After Her Death, They Begged for Forgiveness - Chapter 33
At this moment, Xu Bingqi’s mind resembled a battlefield ravaged by a storm, leaving only chaos in its wake.
The conversation with Jiang Ruo had been so overwhelming that she couldn’t immediately respond to Song Guanjin.
Xu Bingqi carefully recalled the details of her exchange with Jiang Ruo, feeling as though all the information was shrouded in a dense fog so close, yet impossible to grasp clearly.
Even if Jiang Ruo also knew she was inside a book, how could she so accurately deduce that Xu Bingqi had experienced rebirth?
The butterfly effect had stirred up a storm, how could Jiang Ruo trace it back to its origin and confirm it was Xu Bingqi?
After much contemplation, Xu Bingqi could only conclude that Jiang Ruo was also aware of the entire plot of Favor the Beloved, Adored by All. She sighed softly. Perhaps Jiang Ruo had merely noticed that Xu Bingqi’s actions deviated from the novel’s storyline.
But even so, why was Jiang Ruo so certain that Xu Bingqi had died once?
Aside from the possibility of her having died and been reborn, there was also the chance that Xu Bingqi had simply stumbled upon the novel’s plot by accident.
How could Jiang Ruo be so sure she had died?
Unless, Jiang Ruo was also a reborn soul.
This thought burst into Xu Bingqi’s mind like a reckless bird crashing headlong into her consciousness.
Xu Bingqi frowned slightly, suddenly recalling something she had been overlooking all along.
Would the novel’s conclusion mark the end of this world?
Did the story’s finale signify the world’s abrupt collapse?
Then, she shook her head gently, dismissing this wild notion. The world had existed long before the novel’s events began.
Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to this world after the novel reached its end.
“Sister, come with me, please.”
Seeing that Xu Bingqi had yet to respond, Song Guanjin pursed her lips in displeasure. “Or do you not like the interior design?”
Snapping out of her thoughts, Xu Bingqi shook her head. “It’s not that.”
How could she be so picky?
“Too much has happened today, and I haven’t sorted through it all yet. Could you give me some time to think it over?”
Xu Bingqi spoke gently, then smiled. “Guanjin, thank you for your kindness.”
Song Guanjin was momentarily captivated by Xu Bingqi’s smile before turning away. “Well, think it over carefully. I’d be heartbroken if you didn’t come.”
What a manipulative human. Even though she was the one offering help, it felt as though she were the one pleading.
The cat felt her pride take a devastating blow.
Back when she hadn’t yet taken human form, any cat that dared approach her territory would be sent flying meters away with a swift barrage of paw strikes.
But now, in human form, she was practically begging the other to move in, and the other person had the nerve to hesitate.
She was really regressing.
Song Guanjin sighed gloomily, stealing another glance at Xu Bingqi. Seeing that the other was still lost in thought, she lowered her head dejectedly.
After Jiang Ruo’s departure, Xu Bingqi’s willingness to move into Song Guanjin’s home had dwindled to almost nothing.
The current situation was unclear, and she felt as though she were navigating treacherous waters, surrounded by hidden dangers. If she rashly accepted Song Guanjin’s offer, she might very well drag the other down with her.
Xu Bingqi fully understood the complexity of the situation, yet she couldn’t possibly share all her analysis with Song Guanjin. She feared that after hearing it, Song Guanjin might voluntarily involve herself just to help her.
Xu Bingqi sighed silently.
Song Guanjin was indeed a character never mentioned in the novel Favoritism: The Beloved Harem Protagonist. If Song Guanjin had been a supporting character in the book, Jiang Ruo wouldn’t have vaguely referred to her earlier as “perhaps a single snowflake in an avalanche.”
Therefore, she absolutely must not drag Song Guanjin into this.
Taking a deep breath, Xu Bingqi decided to reject Song Guanjin’s kind offer right away to avoid complications.
“Guanjin, thank you so much for your kindness,” Xu Bingqi said carefully, avoiding eye contact as she weighed her words. “I can’t live with a friend. I’m really sorry.”
“Is it because of your sexual orientation?”
Song Guanjin grasped Xu Bingqi’s wrist, her fingertips stroking the warm skin upon contact, unwilling to let go.
She was afraid her sister might disappear in some unexpected moment.
“No,” Xu Bingqi replied, unable to reveal the truth, so she soothed instead. “It’s my own issue.”
Xu Bingqi planned to attribute everything to her own psychological problems.
“Guanjin, do you remember what Jiang Ruo said earlier about me being reborn?”
Song Guanjin’s tears hadn’t fully formed yet; she blinked at Xu Bingqi’s question.
Her sister had never brought this up before.
It seemed she knew nothing about her sister’s past.
Of course, her sister knew nothing about her past either.
Song Guanjin calmed down slightly.
