After Becoming a Spare Tire, I Got Together with My White Moonlight - Chapter 37

As the two of them approached the entrance of the Yan residence, a car pulled over by the roadside, and Yan Guiqiu was just about to step out.

Jiang Xuehe remembered the question she hadn’t had the chance to ask earlier: “Why was Guiqiu angry?”

Gu Yuyin: “Because I deliberately tested her?”

“Not because of that.” Jiang Xuehe paused, then corrected herself, “Not just that. After you fell asleep last night, I chatted with her, and she seemed a bit unhappy though not exactly angry.”

Gu Yuyin didn’t catch on at first, but after thinking for a moment, she smiled knowingly. “It’s because you told her you didn’t mind.”

Jiang Xuehe looked as though she didn’t understand.

Gu Yuyin offered an analogy: “Imagine if you and someone else were mistakenly thought to have kissed due to a misunderstanding, and Yan Guiqiu kept saying she believed you, that she didn’t mind, and you didn’t need to explain. Would you feel happy?”

Jiang Xuehe thought it over and felt she was beginning to grasp the idea.

Whether she truly didn’t mind wasn’t the point, what mattered was the attitude.

If rumors of ambiguity with someone else were spreading, and you didn’t seem to care at all, was it genuine indifference or just an act?

Even if the act was convincing, it would still raise doubts: Was it because I didn’t matter enough to you that you could pretend so convincingly?

If she were in Yan Guiqiu’s position, looking back, she’d probably feel uneasy and upset too.

Seeing Jiang Xuehe’s expression shift to one of realization, Gu Yuyin couldn’t help but press further: “Did you really not mind?”

Jiang Xuehe remained silent for a moment before replying, “I minded a little.”

Gu Yuyin wore an expression of “I knew it,” tinged with a hint of pride. “That’s what I thought.”

Jiang Xuehe slightly averted her gaze, her smile fading a little.

She hadn’t told the truth.

What she had actually thought at the time was that she wished Gu Yuyin would vanish on the spot especially when Gu Yuyin gave that provocative look.

It wasn’t just “a little” that she minded, she minded a great deal.

They were nearing the entrance of the Yan residence. Yan Guiqiu spotted them, her eyes lighting up before she glanced between them with a hint of suspicion. Seeing no signs of a fight, she relaxed slightly.

Yan Guiqiu raised her hand and waved them over.

Just as Jiang Xuehe instinctively began to smile, Gu Yuyin spoke up beside her: “Do you know why she fell in love with you at first sight?”

Of course, she didn’t.

Jiang Xuehe turned to look at Gu Yuyin and naturally asked, “Do you know why?”

Gu Yuyin spread her hands and suddenly laughed. “I don’t know either.”

Jiang Xuehe: “…”

Then why bring it up?

Gu Yuyin nudged her arm and lowered her voice. “Why don’t you just ask her yourself?”

Jiang Xuehe gave an “Oh,” though it didn’t sound particularly sincere.

“Based on my years of experience with scripts, the most important thing in a relationship is communication. Sometimes, if you don’t say it out loud, you might not even realize what you were truly feeling at the time.”

Gu Yuyin spoke with certainty. “And given how enthusiastic Guiqiu is about you, if you ask, she’ll definitely tell you.”

Jiang Xuehe was half-convinced but still nodded and said, “I understand.”

Yan Guiqiu cut in and asked, “Understand what?”

Gu Yuyin whistled nonchalantly toward the sky, trying to brush off the topic. Out of the corner of her eye, she glanced at the bag in Jiang Xuehe’s hand and changed the subject: “Have you had breakfast? Your girlfriend specially brought you some buns. You two eat first, I need to go back and catch up on sleep. Ugh, I drank way too much last night.”

As she spoke, she pressed a hand to her forehead, as if the hangover was just now hitting her.

Yan Guiqiu: “…”

She’s acting as if it’s real.

