After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 62

The opening ceremony of the Flower Exhibition is scheduled for next weekend in the northern district, quite far from the main city area where Song Shizhou lives, so she needs to pack early to get there.

Xiao Zhao helps her pack the items from the studio her usual sketching pens, paintbrushes, carving knives, and various other tools spread across the table.

There seems to be too much to take, giving Song Shizhou a bit of a headache.

“I’ll be attending the Flower Exhibition in the northern district these next few days, so I’ll leave the shop to you.”

Since the boss is temporarily away, Xiao Zhao gets promoted to shop manager. To make it feel official, Song Shizhou even goes so far as to make her a manager’s badge.

After packing the studio items, it’s time to pack things from home.

Bai Ruowei sits in front of the suitcase, hugging her knees in silence, her face resting on them.

“After you come back from this trip, can we move to a bigger place?”

“I know you don’t like living in Snow Pavilion, and honestly, I’m not too fond of it either. But I want a house with a lawn so we can bring Xiao Bao over.”

Song Shizhou had also thought about moving. Just as she was about to say yes, Bai Ruowei interrupted her.

“The Flower Exhibition is the most prestigious event in the porcelain world, and it’s quite a formal occasion for the Inner City too, so I’ll also be invited to the opening ceremony.”

Song Shizhou crosses her arms.

“Bai Ruowei, what exactly are you trying to say?”

Those pale green eyes lower slightly, looking both coquettish and reluctant.

“I don’t want to be apart from you.”

She tugs at Song Shizhou’s arm, her curly long hair brushing against her waist.

Like a little animal unwilling to let its owner leave, Bai Ruowei nuzzles against her chest, the scent of night-blooming cereus making her eyes flush red. But soon, she deflates, resting her head on Song Shizhou’s shoulder.

“When will I finally become an Omega?”

A line that makes one’s heart race.

Song Shizhou grips her waist.

“Then you’ll have to work harder.”

Bai Ruowei pouts.

“I’ve been trying my best, it’s you who won’t create the right conditions.”

“The hotel you booked is in the northern district. Can I come see you every night?”

Song Shizhou chuckles lightly, twirling a strand of Bai Ruowei’s white hair.

“And what would you come for?”

For some reason, Bai Ruowei feels the urge to kiss her again.

“To work hard at becoming your Omega.”

Because of her porcelain work, Song Shizhou has a few calluses on her fingers, thin and barely noticeable, yet they carry a distinct weight when they graze skin, a soft roughness that seems to touch the soul.

Bai Ruowei’s gaze darkens, as if she wants to devour her.

“Shi Zhou, I want to take you somewhere.”

Song Shizhou pauses.

“Where?”

The place Miss Bai wants to take her is the largest indoor ski resort in the Inner City.

This place is actually quite familiar to Song Shizhou.

She remembers mentioning that she wanted to come here on a date with Miss Bai, but in their past life, Bai Ruowei was always too busy, so they never got the chance before the car accident.

Later, she only saw that photo of Bai Ruowei and Zhao Yiqing together here.

The atmosphere turns slightly awkward. She never expected Bai Ruowei to bring her here.

What’s this about? Song Shizhou raises an eyebrow, feeling as though Miss Bai is deliberately reopening old wounds.

The venue was enormous. The receptionist handed over an exquisite brochure, and Song Shizhou looked at the colorful pamphlet. The facility spanned nine hectares, with every bit of snow in the ski resort airlifted from frigid regions luxury to the extreme.

The ceiling of the venue was white, nearly ten meters high, and also white, making it almost dizzying to look at.

Song Shizhou changed into her ski suit, a thick, pitch-black one so thick that her figure momentarily appeared somewhat bulky.

Watching her cautious movements on the snow slope, Bai Ruowei couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

Perhaps visiting a ski resort with Song Shizhou had always been an obsession of hers.

Miss Bai wasn’t wearing gloves. Despite the sub-zero temperature on the slope, her fingertips remained warm.

In her past life, the time she had spent dating Song Shizhou had been pitifully scarce. On the day the ski resort opened, Song Shizhou had even mentioned wanting to come here for a date.

But back then, she had refused, citing work as the reason.

What had she been thinking at the time?

She thought there would always be another chance, no need to rush.

She had arrogantly assumed that she and Song Shizhou would have a long, wonderful life together, so there was no need to hurry or prioritize anything related to Song Shizhou. There would always be time to make up for it later.

