After Forgetting Two Exes - Chapter 40

It was past midnight by the time she returned to the Yunxing Sect.

Ji Xunyue walked slowly toward her room, her thoughts blending into the silent, desolate night, cleansed by the evening breeze. Being able to resolve the knot in her heart with Shi Yuan brought her great comfort. She had once thought her life would consist only of tedious administrative affairs and secluded cultivation; her experiences in the Immortal Realm had breathed vivid life back into her joy and sorrow. She began to miss the happiness and grief of her youth, attempting to touch the memories she had once feared to revisit and speaking candidly about the past with others.

As she crossed the corridor, she reached the entrance to her small courtyard. Someone had cast a spell; the courtyard was lit with a soft, hazy glow that illuminated every plant and tree. Ji Xunyue stopped in her tracks, having a fair idea of who was waiting for her.

It was Xuan Huai.

A flicker of panic flashed through her heart, but she quickly steadied herself. She had been absent from the entire banquet—indeed, from the sect itself—so it was only natural for a master to worry about a disciple’s safety. She did not know if her fabricated reason would convince him, yet she had a faint feeling he would believe her; he always accepted her fragile, flaw-ridden excuses.

Still, even Shi Yuan had sensed her oddity. Xuan Huai had spent much more time with her; could he truly harbor no suspicion at all? Even if he did suspect her, he could never imagine she was the real Ji Xunyue. With that thought, she felt slightly more at ease, steadied her nerves, and walked into the courtyard.

From a distance, she saw Xuan Huai’s tall, elegant back. He looked unexpectedly lonely. Though she lightened her steps, she still disturbed him. Xuan Huai turned around and gazed at her silently. His features were as cold and clear as ever, but his eyes held emotions she could not quite decipher.

Ji Xunyue suddenly found herself speechless, unable even to call out to him. Xuan Huai remained equally silent, the two of them in a standoff as a strange atmosphere spread between them. After an unknown amount of time, he let out a soft sigh, breaking the silence first.

“You are back?”

“Yes.”

Ji Xunyue gave a short response, preparing to offer her pre-written excuse for her late return. Usually, he would believe her, offer a few words of concern, tell her to rest early, and then leave. She might probe into his unusual behavior, but it would likely lead to nothing. Today should have ended like that; when they met tomorrow, they would be nothing more than an ordinary master and disciple.

However, Xuan Huai’s reaction was entirely different from her expectations. He frowned slightly, still looking at her with a complex gaze, remaining silent for a long time. This time, he did not accept her excuse.

Could he suspect her identity?

Her heart skipped a beat. Ji Xunyue maintained her outward composure and met his gaze, yet the early summer breeze made her heart sway. Xuan Huai’s eyes grew darker and darker, and she could not say a single word, waiting for him to break the balance they had both tried so hard to maintain.

It seemed today would not end quietly. Facing the impending storm, she was afraid—afraid their relationship could never return to what it was—but she was also expectant, hoping to finally be sincere with him. She did not want to sink into endless internal conflict; it was better to confess her identity and give everything an explanation, regardless of whether the outcome was good or bad.

Then, Xuan Huai spoke in a low voice.

“Do you… like Shi Yuan?”

His voice was so soft that Ji Xunyue thought she had misheard him. He did not ask who she was, he did not care about her bold actions, he did not ask why her cultivation had risen so fast; he simply asked if she liked Shi Yuan.

For some reason, she felt a wave of relief. So that was it. Xuan Huai saw her constant closeness with Shi Yuan and assumed she liked him. Worried that she was trapped in an unrequited love, he had waited for her this late to counsel her. All his silence and hesitation stemmed from a misunderstanding. Once she explained it clearly, everything would return to normal.

Yet, why did she also feel a sense of disappointment? She could not say what kind of situation she truly hoped for. Just a moment ago, she was terrified of him finding out her identity—of him mocking the great Demon Lord for becoming his disciple just for revenge, only to target the wrong person and call the man she had abandoned “Uncle Master.”

She felt it was almost laughable. The person she liked truly would not give her a response; he could not stand aside as a bystander to counsel her, because the person she truly liked was him. Should she explain clearly, or let everything become more chaotic until both sides were wounded?

Ji Xunyue had her answer. She smiled. “Why does Master ask such a question?”

