After Losing My Memory, I Became My Rival's Palm-Sized Chirper - Chapter 20

Chapter 20: His Majesty’s Head Color is About to Change

Yuxian Tower.

The most famous “Southern Wind” pavilion (a brothel for male entertainers) in the Four Realms.

However, the amnesiac Qi Jia was hearing of it for the first time.

“Southern Wind refers to nanfeng (male wind/customs),” Shuoling explained to the Sovereign as she walked beside him. “From top to bottom, left to right, including the top courtesans—everyone is a man.”

To visit this world-renowned pavilion, Qi Jia had specifically changed his clothes.

He wore a form-fitting black inner robe paired with a wide-sleeved, moon-white outer robe. Dressed in brocade and fine silks with his long hair tied high, he looked much sharper and more spirited than usual. His natural elegance was slightly subdued, highlighting a noble, refined, and high-spirited aura instead.

Even so, from the moment Qi Jia stepped through the door, the gazes falling upon him never ceased.

The more perceptive and rational patrons took one look at his attire and his two attendants and knew he was not a resident performer of Yuxian Tower, but rather a person of high status who was not to be trifled with.

However, there were those emboldened by wine or clouded by lust who tried to approach. Han Mo repelled them all by raising his sword. Some were frightened into looking away, but others remained unrepentant, casting constant side-glances in their direction.

“Sovereign, perhaps we should go back,” Shuoling said, feeling a bit afraid.

Not only was she a staunch supporter of the love between the Sovereign and His Majesty, but the greasy, appraising eyes following the Sovereign filled her with disgust and unease.

If His Majesty found out about this…

“What is there to fear?” Qi Jia’s lips curled into a carefree, radiant smile. In an instant, he looked as clear as the moon and as calm as the wind, projecting the image of a man who could effortlessly control everything.

“Being looked at won’t cost me a piece of flesh,” Qi Jia said. “Besides, isn’t the Mortal Realm considered a ‘Low-Spirit Realm’? Humans and spirits here have to cultivate constantly just to ascend to the Immortal, Demon, or Ghost Realms. If that’s the case, with the strength of the three of us, can’t we just walk sideways (act without restraint) here? Nothing will happen.”

“While the Mortal Realm is a Low-Spirit Realm, there’s no guarantee that some ‘second-generation’ demons or monsters born in High-Spirit Realms won’t come here for fun…” Shuoling was still worried.

Although the Mortal Realm was closely linked to the other three realms, because mortal lives were short, only those who achieved Great Enlightenment and passed their tribulations could leap into the other realms for longevity and further cultivation. Thus, since ancient times, there had been a hierarchy among the four realms:

The Mortal Realm was called the Low-Spirit Realm.

Ordinary beings from the other three realms could use “dimensional suppression” to crush anything in the Mortal Realm.

However, using the Heavenly Realm as an example, the laws were strict. Aside from Immortals like the Sovereign who held a special token, ordinary Immortals were not allowed to leave the Nine Heavens without necessity. Even those who could leave had to register and report their movements.

Thus, this was also Shuoling Immortal’s first time visiting such a place in the Mortal Realm, and she didn’t know the local situation. “What if…”

“There are no ‘what ifs’,” Qi Jia turned to look at Han Mo. “Isn’t General Han very good at fighting?”

Han Mo: “I shall protect the Sovereign even at the cost of my life!”

Qi Jia smiled again, the corners of his bright, phoenix eyes turning upward. “No need to die. Just relax a little.”

Han Mo quickly looked away, staring at the floor. “While it’s possible people from the other three realms might come here privately for amusement, those from High-Spirit Realms are subject to the strictest restrictions in the Mortal Realm. Furthermore, for ten thousand years, the Four Realms have been in agreement; His Majesty has been in charge of this sector. No one dares to be reckless.”

Qi Jia nodded. He had already learned the basics of this from the chronicles in the Library.

The Mortal Realm was a Low-Spirit Realm, but it also had the largest population of humans and spirits—dozens of times more than the other three realms combined—and a high birth rate, ensuring life was never-ending.

This maintained a balance for the Four Realms.