And then she had met such a wretched end.

Perhaps this was the punishment for her arrogance and conceit.

The vast expanse of snow stretched endlessly before her eyes, a sight meant to relax and immerse. Yet Bai Ruowei’s heart felt heavy. The Inner City’s ski resort was a mecca for skiing enthusiasts. Today was a weekday, so the beginner’s slope was nearly empty, with the instructor teaching Song Shizhou some basic moves.

Professional ski resorts required registration of age and secondary gender. Since Bai Ruowei was still an Alpha, the instructor assumed they were just ordinary friends.

Song Shizhou was learning snowboarding. Because she had some prior experience, the instructor only guided her through simple warm-ups. The core of snowboarding lay in hip rotation, but perhaps due to her recent workload sitting for at least seven or eight hours a day her hips were stiff as a board.

Song Shizhou grumbled inwardly.

She and Bai Ruowei had been together for nearly half a month now. By all accounts, neither her waist nor her hips should be this stiff.

Bai Ruowei didn’t join in. She stood behind the barrier, gazing thoughtfully in Song Shizhou’s direction.

After a while of practice, her hips remained stubbornly uncooperative, and Song Shizhou even started cramping utterly unacceptable. It was a disgrace to her reputation as the Inner City’s top fierce Epsilon (as dubbed by Su Ziqing). She set her snowboard aside and trudged through the sticky snow, the boots crunching beneath her, as she slowly made her way toward Bai Ruowei.

Miss Bai handed her a bottle of water, then, after a moment’s thought, unscrewed the cap for her. Song Shizhou took a sip directly from her hand.

The ski instructor, a Beta, watched their natural interaction and couldn’t help but twitch an eyebrow. Were Alphas these days evolving into such mushy creatures?

A soft laugh brushed against Song Shizhou’s ear.

“Shi Zhou, did you see the instructor’s expression?”

“She thinks we’re just friends.”

Song Shizhou let out an “Oh.”

The next second, that person planted a kiss by her ear.

The slightly cool sensation made Song Shizhou shiver from the suddenness. The lips were a little cold, brushing against the most sensitive part of her ear, evoking a strange yet ambiguous feeling.

Song Shizhou let out a startled cry. She wanted to say, “What are you doing?” but Bai Ruowei pressed a finger to her lips.

“Shh, don’t let anyone notice.”

With that, she calmly released her and walked away as if nothing had happened.

Bai Ruowei put on her knee pads and wrist guards, pulled down her ski goggles, and tucked her long white hair under her snow cap. She raised a hand toward Song Shizhou.

“Shi Zhou, let me teach you.”

The instructor quickly fled the scene, leaving behind this pair of “good friends” with their peculiar atmosphere.

This wasn’t the first time Miss Bai had taken on the role of her teacher. She had taught her how to shoot before, but that experience was something neither of them wished to recall, a past both ambiguous and painful.

Now, both of their mindsets had changed somewhat.

The beginner’s slope was nearly empty. The instructor stood idly by the barrier, watching them. Bai Ruowei held her hand and skied alongside her for a while. Within minutes, Song Shizhou felt her hips aching unbearably.

She turned her skis sideways and came to an abrupt stop.

The two of them stood at the edge of the slope.

The ski goggles obscured Bai Ruowei’s expression, but the curve of her lips suggested she was smiling, a somewhat mischievous, teasing grin.

She crossed her arms, her tone playful.

“Your body’s so stiff, Shi Zhou. You need more practice.”

“Practice where?”

Song Shizhou pinched her waist.

Through the thick ski suit, it shouldn’t have reached her skin, yet Bai Ruowei still collapsed into her arms.

The dark goggles were pushed up to her forehead, a few strands of white bangs falling messily. The disheveled look suited her even more. Bai Ruowei stared at her blankly, as if gazing at her entire world.

Song Shizhou’s heart skipped a beat.

Bai Ruowei’s eyes seemed to shimmer with unshed tears.

“Shi Zhou.”

“What were you thinking when you saw those photos of me skiing with someone else?”

Song Shizhou froze.

She hadn’t expected her to bring up this topic.

How had she felt back then?

She couldn’t quite remember. She only recalled being in District 14 at the time, having just visited her grandmother’s grave. The cemetery was dilapidated, the headstone crumbling beyond recognition. Her mind had been preoccupied with finding a better resting place for her grandmother.

