After Losing My Memory, I Became My Rival's Palm-Sized Chirper - Chapter 23

Chapter 23: The Thousand Strategies of a Round Bird

Qi Jia spent his entire day clinging to the Celestial Emperor’s side, but it wasn’t entirely for the sake of learning government affairs or reading memorials.

Cultivating their feelings was the primary task he had to handle right now.

Unfortunately, after squatting in the Emperor’s study for several days in a row—where every day consisted of either brain-burning work or being so sleepy he felt intoxicated—Qi Jia’s hard work had yielded much insight into politics, but his romantic progress seemed to be at a total standstill.

Every day, they read together, ate together, read together, and slept.

Qi Jia felt this wouldn’t do.

It’s not that he hadn’t tried “creative” ideas before; for instance, he once tried to tie a red string between himself and Yu Baixi. Clearly, the other party didn’t appreciate that move.

Since he had to proceed slowly and steadily now, Qi Jia felt he should find a gentler approach…

During an occasional break for “fresh air,” Qi Jia summoned Fairy Shuoling and General Han for a meeting.

When the two heard that he still wanted to “cultivate feelings” with the Emperor, they were both greatly surprised. Han Mo’s first reaction was to wave his hand dismissively: “Your Consort, this immortal feels you completely needn’t go to such lengths. You are… you are the Empress personally handpicked by His Majesty!”

General Han secretly wiped away a bead of sweat. He had almost instinctively blurted out that the Consort used to be… luckily, he bit his tongue in time.

However, Han Mo still found it hard to accept that the Consort was putting so much effort into winning someone over—even if that someone was the Emperor.

…In fact, many people would find it hard to accept!

Especially since their Emperor was such a “block of wood.” When it came to romance, calling him “rotten wood” wouldn’t be an exaggeration!

If it were anyone else, there would be no need for the Consort to be so proactive… But since rotten wood cannot be carved, General Han truly worried that all the Consort’s efforts would eventually go to waste…

“Exactly. For ten thousand years, you are the only one by His Majesty’s side,” Shuoling added. She also couldn’t understand it; in her eyes, the relationship between the Emperor and Empress was already enough to make anyone envious. Why was the Consort still uneasy?

“You guys don’t understand… sigh.” Qi Jia sighed. He wanted to say, What’s so good about it? You know your Emperor stays in my palace every night, but you don’t know that every night he only wants to sleep beside a bird, and he doesn’t want to Dual Cultivate at all… that fluffy-fetishist!

Forget it, he was too embarrassed to say those words out loud.

Since his two “generals” couldn’t help him, Qi Jia had to figure out a way on his own as a single bird.

Fortunately, he had read quite a few storybooks back at Mt. Budu. Qi Jia dug out all the high-sweetness romance novels he previously wasn’t interested in and flipped through them one by one.

They were filled with instructions on how the two leads should interact to gradually heat up their emotions.

Since these were “secret manuals” to be used on the Emperor, it wasn’t appropriate for a “Chirp” to flip through them or take notes in front of the target. Thus, Qi Jia spent his period of dedicated research in the Library, not even returning to Weiyang Palace.

He spent two full days and one night in seclusion for his research.

To be precise, he spent a day and a half reading novels and accidentally fell asleep for one full night.

In any case, when the “Chirp” emerged from seclusion the next evening full of confidence, he felt as if a lifetime had passed—he hadn’t seen Yu Baixi for nearly two days.

Qi Jia flew all the way to Hongmeng Palace.

At this time, the lamps were just being lit. Hongmeng Palace remained the quietest place in the Jade Capital, with only the Emperor’s study emitting a faint, flickering candlelight.

Qi Jia flew directly through the window into the study, landed, tucked his wings, and looked up.

“Chirp.”

The Emperor’s hand holding the brush paused slightly. He glanced at the pale-yellow bird on the desk before lowering his gaze again. “You’ve come.”

Simultaneously, his vermilion brush moved rapidly, writing a brief “Reviewed” at the end of the memorial. Yu Baixi calmly closed the scroll before looking up again.

“What business do you have with this Seat?”

His grey-blue eyes were as cold as frost and snow, an unmelting chill that was both serious and piercing.

It made Qi Jia instinctively want to follow the man’s lead and answer: “I’m looking for you… for no reason.”

The round little bird tilted its head in confusion: “Didn’t we agree to meet every day? Isn’t it only natural for me to come find you?”

The Emperor froze slightly upon hearing this. “…Mhm.”

His gaze drifted elsewhere, and he said nothing more.

This made Qi Jia even more suspicious. He couldn’t help but hop a step forward: “How is it that after not seeing each other for just one night, you seem so distant again?”

“…I am not,” Yu Baixi said.

“No, you are.”

Qi Jia said: “Before yesterday, when I came here, you wouldn’t ask what I was doing, nor would you look at me so seriously!”

The round “Chirp” used its wings to count the differences: “…Two days ago when I came, you were quite used to it. Our relationship looked very intimate then, like an old married couple!”

