After Pretending to be an Idiot, I Was Targeted by the Cold-Blooded Zhangyin - Chapter 24

A few days later, the day for the autumn hunt departure arrived.

Princes, officials, and consorts gathered at the Daming Gate, forming a grand procession of over a hundred carriages. Facing the crowd of courtiers and concubines who had come to see them off, the Old Emperor showed only impatience. He hurled his wine cup into the face of a minister, then ducked back into his carriage, clutching a beautiful concubine.

The cup had been full when it was thrown, and wine splashed onto Gu Feiyi’s cuff. Gu Feiyi looked down, watching the wine stain spread across the fabric.

When he looked up again, that unreadable, faint smile remained on his face. “The auspicious hour has arrived. Let us set out.”

Xie Changsheng leaned against the window of his carriage, looking out. The autumn hunt procession stretched as far as the eye could see. Looking ahead, he could see the palanquins of the Emperor, Xie Chengjing, Xie Hemiao, and Gu Feiyi.

The Dragon Palanquin was incredibly luxurious, decorated with gold, silver, jade, and intricate carvings of dragons and phoenixes. Golden tassels hung from the four dragon heads at the corners of the roof, shimmering in the sunlight. The carriages for Xie Chengjing and Xie Hemiao, as well as Xie Changsheng’s own, each possessed their own brand of opulence.

Only Gu Feiyi’s carriage was a dark, muted blue, devoid of any extra decoration. Like a shadow, it followed beside the others. Yet, no one dared to ignore it.

Xie Changsheng turned his head again. Beside the carriage were guards mounted on tall horses, their faces stiff as they held back the commoners who wanted to watch the spectacle from a distance.

As he was staring out, a voice came from behind and to the side. “Spacing out again.”

Xie Changsheng turned back to see Fang Ling mounted on a tall white horse, looking at him with arched eyebrows.

Xie Changsheng waved enthusiastically. “Big Brother Fang Ling!”

Fang Ling spurred his horse forward, and Xie Changsheng felt a weight in his hand. Looking down, he found he was holding a pear.

Xie Changsheng asked, “For me?”

“Obviously.”

Xie Changsheng gave a silly grin. Suddenly remembering something, he reached back into the carriage, grabbed half an orange, and handed it to Fang Ling.

Fang Ling asked, “For me?”

Xie Changsheng nodded.

Fang Ling arched his brows, looking at Xie Changsheng with novelty. “I’ve realized you aren’t completely stupid. You at least know how to return a gift; you’re better than my younger brother, at least.”

He casually broke off a segment and ate it, but his face immediately twisted. “So sour!”

Xie Changsheng clapped his hands and laughed loudly.

Fang Ling: “…”

He let out a tsk, wanting to scold him. But he saw Xie Changsheng’s laughter suddenly vanish, replaced by a dazed expression.

The boy began muttering to himself: “I am a monkey… I am a monkey from Mount Emei…”

Fang Ling took a deep breath and swallowed his scolding. Forget it. Why bother arguing with a monkey? Just humor him.

Fang Ling turned his horse back toward the escorting party. A young lord named Lin, who was close to him, saw the orange in his hand and reached out. “Give me a segment.”

Fang Ling blocked him with his hand, the young general frowning. “If you want to eat, ask a maid yourself—this one is mine.”

Lord Lin arched an eyebrow and leaned closer to Fang Ling. “A-Ling, don’t tell me you’re planning on becoming friends with the Little Highness.”

“It’s not being friends.” After a long silence, Fang Ling answered in a low voice, “I just think he’s a fool. He’s quite pitiful.”

Meanwhile, the “pitiful fool” in question was currently bored out of his mind after eating and drinking his fill. However, Xie Changsheng didn’t know what to do to relieve this boredom.

If he went to play with Xie Chengjing, Xie Hemiao would be unhappy. If he went to play with Xie Hemiao, Xie Chengjing would be neglected. It was far too detrimental to brotherly harmony. As for the Old Emperor, going there would just mean watching a live porn show.

Perhaps he should just sleep. Sleeping to relieve boredom was the most efficient form of entertainment throughout history.

Just as Xie Changsheng slumped into his seat, he heard someone calling him from outside. It was the voice of Feng Wang, the eunuch beside Gu Feiyi. “Little Highness, the Lord Palm Print requests your presence.”

