After Pretending to be an Idiot, I Was Targeted by the Cold-Blooded Zhangyin - Chapter 14

The Crown Prince’s estate was filled with an endless stream of visitors.

When they saw Xie Changsheng arrive and recalled the rumors of him becoming a simpleton, they all sized him up with curiosity while fearfully making way for him to visit first. It was as if Xie Changsheng were some sort of rare, exotic animal.

If I set up a stall here and charged admission, I could probably make a fortune in a single day, couldn’t I?

Shaking off these stray thoughts, Xie Changsheng began to move his arms up and down, up and down, in a stiff, mechanical rhythm. Like a bottle opener come to life, he grinned foolishly and said, “You first, you first.”

The officials and wealthy merchants with their goatees looked at Xie Changsheng in surprise. They thought to themselves: He really has gone mad. The previous arrogant, sharp-tongued version of him—who would whip people at the drop of a hat—was nowhere to be seen.

This was exactly the effect Xie Changsheng wanted. He committed even harder to the performance, talking to vases, gnawing on the armrest of a chair, and squatting in a corner to giggle at a wall.

The crowd watched, stunned.

After Xie Changsheng finished mumbling two made-up stories to two koi fish in a water vat, the people ahead finally finished their visit with Xie Chengjing. Led by a maid, Xie Changsheng made his way to the Crown Prince’s bedroom.

Just as he reached the door, he heard a fit of bone-shaking coughing. Stepping closer, he saw Xie Chengjing looking pale and leaning against the bed. The handkerchief he used to cover his mouth was dotted with small spots of blood.

Xie Changsheng stepped forward and patted Xie Chengjing’s back. After a long while, the Crown Prince finally calmed down. He looked at Xie Changsheng with a weak smile. “Changsheng, thank you.”

He added, “Did you eat before you came? …Cough, cough… Are you thirsty? I have some high-quality…”

Xie Changsheng sighed in his heart. Seeing so many guests and worrying so much while being this sick—how is he ever going to get better?

Xie Changsheng stepped forward, grabbed Xie Chengjing’s shoulders, and pushed him straight down onto his pillow. “Big Brother, sleep.”

“Changsheng?” Xie Chengjing tried to sit up. “Big Brother isn’t sleepy.”

Xie Changsheng’s eyes were blank, but his speech was rapid: “Big Brother, sleep. You have to sleep when you’re sick. If you don’t sleep, I’ll smash all your vases, tear all your clothes, and bite those two fish in the vat to death.”

Xie Chengjing: “…”

What kind of savage behavior is this?

Xie Chengjing let out a laugh, which immediately turned into another coughing fit. Once he managed to stop, he still wouldn’t give up. He struggled to rise again. “Changsheng, listen to me. All those people outside are waiting to see me. I…”

“Sick. Go night-night.”

Xie Changsheng was stubborn. “I’ll sing for Big Brother. Big Brother, sleep.” He began humming a lullaby.

Pressed down and unable to rise, Xie Chengjing looked at Xie Changsheng with a mix of amusement and helplessness. Finally, he sighed. “Changsheng…” Xie Chengjing said cautiously, “You… stop singing. Can’t I just sleep?”

Xie Changsheng: “…”

Is there a more roundabout way of telling someone their singing is terrible? My heart is broken.

Seeing that Xie Chengjing had truly closed his eyes, Xie Changsheng was finally satisfied. The Crown Prince was indeed exhausted; before long, his eyes were shut tight, and his breathing became steady.

Even though there was no one else in the room, Xie Changsheng didn’t dare lower his guard and kept up his act. He poked a few small holes in the gauze curtains surrounding the bed. Before leaving, he made sure to place two mud octopuses he had sculpted by Xie Chengjing’s pillow to serve as “guardian generals.”

Quietly slipping out of the room, Xie Changsheng said to the maids waiting at the door, “Big Brother is asleep.”