She threw the question back to him, wanting to hear him explain his reasons before she decided how the matter would proceed. However, her expectation was wrong once again.

Xuan Huai looked at her fixedly and asked back, “Do I… not have the right to ask?”

Right? As her master, he certainly had the right to ask about her affairs. But he did not look like he was showing concern; rather, he showed a persistent need to get to the bottom of it. The more stubborn he became, the more she wanted to oppose him.

Ji Xunyue retaliated without hesitation. “Of course you may ask, but I wonder what kind of answer Master wants to hear?”

A question that could have been easily answered, yet she insisted on being evasive. She refused to give him an answer, wanting to see more of his emotions and hear his true thoughts. They repeatedly tested each other, waiting for one of them to yield.

After several rounds of this contest, Ji Xunyue gained the upper hand. Xuan Huai fell silent again. He lowered his eyes and did not speak for a long time. Just as she thought the conversation was about to end abruptly, he suddenly looked up. The emotions in his eyes were even stronger than before, making her heart tighten.

“You truly like Shi Yuan, do you not?”

“…”

His words were so certain that Ji Xunyue found herself unable to argue, nor could she guess what answer he was looking for. Seeing her silence, Xuan Huai walked toward her and stopped right in front of her, standing extremely close. In the absolute silence, their breathing was clearly audible.

Xuan Huai slowly raised a hand and very gently touched her cheek. He had never made such an intimate gesture. Ji Xunyue stared at his face in a daze, the place where his palm touched her skin feeling scalding hot.

Xuan Huai laughed self-deprecatingly and spoke. His voice was hoarse, and the corners of his eyes were tinged with red. “Is Shi Yuan truly that good? So good that you remember neither me nor him, yet you still only choose him?”

Ji Xunyue’s heart was in turmoil because of his actions. When she snapped back to reality, she only felt a sense of bewilderment, unable to think calmly about his words. Did he treat her as a past lover? Was it that “Ye Jinyue” was not allowed to like Shi Yuan? So he was resentful, he was questioning her.

What right did he have?

Suppressing her chaotic thoughts, Ji Xunyue said coldly, “I do not understand what Master is talking about. What do you mean by me not remembering you?”

Of course she wouldn’t remember him; she wasn’t the person in his memories. But Xuan Huai seemed to be struck in a painful spot by her words. His eyelashes trembled, and his expression turned sorrowful. “The same answer again. A-Yue… you are so cruel.”

Ji Xunyue remembered that he had called her that once in a moment of urgency. It turned out he wasn’t calling her. She took a step back, the sadness in her heart rising like a tide, wave after wave.

“Master must be drunk and has mistaken me for someone else.”

Yet she knew that when he approached her just now, there was no scent of alcohol on him.

Xuan Huai silently withdrew his hand. “You say I have the wrong person? Where is the mistake?” He gave a short laugh. “Ji Xunyue, have I mistaken you?”

Those few words were like a clap of thunder, catching Ji Xunyue completely off guard. He hadn’t called her Ye Jinyue; he had called her by her true name.

“What did you call me?”

No, it shouldn’t be like this. Didn’t he love the original Ye Jinyue? Why would he know her identity? Ji Xunyue suddenly realized they had been speaking past each other this entire time. Everything was a mess, and it was hard to resolve.

Xuan Huai looked at her silently, then suddenly withdrew all his emotions, returning to his usual cold indifference. But within his words was a hidden, boundless bitterness.

“I have never mistaken you. From the first day you arrived at the Immortal Realm, I recognized you.”

“I did not need Yu Qianchan to remind me. As long as I see you, I can recognize you, regardless of what appearance you take or what name you use.”

“I have not mistaken you. Whether it is Ji Xunyue or Ye Jinyue, it is always you.”

“As early as six thousand years ago, we had a brief encounter in the Demon Realm. Over four thousand years ago, we met and fell in love in the mortal realm. But you have forgotten it all.”

Ji Xunyue felt her hands and feet go cold; the evening breeze made her shiver.

The Ye Jinyue Xi Lin spoke of… was her?

She had forgotten again?

She had actually forgotten again?

She searched her memories but could find no trace of him. At this moment, there was no joy in her heart; instead, she fell into deep self-doubt.

Her voice trembled as she asked, “say it again. Who am I?”

