After Being Marked By A Love Rival - Chapter 37

After Zhuang Xinbai’s words fell, the two remained silent for a long time, speechless to one another.

Xie Rong’s fingertips trembled, and then she inhaled a cold breath, whispering, “Why…” Her words stopped halfway, and then she pinched the space between her eyebrows. “Sorry, it’s my problem.”

Hearing Xie Rong’s apology, Zhuang Xinbai looked up and quickly said, “You don’t need to apologize, Xiao Rong, this isn’t your problem.” She seemed anxious and distressed, scratching her hair. “It seems you haven’t understood what I meant. I think that if you like someone, then no matter what…”

Xie Rong gently interrupted her, “I understand what you want to say.”

She knew it all. But precisely because she knew and understood, she didn’t know how to refute it at this moment.

She wanted to tell Zhuang Xinbai that her love for her was beyond doubt, but in the face of such “evidence,” she lacked corresponding “evidence” to corroborate her own feelings, which made her feel helpless and awkward.

Zhuang Xinbai stopped talking. She pursed her lips and then said softly, “Feelings like liking someone will make a person unlike themselves. For example, a cold person becomes gentle, a tolerant person becomes selfish, a selfish person becomes self-sacrificing, and so on… Perhaps I’m using some extreme examples, but what I want to say is this.”

“If you fall in love with someone, it’s bound to bring about a certain contrasting change. But you, Xiao Rong, are still perfectly yourself.”

“You are still rational, calm, peaceful, and aloof. Xiao Rong is still Xiao Rong. Your liking for me is not out of control; you are holding onto that boundary perfectly. This is also why I feel that your liking for me may not be the romantic kind of love.”

Xie Rong lowered her eyes, remaining silent.

Zhuang Xinbai took a deep breath. “Because no matter what, we are still friends, so I’m not afraid to tell Xiao Rong that I actually… had a crush on Mu Si before.”

Xie Rong suddenly looked up, emotions swirling in her eyes. “Then…?”

Zhuang Xinbai: “But we weren’t meant to be. Later, Mu Si told me she had someone she liked.”

Xie Rong frowned slightly, unsure what to say to comfort her, but she couldn’t deny a certain unspeakable feeling of relief in her heart.

“But when Mu Si was pursuing me, I was actually very hesitant, and felt a bit resistant and disbelieving,” Zhuang Xinbai lowered her head and smiled. “Because the feeling Mu Si gave me was just like the one you’re giving me today.”

“Like you, she said she liked me, but I couldn’t feel it. I knew her words weren’t false, but her liking, perhaps, wasn’t the kind I needed.”

Xie Rong pursed her lips. “You mean to say, she also didn’t lose control for you.”

Zhuang Xinbai shook her head gently. “I wasn’t asking her to perform such acts, but rather… a feeling, or the look in her eyes when she looked at me.”

Speaking of this, she looked up at Xie Rong, and Xie Rong looked down at her.

“Just like now, Xiao Rong, I look at you, and I know I am your friend, a companion, a relative you grew up with. But I have never felt that I am the person you love.”

Xie Rong’s expression tightened for a moment, her lips drawn into a straight line.

“Do you need me to prove something?”

Zhuang Xinbai laughed. “How can something like this be proven, Xiao Rong? The moment you say that, it shows that your liking isn’t the kind I need.”

Xie Rong pursed her lips, her expression somewhat cool and distant.

“But I…” She paused, already not knowing how to continue this meaningless resistance.

She wanted to say that if Zhuang Xinbai didn’t like her, she could just refuse directly, instead of using this method to force her to retreat. But Xie Rong knew Zhuang Xinbai wouldn’t do that; every word she spoke came from the heart, and everything the other person said was the truth.

Xie Rong lowered her eyes, a hint of confusion within them.

Zhuang Xinbai patted her arm. “Alright, Xiao Rong, don’t dwell on it anymore. Let’s head back.”

Xie Rong followed her pace.

After a while, she asked, “If my liking were the kind you desired, then you would…”

Zhuang Xinbai thought for a moment, then shook her head. “I’m sorry, then I would probably have to formally reject you.”

For some reason, after hearing this answer, Xie Rong didn’t feel the expected sadness or heartache. All she felt was a predictable sense of loss and a faint melancholy.

“Because you don’t love me.”

Zhuang Xinbai smiled. “I still like you very much, just not the kind of liking that wants to be in a relationship with you. So I have to formally reject you.”

Xie Rong looked down at her smiling face, and the melancholy she initially felt was largely dispelled by her smile. She took a deep breath and shifted her gaze away.

“I know.”

She wouldn’t blame Zhuang Xinbai either.

Liking or not liking cannot be forced. And Zhuang Xinbai being able to face her feelings and give her a direct response was already enough.

Xie Rong curved her lips slightly, but there was a sense of loneliness in her brows.

After being rejected, Xie Rong was not as heartbroken as she thought she would be; instead, she had a sense of… having finished an important matter.