The other three realms needed a constant influx of mortal cultivators who achieved enlightenment to ascend and strengthen their own tribes.

Those in the Mortal Realm seeking longevity also hoped to achieve enlightenment to enter the High-Spirit Realms for longer lives or even reach the God Realm for eternal life.

To maintain this balance, the Four Realms had long ago established a covenant: the other three realms were not allowed to use their spiritual powers to act willfully in the Mortal Realm, nor could they interfere with its affairs at will.

This order had lasted for many years.

However, from time to time, friction and wars would break out between the Heaven, Demon, and Spirit realms. During those times, the order of the Mortal Realm would become chaotic.

For example, during the Great War between Heaven and Demons ten thousand years ago, the Mortal Realm suffered the most. As the saying goes: When gods fight, mortals suffer.

After the war ended, the Mortal Realm remained in chaos for a long time.

It was during these ten thousand years that Yu Baixi, upon succeeding the throne, used a thunderous iron fist to re-establish order, significantly improving the situation in the Mortal Realm.

Han Mo said confidently, “Today’s Mortal Realm is peaceful and prosperous. It has been a long time since anyone from a High-Spirit Realm caused trouble here.”

That was why he didn’t think there would be any problem with the Sovereign coming here. When the Sovereign said he wanted to go to Yuxian Tower, General Han had readily made the arrangements.

But Shuoling did not see it that way.

She let out an “Aiya” and couldn’t help but glare at General Han for not stopping the Sovereign. She said, “I’m not worried about the Sovereign’s safety, I’m worried about… His Majesty. And the relationship between His Majesty and the Sovereign!”

Han Mo: !?

“So that’s how it is…”

After this hint, General Han finally realized that the way the people around them were looking at the Sovereign wasn’t meant to bring him harm, but was another kind of… ill intent!

So Shuoling Immortal was worried about the color on top of His Majesty’s head!! (Refers to “wearing a green hat,” a Chinese idiom for being cheated on).

…Even though he knew the truth about the relationship between His Majesty and the Sovereign, Han Mo still instinctively held his breath and began to worry.

Fortunately, it was exactly the time he was supposed to use a secret transmission to report to His Majesty.

Qi Jia, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes and looked at Shuoling meaningfully. “Shuoling, do I look like the kind of person who would step on multiple boats (date multiple people)?”

“…Sovereign, this humble immortal didn’t mean that.”

Shuoling quickly curtsied and explained, “I just feel that the Sovereign is a free-spirited person who doesn’t stick to trivialities, while His Majesty is a ‘stuffy gourd’ who just made you angry… if you happen to meet someone here who suits your personality better, then it would be, it would be hard to say!…”

“Rest assured.”

Qi Jia waved his hand lazily. “As I said, I came here first to relax and see the world, and second to ask about those ‘spring palaces’ (erotica)… to ask about some matters. I guarantee nothing else will happen.”

Shuoling: …

But based on those two goals, the top of His Majesty’s head is already very unsafe! The color is going to change!

Just as Qi Jia finished speaking, the brothel’s manager (the “guigong”) came up to greet them. Recognizing the man in black as the leader of the trio, the manager said warmly, “Honored guests, please follow me to a private room. Have you been here before or were you introduced by a friend? Do you already have a performer in mind?”

“First time. No introduction.”

Qi Jia glanced at the still-tense Shuoling and said bluntly, “I am here behind my husband’s back. Just find a few pleasant personalities to play some music and chat with us.”

“Husband…” The manager was startled and couldn’t help but look Qi Jia up and down. Truly, he was peerlessly handsome, one of a kind in this world.

To think such a beautiful man had married early, and to another man at that…

Actually, many “male wives” came to their establishment, claiming they were there to have fun and see the world. In reality, most of the time, it was because their own husbands were disobedient and frequented the place, so the wives finally lost their patience and came to catch them.

The manager feared this most because it inevitably led to a big scene, which affected business.

Though he smiled and agreed, the manager felt bitter inside and couldn’t help but complain about this “wife’s” husband—to have married such a heavenly beauty and still come out seeking pleasure… Hmph, men! What a sin!

Afterward, the three were led to a private room on the second floor.

