After I Faked My Death, the Dog Emperor Completely Lost His Mind - Chapter 1

“Congratulations, Consort Shen! His Majesty has flipped your nameplate today!”

Shen Yuheng had just transmigrated into this book when he heard those words. He couldn’t help but furrow his brows.

He asked the System, “Are you serious? I have to attend the bed the moment I arrive?”

Are novels these days all this blunt and explicit?

【Actually, there are things even more blunt and explicit (twiddling fingers) (shy smile)】

The System let out a coy, mechanical “click-whirr.”

【The Emperor is forty-three years old this year, male. His preferences include multi-[Censored], riding-[Censored], outdoor-[Censored], slapping-[Censored] (the following 1,000 words of content unsuitable for public release have been omitted) 】

Shen Yuheng’s face turned the color of ash. “Stop, stop! I said stop!”

This is way too damn explicit! That old Emperor sure knows how to play dirty!

Seeing Shen Yuheng’s reluctant expression, the System added: 【If you give up on the transmigration now and return to your original world, the Host will die in a car accident within 0.001 seconds】

Option A: Give up, return to the original world, and pass away on the spot. Option B: Be sent to the Emperor’s bed for some “man-on-man” action.

Shen Yuheng’s mood: …Magnificent.

He let out a sigh, his elegant and gentle features twisting in distress. It was a picture of pure misery. A nearby maid couldn’t help but steal a few extra glances at him, her eyes filled with curiosity.

The original owner of this body loved to coat his face in heavy powders and rouge. Shen Yuheng, finding it uncomfortable, had casually wiped away a layer with a handkerchief. Beneath the gaudy makeup, a rare sense of clarity and purity emerged.

The little eunuch kneeling before him continued to offer congratulations, his voice a high-pitched, standard eunuch warble. “Heaven be praised! It’s a good thing you finally chased away that ‘baggage,’ Master! The Emperor is finally willing to see you!”

“What baggage?” Shen Yuheng had a sinking feeling.

The little eunuch froze, glanced around to ensure no one else was listening, and whispered, “Have you forgotten? It’s the Ninth Prince who returned to the palace recently.”

The System buzzed with excitement: 【It’s Xiao Jin! Host! That’s the one I mentioned】

Shen Yuheng didn’t need the reminder. At the mention of that name, his face had already turned pale.

“Where is Xiao Jin? Bring him back.”

The little eunuch was stunned, unable to believe his ears. He hurriedly prostrated himself and knocked his head against the floor several times.

“Master, have mercy! The Ninth Prince is the one the Emperor dislikes most! If it weren’t for the others in the palace making things difficult, we would have shaken off that jinx long ago!”

In the original novel, shortly after Shen Yuheng entered the palace, he had set his sights on the Ninth Prince, Xiao Jin, in an attempt to curry favor with the Emperor.

Years ago, Prince Xiao Jin had gone hunting with the other princes, accidentally fell into the water, and vanished. The palace searched for months without finding a trace, and everyone assumed he was dead. To everyone’s surprise, Xiao Jin returned ten years later.

The original owner assumed the Emperor would be overcome with paternal love upon reuniting with his long-lost son, so he brought Xiao Jin into his own palace. The result? The Emperor didn’t visit once in over half a month.

The original owner was so furious he couldn’t eat or sleep, and he took out all his resentment on Xiao Jin.

Shen Yuheng glanced toward a corner of the hall. Several bundles of varying sizes of rattan whips were neatly arranged clearly intended for Xiao Jin. That had to hurt.

No wonder that in the original book, the first person Xiao Jin killed after ascending the throne was Shen Yuheng. And it wasn’t just a simple execution; he was sentenced to be torn asunder by five horses!

What a sin!

Thinking of his own miserable future, Shen Yuheng insisted on bringing Xiao Jin back to salvage his image, regardless of the eunuch’s protests. When the little eunuch left to fetch the prince, he looked like his world was crumbling.

While waiting, Shen Yuheng reviewed the plot in his mind.

The novel he had transmigrated into was titled The Years the Gentle Shou Redeemed a Gloomy Male Ghost, a highly popular, melodramatic “dog blood” web novel. The protagonist, Su Cheng, had lived a miserable life as the son of a concubine. Due to an astrological omen, he, Shen Yuheng, and other innocent men were forced into the palace as male concubines.

