After Forgetting Two Exes - Chapter 36

“Xuan Huai’s memory?”

Unsure of Sang Wo’s intentions, Ji Xunyue rejected him immediately. “What does that have to do with me?”

Sang Wo countered, “But I feel it has a great deal to do with you.”

Ji Xunyue admitted that, for a split second, she wavered. She truly wanted to understand Xuan Huai’s past, but surreptitiously peeking into someone’s memories was not an honorable act. However, without waiting for her response, Sang Wo had already manipulated his magic to manifest a vision before her.

He said eagerly, “I promise you, I am not deceiving you.”

Ji Xunyue wanted to stop him, but she froze the moment she saw the image. She saw a similarly dim room where a woman dressed in a wedding gown and a bridal veil sat by the bedside. It was remarkably similar to what she had just done in the previous illusion. Since this was Xuan Huai’s memory, could that woman be the original Ye Jinyue? Perhaps the striking similarity of the recent events had triggered this past recollection, allowing Sang Wo to capture it.

Ji Xunyue knew she should look away, yet she could not move her eyes. The unfolding scene was also familiar, though in this vision, it was a demon terrorizing mortals. Just as before, Xuan Huai rushed in to protect the woman. The difference was the way he shielded her, holding her firmly behind him to ensure the demon could not harm her in the slightest.

Ji Xunyue could only see the images; she could hear no sound. The demon was quickly subdued, and the woman threw herself into Xuan Huai’s arms. The veil still covered her head, so Ji Xunyue could not see her expression, but her identity was confirmed by her intimate movements. Ji Xunyue watched silently as Xuan Huai returned the embrace, his eyes crinkling with a smile as he spoke tenderly to her.

The Xuan Huai in her mind was always indifferent and detached. This was the first time she had seen what he looked like when moved by love.

“Enough.”

She could not describe the feeling in her heart, but just as Xuan Huai was about to lift the woman’s veil, Ji Xunyue waved her hand irritably, dissolving the image.

“This… very well. I shall send you out now.” Sang Wo’s tone held a hint of regret. “Rest assured, Your Excellency. To show my sincerity, the upcoming illusions will surely satisfy you.”

After sending Ji Xunyue away, Sang Wo manifested the image again, looking at the mortal woman’s face and sighing repeatedly. “Why didn’t she watch until the end?”

Upon entering the new illusion, Ji Xunyue didn’t even stop to observe her surroundings. She immediately raised her wrist to sense Xuan Huai’s location. Sang Wo could control the flow of time within the illusions, so Xuan Huai would not know she had been missing for a long time; she didn’t need to worry about him becoming suspicious.

She intended to move toward him, yet she found herself unable to take a step. Ever since learning the truth from Xi Lin, she had been in a state of inner turmoil. Before she had time to process her emotions, she was thrust into this sudden competition as Xuan Huai’s partner. All the reasons for her irritability had been answered when she confirmed her feelings, but her troubles only grew.

Now that she knew Xuan Huai loved someone else, how was she supposed to handle her own emotions? Although she had told herself multiple times to suppress these feelings for now, Sang Wo’s “kindness” had backfired, throwing her heart into chaos once more. Regardless of her noble status or her great power, she could not escape the reach of basic human desires.

She was sad, certainly. She admitted to being envious, even jealous, and… aggrieved. How could she not feel aggrieved? She had thought him a thousand-year enemy, yet he had saved Qingli. He was a victim of the Great War, and he was so good to her that her pent-up resentment had nowhere to go. Since coming to the Immortal Realm, she had been led entirely by the nose by him.

She had finally cleared up the misunderstandings, only to discover the coincidence of her name. Just as she realized her heart was moved, she decided to act as if nothing had happened, only to catch a glimpse of his past, proving the fact that he could never love her. She knew Xuan Huai had done nothing wrong; it was her own heart that had been stirred. She also knew she was not a child; she understood that one cannot force what does not belong to them. Letting go early was the best way out.

She wanted to be alone, yet she still had to walk beside him, which only intensified her frustration. As she was thinking, a flash of snowy white darted out from the woods ahead, racing toward her before stopping at her feet.

A white… fox?

The little fox tilted its head back, its brown eyes staring at her without blinking, its fluffy, soft tail wagging lazily. Ji Xunyue froze, meeting its gaze for a long time. Suddenly, she remembered a distant memory from her past. When she was young, she had encountered a white fox very similar to this one.

At that time, she was only two hundred years old. She had always envied her parents and the demon generals for their majestic mounts. Learning that demons also had animal forms, she mistakenly thought she could snatch one from the Demon Realm to domesticate, so she had snuck away. When she arrived, she realized it wasn’t what she had imagined. While their true forms were animals, most demons appeared no different from humans; only a few retained minor bestial traits.

Just as her hopes were fading, she encountered a white fox on the outskirts of Youdu. With just one glance, she felt it was special. Not only was it elegant and noble in appearance, but its eyes were also incredibly proud. She immediately felt she had found the perfect target. She chased after it, asking directly if it wanted to go with her, hurriedly listing many benefits of coming back with her.

She couldn’t remember the specifics of what she said likely things she found precious as a child, though they probably would not have interested anyone else. Seeing the fox looking at her coldly with no reaction, she thought it might not understand human speech, but she couldn’t help but move closer, wanting to touch its fur. At that moment, the fox spoke, telling her to go home early, and then left without looking back.