Xie Changsheng didn’t actually want to play with Gu Feiyi either. Gu Feiyi didn’t hurt people, but he was terrifying. Plus, his hobbies were too strange. But he couldn’t refuse Gu Feiyi’s command.

With a sigh, Xie Changsheng followed Feng Wang into Gu Feiyi’s palanquin.

Gu Feiyi was reading. He had changed his clothes; he was no longer wearing the wine-stained scarlet python robe from earlier, but a purple robe instead. The mysterious purple made Gu Feiyi’s intentions seem even more unfathomable.

Gu Feiyi leaned against the carriage wall, his left leg extended long and resting partially over his right—a relaxed and comfortable posture. Seeing Xie Changsheng arrive, Gu Feiyi retracted his leg slightly and sat up straighter.

Then, he patted his thigh. “Come here.”

Xie Changsheng: “No need, you’re far too polite. Why be so formal? We’re practically family. Thank you, I’ll just sit beside you.”

Gu Feiyi could tell Xie Changsheng was imitating the way people politely decline invitations. However, Xie Changsheng’s tone was flat and dazed, without any rise or fall, which only made it sound funny.

Gu Feiyi let out a light laugh. His gaze remained on his book, but his hand reached out and gripped Xie Changsheng’s wrist. With a forceful pull, he hauled Xie Changsheng in front of him and pressed him down onto his lap.

Xie Changsheng let out a helpless sigh in his heart. He sat between Gu Feiyi’s legs, waiting for him to feed him pastries or braid his hair as he had before.

But neither happened. Gu Feiyi simply wound Xie’s hair around his fingers unconsciously, his gaze drifting over Xie Changsheng’s shoulder as he continued to read. The brass ring was still on his hand; its crude craftsmanship looked quite mismatched with Gu Feiyi’s elegance.

Sitting in his embrace, Xie Changsheng began to mutter numbers. “Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine…”

Gu Feiyi’s attention was gradually drawn to the sound. His gaze moved from the book to Xie Changsheng’s face. “What is the Little Highness counting?”

Xie Changsheng grinned. “I’m counting how long it’ll take for your leg to go numb.”

Gu Feiyi: “…” I knew this fool wouldn’t be thinking of anything good.

Xie Changsheng asked him, “Why did you call me here? What do you actually want to do?”

Gu Feiyi arched an eyebrow, winding Xie’s hair around his finger. “Nothing.”

However, just like Xie Changsheng, Gu Feiyi also found the long carriage ride tedious. Thus, he had called his little pet to his side to hold him, stroke his hair, and pass the time.

Oh, and one more thing. He pinched Xie Changsheng’s chin until he saw a pained expression. “The pear the Young Marquis gave you—was it sweet?”

Xie Changsheng said, “I haven’t eaten it yet.”

Gu Feiyi smiled again. He pressed the back of Xie Changsheng’s head, making him rest it on his shoulder. With his right hand holding the book, his free left hand began tracing circles rhythmically up and down Xie Changsheng’s spine.

Xie Changsheng perhaps found it boring, or perhaps comfortable—or both. He rested his pointed chin on Gu’s shoulder, and his breathing gradually became steady. He actually fell into a doze.

It is said that cats and dogs never sleep in a place where they feel unsafe. Gu Feiyi felt even more delighted, changing the strokes on Xie Changsheng’s back to gentle pats.

Suddenly, a voice came from outside the carriage. It was the commander leading the hunt, gathering his subordinates to arrange a headcount. Xie Changsheng woke instantly, lifting his head enthusiastically to pull back the curtain and watch the commotion.

Gu Feiyi’s shoulder suddenly felt light. He let out a light tsk, feeling annoyed. He reached out and pressed Xie Changsheng back into his original position, then called out: “Feng Wang.”

Feng Wang’s voice immediately responded from outside: “Master.”

Gu Feiyi said, “Tell them to be quieter.”

“Yes.”

After a moment, the voices outside lowered. Gu Feiyi thought for a bit, took the scarlet python robe he had just changed out of, and draped it over Xie Changsheng. He gently patted Xie’s back. “Little Highness, go back to sleep.”

“I’m really annoyed by you people who don’t practice ‘scientific pet ownership’.” Xie Changsheng muttered through gritted teeth as a form of protest, but he still leaned back onto Gu Feiyi’s shoulder.

Gu Feiyi smiled and picked up Xie Changsheng’s right hand. He turned and rubbed the mutton-fat jade ring on the boy’s finger, thinking enthusiastically:

Next time… What should I feed this little pet? What kind of braid should I do? What else should I give him?