In the deep palace, Su Cheng met the lead “Gong,” Xiao Jin. Xiao Jin’s life was even more wretched than his. Despite being the Ninth Prince of the Great Zhou Dynasty, he was framed because of his mother’s lowly birth and pushed into a raging river. He barely survived. It wasn’t until recently that General Shen found the dying Xiao Jin among a pile of corpses at the border and brought him back to the capital.

Although Xiao Jin was back in the palace, the old Emperor was superstitious. Believing the rumors that his son was an ill omen, he refused to even look at him. After the original owner took Xiao Jin in and realized the Emperor’s disdain, he grew resentful and threw Xiao Jin into the Cold Palace an act that was supposed to trigger the plot where the gentle protagonist, Su Cheng, took Xiao Jin in.

Shen Yuheng could guess the rest: the Shou chases the Gong, the Gong remains indifferent, the Shou gives up, and then the Gong regrets it, chasing his “wife” back with extreme desperation.

System: 【Normally, yes. Unfortunately, the author went on hiatus halfway through and abandoned the story. 】

【We let this world run on its own many times. Xiao Jin either killed Su Cheng or Su Cheng’s entire family. It was worlds away from the Happy Ending we wanted 】

【So, we concluded that Su Cheng’s personality was too weak to truly redeem Xiao Jin. 】

Shen Yuheng raised an eyebrow. “So, you let a piece of cannon fodder like me do the redeeming?”

The System gave a guilty-sounding “Hehe.”

【Host, you are a redemption expert hand-picked by our Transmigration Bureau! Go for it! You can do it! 】

Before Shen Yuheng could respond, the sound of hurried, disorganized footsteps came from outside.

The little eunuch rushed in with his head bowed. “Master, the Ninth Prince has returned.”

Shen Yuheng was prepared to see a scrawny, crying child stumble in. Instead, a figure stepped into the hall like a ghost.

The gazes of the two men one seated, one standing collided.

The youth had messy black hair and a deathly pale complexion. He had bitten his lip, leaving a bright red mark. He looked to be about sixteen or seventeen, wearing tattered, ill-fitting imperial robes. He stared directly at Shen Yuheng, his dark eyes hiding a trace of predatory ruthlessness.

They locked eyes for a moment. Before Shen Yuheng could even register his features, there was a loud thud.

Xiao Jin had dropped heavily to his knees.

Shen Yuheng froze. Then, the youth slammed his head against the floor in a deep kowtow, exposing his pale nape to Shen Yuheng. It was a posture of absolute submission.

The little eunuch nearby cast a contemptuous glance at Xiao Jin. Why fear a prince so lowly he had to kowtow to a male concubine? Not only did the Emperor dislike Xiao Jin, but even the lowest-ranking servants looked down on him. Even the silent maids in Shen Yuheng’s palace wore expressions of mockery, waiting for a show.

Shen Yuheng frowned, but not out of displeasure as the others expected.

“Why are you kneeling? Get up.”

He isn’t even wearing long johns. Kneeling on this cold floor, does he want to get chronic leg pain?

As he spoke, Shen Yuheng reached out. His slender, well-defined fingers gripped Xiao Jin’s arm through his sleeve, pulling him up.

Beneath the wide sleeve, the youth’s thin forearm felt as cold as a layer of ice. The moment Shen Yuheng touched him, Xiao Jin stiffened unnaturally.

Shen Yuheng’s hand was the polar opposite of his warm and smooth. Touching Xiao Jin’s cracked skin felt like a drop of fragrant, soft honey.

Earlier that morning, the eunuch who had kicked Xiao Jin out to the Cold Palace had bragged that with Xiao Jin gone, Shen Yuheng could finally go serve the Emperor…

Shen Yuheng didn’t notice the strange look in Xiao Jin’s eyes; he was too busy inspecting the boy’s body. Up close, the wounds were even more horrifying.

Before transmigrating, Shen Yuheng’s profession was a kindergarten teacher a professional at taking care of “cubs.” In the modern world, children were raised to be fair and chubby, like little marshmallows. Xiao Jin was seventeen, yet he was severely malnourished, his body covered in chilblains, whip marks, and bloody gashes.

Despite being a prince of the realm, he had suffered such immense hardship. And after finally regaining his status and returning to the palace, his life remained this miserable.

No wonder Xiao Jin turned into that “gloomy male ghost” from the book.

Although the System told Shen Yuheng he needed to “redeem” Xiao Jin, he felt this wasn’t redemption—it was a rescue mission. Rescuing a poor child persecuted by the feudal system.