That encounter had been too mundane to occupy a place in her memory, so it took seeing this white fox in an illusion thousands of years later to bring it back. She had been too mischievous in her youth, sneaking out to play constantly; how could she remember every single encounter?

The memory lingering in her mind actually made her forget her troubles for a moment. Ji Xunyue crouched down and beckoned to the white fox. To her surprise, it actually approached her, even proactively rubbing against her hand. Although she knew everything in the illusion was fake, the soft, delicate texture was incredibly realistic, radiating the little fox’s body heat. It melted her heart.

She asked with a smile, “Little fox, are you willing to come with me?”

She had asked the same question back then, hadn’t she? Now, she felt a sense of relief, as if a childhood wish had finally been fulfilled. The aftermath of her secret outings was usually the same: she would be scolded and punished by her mother with solitary confinement. Her father would try to intercede to no avail. A-Yin would cry incessantly because she wouldn’t be able to see her for a while, yet she was too tongue-tied to speak. And Ji Xunyue could never understand what she had done wrong, refusing to back down and accepting her punishment begrudgingly.

When she reached adulthood, her mother gave her a winged beast, but that creature died in the war and couldn’t stay by her side. She no longer had the childhood obsession to domesticate another, and the one time she felt a passing interest, she had unfortunately clashed with Shi Yuan. Those chaotic days of her youth felt warm in hindsight, yet they also tore at the old scars in her heart. The people in those memories were gone, leaving her alone. Fate turned in circles, giving and taking, never within her control.

Perhaps sensing her dip in mood, the little white fox whined twice in response and burrowed into her arms. Ji Xunyue snapped out of her memories, her mood quickly brightened by its enthusiasm. She picked it up, cradled it in her arms, and stood up. She suddenly remembered catching Xuan Huai drunk; in the end, she had lost her nerve and didn’t dare to touch him.

I suppose fox ears all feel the same, don’t they?

After stroking the little fox’s soft ears, Ji Xunyue studied it again. On second thought, foxes all looked more or less the same. Perhaps she had even encountered Xuan Huai during her many trips to the Demon Realm without realizing it.

Her attention was entirely on the snowy bundle in her arms, lost in her wandering thoughts, until footsteps sounded behind her. Ji Xunyue snapped out of it, realizing that Xuan Huai had already followed her tracks and arrived. She turned to find Xuan Huai standing a few meters away. He stared at the fox in her arms with a pensive expression.

Though she had previously thought of avoiding him, she still felt a spark of joy upon seeing him. She didn’t know what to say for a moment, and her hand stopped stroking the fox. The white fox immediately expressed its dissatisfaction at being neglected, letting out a pitiful whimper. Ji Xunyue hurriedly comforted it while stammering an explanation to Xuan Huai. “I… I don’t know where it came from…”

Why did she feel inexplicably guilty?

Xuan Huai asked, “Are you… going to keep holding it?”

Before Ji Xunyue could speak, the little white fox barked at him first. This little creature was quite perceptive. She said with a laugh, “Master, look, it can’t bear to leave me. Let’s leave it at that; we need to hurry and find the clues for this trial.”

Xuan Huai said nothing more and walked side-by-side with her, though his gaze occasionally fell upon her. Seeing her holding the fox caused a wave of trance-like recollection to flash through his mind, bringing back memories buried deep in his heart.

In truth, his first meeting with Ji Xunyue was not in the mortal realm, but even earlier. At that time, he was not yet accustomed to taking human form and preferred moving in his true body. He had encountered a little girl in the Demon Realm who foolishly asked if he wanted to go with her and be her mount. He saw that she was not of the demon race and didn’t want to get involved, so he left immediately. But he was worried about her safety, so he turned back and followed her for a distance, seeing people from the Demon Realm rush over to take her back, even calling her “Young Master.”

If they were still together, he would have marveled at how that mundane first meeting foreshadowed their future. But the reality was that he couldn’t find the Ye Jinyue who was her incarnation; he only reunited with her in the Demon Realm, and before he could even savor the joy of finding what was lost, he discovered she had forgotten him. Only then did he realize they had met over two thousand years ago. He began to regret it; if he had spoken more to her then and told her his name, would she have been able to remember him?

Unfortunately, their first meeting was merely a ripple-less passing, far too brief in the span of their thousands of years. Her life would see many people, but those who truly stayed in her heart were few. How could she remember him?

“Master, look, there’s another fox over there.”

Her words interrupted his thoughts. Xuan Huai looked at the slightly larger fox not far ahead and paused. “Perhaps it is its family.”

As he spoke, the little fox in Ji Xunyue’s arms began to struggle. It jumped down and barked at its kinsman. Ji Xunyue remembered Sang Wo saying he would let her win quickly; could this trial simply be helping the little fox find its family? She hadn’t stroked it enough yet…

The little white fox took two steps forward, then turned back and barked at her as well. She asked subconsciously, “Master, do you know what it’s saying?”

Wait, asking that felt a bit strange, didn’t it? Though Xuan Huai’s true form was a fox, he was a fox demon; could he be considered… the same kind?

Xuan Huai’s gaze landed on the little white fox. He couldn’t understand it either, but emotions are universal, and he could see what it wanted to express.

“It says… it likes you very much.”

And how could he not feel the same?