As night fell, the autumn hunt procession arrived at the first traveling palace. After being bored all day, the Old Emperor finally stopped to rest and immediately ordered a grand banquet. Beauties, wine, music, and dance—none were to be missed. The accompanying officials, princes, and princesses were also all required to attend.

Xie Changsheng sat beside the Emperor, with Xie Chengjing and Xie Hemiao beside him in order. Xie Changsheng focused entirely on eating the delicate snacks before him, but he heard Xie Chengjing sighing repeatedly.

“Big Brother,” Xie Changsheng looked at Xie Chengjing, his voice flat and dazed. “Every sigh you release right now releases carbon dioxide that will become the cornerstone of global warming hundreds of years from now.”

Xie Chengjing: “…” He asked, “What is that?”

Xie Changsheng said, “It’s very complicated. If you don’t know about polar bears and penguins, it’s hard for me to explain it to you.”

Xie Chengjing laughed. His laugh was gentle and tolerant, carrying a sense of “He’s just a fool, let it go.”

Xie Changsheng, however, became interested and insisted on telling Xie Chengjing stories. Xie Chengjing listened with a smile, though in reality, he didn’t understand a single word Xie Changsheng was saying. Just as he was feeling a bit at a loss, Xie Hemiao’s voice came from behind: “Little fool, what happens next?”

Having received a response, Xie Changsheng straightened up, his eyes sparkling as he looked at Xie Hemiao sitting behind Xie Chengjing. Xie Hemiao patted the space beside him and beckoned. “Come, little fool, sit by Second Brother and keep talking.”

Xie Changsheng obeyed, rising and sitting between the two of them. Xie Hemiao picked up his pipe, lit it, and took a puff, meeting the gaze of Xie Chengjing. He provocatively blew a cloud of smoke toward him.

Xie Chengjing coughed a few times but then smiled again. His smile remained gentle and tolerant. This time, it carried a sort of warm kindness.

The banquet continued into the middle of the night, yet the Emperor didn’t seem tired. He selected several concubines and dancing girls, ordering them to play music and dance together. At the exciting parts, he laughed and clapped loudly. “Good, good, good!” Or he would take wine into his own mouth and feed it to the beauties in his arms.

As it grew late, Xie Chengjing’s coughing became more frequent. Twice, Xie Changsheng saw spots of blood on the handkerchief he used to cover his mouth. Xie Hemiao also began to rub his right leg incessantly.

Xie Changsheng reached out to pull Xie Chengjing. “Big Brother, go rest.”

Xie Chengjing said, “I am fine.”

Xie Changsheng then reached out to tug on Xie Hemiao. “Second Brother, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep…”

Xie Changsheng used a fair amount of force, but Xie Hemiao didn’t budge. He remained in his seat, puffing on his pipe and smiling drunkenly. “Little fool, if you are sleepy, you go to sleep first.”

Xie Changsheng couldn’t move either of them. He pouted and sat back down.

Gu Feiyi had been staying on the other side of the Emperor. But everything happening on Xie Changsheng’s side fell into his eyes. He found it amusing.

Xie Chengjing was soft-natured and kind, unwilling to conflict with others; he didn’t even have the courage to leave the table early. As for Xie Hemiao, he had a physical disability; he clearly chose to drift with the tide and indulge in self-abandonment, yet he still refused to be looked down upon.

It was only a pity for his little pet, caught in the middle and feeling troubled. Fortunately, he was a considerate master.

Turning the brass ring on his finger twice, Gu Feiyi stepped forward. He raised his hand, and the music, singing, dancing, and laughter all stopped.

The Old Emperor climbed drunkenly off his concubine, about to fly into a rage, when he met Gu Feiyi’s eyes. Gu Feiyi leaned down, those beast-like eyes rippling with a smile. He said softly:

“Your Majesty, it is time to rest.”

The Emperor froze for a moment, then immediately nodded in agreement. “Feiyi is right. I am tired; it is time to rest.”

Before leaving the hall, Gu Feiyi cast one last look at Xie Changsheng. He told Feng Wang, “Keep that bunch of grapes I picked out earlier.”

There had been much rain in the West this year, and the grapes sent over weren’t very sweet. But the one he had tasted tonight was remarkably soft and sweet. Tomorrow, in the carriage, he would feed them to Xie Changsheng personally.