She didn’t know if her feelings for Zhuang Xinbai were genuine love, but no matter what, the matter had now come to a conclusion and was formally over.

Xie Rong’s own wish was also fulfilled.

After this, she would still treat Zhuang Xinbai as she always had. After all, they were still friends who grew up together, and Xie Rong wouldn’t choose to distance herself just because her confession was rejected.

Moreover…

She didn’t know if it was true, as Zhuang Xinbai said, but after being rejected, Xie Rong did not have feelings of extreme grief or hateful negativity. Apart from a faint sorrow and loss, she seemed no different from usual.

After silently walking for a stretch, as they entered the school gate, Xie Rong asked, “Xinbai, what kind of emotion do you think ‘liking’ should be?”

Zhuang Xinbai pondered, “It’s probably the feeling of ‘it must be them,’ and the willingness to abandon all one’s steadfast principles for that person.”

“If it’s you, Xiao Rong, if one day there is a person who makes you drop your mask and causes many ripples in your originally calm and indifferent state of mind, perhaps then your liking will be true love.”

“And there’s the most important point,” she suddenly became serious, though her earlobes were red.

Zhuang Xinbai lowered her voice, “Liking someone also makes you want to be intimately close to them all the time, like you have skin hunger, and it’s not affected by pheromones. You want to mark them every day, let your pheromones blend with theirs, and one look from them can make you… ahem.”

Xie Rong was slightly stunned.

After saying this, Zhuang Xinbai herself felt very embarrassed. She glanced at Xie Rong. “That’s why I said I didn’t feel anything in your eyes, Xiao Rong. Do you… do you want to mark me every day?”

She asked calmly, both because she and Xie Rong had been friends for many years, and because of the feeling Xie Rong gave her, which wasn’t like that, allowing Zhuang Xinbai to ask this question with composure.

Xie Rong pursed her lips, not answering the question, but an answer had already formed in her heart.

Because Xie Rong knew she wouldn’t…

She wanted to take care of Zhuang Xinbai and live with her forever, but she had never thought about marking her daily like being in heat, nor had she ever had any sexual fantasies about Zhuang Xinbai.

Xie Rong closed her eyes and pinched her fingertips.

Before this, Xie Rong had always felt that it was simply because she loved Zhuang Xinbai as a person, not her body as an Omega.

But after Zhuang Xinbai pointed it out, Xie Rong suddenly realized that perhaps it wasn’t because she respected Zhuang Xinbai, but because she hadn’t reached the point of making an exception for the other person.

Thinking of this, Xie Rong’s eyelids trembled.

Perhaps seeing that Xie Rong was a bit shaken, Zhuang Xinbai didn’t bother her, only offering a word of comfort when the two said goodbye and parted ways. “Xiao Rong, you don’t need to feel too much pressure. I just said it this way. Maybe your situation is just, well, calm.”

“But no matter what, we will always be the best of friends. Don’t let what happened today interfere with our relationship. You can still come to me if you need anything, okay?”

Xie Rong looked at her, then nodded.

Zhuang Xinbai then curved her eyes into a smile. “Then goodbye.”

Xie Rong returned to her dorm alone.

She looked at the snow on the roadside that hadn’t completely melted, her mind feeling empty.

From the tense and tight anticipation at the very beginning to the current relaxed blankness of thinking about nothing, her emotional state had changed quite significantly. Xie Rong lowered her eyes and unconsciously curved her lips.

But no matter what, today’s situation wasn’t bad.

At least she expressed her feelings and received a response, and she and Xinbai could still maintain their friendship. This was already very good.

As for the kind of liking Zhuang Xinbai mentioned…

Xie Rong thought, perhaps she still needed to ponder this matter a little more.

After returning to the dorm, only Zhao Rongrong and Mo Yue were there. Seeing Xie Rong return, Zhao Rongrong jokingly asked, “How was your date today, Xiao Rong?”

Xie Rong’s brows slightly twitched. “Why do you say that?”

Zhao Rongrong smiled. “Aiya, we all saw you walking around campus with a little Omega. What other guess could there be besides a date? How was it? Did it work out?”

Xie Rong sat down at her desk and only replied faintly, “You’re overthinking it. That’s my friend.”

Zhao Rongrong was surprised. “So you’re not denying at all that the person you were walking with was an Omega!”

Xie Rong raised an eyebrow.

Zhao Rongrong was extremely excited, like a gossiper who had found some juicy news. “I never thought Xiao Rong would one day get so close to an Omega! You clearly didn’t care when so many Omegas confessed to you before!”

Xie Rong sighed, then said, “You misunderstood. She is my friend, and she has been.”

But Zhao Rongrong still felt something was off.

Xie Rong ignored her speculation because she didn’t want to bring up the matter; it was enough for her to know it herself.

Mo Yue stopped Zhao Rongrong from asking further, then she brought up another question. “Where’s Mu Si? Where did she go?”

Zhao Rongrong shook her head. “Who knows? She went out right after dinner…”

Before she could finish her sentence, the door opened, and Qi Mu Si returned.