After Joining a Dating Show, My Silly Ex Got Jealous - Chapter 4

The guests hauled their luggage to their respective rooms and, after a quick settling-in, filtered back downstairs.

Zheng Jingren took a lap around the kitchen and noted, “The fridge is empty except for some fruit. How are we handling dinner?”

Qin Zheng pulled out his phone. “I’ll order takeout.”

The small loudspeaker on the ceiling immediately chimed in: “Ordering takeout is not allowed in the house!”

Qin Zheng flinched, looking up at the speaker with a stone-faced expression that radiated pure murderous intent. The dark aura surrounding him made it crystal clear that he was contemplating “silencing” the speaker for good.

He gritted his teeth. “Can I order delivery for groceries then?” He added emphatically, “Raw vegetables!”

“Dead ones aren’t allowed either,” the loudspeaker continued to provoke him.

Qin Zheng immediately turned to scan the room for a weapon, intent on erasing the speaker from existence.

Ji Xiting, however, understood the game. In a dating show, grocery shopping and cooking together—complete with the “apron-tying” trope and the “battle for the sink”—were classic ways to spark chemistry and light little fires of attraction.

This Qin Zheng really understands nothing. Such a hopeless straight man, Ji Xiting thought.

He glanced at the fuming Qin Zheng and said, “Let’s just go to the supermarket. Does anyone want to come with me?”

“I’ll go. I can show off my skills a bit tonight,” Zheng Jingren said with a gentle smile.

Truly the reliable chef archetype, Ji Xiting mentally patted himself on the back for his keen intuition. I’ve got a good eye, but I shouldn’t get cocky.

Qin Zheng’s internal alarm bells went off. “I’m going too.”

“What for? Can you even tell the difference between a cucumber and a cabbage?” Ji Xiting shot him down.

“Of course I can. One is yellow and one is white. I’m not colorblind.”

Everyone: “…” Yellow?

Ji Xiting ignored him and asked, “Anyone else?”

The tycoon in the electric wheelchair glided past them, saying calmly, “It’s inconvenient for me.”

Ji Xiting turned to Shen Ruan. “Are you coming?”

“Sure,” Shen Ruan nodded, but then he peeked at Zhen Jiankang standing nearby. “Um… are you going?”

Zhen Jiankang replied, “If you guys need help carrying stuff—”

“We don’t,” Qin Zheng cut him off coldly.

“Then I’ll pass. I’m going to play ball.” Zhen Jiankang mimed another shot at the ceiling-mounted hoop, looking as though he’d made it.

Shen Ruan paused, then looked back at Ji Xiting. “Actually, Ting-ge, maybe I won’t go either. I’ll go next time.”

【Oh, Shen Ruan, you little cutie—your intentions are as clear as day!】

【I can hear the gears of his plan turning from all the way across the ocean.】

【He’s laying it on so thick it’s hitting me in the face, but Xiao Kang doesn’t seem to notice at all.】

Ji Xiting looked at Si Wen, who laughed. “I have a document to process, but I can help with the cooking once you guys get back.”

“Fair enough,” Ji Xiting said, disappointed.

Zheng Jingren did some quick math in his head. It seemed he was about to go out in public with two people who had broken up just three days ago…

“Uh, maybe I should—mph!”

Ji Xiting covered his mouth with a “benevolent” smile. “No. You cannot.”

Qin Zheng’s face darkened. He grabbed Ji Xiting’s hand and pulled it away, saying with disgust, “You’ve got his spit on you now. It’s stinking up the place.”

“Shut up.” Ji Xiting felt like he might need to amputate the hand.

Zheng Jingren’s brow twitched. “Fine, insult me, but why must you insult my saliva?” He didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, and had no stomach issues. How could his spit be “stinky”?

Ji Xiting proved with his actions that he intended to insult it thoroughly. He ignored Zheng Jingren’s aggrieved stare and went to the sink, scrubbing his hand with soap as if his life depended on it.

Qin Zheng stood by with his arms crossed, supervising. “Scrub harder. Don’t you feel his saliva molecules infiltrating your skin?”

“Qin Zheng!” Ji Xiting turned to kick him, but the man dodged nimbly.