Yu Baixi: “…”

“It was clearly because you didn’t come yesterday or today. This Seat thought…”

The Emperor didn’t say what he thought. He simply said: “I was mistaken.”

As he spoke, he reached out and tapped the round bird on the head. A cooling spiritual energy poured out, carrying a strong sense of comfort.

Qi Jia was left feeling bewildered. After all, yesterday when the Emperor finished court, Qi Jia had specifically run over to tell him he was going into seclusion in the Library. He had come out on time today, so that counted as seeing each other daily!

But thinking about the fact that he hadn’t returned to Weiyang Palace to sleep last night because he was too tired… the little round bird still felt a bit guilty. He simply accepted the Emperor’s soothing.

Well, being a couple means one side gives in and then the other side gives in. It’s written in the storybooks!

Having completed his “further studies,” the bird shook his wings and straightened his tiny body, looking spirited. Qi Jia even used his wings to hug the Emperor’s finger, explaining generously: “I was too tired from reading last night to come back to sleep, but I told you in advance, so it doesn’t count as breaking our agreement.”

Yu Baixi: “…”

His cold finger was suddenly wrapped. Warm, dry fluff covered it, and because of the length of his finger, his fingertip ended up poking right against the little fat bird’s soft belly.

… The Emperor’s long lashes flickered sharply. He said: “Mhm.”

“Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do, it is fine,” Yu Baixi added. But catching the round bird’s increasingly wide eyes, he supplemented: “Leaving the Jade Capital is not allowed.”

“Going to Yuxian Pavilion is not allowed.”

“…” Qi Jia opened his mouth but was ultimately speechless.

However, Qi Jia’s ability to take action was always strong. Soon, he found a comb and wanted to comb the Emperor’s hair.

Yu Baixi: “?”

Qi Jia flapped his wings in mid-air while holding the tiny comb: “There’s a mortal storybook called For the Rest of My Life, It’s You. At the end of the story, the male lead combs the female lead’s hair and draws her eyebrows every day. I don’t know how to draw eyebrows, so I’ll comb your hair instead.”

Yu Baixi: “…What does that storybook have to do with you combing my hair?”

“It does!” Qi Jia laughed, his voice clear and bright. “According to the symbolism, if I comb your hair every day, we can be together forever!”

Yu Baixi: “…” He fell silent.

Yu Baixi didn’t say yes or no; he just remained silent. Qi Jia took it as tacit consent and flew up, intending to remove the jade crown from the Emperor’s head.

Consequently, Yu Baixi moved his head slightly, not letting Qi Jia get close. Instead, he placed the fat bird in his palm and brought him to his face. His gaze was full of hesitation.

Finally, he spoke tentatively: “Do you know… a dragon’s head cannot be touched casually?”

“Why?” Qi Jia tilted his head. He really didn’t know.

“Because one cannot touch the dragon horns,” Yu Baixi said.

“Why?” The little “Chirp” continued to be confused. “What happens if I touch them?”

“…Nothing in particular.” The Emperor’s expression didn’t change, but his thin lips pressed tight, clearly feeling it was inappropriate to continue this topic.

After more silence, he said: “Let this Seat comb yours instead.” With that, he grasped the comb floating in the air.

Qi Jia: “?” So what actually happens?

Though curious, the little bird respected others’ habits. Besides, regardless of who combed whom, it seemed to fit the atmosphere of the storybooks… The round bird lay down peacefully without objection.

Once the comb fell into the Emperor’s hand, it automatically shrunk, becoming a wooden comb that matched the bird’s size.

In the Emperor’s study, on the Emperor’s desk, the pale-yellow bird was held down and had his feathers combed.

…Qi Jia was experiencing this for the first time. He was quite unaccustomed to it at first. But finding Yu Baixi’s technique very gentle—neither making him uncomfortable nor damaging his feathers—he let go, lying flat on the desk, turning left and then right. He was so comfortable he almost fell asleep.

While Yu Baixi’s hand was stiff, it was meticulous and gentle.

As the little round bird flattened himself into a “pancake” to enjoy the service, the Emperor groomed the feathers with total focus. A bird that loves cleanliness always carries a faint fragrance and the scent of sunlight. The feathers were clean, and the fluff underneath was always soft and warm.

After the grooming, Qi Jia tucked his wings and ran to a mirror. In the small mirror, his entire body looked even fluffier and rounder than before, almost like a perfect ball of dough.

Qi Jia was extremely satisfied. He had thought this move was only for promoting their relationship, but he didn’t expect it to make him fluffier and prettier as well! …No wonder that mortal storybook arranged for grooming… wait, hair combing… every day; it turns out it truly makes one feel pleasant in body and mind!

Thus, from then on, the Emperor had an extra task every day—grooming the Empress’s feathers.

Having deeply understood the magical benefits of mortal storybooks, Qi Jia began to practice the second item in his notes.

“Tomorrow, I want to go to the Demon Realm,” the little fat bird suddenly said as they were about to sleep.