Xuan Huai sensed her emotional turbulence and, as if waking from a dream, stepped forward to support her trembling body. “Do not think about it anymore,” he said, his voice laced with self-reproach. “Your head will ache.”

Ji Xunyue shook her head, remaining stubborn. “Xuan Huai, tell me. What did I forget? What is our history?”

If she had forgotten Shi Yuan, it was only natural that she could forget Xuan Huai as well. But why had she lost so much of her memory?

Seeing her persistence, Xuan Huai hesitated before speaking slowly. “When I was ordered to the mortal realm to capture demons, I met you while you were incarnated as Ye Jinyue. But then the Great War broke out, and you disappeared. When I saw you again, I learned you were Ji Xunyue, the Young Master of the Demon Realm.”

“Are you certain that Ye Jinyue was me?”

“I saved you using my demon energy. Those traces remained in your body. I can sense them, and that is how I recognized you.”

“So, from our first meeting at the Induction Platform, you knew who I was?”

“Yes.”

“And you knew why I wanted to become your disciple?”

“I did.”

It turned out that her careful attempts to hide her identity had been entirely unnecessary from the very beginning.

Ji Xunyue stood stunned for a moment. “Then why? Why did you not tell me?”

Xuan Huai paused, his tone dropping. “In what capacity should I have told you? As a former lover? I tried that four thousand years ago, but you told me you did not know me. Then there was you and Shi Yuan. Even if you knew, you could not give me the response I desired. It would have only troubled you.”

He sighed softly, looking at her with sorrow. Ji Xunyue finally understood why he had repeatedly asked if she liked Shi Yuan.

“You thought I liked Shi Yuan, so you said nothing?”

“I knew you had forgotten him as well. I thought my outcome would be the same as his. But in truth, it was different from the start. You became my disciple because of what Shi Yuan did, yet you learned of your past with him and grew closer and more intimate. Why would I subject myself to such humiliation?”

Xuan Huai continued, “That time we met in the God Realm, you asked if I had seen you before. Ji Xunyue, tell me, what was I supposed to say?”

Why did she not only fail to remember the mortal realm, but even have no impression of meeting Xuan Huai in the Demon Realm afterward? She searched her mind again, but found nothing. She had forgotten far more than she realized.

“Then why are you telling me today?”

As soon as she asked, she guessed the answer.

At this point, Xuan Huai no longer wished to hide his thoughts. “Because I was unwilling. Why can Shi Yuan return to your side while I am left forgotten? Even if you think I am despicable for playing dumb while knowing your identity, I wanted you to know.”

He closed his eyes in pain. “I am different from Shi Yuan. Everyone knows he loves you. But what about me? No one knows, no one understands. I even began to wonder if our meeting was nothing more than a dream I had.”

Ji Xunyue listened blankly. A warm tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek. An intense, inseparable sadness swept through her.

Those past events were certainly not a dream. From the first moment she saw him, she had felt an indescribable nostalgia and an irresistible urge to be near him. This confirmed it: she must have loved him. She wanted to find evidence to prove to him that everything he said was true, to answer his insecurity and soothe his pain.

But she could not. She had forgotten everything.

As she tried to probe the past, that seal blocked her again. The forgotten memories seemed to surge forth, only to be held back by the seal, crashing against the gates in a tidal wave that left her with a splitting headache and gasping for air.

Ji Xunyue’s vision went black. Her strength vanished, and she collapsed forward. She was caught in Xuan Huai’s tight embrace, yet she felt no warmth. She heard him calling her name, but his voice sounded as distant as the horizon.

Then, silence. Her consciousness fell into a boundless darkness.

Suddenly, a light flashed. In an instant, she was back inside the Lingxi Immortal Tree, at the moment she had peered into Xuan Huai’s memory. This time, she saw it. She saw Xuan Huai lift the woman’s bridal veil to reveal a face identical to her own. This was what Sang Wo had wanted her to see.

She had missed it then, missing him over and over again. But fortunately, her heart and body had retained the last bit of memory of him, urging her to fall in love with him once more.

The darkness swallowed her again. When she woke, she felt Xuan Huai’s gentle spiritual energy circulating through her body. Demon energy and spiritual energy shared the same source; Ji Xunyue finally understood why she had never rejected his power. She had been too confident in her own strength to notice the minor anomaly, and he had always hidden his demon energy so she could not sense it. The only chance she had to realize it, she had been too panicked after seeing through his true identity to seize it.

