After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 46.2

The small studio came pre-furnished. After some simple tidying up and hiring workers to arrange the ceramic tools, she found herself busy until evening.

Only when everything was in place did she realize the space wasn’t that small after all. At the center stood a pottery wheel, that spinning device used when shaping clay. Though she wouldn’t need it immediately, Song Shizhou quite liked this tool; it simply felt right, creating the perfect atmosphere.

Placing her hands on the wheel, she watched as a small clay form gradually took shape beneath her fingers, bringing an inexplicable joy of creation.

She’d always enjoyed pottery.

Madam Song Lanyi had disapproved, thinking it unbecoming for her to mingle with workers, forbidding her from participating in ceramic production. Later, during a date with Miss Bai, they’d stumbled upon a small DIY pottery shop. The wheel there was practically a toy compared to professional equipment, yet she’d eagerly made a little clay pot for Bai Ruowei.

Then came Miss Bai’s birthday, when Song Shizhou had secretly slipped away to a kiln, staying for nearly half a month.

They’d shared many happy memories, though most had scattered like windblown dust. Even those that remained, Miss Bai had probably forgotten by now.

Just as she’d forgotten that ceramic piece. Forgotten completely.

That melancholic feeling surfaced again. Song Shizhou shook her head, irritated. She disliked this sentimental tendency useless affectations that served only to sadden oneself.

Perhaps what she needed was simply to forget Bai Ruowei.

After all, she’d already said goodbye last time.

A motion-activated light hung by the temporary studio’s entrance, illuminating whenever someone approached. As the warm yellow glow filtered through the glass at dusk, she assumed Su Ziqing had arrived and moved to open the door.

A wisp of white fluttered at the doorway, making Song Shizhou slow her steps.

She wore the same gray hoodie from their last meeting, wayward white curls escaping the hood, lending her a childish docility. Those striking, beautiful eyes gazed downward calmly, a face without embellishment, yet breathtakingly lovely all the same.

Song Shizhou’s expression faltered.

Opening the door just a crack, she asked through the gap, “Why are you here?”

Bai Ruowei hesitated, her hand gradually closing around the doorknob.

Their fingers nearly touched.

Miss Bai seemed slightly uncomfortable.

“You said goodbye last time.”

She had said goodbye.

She just hadn’t expected this reunion with Bai Ruowei to come so soon.

Perhaps because of their previous heart-to-heart, an awkwardness lingered between them now.

Song Shizhou didn’t know what to say. Neither, it seemed, did Bai Ruowei.

The door had unknowingly opened a small crack. Song Shizhou took a step back, but before she could open it wider, Miss Bai had already slipped inside.

Perhaps people always seem a bit flustered when embarrassed. Bai Ruowei’s movements were somewhat unnatural as she glanced at the empty sofa and asked Shizhou,

“Are you free now? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Song Shizhou nodded and poured her a glass of water.

Bai Ruowei sat on the sofa, nervously gripping the cup.

An awkward silence settled between them. After about five minutes, Miss Bai seemed to remember something and stepped out of the shop, returning with an exquisitely packaged wooden box from her car.

She placed the box on the table.

Inside was an extraordinarily beautiful blue-and-white porcelain vase, its intricate patterns and overglaze colors showcasing an elaborate craftsmanship. The vase, an Overglaze piece, preserved the pigments’ vibrancy to the fullest, clearly the work of a master artist.

Even the proud heirlooms passed down through generations of the Sun family paled in comparison to this vase.

After a careful examination, Song Shizhou thought it might be the work of the renowned artist Master Zhao. She had always admired Master Zhao’s pieces for their form and color, studying every publicly exhibited work yet this porcelain was one she had never seen before.

Seeing her focused expression, Bai Ruowei couldn’t help but feel pleased.

“This is indeed Master Zhao’s work. Since the accompanying pieces are still being designed, this vase hasn’t been publicly displayed.”

Master Zhao was known for his aloof and proud demeanor, rarely granting favors to anyone. That Miss Bai could borrow an unreleased piece spoke volumes about the effort she had put in.

Knowing Shizhou’s temperament, Bai Ruowei added somewhat awkwardly,

“This porcelain is exceptionally precious. I’ll return it to Master Zhao in two months.”

So please, don’t refuse it.

Her beautiful eyes lowered faintly, and even without saying those words, Song Shizhou understood what she meant.

Shizhou paused before speaking,

“Did Miss Bai come today just to give me this vase?”

Bai Ruowei lowered her head, the earlier trace of pride vanishing completely.

She nodded, then shook her head.

Bringing this rare masterpiece was her way of supporting Shizhou’s porcelain career not as a means to keep her. Even if Shizhou truly ignored her, even if they broke up, she still wished for Shizhou’s career to flourish.

But Shizhou’s question stirred a faint, different thought in her heart.

Song Shizhou’s clay mold wasn’t finished yet. Seeing that Miss Bai had no intention of continuing the conversation, she simply returned to her workbench.

