After Dreaming That the Top Student in My Grade Was My Wife - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: A Rainy Day

Monday noon. The sky wasn’t raining, yet it appeared exceptionally gloomy; though it was midday, not a sliver of sun was to be seen.

Students walked toward the cafeteria in groups of twos and threes, seemingly starting to feel chirpy about the approaching winter break.

Tao Shuran did not go to the cafeteria. Her heart felt so stifled that she had even forgotten to be hungry.

She detoured to the small garden behind the laboratory building. There was a secluded small pavilion inside. Previously, she would never run out of the teaching building to play during school hours, but the surroundings were simply too noisy; she needed a place to be quiet.

Upon approaching the pavilion, Tao Shuran looked up and saw Jiang Hanqi, her back straightened, hands propped at her sides as she looked at the scenery.

Jiang Hanqi truly lived up to her status as the person firmly holding the rank of number one in the district; her ability to predict exam points was indeed very strong. Although the listed points weren’t many, they actually covered the entire final exam paper. Unfortunately, Tao Shuran hadn’t understood much in the dream to begin with, and coupled with the fact that memories from dreams tend to be blurry, there were still many problems she couldn’t solve in the exam hall.

That feeling of being ‘just a hair’s breadth away from remembering’ but ultimately failing to do so hung over her, making her feel particularly miserable. One problem after another lunged at her until the pressure collapsed her mental state.

After finishing the comprehensive science exam on Thursday afternoon, she happened to dream that night about Rui-rui preparing for her own final exams. She had used the situation as a pretext to cling to Jiang Hanqi and have a massive crying fit.

She thought she had recovered, but when taking the Chinese exam on Friday morning, she once again misremembered things that felt familiar and forgot things she had memorized repeatedly. Her mental state during the exam completely shattered. She got stuck in a dead end, wasting too much time, which resulted in her failing to finish the final long essay. Three minutes before the teacher collected the papers, she forcibly wrote an ending, and then, a second before the paper was snatched away, she wrote down the essay title with trembling hands.

The moment the exam ended, she knew: she was finished.

Although the rankings were announced today, she had actually known her final grades yesterday. Her homeroom teacher had personally called her mother to report them, his tone quite urgent.

Four words: a complete and utter mess.

At that time, Mother Tao’s face had turned ashen with rage. Father Tao had pulled her aside to coax her, saying it must be because the questions were hard this year—the score didn’t matter, only the ranking would count.

Well, this was just great. This rank was far more stimulating than the score.

Tao Shuran hesitated over whether to leave Jiang Hanqi her peace and quiet, but after thinking it over carefully, she had nowhere else to go. She had spent the last few days studying in the same classroom as the Big Boss, and the Big Boss had even given her materials, so if she just sat nearby to zone out for a while, it should be fine.

In fact, Jiang Hanqi had already discovered Tao Shuran when she detoured past the lab building onto the path. For this, she had to thank the genes from her doctor parents; both her vision and hearing were excellent.

She closed the German book in her hand, and her posture changed from leaning to sitting upright, like an obedient primary school student listening to a lesson. While waiting for Tao Shuran to approach, she contemplated what to say.

The school rankings were posted today, and Jiang Hanqi had gone to look at them for the first time in her life.

At 6:00 AM under the Grade 1 teaching building, there was only Jiang Hanqi. Sure enough, Tao Shuran had only come to self-study three days before the exam specifically to prepare for it.

“92nd.”

Almost falling out of the Top 100.

Jiang Hanqi felt a bit of a headache.

The content learned in the first semester of Grade 1 was very limited, and she had estimated the problems on the paper almost perfectly. Why did it turn out like this?

During the first period, the homeroom teacher handed out the grade slips. When he called Tao Shuran’s name, his face was stern, his eyes full of reproach.

The young girl lowered her head and collected her grade slip in silence. When she turned back to her seat, Jiang Hanqi still caught sight of her pair of red-rimmed eyes.

While Jiang Hanqi was hesitating, Tao Shuran had already noticed her.

Jiang Hanqi had already glanced toward her twice. She picked up the book by her side and put it down again, as if wanting to say something.

Tao Shuran lifted her eyelids and offered a dull greeting: “Congratulations. Number one again.”

“…” Jiang Hanqi remained silent for a moment. “That isn’t important.”

She didn’t know how to comfort people. She had never cared about rankings; she truly felt that compared to Tao Shuran’s happiness, nothing else mattered.

“Yes, of course you think it’s not important.” Tao Shuran felt a thorn stab sharply into her heart. She gripped the crossbar of the pavilion with her right hand, trying to keep her voice steady.