The maids looked at each other and said gratefully, “Thank you, Little Highness, for coaxing the Crown Prince to sleep.” Seeing their relieved expressions, it was clear they had spent a great deal of effort trying to get him to rest.

Xie Changsheng waved a hand. “Don’t mention it. Just remember my name is Lei Feng.”

By the time he returned to the palace, the sky was already dark. However, he hadn’t finished his daily routine yet. Xie Changsheng carried a lantern to the Imperial Garden and began his daily “mud sculpting.”

A kitten with three heads, an earthworm with nine heads, and a twisted, crooked skyscraper. When the mud figurines were dry, he tucked them into his robe, then held one up and chased a little eunuch around. “Steamed buns, four for a dollar! Heh heh!”

Xie Changsheng felt he was a prime example of the saying: “Ever since I became mentally ill, I’ve felt much more spirited.”

Just as he was getting tired and planning to head back to sleep, someone approached. It was Feng Wang, the eunuch by Gu Feiyi’s side. He walked straight up to Xie Changsheng. “The Lord Palm Print invites the Little Highness for a visit.”

Xie Changsheng let out a yawn. “Mm, I’m tired.”

Feng Wang’s attitude was firm. “If the Little Highness is tired, this servant can carry you. If you are sleepy, you may nap on my back.”

Xie Changsheng knew Gu Feiyi was determined to see him. He grinned and climbed onto Feng Wang’s back, suddenly asking, “Can I pull out your white hairs?”

“…You may.”

So Xie Changsheng reached out and plucked one. “Ah, wrong one. It’s black.” He reached out and plucked another. “Ah, wrong again. Black.”

“Heh heh heh, so black.”

Feng Wang: “…”

Yang Luo, standing to the side, was shaking from trying to suppress her laughter. Upon arriving at Gu Feiyi’s residence, she urged, “Little Highness, go in quickly. The Lord Palm Print has been waiting a long time.”

Xie Changsheng gave an “Oh” and handed the small clump of hair back to Feng Wang. Feng Wang accepted it in silence. Whether it was a trick of the light or not, Xie Changsheng thought he saw Feng Wang’s hand tremble slightly.

Watching Xie Changsheng’s back, the smile on Yang Luo’s face slowly faded. It went from a smile to a flat line, and finally, the corners of her mouth dipped into a bitter curve.

Lately, her heart had been on a roller coaster. From the moment Xie Changsheng fell into the water, she feared she would be executed; then came the worry over him becoming a fool; then the joy of realizing he had become much easier to talk to; then the terror of him defying the Emperor in public; and now…

Xie Changsheng had been targeted by the Palm Print.

Xie Changsheng had forgotten everything and everyone. But she hadn’t. Those cracking whips had landed squarely on Gu Feiyi’s back. Those insults had pierced Gu Feiyi’s ears. For a man as vengeful as the Palm Print to suddenly seek out Xie Changsheng… what else could it be for?

Revenge. To torment him. And if Xie Changsheng fell, what kind of life would remain for people like her? The more Yang Luo thought, the more bitter she felt. In her mind, she prayed to every deity from the East to the West. She didn’t ask for much—just for a beautiful corpse to be placed in the sandalwood coffin she had bought at a high price.

Inside, Xie Changsheng was blissfully unaware that his personal maid was already planning his funeral. He pushed the door open casually and saw Gu Feiyi sitting with his legs crossed, reading a book. He greeted him with the friendliest phrase he could think of:

“Have you eaten yet?”

Gu Feiyi looked up at Xie Changsheng. The moment he saw him, his elegant brows knit together.

…So filthy.

Xie Changsheng’s robe and boots were almost unrecognizable. His face, hands, neck, and hair were covered in mud spots. Dried bits of mud fell off him as he walked.

Gu Feiyi asked with loathing, “Did the Little Highness go rolling in the mud?”

He had intended to mock him, but the “idiot” didn’t understand sarcasm at all. Instead, he gave a dull smile: “Yeah! How did you know? You’re so smart!”