The stiff clay took shape under her hands, transforming from rough to slender. Shizhou’s gaze remained fixed on the lifeless mold, her fingers moving deftly and gracefully. Faced with such sincerity and tenderness, even an inanimate lump of clay might yearn to take human form.

Bai Ruowei’s breath caught inexplicably.

She couldn’t deny the fatal allure Song Shizhou held over her. From the very beginning, she had been drawn to this gentle yet resolute focus, sinking deeper without realizing it.

Perhaps this was the Shizhou she loved.

As if guided by some unseen force, she found herself standing beside Song Shizhou and softly asked,

“Can I give it a try?”

Miss Bai knew nothing about shaping ceramics, yet she simply wanted to sit beside Song Shizhou. Perhaps Song Shizhou would gaze at her with that same tender, focused look she used to give just like before.

“It’s complicated, not as simple as it seems,” Song Shizhou replied.

“It only looks easy. Once you try, you’ll realize it takes patience.”

Her words sounded like well-meant advice, yet she subtly avoided Bai Ruowei’s touch.

Bai Ruowei’s eyes flickered, but her tone was firm.

“This time, I’ll be patient.”

Perhaps Miss Bai’s patience was different from others’. Besides, it was just a lump of clay was it really worth her attention and focus?

Song Shizhou smiled self-deprecatingly but still stood up to give her the seat.

Maybe because Song Shizhou had been working on it for so long before her arrival, a faint trace of night-blooming cereus lingered on the worktable. Bai Ruowei steadied herself and placed her hands on the nearly finished clay mold.

The clay was warm strangely reminiscent of the warmth from that person’s palms.

“Is the clay always this warm?”

Perhaps even the all-capable Inspector Bai wasn’t perfect at everything cooking, pottery, painting. Song Shizhou suddenly recalled that late-night scene: Bai Ruowei alone downstairs, clumsily preparing a table full of buttered apples.

Of course, she had noticed all these things Miss Bai had done. Unconsciously, a warmth began to spread in Song Shizhou’s heart.

She had helped her borrow precious masterpieces, she was grateful, even happy.

Just like how happy she had been when Bai Ruowei retrieved the Lu family couple’s confession for her.

But the next moment, Shizhou’s expression darkened. That warm feeling unraveled thread by thread from her heart. It wasn’t that she clung to the past it was just that this had happened too many times. Every time Song Shizhou thought Bai Ruowei had truly changed, reality would strike her hard. So until Bai Ruowei truly understood what love meant, she couldn’t wouldn’t, let herself sink again.

What if Miss Bai was just acting on a whim again?

Bai Ruowei seemed to have no talent for pottery. The once perfectly shaped clay began to warp under her hands. She glanced at Song Shizhou for help but quickly lowered her head, thinking Shizhou probably wouldn’t want to assist. Her slender figure looked almost desolate.

Song Shizhou hesitated. Telling herself it was just to salvage her own work, she gently placed her hand over Bai Ruowei’s.

“Let me teach you.”

Bai Ruowei froze. The next second, warmth enveloped their overlapping hands.

Not only did warmth flood her heart, but her body reacted even more intensely. A sudden wave of shame washed over her. Perhaps because they had shared far more intimate moments, even this simple touch sent her thoughts spiraling.

For a moment, Bai Ruowei forgot why she had come here. Memories flooded in like the tide, reminding her of the past she shared with Song Shizhou so many memories. Once, during one of their countless dates, Song Shizhou had given her a small ceramic cup they made together as a keepsake.

The look in Song Shizhou’s eyes back then was just as tender as it was now.

A chime seemed to ring in Miss Bai’s mind, bringing sudden clarity.

Wasn’t this gentle and sincere Shizhou exactly whom she had fallen in love with?

She had been pondering the question Shizhou left behind these past few days, and now she finally had the answer. Yet an indescribable ache immediately welled up in her heart so sour, so bitter. It was the kind of sourness born of regret. These little moments of interaction had formed the entirety of her relationship with Song Shizhou, but because she had been too stubborn and didn’t know how to cherish them, she had overlooked these heart-fluttering instances.

Overlooked them deliberately.

Bai Ruowei was filled with remorse.

Had she even deceived herself?

The truth was, she had long been hopelessly smitten with Song Shizhou, but for some inexplicable reason, she had stubbornly refused to admit it. Over time, she had even managed to fool herself.

A beautiful clay vessel took shape between their hands. Before Song Shizhou could even sigh in relief, she felt a scorching gaze land on her face. Uncomfortable, she realized the gaze belonged to Bai Ruowei.

That Miss Bai, who had always held herself aloft, unwilling to spare her even a second glance.

Instinctively, she asked,

“What are you looking at?”

Miss Bai paused.

“You.”

Song Shizhou froze.

“What?”

“I’m looking at you.”

She smiled, her dazzling light-green eyes carrying an unexpected tenderness, radiant and captivating.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Song Shizhou swallowed hard, almost doubting her own ears.

But there was more waiting for her.

“I really like you.”

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