After Her Death, They Begged for Forgiveness - Chapter 39

“I think I should go.”

Xu Bingqi forced herself to regulate her breathing before standing up.

The uncontrollable fear far outweighed reason, she couldn’t predict what might happen if she stayed any longer.

She needed to leave quickly while she could still somewhat control her words, lest she frighten the already flustered Song Guanjin even more.

None of what happened today was Song Guanjin’s fault.

“Sister, are you alright now?”

Song Guanjin had never seen Xu Bingqi so pale and fragile, as if a gentle breeze could knock her over. Even when Xu Bingqi had faced online harassment before, she had calmly and steadily presented evidence. Song Guanjin never expected her confession to provoke such a strong reaction.

It was as if being with her was something terrifying.

Xu Bingqi shook her head slightly. Even though in this life, she had almost no contact with Xu Qingci and the others, the wounds they had inflicted in her previous life felt like brands seared deep into her soul.

Xu Bingqi laughed at herself mockingly, it turned out she was far more fragile than she had imagined.

Song Guanjin stood there helplessly, watching Xu Bingqi walk toward the door. She didn’t know what to do; she didn’t even dare to reach out and hold her sister’s hand again.

Doing so might only make Xu Bingqi feel worse.

“Sister, I’m sorry.”

Song Guanjin whispered her apology just before Xu Bingqi left.

She really shouldn’t have been so impulsive and ruined what had been such a promising situation.

And it seemed she had thoroughly frightened her sister.

“It’s fine, it’s not your fault. This is my own issue.”

Xu Bingqi’s face remained as pale as paper as she mechanically formed her words: “Don’t let this affect your mood. Do your best tomorrow.”

After speaking, she felt deeply hypocritical, how could Song Guanjin not be affected when her reaction to the rejection had been so extreme?

It seemed she truly had a talent for ruining everything.

In her past life, it only affected herself, but now, reborn, she was even affecting her friends.

Xu Bingqi’s back was as stiff as a board, and she didn’t dare look back to see the expression on Song Guanjin’s face.

Maybe Xu Qingci had been right all along, she would always be this kind of cowardly person.

Without lingering, Xu Bingqi opened the door and walked out immediately after speaking.

Perhaps she really should get checked for psychological issues.

Pretending to be a normal person was like blowing bubbles, outwardly perfect and smooth, even shimmering with the illusory glow of a normal life under the sunlight, but in reality, fragile and brittle. They could shatter in an instant, just like today, exposing her inherently abnormal nature.

In a daze, Xu Bingqi returned to her hotel and collapsed onto the bed.

Reason reminded her to eat and, after that, to visit the psychiatric department at the hospital for a check-up, but she didn’t even have the strength to lift her hand.

Xu Bingqi felt as if her entire being was sinking into a mire of mud.

Yet, in this life, everything had been going so smoothly. She had a career and future brighter than in her previous life and had completely distanced herself from those who, like maggots clinging to bone, had tried to drag her back into the abyss.

But she seemed even more fragile than before her rebirth.

Lying on the bed, Xu Bingqi let her mind go blank, watching as the sky outside the window shifted from bright to dim, the sunlight receding inch by inch while dusk slowly seeped into the room like an incoming tide.

She sank into self-loathing and spent the entire day doing nothing.

She didn’t even manage to complete the simple task of making an appointment at the hospital’s psychiatry department.

Xu Bingqi slowly sat up, paused for a moment, then stood and drew the heavy curtains, blocking out the gradually dimming daylight.

As if doing so could help her escape the reality that night was falling.

Xu Bingqi stared silently at the curtains for a while, and in her daze, she thought she heard a knocking sound.

She withdrew her gaze, momentarily unsure whether it was her imagination playing tricks on her.

She hadn’t requested any hotel services.

But then she heard the sound of a key card being swiped.

Xu Bingqi looked over with a mix of surprise and annoyance, only to see the very people who had caused her psychological issues.

“Get out.”

Xu Bingqi had lost all her former composure.

In the past, even at her angriest, she rarely swore and would patiently reason with others.

But now, she simply couldn’t bring herself to speak civilly to these people.

Her patience and tolerance for this group had been completely exhausted.

“Bingqi, what are you saying?”

Xu Qingci had never seen her eldest daughter look so disgusted, as if she were staring at discarded trash or some other filth.

She had also never heard Xu Bingqi speak so harshly, her voice as cold as a wind blowing from an ancient tomb.

Feeling humiliated in front of Gu Nan and Gu Xiaozhou, Xu Qingci raised her voice sharply, “Xu Bingqi!”