“?” Jiang Hanqi was stunned for a moment. She sensed the sense of suppression in Tao Shuran’s words and tried to explain, “What I mean is…”

Tao Shuran interrupted her. Her tone was calm and her speed was slow, but her slightly trembling voice betrayed the bitterness in her heart: “Jiang Hanqi, you are a genius. You don’t need to think about the difficult problems of us ordinary people at all. Problems that others can’t figure out after doing them repeatedly, you understand with a single glance. Do you know how much of a talent that is—one that so many people reach for but can never obtain?”

“Is it because the problems I chose were too difficult? I’m sorry, my intention was…” Jiang Hanqi’s brow furrowed slightly. Her private wish had been to use the opportunity to explain everything from the beginning to Tao Shuran, but due to various constraints, she hadn’t spoken up after being rejected.

“Isn’t it hilarious?” Tao Shuran gave a bitter smile and tilted her head back, feeling her eyes grow moist. “You predicted the exam points so accurately, and I still failed? Even though you explained them to me so detailedly, I still couldn’t do them. What am I doing? How can I be this pathetic?”

“No, you shouldn’t care too much. Grades are the kind of thing that…” Hearing her sob, Jiang Hanqi suddenly became flustered. She sat closer to Tao Shuran, but her weak words were interrupted again.

“Not important, right? If grades aren’t important, then why does such a thing as ‘rankings’ even exist?” Tao Shuran finally couldn’t hold it back, her voice carrying a sob. “Do you know how much effort I put in last year to get into No. 5 High School? For the hundred days of the high school entrance exam, I woke up at six every morning for morning reading and went to sleep exactly at eleven at night. I didn’t dare relax even a bit during holidays. I kept my strings pulled tight for a full hundred days, not daring to take an extra breath. What was it for? You say rankings aren’t important? If I hadn’t ranked in the top seventy and been placed in the same class as you, you wouldn’t even know who Tao Shuran is!”

“And you? You’re the same. You say being number one isn’t important, but if you weren’t number one, do you think you could still be as free as you are now in this school?”

Images flashed before her eyes one by one: the suppression, the pain, the fatigue, the difficulty, the insurmountable sea of problems, the expectations of her elders, the comparisons with classmates. It made her feel like she was about to suffocate.

Tao Shuran’s tears began to overflow uncontrollably. She turned her back to Jiang Hanqi and covered her face tightly. Her voice shook so violently that she was unwilling to say another word.

Yesterday, after her mother communicated with the homeroom teacher, she questioned her why she had run to school so early in the morning when there were clearly no classes.

“Is your heart actually in your studies or not?”

“Do you think pretending to be hardworking will lead to good grades?”

“Why do you never listen to your parents? Would we ever harm you?”

“If you continue like this, you won’t even make it into the experimental class. If the teaching resources are a tier below everyone else’s, what do you plan to use to compete with others?”

“Do you think the title of ‘nepotism baby’ sounds good? Do you insist on giving people a reason to laugh at you?”

For the sake of a rank, the parents who said they doted on and loved her could use such ugly words to hurt her. Are rankings still not important?

Why must someone take first place and then act with such nonchalance and indifference? Doing it so effortlessly makes those who are left far behind look like a joke.

Why did she have to show up in her dreams for no reason? She was clearly such a distant person, and Tao Shuran only admired her a little; she had never thought about getting close.

There was so much sweetness in the dreams, so much happiness, peace, and gentle treatment. Yet after waking up and facing a slap from her mother, it only made the pain feel sharper and the bitterness feel deeper.

She was never someone who relied on fantasies; why did she have to dream of those things over and over?

“…I’m sorry.” Jiang Hanqi furrowed her brows tightly. Staring at the girl curled into a ball before her, she actually felt a sense of bitterness spread through her own heart.

Tao Shuran’s hands were wet as she haphazardly wiped her tears, yet she could never wipe them clean. She shook her head forcefully, saying between sobs: “It’s… it’s not your responsibility.” After all, dreaming of her was ultimately just her own wishful thinking.

“No, it is my responsibility.” As she spoke, Jiang Hanqi had already made a decision. She stepped forward, sat down beside Tao Shuran, and made her voice light and slow. “Ranran, look at me.”

Jiang Hanqi’s voice was naturally cool. Usually, she spoke quickly and with a strong tone, making her seem even more distant. But now, sitting very close to Tao Shuran, her voice was sincere and gentle. In a daze, it overlapped with the dream. Tao Shuran, as if bewitched, turned around blankly and lifted a pair of red peach-like eyes to look at Jiang Hanqi.