As Qi Jia requested, the manager found several refined and pleasant young men to play the zither, pour wine, and engage in small talk.

This was the first time Qi Jia had drunk wine since regaining consciousness.

His tolerance was average; after three cups, his cheeks began to flush.

The several young men, who were already quite handsome themselves, were seeing such a stunningly beautiful man for the first time. They were naturally curious, but they couldn’t withstand his lofty and transcendent aura; they wanted to get close but didn’t quite dare.

However, seeing that the “Madam” seemed to have drunk a bit much, they gradually relaxed and spoke more freely.

One clever young man, remembering the task the manager gave him, began to subtly probe for the “Madam’s” true purpose.

Qi Jia’s answer was very direct: “I just wanted to ask how you all… you know…”

He wanted to say “mate.”

But he suddenly remembered that Yuxian Tower served the human race of the Mortal Realm, and humans didn’t say “mate.” They would say…

“How you perform the ‘Act of Dunlun’ (sexual intercourse).”

“Eh?” The young men looked at each other. The clever one was the first to react: “…Madam wishes to know how a husband and wife perform in the bedchamber?”

Qi Jia smiled and nodded without any embarrassment: “Exactly.”

Several of the young men showed expressions of disbelief.

…It wasn’t uncommon for male wives to come here to learn from their experience, but they never imagined that someone as exquisite and refined as the man before them would also need it!…

“Madam possesses the grace of an immortal and beauty that could topple cities. A single glance is enough to stir mortal desires. How could there be discord in that matter, requiring Madam to come and learn in person…” One young man couldn’t help but complain on the “Madam’s” behalf.

But this question poked right at Qi Jia’s sore spot. Already slightly tipsy, he leaned against the railing, propped his chin on his hand, and put on a sorrowful face: “Isn’t that the truth?”

“I… this Madam is also very puzzled.”

“Your master is truly too tactless!”

The young men had never seen anyone so pitiable. They began to speak up for Qi Jia:

“I’ve heard some patrons say that some high-ranking officials and nobles have a habit of ‘collecting.’ They take beautiful people for their own, not allowing anyone else to touch them, yet they don’t cherish them themselves.”

“Hmph, men never cherish what they have once they’ve gotten it.”

“Could it be that your husband has some… hidden ailment (impotence)?”

“Ahem, ahem.” This cough came from Shuoling.

…Regardless of whether His Majesty truly had a hidden ailment, speculating about the Heavenly Emperor was a grave crime! Even if these men didn’t know the Sovereign’s identity, Shuoling feared a misunderstanding would escalate the matter. She intervened for their own good.

But Qi Jia was struck by those words once again. After so many days, he really was starting to suspect Yu Baixi was “unworkable”!

However.

The existence of the Dragon Breath gave Qi Jia a sliver of confidence. Besides, after reading extensively these past few days, he knew that Dual Cultivation didn’t have much to do with whether Yu Baixi’s body worked or not. The other’s insistence on not Dual Cultivating must be for another reason.

…Thinking of Dual Cultivation made Qi Jia sigh.

His situation with Yu Baixi was too complicated to describe. In the end, he simply told the young men that he had married the other because he was pregnant, but after the marriage, the other refused to touch him no matter what.

The storybooks he had read mostly came from the Mortal Realm, and many featured such “dog-blood” (melodramatic) plots. Qi Jia thought the people here would be very experienced with such a history.

Unexpectedly, after he finished, the young men exclaimed: “What? Madam is already with child? …One really can’t tell; Madam has maintained herself so well!”

“No wonder Madam is so handsome; so you are not of the human race… then Madam must be from the Demon race?”

“Demon race?” Qi Jia neither confirmed nor denied it. Since he didn’t know the answer himself, he just smiled ambiguously.

The young men didn’t focus on that. Someone said, “Since Madam is already with child, it’s only natural the Master doesn’t share a bed with you. He is considering Madam’s well-being.”

Qi Jia denied it in his heart: No, the problem is that he doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m pregnant!

…Even this marriage was only obtained through his own persistent pestering.

Thinking of this, he felt even more dispirited.

Qi Jia picked up the wine pot again and drank directly from the spout.

