After Becoming a Spare Tire, I Got Together with My White Moonlight - Chapter 47

“No.”

Of course Jiang Xuehe would give that answer.

Qin Xiangxi stared intently into Jiang Xuehe’s eyes, afraid she might miss even the slightest hint of hesitation or uncertainty.

But there was none at all.

Only confusion lingered in Jiang Xuehe’s gaze, as if puzzled by why she would ask such a question.

“We don’t seem to have been particularly close to begin with, Miss Qin,” Jiang Xuehe reminded her.

With so few encounters between them, how could there be any talk of “affection”?

Moreover, she had already given her answer before, why was Qin Xiangxi clinging so stubbornly to this question?

Jiang Xuehe even began to reflect on where she might have slipped up, leading Qin Xiangxi to develop such a misconception.

Qin Xiangxi stared at her indifferent face, frozen in place, her complexion paling even further.

Something must be wrong.

She thought to herself.

In her final memory, she was leaping from the top of a tall building. Amid the gasps of the crowd, she suddenly felt a pang of regret.

The Qin family’s company had gone bankrupt, her parents had passed away, Jiang Xueyang had been ousted from the company and insisted on divorcing her.

At twenty-eight, Qin Xiangxi was utterly despondent, her last shred of hope resting on Jiang Xuehe reaching out to help her even if it was just a glance back in her direction.

But in the end, it was only Jiang Xuehe’s assistant who answered the phone, coldly suggesting she seek help from a psychologist.

In a moment of impulse, Qin Xiangxi climbed to the top of the company building. The instant she jumped in a fit of pique, there was no longer any chance for regret.

It was at that moment she truly began to hate Jiang Xuehe.

Even though she had long known that Jiang Xueyang had been driven out of the company by Jiang Xuehe, that the Qin family had been crushed by Jiang Xuehe’s pressure and never recovered, that Jiang Xuehe had grown utterly disgusted with her.

Before that, she could still make excuses for Jiang Xuehe in the business world, it was survival of the fittest, with no room for familial affection or mercy. Losing to Jiang Xuehe was simply a matter of inferior skill; no matter how infuriating, it wasn’t a crime.

Only when she truly faced death did she dare admit that all her excuses and all her resentment stemmed from unrequited longing.

But compared to death, that seemed insignificant.

If she were given another chance, she thought she would never chase after Jiang Xuehe again, nor cling to such hopeless love.

Yet, she still wanted to hear a genuine answer from Jiang Xuehe’s lips.

And so, fate granted her a chance to start over.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw her parents, resurrected from death.

Qin Xiangxi was overjoyed, but aside from her parents, her mind was filled only with Jiang Xuehe.

Yet when she sat before Jiang Xuehe, she gradually realized something was amiss.

Jiang Xuehe said they weren’t close.

The confusion and bewilderment on that person’s face were not feigned.

Qin Xiangxi had imagined many reasons why Jiang Xuehe might reject her, but she never expected this one.

In her previous life, Jiang Xuehe had never used this excuse to brush her off.

Back then, Qin Xiangxi had always trailed after Jiang Xuehe like a shadow, impossible to shake off. Jiang Xuehe, being a person of refinement, would never scold her loudly even if she was annoyed. Moreover, with the business dealings between the Qin and Jiang families, they could somewhat be considered old acquaintances, and there were plenty of unavoidable encounters.

Even when Jiang Xuehe went abroad, Qin Xiangxi, restrained by her parents from running around, never failed to send stacks of international letters.

Jiang Xuehe treated her with neither excessive closeness nor marked distance, more like an ordinary younger sister from a family friend. Yet, Qin Xiangxi always clung to the hope that she was “the special one.”

Until her death, Qin Xiangxi never saw Jiang Xuehe display fervent, unrestrained emotion, nor did she ever hear her utter words of love to anyone.

As the one who had ardently pursued Jiang Xuehe for over a decade, Qin Xiangxi always believed she was different.

Thus, she held onto a persistent delusion.

Perhaps Jiang Xuehe had once felt something for her too, but those feelings gradually faded due to the realities of life.

At the very least, that would prove her youth of more than ten years had not been entirely wasted.