But her voice was quickly cut off by a crisp, shattering sound.

A glass exploded at their feet, shards scattering across the floor, reflecting a cold gleam in the dim light.

“Get out.”

Xu Bingqi picked up a second glass and repeated her demand.

She didn’t care whether the thrown glass might actually hurt someone. These people had barged into her hotel room without her permission she was fully justified in defending herself.

Amid the scattered glass shards, Xu Qingci silently took a step back.

She had never seen her eldest daughter so hysterical before, and the sudden sight of it filled her with a sense of dread.

Moreover, Xu Bingqi truly didn’t seem to care whether the glass shards might cut her.

The daughter who used to fret over a chapped lip now didn’t hesitate to throw a glass at her.

It felt as though something had changed abruptly, too quickly for her to grasp.

Gu Nan retreated even faster than Xu Qingci. She had never witnessed such a scene, let alone seen Xu Bingqi so unhinged.

She had thought today would be a simple gathering over a meal, where they could reconcile over drinks.

The only one who remained relatively calm was Gu Xiaozhou.

The last time she had seen Xu Bingqi, she had already sensed her ruthlessness.

She had long abandoned Xu Qingci’s naive hope that Xu Bingqi would forgive them.

Still, she hadn’t expected Xu Bingqi to react so violently, not even sparing a thought for Xu Qingci’s presence.

Seeing that the group showed no signs of leaving, Xu Bingqi threw the second glass in annoyance.

Her thoughts were in chaos, with only a shred of rationality left, and her actions were no longer under her full control.

Her hands trembled slightly.

The second glass traced a perfect arc through the air, and as it shattered, a shard grazed Xu Qingci’s cheek, leaving a faint trail of blood.

It wasn’t until the blood trickled down a few centimeters and dried on her skin that Xu Qingci finally registered what had happened.

A sharp, stinging pain spread across her cheek, threading its way along her nerves until it coiled tightly around her heart.

She had never imagined Xu Bingqi would treat her this way.

Gu Nan had already taken out tissues and a bandage, attempting to dress Xu Qingci’s wound.

“Bingqi, how could you do this?”

Xu Bingqi said nothing. After her outburst, she seemed drained of all energy.

Slumped against the back of her chair, she stared indifferently at the shattered fragments on the floor.

Having vented her rage, she couldn’t be bothered to lift a finger.

“Please clean up the mess before you leave.”

Xu Bingqi’s fingertips trembled uncontrollably. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

“What kind of attitude is that?”

Gu Nan wanted to say more, but she felt a tug on her sleeve. Glancing down, she saw Xu Qingci signaling her to stop.

She noticed Xu Bingqi’s trembling fingers.

For the first time, Xu Qingci clearly sensed that her daughter might not be entirely well.

What had gone wrong? Was it the result of years of pressure building up until it exploded like this?

But she had only wanted her eldest daughter to be as capable and sensible as Jiang Ruo.

Gu Xiaozhou glanced at the two elders still standing frozen in place, sighed silently, and began sweeping up the broken glass.

She could feel Xu Bingqi’s behavior growing increasingly volatile.

It was all because of her.

Her betrayal had dealt Xu Bingqi a devastating blow.

She needed to try harder to meet Xu Bingqi’s expectations.

“Oh, by the way, why hasn’t Mrs. Xu mentioned Jiang Ruo lately?”

Embracing the principle that if she was miserable, everyone else should be too, Xu Bingqi spoke with deliberate malice. “I’m not used to it.”

Xu Qingci opened her mouth to speak but swallowed the words that had risen to her lips.

Xu Bingqi was too unstable right now, she didn’t dare provoke her further.

She had a feeling that if Jiang Ruo’s name came up again, the situation would spiral even further out of control.

“Since none of you want to talk about it, I’ll take over.”

Xu Bingqi picked up the only intact glass left. Noticing the others’ tense stillness, she smiled faintly and took a sip of water.

“Mrs. Xu’s well-behaved, perfect daughter, Jiang Ruo, has found herself a talented and handsome boyfriend.”

In the novel Pampered Darling, Jiang Ruo only revealed her relationship to Xu Qingci after winning Best Actress and Xiao Hua’s business had taken off. That was why Xu Qingci had been so pleased with their marriage.

Xu Bingqi hadn’t cared about other people’s love lives before, but thinking about that absurd novel and Xu Qingci standing there now, urging her to turn over a new leaf, a spiteful idea took root in her mind.