“Since Madam is pregnant, you should drink less,” the young men hurriedly advised.

But the ordinary wine of the Mortal Realm was no match for Qi Jia; even Shuoling and Han Mo didn’t stop him.

Seeing this, the young men naturally drank along.

The wine went around another round.

Several of the young men were getting drunk. They discovered that although the “Madam” looked cold and noble on the outside, his temper was actually very good. He wasn’t bossy; he was generous and easy to talk to. Moreover, he seemed to really enjoy listening to them talk.

The young men gradually loosened up, laughing and playing around Qi Jia. They began to tease the clever one: “Wei Yun, in a few days, Young Master Zhang will come to redeem you. I heard he’s even going to bring a dowry to welcome you into his home. You, you, have finally seen the clouds part to reveal the moon!”

The clever one named Wei Yun had a shy blush on his face. “What ‘Young Master’? He’s just a rough laborer. But he doesn’t mind me, is willing to redeem me, and is good to me. So, I’ve decided to follow him.”

“It’s better that he’s not a Young Master. What good are those weak scholars?” another said. “I’ve seen your man working in the back courtyard. Aiya, that body full of muscle, and a huge set of abs! If you ask me, someone like that is much better than those scholars!”

The bright-eyed youths giggled, and unknowingly, the conversation turned toward the study of abdominal muscles.

One person said the current guest of the top courtesan was a cultivator whose body was so well-trained he was almost at the point of enlightenment; his physique was beyond words.

Another said they heard the previous top courtesan had hosted a big shot from the Demon Realm who had come to the Mortal Realm in disguise for pleasure; his physique was also incredible, something a mortal simply couldn’t handle!

“Why couldn’t they handle it?”

Qi Jia had drunk too much. He only heard the last half of the sentence and asked with blurry, drunken eyes.

“Aiya, because it was big, of course,” one young man explained.

“No, no, no,” another corrected. “Mainly because the stamina wasn’t equal. They couldn’t withstand it.”

Qi Jia burst out laughing. With his elegant features and relaxed posture, he pointed at one then the other, evaluating: “You’re right, and you’re also right. Haha!”

Beside him, Shuoling Immortal: …

Wait, wait, wait. Although the situation isn’t what I feared—the Sovereign really is just purely drinking with these pretty boys—isn’t your conversation getting more and more explicit!

Yet at this moment, the Sovereign actually remembered her. He glanced back at her and pointed to the small balcony connected to the warm room: “Ah, I forgot. You are still young and ‘not out of the chamber’ yet. Go wait for us outside.”

Shuoling Immortal: …Her face was the color of a vegetable (pale/unwell).

Thank you. A long-lived person in the Mortal Realm is at most two or three hundred years old, while even a short-lived one in the Immortal Realm can live to over twenty thousand years.

She estimated she was older than all these boys’ great-grandmothers combined.

But those sweet-tongued young men had already started calling her “Sister, Sister” and were asking about her situation like a normal conversation. How could Shuoling, from the cold and quiet Heavenly Realm, have ever seen such a thing? She immediately felt bashful and eventually left for the balcony to get some fresh air with a reddened face.

.

Being a bird, when Qi Jia drank too much, he wanted to pee.

Although he had to follow the rules of the Mortal Realm here, a bird maintains its clean habits. He didn’t want to use the commode in the room, so Qi Jia got up to go to the latrine.

When he came back, his mind was still unclear, and he had already forgotten which private room was theirs.

Qi Jia wandered around Yuxian Tower.

the young man following him thought he just wanted to wander around at will, so he followed quietly. Coincidentally, Qi Jia passed another private room and heard someone inside arguing about abdominal muscles.

…His mind was already full of the discussion those youths had earlier. Suddenly hearing the commotion in that room, he thought it was their room and pushed the door open.

The people inside fell silent at first. Upon seeing Qi Jia’s face, they were startled, their eyes shining with the brilliance of being stunned by beauty.

Someone hurriedly stood up and walked toward Qi Jia: “This Young Master is…”

“We’ve entered the wrong room.”

Seeing the people in this room were disheveled and likely playing some sordid game, Shuoling and Han Mo immediately stepped forward to prevent them from approaching.