In her past life, Miss Bai had helped her relocate the grave. She had been immersed in gratitude until she received a message from Su Ziqing.

Attached were photos of Bai Ruowei skiing with Zhao Yiqing.

She couldn’t describe what she had felt.

Seeing the slight furrow in the other’s brows, Bai Ruowei felt a dull ache in her chest.

“Back then, I hadn’t recovered all my memories yet. I didn’t remember who you were.”

Perhaps taking Song Shizhou to the ski resort had also been one of Bai Ruowei’s obsessions. But she had many such peculiar fixations like eating every meal together, sleeping side by side, sharing the day’s events, and spending a lifetime with her.

Some were concrete, others abstract, but all were things Bai Ruowei longed to fulfill.

Every single one revolved around three words: Song Shi Zhou.

Regarding Bai Ruowei’s memory loss, Song Shizhou actually knew about it.

One could guess as much, because if Miss Bai had retained all her memories from the beginning, she wouldn’t have let her leave, nor would it have taken her so long to find her.

Song Shizhou paused, smoothing the furrowed brows of the person before her.

“It’s fine. It’s all in the past.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t even that upset. At the time, all my focus was on getting Grandma a new cemetery plot, so I didn’t really dwell on that photo.”

Bai Ruowei looked up at her.

“Really?”

Really?

The hand clutching the hem of her clothes tightened abruptly. Song Shizhou lowered her head.

“What does it matter whether it’s true or not? It’s already happened.”

Miss Bai lowered her gaze and didn’t press further.

From the neighboring ski run came the sound of slicing wind. Seeing that Miss Bai seemed like an experienced skier, the coach felt at ease and went off to rest. The beginner’s slope was nearly empty, and the two of them stood by the barrier, inconspicuous.

Bai Ruowei took off her gloves and grasped her hand.

The world seemed to grow still.

Because of the cold, Song Shizhou’s hands were chilly, but Bai Ruowei’s body temperature ran higher than most. She held her hand in her palm, silently, gradually transferring her warmth to her.

That warmth spread through her fingertips. Song Shizhou looked down, and from this angle, she could see Bai Ruowei’s tightly pressed lips and the strangely intense gaze fixed upon her.

A wisp of white mist escaped Song Shizhou’s lips.

Her hand was already warm. She wanted to pull away, but Bai Ruowei interlaced their fingers, locking them together.

“Wait.”

She said,

“Song Shizhou, don’t let go of me.”

She looked up. Unnoticed before, Bai Ruowei’s eyes seemed tinged with a faint redness, making her smile all the more striking both sorrowful and sharp.

She continued,

“Song Shizhou, don’t let go of my hand, and don’t let me off the hook.”

Don’t release her hand, and don’t overlook her wrongdoings.

Don’t easily forget the resentment, nor pretend to be indifferent, as if none of it mattered.

A gust of wind swept down from the distant peak of the ski run, dislodging a strand of Bai Ruowei’s hair from beneath her snow cap. It brushed against Song Shizhou’s cheek, sending a tremor through her heart.

Her chest ached. She couldn’t quite name the feeling, but it was an impulse, one that made her believe Bai Ruowei was utterly serious about entangling their lives together, not just humbly seeking forgiveness like a dog and calling it settled.

It was an impulse that reignited the flames of love.

She had thought Bai Ruowei had changed, that Miss Bai had grown cautious for the sake of love. But now, she suddenly realized Bai Ruowei hadn’t changed at all. She was still that flawless perfectionist. What she wanted, perhaps, had never been as simple as forgiveness.

Standing on the sloping ski run for too long made it hard to keep balance. Maybe both of them were caught up in that impulse, their movements growing restless. Someone neither knew who tripped over a pair of goggles buried in the snow.

And just like that, the two of them tumbled down the slope together.

Instinct took over. Bai Ruowei pulled her into an embrace.

Song Shizhou’s eyes trembled.

The sensation of rolling down the slope unexpectedly became fun and thrilling. They came to a stop on a gentler part of the slope, and when their eyes met, both looked somewhat disheveled.

A small cut had appeared at the corner of Miss Bai’s lips, leaving a faint trace of blood.

But the first thing Song Shizhou did wasn’t to call for help or check their injuries.

Instead, she leaned in, cupped Miss Bai’s chin, and kissed the blood away.

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