The anxious red tint in her jade-green eyes gradually faded as rationality regained control.
“I remember.”
But the cat was still sulking, answering reluctantly in a small voice.
“In my previous life, I ended up completely alone,” Xu Bingqi said calmly, as if recounting someone else’s story. “My family and friends all abandoned me, eventually cutting ties and hurling insults at me.”
“But a long time ago, we had many happy years together.”
Xu Bingqi paused before smiling again. “So after being reborn, I’m terrified of loss. Especially during every interaction, I can’t help but imagine the end of the relationship.”
“Guanjin, you’re my only friend since I was reborn.”
Song Guanjin’s eyes lit up briefly, but then Xu Bingqi continued, “After being reborn, I’ve still interacted with many people some were clients, some were partners, some were my fans. But I’m not afraid of losing them. I only worry about losing you.”
“So, I can’t convince myself to move into your place. This isn’t your problem, it’s mine.”
The light in Song Guanjin’s eyes flickered violently before extinguishing completely.
Xu Bingqi’s words were gentle, but the cat still felt her heart ache, as if she’d bitten into an unripe fruit.
She had been rejected, but she felt even sadder for Xu Bingqi. If her sister hadn’t gone through all that, they would have smoothly moved in together, becoming each other’s one and only.
But now her sister only said they were friends, even if they were only friends.
Song Guanjin’s heart filled with resentment toward those hateful villains.
They all feigned concern for Xu Bingqi, yet in both her previous life and this one, they had never done a single good deed. Instead, they put on a condescending, charitable facade while pushing Xu Bingqi closer to the edge of the cliff.
Now, because of the actions of those villains, her sister no longer dared to indulge in any intimate relationships.
“Sister, please don’t abandon me. I won’t be like them.”
Song Guanjin looked up at Xu Bingqi, her eyes filled with attachment and determination. She gently held onto Xu Bingqi’s wrist, unwilling to let go.
“I’ll wait for you.”
Then, she added softly.
She chose to be a tolerant cat, generously forgiving this human who had already suffered so much in life.
Xu Bingqi saw the reluctance in Song Guanjin’s eyes and suddenly felt a strange, unprecedented emotion.
It was like drinking a cup of coffee that had been sweetened but left unstirred. The first sip brought a bitter taste that quickly filled her mouth, but the second sip carried faint traces of sweetness, like a glimmer of light in the darkness.
What a strange feeling.
Xu Bingqi was lost in this peculiar emotional whirlpool, trying to discern where this feeling came from.
Perhaps, it was just overwhelming gratitude?
“If you want to see Pomegranate, you can come anytime, just let me know in advance.”
Seeing that Xu Bingqi’s expression showed no resistance, the cat cautiously added another request.
What’s the big deal about turning back into a cat a few more times and going to the hospital for a few shots?
A little cat knows when to yield and when to stand firm. As long as it could attract Xu Bingqi, she could endure it!
Xu Bingqi was still immersed in her gratitude, so she agreed: “Alright, I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long.”
For over a month, she had been avoiding Xu Qingci and the others.
Even today, she was considering moving away as soon as possible because of Gu Xiaozhou and Jiang Ruo’s arrival.
She had been running for far too long.
But now, she had to face a question: What would happen after moving?
If Xu Qingci and the others found her again, would she just move once more?
If they accidentally discovered her newly created account, would she delete it again?
Would she spend her days in constant fear, wasting all her time entangled with those people?
But she wasn’t the one at fault, why should she be the one hiding?
Even though she had repeatedly given in, Jiang Ruo still threatened her with the “novel’s plot.”
Xu Bingqi bit her lip. She wanted to fight back completely.
She wanted to utterly destroy this ridiculous and illogical novel plot, to openly promote her music compositions, to let everyone know that these popular songs were written by the so-called “useless eldest daughter of the Xu family.”
Not like now, where she even had to change her IP address.
She didn’t want to keep hiding anymore, nor did she want to burden Song Guanjin with worry because of these troubles.
Moreover, if she could resolve all of this completely, perhaps every night from now on, she wouldn’t be dragged back into the terrifying, hellish nightmares of her past life, tormented by fear.
“I will resolve all of this completely, and then I’ll see a psychologist.”
Xu Bingqi held Song Guanjin’s hand in return. “After that, I can live just like a normal person.”
Under Song Guanjin’s expectant gaze, she spoke earnestly and firmly: “That way, we can truly interact like real friends.”
Xu Bingqi knew she might have some attachment avoidance tendencies. Although she usually tried her best to control herself, she might still unintentionally hurt her friends.
She regularly visited a psychologist to thoroughly remove the psychological scars from her past life.
The cat nodded seriously, then felt something wasn’t quite right after agreeing.
Was she really asking her sister to move in with her just to take care of a friend?