Ji Xunyue slowly opened her eyes. She realized that while she was unconscious, she had failed to maintain her disguise. Now, she looked at him with her true face.

Xuan Huai’s brow was furrowed with worry and regret. Seeing him looking at her with a heart full of devotion, she finally felt a sense of reality. He loved her too. At this moment, that long-awaited joy took root and sprouted in her heart.

Ji Xunyue was too exhausted to speak. she leaned her head quietly against his chest, the scent of pine mist steadying her. When her strength had mostly returned, she broke from his embrace to create some distance.

Xuan Huai stared at her, seemingly realizing their confrontation was reaching its end. His lips parted, but no words came out. He should have been untainted and serene, yet he had been consumed by grief and worry for her sake, giving her all his devotion.

Ji Xunyue suddenly felt a mischievous urge to tease him. He could have told her sooner, yet he had said nothing, causing her to suffer for so long. He had tortured both her and himself. Even though he loved her so much, he had pretended to be indifferent while watching her every move. It was all his fault that they had spent so much time in misunderstanding. She did not want to let him off so easily.

She feigned a cold composure. “Xuan Huai, you are too late.”

Xuan Huai forced a smile. “It is indeed too late, but I no longer care. I did not want you to start your next life knowing nothing. A-Yue, that was too cruel to me. I will wish you and Shi Yuan well, but let us not meet again. Nothing is more painful than losing you a second time.”

His tone was so sorrowful that Ji Xunyue’s heart constricted, and she abandoned the idea of teasing him. She had forgotten that his pain had lasted much longer than hers. She had lived her life blissfully unaware, while he had always remembered her.

“Why have you said so much before even getting an answer?” she asked softly.

“An answer?” Xuan Huai whispered. “What answer is left?”

“I remember every question you asked, yet I have not answered a single one.” Ji Xunyue sighed softly and looked up at him. “I do not like Shi Yuan, Huai Lin.”

At the mention of that name, Xuan Huai froze. “How do you know that name? Did you remember?” He snapped out of it, incredulous. “You do not like Shi Yuan?”

He stared at her blankly. Ji Xunyue stepped forward and cupped his face in her hands, studying every flicker of his expression. The coolness of her fingertips made him tremble, and he reached up to cover her hands with his own, trying to give her warmth. Her initiative gave him immense comfort.

“Then why is it too late?” he asked cautiously, his eyes a mix of hope and anxiety. He remembered her saying in the illusion that she had someone she loved.

Ji Xunyue smiled. “It is too late because I have loved you for so long, yet you only just told me that you love me too.”

They were standing very close, her head tilted back as their breathing intermingled. “Why did you let me be sad over you for so long before telling me the truth? Huai Lin, it really is too late.”

Seeing the joy sparkling in his eyes, she leaned in and kissed him. She was certain that she loved him, both now and in the past. Even though she had forgotten, her body remembered for her; otherwise, why would their first kiss feel so familiar?

Xuan Huai lost himself only for a moment before he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her into his embrace and passionately responding to the longing he had dreamed of for so long. His arms were trembling, yet he refused to let go even for a second. All their grievances and heartaches vanished in the heat of the kiss.

When it finally ended, Ji Xunyue looked up into his eyes, both of them still breathing heavily. She knew that whoever spoke first was destined to be the loser for a lifetime.

Xuan Huai was a willing loser. He wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and said softly, “It is not too late. For me, it is not too late. A-Yue, I have finally found you. I am sorry. If I had told you sooner, I would not have made you sad.”

Ji Xunyue did not answer, she simply rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent. “I am tired,” she murmured.

She had found the person she had forgotten, but it had left her exhausted.

“Alright, rest now. We can talk about everything tomorrow,” he soothed her. “We have plenty of time.”

“Yes.” But she was already very sleepy, and his embrace was so warm. Once her eyes closed, she could not open them again.

Xuan Huai gently picked Ji Xunyue up and looked at her sleeping face with a tender gaze. He carried her back to her room. He intended to leave, yet he could not bear to. Even if they had a long future ahead, they had already missed too much. Not a single second could be wasted ever again.