Gu Yuyin stumbled toward the guest room, flopped onto the bed as soon as she entered, and looked like she was about to fall asleep.

Yan Guiqiu sighed and went over to close the door for her. “If anything comes up, remember to call me.”

“Got it,” Gu Yuyin’s muffled voice came from under the pillow. She lifted a hand, waved it weakly a couple of times, then let it drop.

Yan Guiqiu shut the door.

Jiang Xuehe placed the buns on an empty plate. They were still warm, but she thought it’d be better to heat them up again.

“Gu Yuyin brought them for you,” Jiang Xuehe said.

“I figured. She’s the only one who likes going to that place,” Yan Guiqiu replied, then asked, “What were you two talking about earlier? You seemed so happy.”

“We were talking about why you like me so much,” Jiang Xuehe said slowly.

“Why does she tell you everything?” Yan Guiqiu pretended not to care, but soon she was sneaking glances at her again. “So, did you come to any conclusions?”

“She told me to ask you,” Jiang Xuehe said. “So, why do you like me so much?”

Yan Guiqiu: “…”

Is she really being this direct?

Jiang Xuehe seemed to read her thoughts and added, “This way of asking is still a bit more subtle than yours, isn’t it?”

Yan Guiqiu tilted her head slightly, the tips of her ears turning red.

“For various reasons,” Yan Guiqiu muttered under her breath, then said, “Maybe it’s just, a feeling.”

“A feeling?”

“Yeah.” Yan Guiqiu thought for a moment but found it hard to put into words.

“Then never mind,” Jiang Xuehe smiled and didn’t press further.

“Huh?” Yan Guiqiu didn’t understand why she’d suddenly dropped the question and turned to look at her.

“You really do seem to like me a lot,” Jiang Xuehe said.

The way she was earnestly and diligently searching for what seemed like an obvious answer, it looked as if she was pondering a difficult problem, but her eyes were bright, as if searching for a glittering treasure.

Jiang Xuehe suddenly felt a slight hesitation not out of fear, but more like shyness, a reluctance to hear the answer to that question.

Fortunately, Yan Guiqiu was also blushing at her words and turned away without speaking for a while.

When she turned back to look at her, Yan Guiqiu replied seriously, “Yes, I really, really like you.”

Jiang Xuehe’s face grew slightly warm as well.

“Let’s have breakfast,” Jiang Xuehe changed the subject. “Do you have any plans for today?”

“How about boating?” Yan Guiqiu suggested. “At the park in the suburbs. I heard the flowers have bloomed recently, it’s really beautiful. And it’s close to the river where they release lanterns. We can come back a bit later in the evening.”

“Then, what about Gu Yuyin?” Jiang Xuehe asked.

“Let her rest at home. I’ll ask Ah Zhou to keep her company when he has time,” Yan Guiqiu said. “She’s been extremely busy lately and probably doesn’t have the energy to go out. Normally at this time, she’d be sleeping the whole day at home.”

Even when exhausted, she still insisted on coming to Yan Guiqiu’s place.

Jiang Xuehe instinctively glanced toward Gu Yuyin’s room.

Gu Yuyin was different.

Different from Song Anchen, from Ah Luan, and even from Yan Guiqiu’s other friends.

Yet it wasn’t “romantic love” either.

Recalling Gu Yuyin’s past, Jiang Xuehe paused, gradually understanding.

“That’s wonderful,” Jiang Xuehe murmured softly.

Those selfless efforts had finally been reciprocated.

“Xuehe?” Yan Guiqiu looked at her.

“Nothing,” Jiang Xuehe snapped back to reality and smiled. “Let’s head out after you finish eating.”

The sounds outside were faint. Gu Yuyin had indeed drifted into a hazy sleep, only to be awakened by her phone ringing.

Her phone had been left casually on the table by the door.

