single sound of human conversation. Some children sensed the tense atmosphere and pouted, but before they could cry, their mouths were clamped shut by adults.

Gu Feiyi walked to a stall, picked up a pinwheel, and examined it for a moment. He squinted and smiled, then tossed a piece of silver to the vendor. The crowd didn’t dare look up at him, but doubts filled their minds: Why is the Palm Print here? Why would the Palm Print buy a pinwheel? Why does he seem to be in a good mood?

Only long after Gu Feiyi’s figure vanished did the street return to its bustling state.

On the way back, Gu Feiyi’s sedan was intercepted by a general named Hu. He cursed the carriage at the top of his lungs, calling him a “rootless eunuch playing with the state.”

Gu Feiyi propped his head on his hand as he read, listening for a while before smiling. “They say generals are coarse men with filthy mouths, but why is this so unoriginal?”

“Feng Wang,” Gu Feiyi lifted the curtain slightly and smiled. “Last time, fearing he would be scared, we just ran over him. Since he isn’t here today, let General Hu become just like this servant—the very ‘eunuch’ he looks down upon most.”

Dropping the curtain, Gu Feiyi picked up his scroll and continued reading with a smile. Before long, bone-shaking screams came from outside.

Because he was delayed by General Hu, it was dark by the time Gu Feiyi returned to his quarters. Upon return, he was told the Emperor wanted to see him. It turned out the Emperor had taken a fancy to an official’s daughter, but the official refused.

Gu Feiyi had seen the girl once during the Princess’s banquet; she was delicate, tiny, and very shy. Perhaps the Emperor had set his sights on her then. But how old was the child? Eleven? Twelve? She likely hadn’t even had her first period.

Gu Feiyi suppressed the contempt in his heart. “Your Majesty, Lady Wang is newly pregnant; you should spend more time with her.” He lowered his voice slightly. “Wait a while, then…”

How long? The Emperor’s affections came fast and went faster; in three days at most, he wouldn’t even remember the girl’s name or face. The Emperor didn’t realize Gu Feiyi was stalling and beamed. “As expected, Feiyi is best to me!”

By the time he finished dealing with these affairs and returned to his residence, it was deep into the night. He hadn’t forgotten he had summoned Xie Changsheng. But he didn’t know if his little pet was still waiting for him or if he had gone back to sleep because it was so late.

Furthermore, Gu Feiyi had an even worse suspicion—that Xie Changsheng had not only left but had left a pile of junk behind. If he really dared to leave those ugly mud men on his bed… Gu Feiyi gave a half-smile at the thought.

Feng Wang had accompanied him out today, so the person guarding the door was a young eunuch. Seeing Gu Feiyi return, the boy hurried forward. “Palm Print, the Little Highness… the Little Highness refused to leave…”

He seemed worried that Gu Feiyi would be angry seeing Xie Changsheng in his room and spent a long time explaining tremblingly. Gu Feiyi raised his hand to stop him and smiled. “This servant knows. Withdraw.”

He walked into the room and saw Xie Changsheng lying on his bed, fast asleep. Gu Feiyi always felt the bed was a private place. His bedding was hand-picked, soft and comfortable—his perfect place for recovery. Yet Xie Changsheng had slept in his bed twice now.

Gu Feiyi stepped forward, brushed the stray hairs from Xie Changsheng’s forehead, and lightly patted his face. “Little Highness, get up. Go back to Yuling Palace to sleep.”

Xie Changsheng didn’t wake. Not only did he not wake, he rolled over and slept sprawled out, facing the ceiling, and the quilt covering him slid down. Gu Feiyi stared for a long time, and thinking that the boy was sleepy because he had been waiting for him, he compromised and cursed softly: “…Little animal.”

He reached out and pulled the quilt back over Xie Changsheng’s lower abdomen.

Xie Changsheng woke up dizzily. As he opened his eyes, he was startled by Gu Feiyi’s face right in front of him.

Only then did he remember that he had been yawning while waiting for Gu Feiyi last night. Not daring to leave, he had kicked off his boots and lied on the bed under the terrified gaze of the young eunuch. He had intended to sleep for only ten minutes, but he ended up sleeping until now.

But it was normal. The phrase “I’ll sleep for ten more minutes” was ranked third on Xie Changsheng’s Unreliable Rankings. First and second were “I’ll sleep in ten minutes” and “I’ll play for just ten more minutes,” respectively.

He was thinking randomly and didn’t notice that Gu Feiyi had already woken up. Gu Feiyi watched Xie Changsheng staring blankly at the ceiling, arched an eyebrow, and said in a soft, sleepy voice: “What is the Little Highness thinking about?”

Xie Changsheng turned his head to look at him. “Thinking back, doesn’t the person who invented the unit of ‘minutes’ have any fault? What if ten minutes were actually ten hours? Wouldn’t everyone’s movements become faster? I know my ideas might not be reliable, but only through a love of experimentation do inventions happen. Einstein once said…”

Gu Feiyi: “…”

Gu Feiyi felt a headache, yet he found the way Xie Changsheng looked with his messy hair and nonsensical talk quite interesting. He instinctively grabbed Xie Changsheng’s hand and brought it to his lips, biting the fingertip with some force.

“Quiet.”