“Ranran, listen to me.” Jiang Hanqi raised both hands to cradle Tao Shuran’s face, using the pads of her thumbs to wipe away the tears little by little. Her coal-black, shoulder-length hair swept lightly across her waist with her movements. Her four fingers applied slight pressure, making Tao Shuran’s eyes focus on her own. Her eyes were filled with waves, and within her dark pupils was a steady affection. “It was the problems I marked for you that had issues, which led to you not testing well. Therefore, now is the time for me to take responsibility. Are you willing to give me a chance to actively make amends?”

Tao Shuran listened blankly to Jiang Hanqi’s words and instinctively nodded.

She didn’t quite understand what Jiang Hanqi meant, but someone else’s comfort was ultimately well-intended. As for herself, once she finished crying and venting, she would be fine; life had to go on.

This winter break, she absolutely had to catch up on the schoolwork she had missed. She, Tao Shuran, would never be defeated.

During the afternoon classes, the teachers of other subjects just came to hand out the answer sheets and left. The correct answers would be sent to the class group later for the students to correct themselves. After school started, the teachers would pick a few typical example problems from the midterm to explain, and that would be the end of it.

Consequently, when Tao Shuran arrived home after school in the afternoon, her parents hadn’t finished work yet.

She put down her backpack and secretly slipped into the study, turning on the family’s desktop computer.

The words she had spoken to Jiang Hanqi at noon—she had regretted them the moment they left her mouth.

Jiang Hanqi was, in the end, just an unfamiliar classmate. Just because she had occupied the pavilion Tao Shuran had chosen, not only was her midday peace disturbed, but her intention was to comfort someone, and she ended up being scolded.

How could Jiang Hanqi be at fault? The problem was with herself.

Probably because, in the dream, the relationship she fantasized between the two of them was truly too intimate. It even occasionally made her project it into reality, thinking Jiang Hanqi was that dream person who would hold her and dote on her, so she would act exceptionally willful.

This was too troublesome for others.

Tao Shuran bit her lip, opened the browser, and began searching.

They say dreams are products of the subconscious; dreaming of something is, plainly put, what a person is dwelling on.

But the vast majority of dreams are extremely easy to forget. Tao Shuran didn’t used to dream often, and even if she did, she couldn’t remember them shortly after waking. It wouldn’t be like this—this realistic.

She remembered too clearly—the emotions and the sensations, as if she had experienced them personally.

Even more terrifying was that when she had burst into tears in front of Jiang Hanqi today, the way she held her face and wiped her tears so gently—it was the exact same sensation. It made Tao Shuran feel as if she were constantly shuttling between reality and dreams.

However, after searching for more than an hour for information related to dreams to no avail, she felt she should seek help from a professional.

She wanted to find a psychologist—one who was reliable and had strong confidentiality—otherwise, it would be disastrous if her parents found out.

While she was browsing on the webpage, the study door was suddenly pulled open. Mother Tao was wearing formal attire, and Father Tao was carrying Mother Tao’s bag. The two walked in one after the other, clearly having just arrived home from work.

Tao Shuran could tell from her mother’s expression that she already knew her ranking.

She hurriedly closed the webpage and stood up timidly. Just as she was about to admit her mistake, she was interrupted.

“…” The anger on Mother Tao’s face when she first entered had vanished for some reason. Her tone carried a bit of fatigue. “Xiao Ran, Mom bought some fruit for you. Go to the living room and pick some you like to eat.”

Tao Shuran nodded obediently and then jogged all the way to the living room.

In the study, the computer tower was still generating heat. Mother Tao gave Father Tao a look, and the two leaned toward the computer together.

They opened the browser and checked the history: a row of “How to see a psychologist” and “Contact information for reliable psychologists in Shencheng.” Mother Tao’s face was a bit stiff; she indeed hadn’t seen wrong when she entered just now.

That night’s dinner was made by Father Tao. Mother Tao locked herself on the balcony, separated by the double-layered glass doors, and stayed on the phone for over an hour.

She was likely asking the homeroom teacher about the situation; Tao Shuran didn’t pay it any mind.

Her mother had always cared about her studies; it was already quite good that she hadn’t continued scolding her after she tested so poorly.

Thus, after finishing her meal, Tao Shuran intended to go back to her room to do two more test papers, but she was called back by Father Tao. He hadn’t even washed the bowls; he was just sitting there after the meal, and as soon as he saw Tao Shuran get up, he immediately stood up: “Nannan, uh, do you want to watch TV together?”

“There’s nothing I like to watch.” Tao Shuran shook her head and went into her room. Her father either watched spy movies and science programs or watched ball games. Furthermore, she hadn’t watched TV in two years.

That night, there were no dreams.

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