But when fate granted her a chance at rebirth, those obsessions turned into an unresolved mystery.

After being reborn, Jiang Xuehe seemed not to believe that Qin Xiangxi truly liked her. The cold, distant look in her eyes was something Qin Xiangxi had rarely seen even in her previous life, it was no different from how one might regard a stranger.

“Why does Miss Qin think she likes me?” Jiang Xuehe asked.

Her voice remained gentle, yet it carried little warmth.

Only at that moment did Qin Xiangxi suddenly realize that Jiang Xuehe’s attitude toward her in her past life had actually been quite familiar.

Faced with Jiang Xuehe’s question, Qin Xiangxi froze once again. This time, it wasn’t because she couldn’t think of a reason, but because she no longer knew whether those “reasons” even existed.

“Sister He is very gentle.” Qin Xiangxi finally couldn’t help but say, drifting into a daze before snapping back to reality. “Only you would notice how I was feeling.”

It started when they were very young.

Back then, Qin Xiangxi was probably still in elementary school. Her parents had taken her to a banquet at the Jiang family’s home.

During that period, Qin Xiangxi had been feeling down. As soon as she entered, she stood stiffly in a corner like a wooden post, holding a glass of juice with a vacant stare.

Children nearby passed by her, pointing and whispering, turning their backs to discuss whether she was an idiot.

Jiang Xuehe, who had just started middle school, stepped in front of them and calmly admonished them not to speak carelessly.

After sending the children away, she walked over and asked Qin Xiangxi if she wanted to rest in a room.

Qin Xiangxi glanced at her parents approaching in the distance and nodded blankly.

Jiang Xuehe led the Qin family to a guest room upstairs, drew the curtains, closed the door, and suggested they rest there for a while.

As soon as Qin Xiangxi closed her eyes, she was plunged into boundless darkness. An endless crowd pressed down on her, she wanted to turn, to run, to scream, but she couldn’t make a sound or move.

Just as the weight and pain were about to become tangible, Qin Xiangxi jolted awake from the nightmare.

In reality, there were no boys with ugly faces, only white gauze curtains billowing in the wind, and behind them, Jiang Xuehe’s face revealed as the fabric settled.

Jiang Xuehe approached the window with a glass of water, looking down at her gently. “Did you have a nightmare?” she asked softly.

Qin Xiangxi stared at her in a daze.

Jiang Xuehe continued, “I heard you calling out. Your parents went to the car to get something and will be back soon. They asked me to watch over you for a while would you like some water?”

Qin Xiangxi remained still for a long moment before nodding slowly.

Jiang Xuehe helped her drink a glass of water, assuring her that the things in nightmares weren’t real and that she shouldn’t dwell on them. Then, she picked up a magazine from the table, flipped to a simple, easy-to-understand article, and told her a story.

By the time the story ended, Qin Xiangxi had calmed down, and her parents had finally returned.

That encounter ended just like that. Qin Xiangxi’s parents thanked Jiang Xuehe, who simply said it was her duty as the host. She politely bid them farewell and thoughtfully left behind the cup she had used for drinking water.

Yet it seemed that from that moment on, Qin Xiangxi couldn’t get Jiang Xuehe out of her mind.

Every time she woke from a nightmare in the middle of the night, the gentle voice of Jiang Xuehe echoed in her ears, and Jiang Xuehe’s beautiful, serene face appeared before her eyes.

At the time, she didn’t yet understand what “liking” someone meant. By the time she had outgrown her nightmares, missing Jiang Xuehe had already become a habit.

Thus, the affection that lasted over a decade seemed to follow naturally.

Whenever she heard news about Jiang Xuehe, no matter how far, she would rush over. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t do anything just seeing her was enough.

Qin Xiangxi’s pursuit of Jiang Xuehe became widely known, yet Jiang Xuehe remained unmoved.

The tenderness and consideration Jiang Xuehe had shown during their first meeting seemed like nothing more than an illusion, a soap bubble.

But Qin Xiangxi never gave up.

Not until her death.

Qin Xiangxi had thought that after being reborn, if she could see Jiang Xuehe one more time and ask for the answer to her final question, she would finally be able to let go.