But the people inside wouldn’t let it go: “Meeting is destiny. Why doesn’t the Young Master come in for a drink and play a game with us?”

“Game? What game?” Qi Jia asked.

Seeing he was drunk, the expressions of the men in the room became more excited. A young man sitting beside a burly man stood up: “The masters are competing to see whose abs are bigger. Does the Young Master want to join?”

Qi Jia: “The ‘masters’ compete, but the ‘madams’ don’t?”

The young man: ???

“I mean…” Qi Jia swayed and let out a wine burp. “Fine, this Sovereign shall compete with you.”

As soon as he finished speaking, he went to step into the room, but he was pulled back by Shuoling and Han Mo. Both were breaking out in a cold sweat. Shuoling hurried to warn the people inside: “This is our Madam! …Our Madam’s husband, my Young Master’s temper is not good!”

But the young man inside hadn’t been briefed by the manager and didn’t know their identities. Based on the principle of serving his patrons well, he immediately said, “Oh, so it’s a Madam who already has a master. Then what are you doing here? You’ve come to the wrong place.”

Seeing the group with a guard and a maid, the young man naturally assumed the Madam before him was here to catch a cheating husband. He thought to himself that even such a beautiful male wife still had to come to their pavilion to fight for a man, and he felt a sense of triumph: “Why don’t you have your husband come and compete with our master then?”

He said this partly to vent and partly because the patrons in this room were all burly men; they wouldn’t lose an abdominal muscle competition. It was also a way to please these “masters.”

No man dislikes being praised.

But to his surprise, the “male wife” across from him was not convinced.

“Why should my husband compete with your master… you are a living being too, you can have abs too. Why have someone else compete for you?”

The young man: “…”

This was truly a question he had never considered.

Qi Jia: “Today I will… let you see!”

Qi Jia didn’t think he was lacking at all. He didn’t even enter the room; he simply prepared to untie his belt at the door.

People outside heard the commotion, and more and more people gathered. Now, Shuoling and Han Mo were breaking out in a real cold sweat!

“Sovereign…” Shuoling wanted to stop him but felt it was inappropriate to touch him.

Han Mo was even more afraid to approach his idol… he was still at the stage of not daring to look directly at the Sovereign’s face! Fortunately…

Before the Sovereign could actually untie his belt, a chilly, cool breeze suddenly blew through Yuxian Tower.

Accompanied by a faint scent of medicinal herbs, a hand pressed directly onto Qi Jia’s half-untied belt.

A tall figure appeared before him unexpectedly. They were so close that Qi Jia had to look up to see the newcomer’s face clearly.

When he looked up, he saw Yu Baixi looking down at him, his gray-blue eyes overflowing with frost.

Qi Jia blinked instinctively, feeling a bit frozen.

“Go home,” Yu Baixi said coldly.

The moment his tall figure in white appeared, time seemed to freeze for everyone else.

Most people in the Mortal Realm were cultivators seeking enlightenment; humans and spirits each had their own techniques. Many people could appear out of thin air.

But no one had ever seen someone appear so silently, so invisibly, and with such an incredibly piercing aura.

Everyone was startled by this person’s sudden appearance.

Only the drunken Qi Jia had eyes that shone like stars.

At this moment, his mind was truly unclear. Something flashed through his brain that he couldn’t catch, but it had a huge impact on him.

It was like being in a dream. For the current Qi Jia, the person before him was not the cold, distant Heavenly Emperor sitting on a high throne, nor was he that amnesiac and helpless little bird.

It was as if he had returned to a time he didn’t remember, but his soul felt extremely familiar with. It was clearly his youth; it was as if a version of himself from another world had returned with wine to drink with someone in this bustling world.

Drinking heavily, beautiful music, carefree poetry and painting, a wild wind blowing.

So, looking at the person before him, Qi Jia couldn’t help but tease: “What a coincidence, little brother.”

Yu Baixi: ?

The Heavenly Emperor suddenly lowered his gaze.

Qi Jia had already patted the other’s shoulder, his eyes filled with a teasing smile that said “don’t pretend, we all understand”: “So you come here to play too.”