Thinking this, Shen Yuheng felt the metaphorical “Young Pioneer’s red scarf” on his chest glow even brighter with righteous duty.

He crouched down, taking Xiao Jin’s chilblain-covered hands into his own, trying to recall how to treat frostbite. Sensing something, Shen Yuheng instinctively looked up and was suddenly struck by a wave of cold dread.

Xiao Jin, who had been submissively bowing his head just a moment ago, was now staring at him fixedly with a cold, vacant gaze. Despite kneeling on the ground, he exuded a terrifying sense of aggression.

“Consort Shen,” Xiao Jin suddenly spoke, his blood-streaked lips curling into a sinister smile. “Are you not going to punish me today?”

Shen Yuheng’s hand instinctively recoiled, feeling as though a snake had licked his forearm.

“…Punish? Of course I’m going to punish you!”

Shen Yuheng flicked his sleeves and retreated, calling out coldly to the maids: “Bring two basins of water. One cold, and one hot. Scalding. Hot.”

Xiao Jin watched him with a smile, his calm demeanor seemingly saying, “As expected.”

The System panicked, quickly shouting: 【Host! Think twice! Don’t forget your ‘Bad Ending’ is…】

“I haven’t forgotten. It’s just being torn apart by horses, right?” Shen Yuheng reclined lazily in his gold-threaded wooden chair, casting a distant glance at Xiao Jin. “This kid is too sensitive. If I want to save him, I can’t be too direct.”

In the original book, while Xiao Jin wasn’t favored by the old Emperor, he had inherited the Emperor’s eccentric and suspicious nature. Those who worked under him said he had “three eyes” the moment he suspected someone of being suspicious, they would vanish from the world the very next day.

If Shen Yuheng suddenly changed his personality, stopped whipping Xiao Jin, and started caring for him meticulously, that would be truly suspicious.

When the maids brought the hot and cold water, Shen Yuheng leaned over the hot basin. Suddenly, the hairpin from his head fell with a splash into the water.

“Tsk.” Shen Yuheng waved his hand and pointed at a maid. “You, come here. Fish the hairpin out.”

The maid walked over in fear, hesitating as she looked at the steaming, boiling water. At this temperature, if she put her hand in, it would be cooked medium-well!

Shen Yuheng feigned impatience. “Take it outside to do it. Don’t splash and dirty my bedchamber.”

The two maids hurriedly carried the bucket of scalding water out. Shen Yuheng pretended to wait irritably for a moment until they returned with the hairpin and the bucket. He tossed the hairpin aside and pointed at Xiao Jin. “You. Come here.”

As Xiao Jin approached, the corners of Shen Yuheng’s mouth curled into that familiar, chilling smirk. The eunuchs and maids quickly excused themselves, not wanting to interfere with their Master’s “pleasure.”

Their young master, though elegantly dressed, was truly ruthless. His favorite pastime was using various torture instruments to leave Xiao Jin on the brink of death.

Once the servants were gone, only the two of them remained in the hall.

Shen Yuheng looked toward the door and sighed. When he turned back to Xiao Jin, he resumed his “wicked stepmother” persona.

“Hands! Stick them out! Hurry up!”

“Put them in!”

“What? You think it’s hot? It’s supposed to be! It would be best if it scorched a layer of your skin off.”

Xiao Jin glanced at Shen Yuheng. The young male consort was born with gentle, soft features, yet his personality was sharp and cruel a complete mismatch for his face.

Xiao Jin withdrew his gaze expressionlessly. Under Shen Yuheng’s urging, he bit his lip and plunged both hands into the water.

He had prepared himself for the burn, but in that instant, his furrowed brows relaxed slightly. Perhaps because the maid had taken the water outside for a while, it wasn’t actually scalding. In fact, it was a long-awaited warm, comfortable temperature.

However, a second later, Xiao Jin’s brows knit together again.

The warm water seemed to have a life of its own, frantically burrowing into every crack and crevice on the back of his rough hands. For a moment, it felt as if a hundred venomous insects were gnawing at his palms simultaneously, bringing an intense mix of pain and itching.

Seeing Xiao Jin try to pull his hands out of the bucket, Shen Yuheng quickly held him down with all his might. “Don’t you dare take them out! Do you hear me?!”

He had thought holding down a scrawny child would be easy, but Shen Yuheng had to use every ounce of his strength just to barely restrain Xiao Jin.

He was as exhausted as if he had just finished a grueling 12-hour shift.

My goodness! Why is it so hard just to treat your frostbite?!