Gu Yuyin opened her eyes and glanced outside. Broad sunlight streamed through the window. Squinting, she pressed her fingers to her temples, got out of bed, and went to answer the call.

Outside the window, Yan Guiqiu and Jiang Xuehe were just leaving the house.

Leaning against the doorframe, Gu Yuyin glanced at the caller ID, it was Song Anchen calling.

She hadn’t had time to reply to Song Anchen’s message last night, but Yan Guiqiu had likely already informed her, so Gu Yuyin had completely forgotten about it.

Song Anchen would never call just to check on her well-being.

Just before the ringing stopped, Gu Yuyin finally answered the phone, letting out a weak “Hello?”

Song Anchen immediately caught on: “You’re still in bed?”

Gu Yuyin stared out the window and replied, “Mm.”

Song Anchen: “Oh, sorry. Did I disturb your sleep?”

There wasn’t much genuine apology in her tone instead, it carried a hint of schadenfreude.

Probably payback for earlier.

Gu Yuyin’s thoughts circled slowly as she gradually woke up: “Mm.”

Her indifferent tone made Song Anchen a bit awkward on the other end. Hesitantly and vaguely, she asked, “So, how is it?”

Gu Yuyin: “How is what?”

“You’re at Guiqiu’s place, right?” Song Anchen said. “So you must have met Jiang Xuehe, what do you think of them?”

“Mm.” Gu Yuyin dragged out the sound, then said slowly, “They’re fine.”

“What do you mean, ‘fine’?” Song Anchen pressed. “Don’t you have any other thoughts about it?”

“What thoughts could I possibly have?” Gu Yuyin retorted.

“We’re all friends here, no need to beat around the bush. Are you really not interested in Guiqiu?” Song Anchen asked.

“…” Gu Yuyin began to reflect on what she had done to make so many people misunderstand her this way.

Song Anchen wasn’t entirely sure about this matter either.

Just like how she was half-convinced, half-doubtful about the rumors of Yan Guiqiu’s crush on Qin Xiangxi.

Gu Yuyin’s relationship with Yan Guiqiu was clearly different from that of Yan Guiqiu’s other friends.

What Yan Guiqiu liked to eat, what books she usually read, her hobbies, even her recent thoughts Gu Yuyin always seemed to be the first to notice.

Even Song Anchen, who had been close to Yan Guiqiu since childhood and saw her frequently, sometimes couldn’t grasp Yan Guiqiu’s moods or underlying meanings.

But Gu Yuyin always could.

Others who knew them well joked that they were kindred spirits, but with different upbringings, different families, and different personalities, how could there truly be so much tacit understanding between them?

It was simply a matter of investing more thought and effort into understanding and empathizing with each other.

And it had to strike just the right balance, so that Yan Guiqiu wouldn’t feel repelled.

Yet she never explicitly voiced her attention and care for Yan Guiqiu, nor did she cling to her every day like lovers in the throes of passion.

Coupled with those ambiguous rumors, Song Anchen couldn’t quite grasp her intentions.

Later, Song Anchen even privately asked A Luan about it.

A Luan’s response was downright cold. She said, “What does it matter whether Gu Yuyin likes Yan Guiqiu or not? Yan Guiqiu would never like her anyway, so why bother caring?”

Song Anchen thought there was some truth to that, but given how long they had known each other, if Gu Yuyin truly had unrequited feelings for Yan Guiqiu, it would indeed be rather pitiable.

And now, with Jiang Xuehe suddenly appearing on the scene, it seemed even more pitiable.

She couldn’t help feeling a bit uneasy about it.

“Besides, when you were filming that drama, you didn’t clarify those rumors either,” Song Anchen tentatively probed, her words vague. Gu Yuyin couldn’t help but laugh softly at this.

“So, do you think life is incomplete without love?” Gu Yuyin asked.

Song Anchen was momentarily speechless.

Gu Yuyin’s tone remained calm, but her words carried a hint of reproach, almost like a slap in the face.