“The Demon Realm?” Yu Baixi had just cast a cleansing spell and was about to lie down with his clothes on. Hearing this, his tall figure suddenly turned around. As his sleeves swayed, his grey-blue eyes—usually devoid of joy or anger—looked at him deeply, his voice dropping several registers.

Yu Baixi asked: “What are you going to the Demon Realm for?”

“I heard there’s a type of tree in the Demon Realm called the Silver Moon Peach. I want to collect some fresh peach nectar,” Qi Jia answered honestly.

The nectar of the Silver Moon Peach was a good medicine for strengthening one’s foundations. These trees could only be found in the Demon Realm, though it wasn’t normally that difficult to obtain. The difficulty lay in the fact that the nectar was only available between the hours of Yin and Mao (3 AM to 7 AM), and once collected, it could only be preserved for ten hours. Thus, it was extremely precious.

“In this book, God Ancestor Bless Us, May We Last Forever, one of the male leads wakes up every morning to collect peach nectar for the other to help him recover his magic power. The two of them overcome difficulties together and end up together in the end…”

Qi Jia said: “I want to collect peach nectar for you.”

Yu Baixi: “…” Looking at the book hovering before him, the Emperor pondered for a long time before suddenly speaking: “Can you even wake up?”

Qi Jia: “…” Qi Jia felt the other was mocking him for not being able to wake up even for court. He was quite unhappy and, because it was true, unable to refute it.

But that was all in the past; it didn’t mean he couldn’t wake up in the future. Thus, the “Chirp” quickly argued with his wings on his hips: “That depends on the matter! For you, even if this Consort can’t wake up, he must wake up!”

Yu Baixi: “…”

“The forces in the Demon Realm are chaotic and full of danger.” When Yu Baixi spoke again, his voice was faint and full of logic. “You are still recovering from your injuries. This Seat does not wish… and will absolutely not allow you to go.”

“I know,” Qi Jia nodded. “The Brief History of the Four Realms says that since you killed that Demon God, the Demon Realm has appeared weak for ten thousand years, but internally it is divided among warlords biding their time. Many tribes intend to restore their demonic prestige, so there has been constant internal warfare.”

“But I’m just going to collect some nectar. I’ll only go to the peaceful and peripheral areas marked on the map. I promise nothing will happen.”

Qi Jia dared to say this because Mt. Budu, though in the mortal realm, was actually connected to the Demon Realm. There was a blood river running through to separate the two, but bird-type demons often flew to Mt. Budu and occasionally spoke of things over there, so he didn’t think the Demon Realm was that terrifying.

On the contrary, “I heard the Demon Realm has countless rare herbs and gathers countless unique flowering trees found nowhere else in the Four Realms. They are extraordinarily beautiful; it’s said there are over a hundred types of just peach trees alone. Ah…” Qi Jia’s eyes shone as he spoke. “I really want to go see!”

As he spoke, Yu Baixi watched him quietly. Seeing the fat bird’s eyes grow rounder and brighter, the Emperor pursed his lips and said: “You will see it.”

He raised his hand and touched the soft feathers on the bird’s body, appearing slightly distracted. A moment later, he said in a low voice: “When the time is right, this Seat will go with you. But not now.”

“This book of yours is a Demon Realm story, which is why it mentions collecting peach nectar. The Heaven Realm also has many treasures with similar effects. If you need anything, go ask Lord Lao and the others. If you want to harvest things personally, you can ask the Medicine King.”

The Emperor said everything in one breath, his tone decisive and leaving no room for argument. His meaning was that he absolutely would not let Qi Jia go to the Demon Realm.

Qi Jia was also convinced—it made sense. What he was chasing was the plot from the storybook where lovers personally harvest treasures to heal each other. The treasure didn’t necessarily have to be peach nectar. And it was clearly unrealistic for him to go to the Demon Realm every day.

But… “It’s not the same,” Qi Jia still said decisively.

As for how it was different… The “Chirp’s” round eyes darted around, his spirited look now carrying a hint of guilt. He looked like a little thief. “The book says the nectar is nourishing and beautifying. Its texture is smooth, sweet, and moist; it’s refreshing, crisp, and heart-cooling. Just one sip can nourish the internal organs, quench thirst, and banish fatigue instantly. Crucially, I heard the nectar carries a thick scent of celestial peaches! …Based on the description, it simply couldn’t taste any better! I… I was thinking while I was collecting nectar for you, I’d also happen to taste what it’s like…”

—Guilty and thief-like, yet fundamentally disdainful of hiding it or lying. The key was that his saliva was almost leaking out; there was no way to hide it! He was just that kind of gluttonous bird. The “Chirp” was quite self-righteous.

Yu Baixi: “…”

Qi Jia rubbed his wings together: “So, just tell me whether you’ll let me go or not?”

“I will not,” the Emperor’s voice was cold and allowed no dispute. “Do not even think about it again. This Seat advises you to dispel this notion as soon as possible.”

The little fat bird: “…”

The next day, the Emperor woke up an hour earlier than usual. And when the Empress woke up, Fairy Shuoling brought him a pot of fresh Silver Moon Peach nectar with a beaming smile.