But the Jiang Xuehe before her now looked at her with such unfamiliarity. Even after hearing the story that had captivated her for a lifetime, there was not a ripple of emotion in her eyes.

“Did that really happen?” Jiang Xuehe asked indifferently. “I don’t remember.”

Qin Xiangxi looked as if she were on the verge of collapse.

“Even if it were true, it was just basic hospitality,” Jiang Xuehe continued. “If such a small act of ‘consideration’ could make you fall in love, Miss Qin, your heart must be overflowing.”

Not to mention, Yan Guiqiu had saved her so many times, she ought to repay her with her life.

Jiang Xuehe paused, not wanting to bring Yan Guiqiu into this to remind Qin Xiangxi. After a brief silence, Qin Xiangxi bit her lower lip, her gaze dazed, unable to utter a word.

“Miss Qin, you should go back and rest properly. There’s no need to waste your youth on such trivial matters.”

Jiang Xuehe twirled the pen in her hand and turned her attention back to the easel in front of her, making it clear that the conversation was over.

If Qin Xiangxi didn’t take the hint, she would have to call Xiao He in.

Fortunately, Qin Xiangxi eventually stood up on her own. But as she reached the door, she couldn’t help but stop and glance back at Jiang Xuehe.

She wanted to argue that those weren’t trivial matters, they were the feelings of a lifetime.

But then she remembered why she had come here today. After a moment’s hesitation, she swallowed her words.

Saying them would make it sound as though, even after dying once, she still couldn’t let go.

A faint sense of resentment lingered in her heart. In the end, Qin Xiangxi couldn’t resist saying, “I won’t like you anymore from now on!”

Jiang Xuehe didn’t even lift her eyelids. Her “Hmm” sounded as if she were saying, “That’s great.”

Qin Xiangxi felt as though she had punched cotton. Her hand on the doorknob couldn’t bring itself to press down.

“I have someone else I like now,” she said, biting her lower lip. The words sounded like a fit of pique, but she spoke haltingly, without much conviction. “I won’t bother you anymore and I won’t come looking for you again.”

Jiang Xuehe had no interest in asking further questions, merely speaking gently, “Congratulations. I wish you happiness.”

Qin Xiangxi hesitated repeatedly, but finally brought up another name: “It’s Yan Guiqiu.”

Click.

The pen tip snapped on the white paper, leaving a stark black mark.

But Jiang Xuehe had no time to remedy it. Her movements froze as she lifted her head to look at Qin Xiangxi.

In that instant, even the air seemed to solidify.

Qin Xiangxi couldn’t help but feel a wave of unease, as if a cold wind were blowing against the back of her neck. She instinctively hunched her shoulders but refused to admit defeat.

She hadn’t wanted to mention that name originally.

Even before her death, she hadn’t believed she liked Yan Guiqiu.

But Jiang Xuehe’s indifference inexplicably stirred a stubborn defiance in her.

There were plenty of other women in the world besides Jiang Xuehe.

Even if she held the title of “true love,” it didn’t mean Qin Xiangxi had to treat her like a treasure, only to receive nothing in return.

Rather than chasing after someone she “liked” like a dog, wagging her tail and begging for attention only to be ignored, it was better to turn and seek comfort in someone else’s embrace.

There were people in this world who liked Qin Xiangxi more than anything.

“She treats me better than you do,” Qin Xiangxi tried her best to suppress the tremor in her voice. “She even saved my life. I’ve thought it over compared to you, she’s more deserving of my affection.”

Only realizing this now?

Jiang Xuehe’s expression was laced with sarcasm, but her mood was far from “good.”

Before, she could console herself with the thought that Qin Xiangxi genuinely didn’t like Yan Guiqiu’s type, and no amount of kindness would make her change her mind.

Yet the very thing she had just worried about was now unfolding right before her eyes.

Jiang Xuehe found it utterly ironic this was what she called “liking”?

“Perhaps you’ve misunderstood something,” Jiang Xuehe spoke slowly, her voice cooling.

“What?” Qin Xiangxi nervously gripped the door handle.

“Yan Guiqiu,” Jiang Xuehe enunciated each word clearly, “is my girlfriend. What does that have to do with you?”

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