Ji Xiting ripped off a paper towel and dried his hand aggressively, wishing he could use Qin Zheng’s clothes as a rag…

Wait, why couldn’t he?

He looked up at Qin Zheng and smiled sweetly.

Qin Zheng felt a chill down his spine and tried to bolt, but Ji Xiting snagged the hem of his shirt.

“What are you doing?” Qin Zheng clutched his chest. “It’s broad daylight, don’t be a pervert.”

Ji Xiting rolled his eyes. “In your dreams.”

He wiped his hands on the five-figure luxury fabric and, satisfied, called out to Zheng Jingren, “Let’s go, Old Zheng. Grocery time.”

Zheng Jingren followed him out like a resentful ghost, but within a few steps, he was shoved aside by the taller “shadow” following them.

“…”

Rule number one: Never hang out with a couple. Especially a newly-broken-up couple!

*****

They arrived at a large chain supermarket nearby. Followed by a few camera crews, the three of them strolled past a group of elderly locals.

“Oh my, what handsome young men!” An auntie wearing a pink silk scarf beamed, squeezing past the crowd to stand in front of Ji Xiting. “Goodness, you look just like a big movie star.”

Ji Xiting said modestly, “You flatter me, Auntie. I’m merely a top-tier celebrity.”

“Oh, whatever ‘top-tier’ means, Auntie thinks you look very trendy!”

“Wow, Auntie, you even know the word ‘trendy’?” Qin Zheng chimed in.

The auntie shot him a look, then covered her mouth, whispering to Ji Xiting, “Young man, this friend of yours is handsome, but he doesn’t look like a good person. Is he bullying you?”

Qin Zheng: “…” This is exactly why I should stop playing psychopathic serial killers!

Ji Xiting couldn’t stop laughing. “Auntie, he hasn’t killed anyone. I mean—he’s not bullying me.”

The auntie still didn’t look convinced. She pulled Ji Xiting a few steps away and smiled again. “Young man, with looks like yours, you must still be single, right?”

“Ah, I just became single three days ago.”

Qin Zheng’s ears perked up. He stealthily edged closer, standing behind the auntie to eavesdrop.

Ji Xiting caught his eye as the auntie said, “Then how about I introduce a girlfriend to you? I know many beautiful, well-educated girls. I’m sure you’ll find someone you like.”

The more Qin Zheng heard, the darker his expression became. He narrowed his eyes at Ji Xiting. Can this guy go anywhere without attracting new admirers?

Ji Xiting curled his lips. “Well, Auntie, what kind of person do you think I could find?”

Qin Zheng gritted his teeth.

“You’re so handsome, polite, and wearing an ‘LV’ suit. You clearly aren’t lacking money,” the auntie rambled on.

Ji Xiting was genuinely impressed. “You even know Louis Vuitton, Auntie?”

“A matchmaker has to keep up with the times!” She tapped her WeChat. “Add me, and if I find a good match, I’ll introduce you. With your qualifications, you could easily find a girlfriend who graduated from a Top 2 university.”

Zheng Jingren leaned in, amazed. “You even know English! You know ‘Top 2’!”

The auntie gave him an impatient glance, but then her eyes lit up as she grabbed Zheng Jingren’s arm. “Oh! This young man is quite handsome too! Do you have a girlfriend?”

“I… I don’t.”

“Then add me too! I’ll find you a girlfriend.”

Zheng Jingren said awkwardly, “Auntie, I like men.”

The auntie blinked. Zheng Jingren felt a wave of relief and was about to make his escape when she gripped his arm again.

“Boyfriends are fine too!” she chirped. “Auntie has plenty of young men in my database as well!”

“Isn’t that a bit too hasty?! Did you even ask if I’m interested?” Zheng Jingren was floored.

Ji Xiting’s stomach hurt from holding back his laughter, but suddenly he felt a tug at his waist. Without a word, Qin Zheng pulled him toward the supermarket entrance.

“Hey, wait—” Zheng Jingren reached out in terror, only to be yanked back by the auntie.

“Young man, do you like being the ‘top’ or the ‘bottom’? Auntie needs to categorize you correctly!”

“You even know about that?!” Zheng Jingren crumbled. Has the BL genre invaded the 8:00 PM drama slots now?