Gu Feiyi: “…”

The more Gu Feiyi looked at Xie Changsheng, the more his eyes hurt. He returned his gaze to his book and asked, “This servant heard the Little Highness visited the Crown Prince today.”

“Who is the Crown Prince?”

“…The Crown Prince, Xie Chengjing.”

“Oh, you mean Big Brother.” Xie Changsheng realized. “Yeah, Big Brother is sick, so I went to see him.”

Gu Feiyi curled his lips into a mocking smile. “Then, can the Little Highness tell this servant what he saw and heard at the Crown Prince’s estate today?”

Xie Changsheng understood—Oh, he’s fishing for intel. But then he thought, Maybe not. Gu Feiyi had eyes and ears everywhere; why would he ask a fool who couldn’t even speak clearly? Was this a “loyalty test”?

Since he wanted Gu Feiyi’s protection, Xie Changsheng didn’t dare hide anything. He chose to start from the very beginning.

“This morning, I woke up and ate a bowl of porridge.” “I was sunbathing when Yang Luo said Big Brother was sick.” “I said I wanted to see Big Brother. Yang Luo said no. I said I wanted to go. Yang Luo said no. I said I wanted to go. Yang Luo said no.”

Listening to this, Gu Feiyi’s brow twitched. “Little Highness,” he interrupted, “you can just start from when you arrived at the estate.”

“Oh, okay.” Xie Changsheng obeyed and continued: “I got to Big Brother’s house and waited outside for a bit.” “I looked to the left—there was an old man with a beard.” “I looked to the right—there was an old man with a beard.” “There were several men with long beards sitting on chairs.” “And at the door, there were several men with long beards standing there.”

Gu Feiyi pressed his fingers to his temple. But Xie Changsheng was just getting started—

“…Then I went inside.” “Big Brother was coughing the whole time.” “I saw Big Brother and was so happy. I said: ‘Big Brother, I’m here!'” “Big Brother said: ‘Cough, cough, cough, cough.‘” “I asked: ‘Big Brother, are you sick?'” “Big Brother said: ‘Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough!‘”

Gu Feiyi: “…” He applied more pressure to his temple, unconsciously beginning to massage it.

By the time Xie Changsheng finished rambling about coaxing Xie Chengjing to sleep and leaving two mud figurines named “A’Hua” and “A’Mei” as guardians by his pillow, Gu Feiyi finally cut him off.

“Enough. That will do.”

Xie Changsheng gave an “Oh.” “You don’t want me to keep talking? Can I go play then? I was called here before I was done playing.”

Gu Feiyi gave a slight nod.

Xie Changsheng turned around happily. But as he reached the door, he heard Gu Feiyi’s voice behind him again: “Little Highness, wait.”

Xie Changsheng’s heart skipped a beat. Why did Gu Feiyi change his mind? Did he do something wrong? Did he say the wrong thing? Unlikely—Gu Feiyi looked like his soul was leaving his body from listening to my nonsense.

Xie Changsheng turned back tentatively with a silly grin. “Huh? Calling me?”

Gu Feiyi’s gaze was like a cold snake, sliding from Xie Changsheng’s hair down to his ankles. It was a look of pure scrutiny, observation, and disgust. Xie Changsheng recalled the image of Gu Feiyi’s carriage crushing a man. Cold sweat broke out on his back. His mind was filled with terrible guesses. He feared Gu Feiyi would open his thin lips and say something like:

“A useless person should be sent on their way early.” “The weather is getting cold; let’s play ‘Family Elimination’ with the nine branches of the imperial clan.” “Little Highness, the maple leaves this year don’t seem red enough.”

Instead, Gu Feiyi brushed his sleeve and said:

“Little Highness, wash your face before you leave.”

Xie Changsheng let out a massive sigh of relief.

…Fine, it was just Gu Feiyi’s mysophobia acting up.