“I did think before that it would be nice if I could like women,” Gu Yuyin softened her tone.

Back then, she had just come across a script for a same-sex romance film.

Perhaps she had gotten too immersed in the role, or maybe the thought had genuinely crossed her mind.

She came from an ordinary family, but her parents were deeply in love and harmonious. From a young age, she had felt that if there were someone in the world as important and unparalleled as her parents or children, it would have to be a lover.

At that time, her parents had passed away one after another, leaving her with overwhelming debt. Even her own uncle, a blood relative, had distanced himself from her after her mother’s death.

She was also in that murky, tainted industry, where from the moment she stepped in, countless eyes had fixated on her face, scrutinizing her as if she were a commodity.

It was Yan Guiqiu who reached out and pulled her up, supporting her steadfastly from behind, pushing her away from those dark places, giving her the confidence to stand tall under the sun and walk forward with her head held high.

For Yan Guiqiu, it was just a small favor.

But for Gu Yuyin, it was a kindness no less significant than being given a second chance at life.

Such a debt could never be fully repaid.

Sometimes, Gu Yuyin would think to herself that if Yan Guiqiu ever asked for her life, she probably wouldn’t even complain.

But Yan Guiqiu never asked for anything.

So Gu Yuyin decided to wait, to be there the moment Yan Guiqiu needed her, ready to appear without hesitation.

Later, after acting in love stories and witnessing countless partings and reunions, she couldn’t help but think. Thank goodness I don’t like women.

Love is intense, capable of bringing unparalleled joy.

But it is also fragile, capable of shattering at any moment, leaving behind a lifetime of estrangement and regret.

Especially since Yan Guiqiu could never like her.

Yan Guiqiu was not the embodiment of her ideal lover.

Nor could she fulfill Yan Guiqiu’s perception of “love.”

Being friends is just right, it allows for sharing daily life without any awkwardness, and standing by each other when needed. Though not as intense or intimate as love, it can last a lifetime, watching her live happily and contentedly.

Gu Yuyin’s gaze followed the figure outside the window, slowly drifting into the distance.

Amid the overlapping shadows of the trees, Yan Guiqiu and Jiang Xuehe walked hand in hand, skipping along, the earlier gloom completely gone. They looked lively and spirited, truly like girls their age.

This was all brought about by Jiang Xuehe.

Always the protector, yet in front of someone she loved, she became a child.

Neither of them could achieve that, but Jiang Xuehe did.

She gave selflessly, never demanding equal returns from her friends.

This kind of impartial generosity was also broken by Jiang Xuehe.

Yan Guiqiu began to desire things today, a bit of attention from her lover; tomorrow, perhaps familial love, friendship, reputation all the things she deserved in this world.

Perhaps one day, Yan Guiqiu would truly shed those inexplicably heavy burdens and live the rest of her life joyfully, happily, and passionately.

Someone would share and bear life’s joys and sorrows, sweetness and bitterness with her. She wouldn’t have to eat, sleep, or daydream alone. When stepping out, her shadow would be paired, lively and bustling. She could even hold hands while arguing and truly feel the warmth of another’s embrace.

These most trivial yet warmest and most beautiful things in the world Yan Guiqiu deserved them too.

And it was still Jiang Xuehe who brought these hopes.

So, what was there to be dissatisfied with?

Gu Yuyin thought to herself.

It was just a tiny bit of envy even as friends, sometimes one wishes to be asked for something in return.

But that little bit didn’t really matter now.

Looking up again toward the depths of the tree shadows, Yan Guiqiu and Jiang Xuehe had already walked far away, but Gu Yuyin remembered that they had left hand in hand.

Teasing and joking words swirled on the tip of her tongue a few times, but Gu Yuyin swallowed them all back.

“If Guiqiu truly finds true love and can be this happy and energetic every day, I’d be happier than anyone,” Gu Yuyin finally said.

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