If the novel painted her, the despised villainess, as trying to sabotage the protagonists’ relationship, then she might as well live up to the role, why bear the blame for nothing?

“That handsome boyfriend of hers is just waiting to rely on the Xu family to live off her wealth.” Xu Bingqi set down her cup. “Not long ago, that man even stopped me to inquire about the Xu family’s situation.”

Back when Xiao Hua had stopped her on the street, she had already guided him to speculate about Jiang Ruo’s identity. If after all this time Xiao Hua still couldn’t figure out Jiang Ruo’s true identity, he would truly be deserving of the title “useless trash.”

Xu Bingqi was certain that once Xiao Hua learned Jiang Ruo’s true identity, he would cling to her like a stubborn plaster. With Xu Qingci’s ability to quickly uncover even which hotel she was staying at, discovering Jiang Ruo’s relationship with Xiao Hua wouldn’t be difficult.

The plan had been laid out, and everything was now clear.

If Xu Qingci uncovered all this, Jiang Ruo and Xiao Hua’s relationship would be exposed prematurely, and this strange novel plot would collapse even faster.

Xu Qingci’s first reaction was that Xu Bingqi was lying.

How could Jiang Ruo possibly have time to date when she was at the film set every day? Moreover, she didn’t believe Jiang Ruo would choose a man who coveted the Xu family’s wealth.

But did Xu Bingqi have any reason to lie? She clearly didn’t even want to return to the Xu family anymore.

Surprised by Xu Qingci’s prolonged silence, Xu Bingqi slightly frowned and looked in her direction.

She saw Xu Qingci deep in thought.

But it was already too late.

If before her rebirth Xu Qingci had seriously considered her words for even a second, she wouldn’t have become this disheartened.

Unfortunately, only after she had completely grown cold did Xu Qingci start taking her unsupported claims seriously.

But she was no longer the person who would be overjoyed just because Xu Qingci listened to her seriously.

Xu Bingqi couldn’t help but let out a scornful laugh.

“Since Madam Xu still has some brains left, I’ll provide a recording as evidence.”

Lazily taking out her phone, Xu Bingqi played the recording of her conversation with Xiao Hua.

[“Just a stray dog kicked out by the Xu family, still thinking you’re the Xu family’s young mistress? If someone hadn’t asked me to find you, do you think I’d spare you a second glance?”]

[“Asked by someone?”]

[“She’s a gentle, considerate beauty with a keen eye for talent nothing like someone like you.”]

[“Tall nose bridge, with a red mole between the eyebrows?”]

[“You know that person? Do you know who she is?”]

After playing the recording, Xu Bingqi smiled and said, “What a reliable man, dating without even knowing his girlfriend’s identity.”

When Xu Qingci heard “stray dog,” her brow twitched violently.

So in other people’s eyes, Xu Bingqi was just a stray dog who had been driven out?

Xu Qingci lowered her head.

She didn’t dare look at Xu Bingqi’s expression, even though her face remained calm.

In fact, it was precisely because Xu Bingqi looked calm, even faintly smiling, that she didn’t dare look.

Because that could only mean Xu Bingqi had grown accustomed to such comments.

A sharp pain spread from deep within Xu Qingci’s chest, each heartbeat accompanied by a twinge of agony.

She seemed to vaguely understand why Xu Bingqi had moved out.

If Xu Bingqi could remain calm after hearing such taunts after moving out, it could only mean she had heard them too many times before.

Even Gu Xiaozhou, who was cleaning up the broken glass, paused in her movements.

She still remembered the harsh words she had previously directed at Xu Bingqi.

Perhaps in Xu Bingqi’s eyes, there was no difference between her and someone like Xiao Hua.

Xu Qingci froze for a moment, then spoke with difficulty, “I won’t agree to them dating.”

From now on, she would never mock her eldest daughter in front of others again. Moreover, if she ever heard anyone else mocking her eldest daughter, she would deal with the matter seriously.

Xu Bingqi curled her lips indifferently, “That has nothing to do with me.”

“But I’d still suggest that you look into Xiao Hua’s company’s tax records. You might just find an unexpected surprise.”

Xu Qingci would undoubtedly be much faster at investigating such matters than she would. Adhering to her principle of letting others handle trouble whenever possible, Xu Bingqi offered this gentle reminder.

After fully venting her emotions, Xu Bingqi lay back in the recliner and closed her eyes peacefully. “Once you’ve cleaned the room, you can get out.”

She felt that she had become a much worse person, but at the same time, she also felt much lighter.

After letting it all out, she seemed to have found the motivation to go for her psychological check-up tomorrow.

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