*****

Qin Zheng half-pulled, half-dragged Ji Xiting to the snack aisle to hide from the predatory aunties.

“Let go.” Ji Xiting pried his hand off and smoothed his clothes. “Is it appropriate to be pulling and tugging like this in public?”

“Is it appropriate to be planning blind dates three days after a breakup?” Qin Zheng countered.

Ji Xiting laughed, crossing his arms as he looked him over.

Qin Zheng felt uneasy under his gaze. “What?”

“Do you even know what you’re saying?” Ji Xiting pointed to the side. “See that?”

Qin Zheng looked over. “The cameraman?”

“It’s the show’s logo. Have you forgotten what kind of show Nineteen Days of Enchantment is?”

They were literally on a dating show, yet here he was complaining about “planning blind dates.” It was hilarious.

Ji Xiting scoffed and turned to look at the snacks on the shelf. Qin Zheng pouted, muttering, “It’s a variety show, how could I forget?”

He pushed the cart after Ji Xiting, picking up several packs of jelly and pudding; things Ji Xiting liked to eat. Ji Xiting grabbed a few bags of chips and tossed them in.

“Want chocolate?”

“Yes.”

“Spicy strips?”

“Get a few more.”

Soon, the cart was overflowing with snacks.

【I mean, Ting-ge loves sweet and spicy food so much, how is his skin still that perfect?】

【Am I the only one enjoying this? They are a total match in everything—height, looks, and even temperament!】

【Temperament? One is a powder keg and the other lives in a vinegar vat. Honestly, the breakup wasn’t that surprising.】

【Bite your tongue! They aren’t really broken up! They’re clearly still in love!】

Zheng Jingren finally managed to escape the auntie. He arrived to find the cart full of junk food. “Are you two planning on eating this for dinner?”

“Why not?” Ji Xiting asked.

Zheng Jingren: “…”

Qin Zheng said, “Don’t listen to him. We’re getting groceries now.”

“But this is way too many snacks.”

“Don’t worry,” Qin Zheng nodded toward Ji Xiting. “If no one cooks, he really will eat this as a meal.”

Ji Xiting turned to glare at him. “Don’t badmouth me, I can hear you.”

“What did I say? Isn’t it the truth?”

“Of course not. You’re just afraid Old Zheng will fall for me, so you’re trying to ruin my image.”

Qin Zheng caught up to him. “What do you mean? You want him to fall for you?”

“Film Emperor Qin, this is a dating show. It’s perfectly normal for people to like each other.”

“And if someone falls for me? You wouldn’t care either?” Qin Zheng’s brow was tied in knots.

Ji Xiting shot him a glance and smiled without saying a word—the ultimate insult. Qin Zheng exploded, pushing the cart forward with a loud clatter, looking like a helplessly furious wolf.

Zheng Jingren walked behind them, his face a total blank.

【Tsk. Old Zheng is already numb.】

【I pity him. What did my man Zheng do to deserve this? Not only does he sleep alone, he has to swallow all this ‘dog food’ from a couple.】

【The only sane person in the house. Everyone, please be kind to him.】

*****

Two hours later, the three returned to the villa. Qin Zheng and Zheng Jingren each carried two large bags, and Ji Xiting carried one.

Only Gu Pei was in the living room, patrolling his “kingdom” in his electric wheelchair while listening to financial news… wait, no, it was celebrity gossip.

“Where are the others?” Qin Zheng placed a bag on Gu Pei’s lap before turning to take the bag from Ji Xiting’s hand.

Gu Pei held the bag, controlling his wheelchair to follow them into the kitchen. His silhouette looked remarkably determined and quite touching.

“Shen Ruan and Zhen Jiankang went to play ball. Si Wen is still working.”

Zheng Jingren took everyone’s bags and placed them on the counter. “Fine. I’ll go upstairs to change and then come down to cook.”

Qin Zheng looked at Ji Xiting. “Are you going?”

Ji Xiting was still in his suit and had been feeling uncomfortable for a while. However, maintaining the dignity of a top star, he gave a reserved nod.

Ji Xiting returned to his bedroom and, the moment the door closed, he stripped off his jacket and draped it over the camera.