After Appearing On A Marriage Reality Show, The Top Star Cried and Says She Doesn't Want a Divorce - Chapter 39

“Oh, is this it?” The housekeeper glanced at the medication packaging, her tense shoulders relaxing in relief.

Well, that’s all it is.

But the housekeeper’s reaction made Li Tang wary. What did she mean by that? Was she familiar with this medication? Could it be that Xiao Yi frequently used prescription drugs?

“This medication has been in use all along,” the housekeeper said, standing up. “I’ll fetch my work logs. Please wait.”

Moments later, she returned carrying seven logbooks. The first two years’ logs showed yellowed pages and signs of frequent use, while the later years’ logs appeared untouched.

The housekeeper took out the first-year log, flipped to the first two pages, and handed it to Li Tang.

Li Tang glanced at the date: December 25th. The sixth month of their marriage. The second month after Yan Mengyi returned home after visiting Berkeley.

The housekeeper’s entry read:

Madam has been suffering from insomnia for two weeks, often staring blankly and shedding tears for no apparent reason. Following the family doctor’s advice, Madam consulted a psychiatrist and was prescribed antidepressants and sleep medication.

Just reading these words made Li Tang’s heart shatter, splintering into jagged glass shards that pierced her, drawing blood.

She believed she had been so good to Yan Mengyi. She provided her with a lavish lifestyle and took photos of those beautiful, expensive antiques for her.

When Yan Mengyi first suggested divorce, Li Tang felt a flicker of smug anger, dismissing her lover’s concerns as absurd fantasies.

“Why was she suffering?” Li Tang murmured. “Why didn’t she tell me?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Who was she questioning? The housekeeper? Or herself?

She clearly remembered how terrible she’d been feeling during that time. Every time Yan Mengyi asked to video chat, Li Tang would find excuses to avoid it. She’d only wanted to hide her dejected state from her lover, but it had made Yan Mengyi think she was pushing her away.

“It’s because you didn’t answer her calls,” the housekeeper said bluntly, stating the obvious.

The blunt truth struck Li Tang like a hammer. She’d always believed Yan Mengyi’s wild suspicions and mood swings had ruined their marriage. But now, the boomerang of her own actions had returned, striking her right between the eyes.

She should have known. Yan Mengyi was such a gentle and sensitive person. How could she suddenly stop clinging to Li Tang? How could she suddenly become “well-behaved, not acting out, not causing trouble,” just as Li Tang had asked?

Disappointment doesn’t accumulate overnight.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Even now, Li Tang still tried weakly to shift the blame, hoping to lessen her own guilt.

“I assumed Madam would tell you.”

Li Tang lowered her gaze. Her hands, which had always moved so deftly across guitar strings, now trembled uncontrollably.

Seven years had passed—seemingly a long time.

But the actual moments of genuine companionship she’d shared with Yan Mengyi, day in and day out, were few. She hadn’t noticed, and Yan Mengyi hadn’t said a word.

“She never told me.”

When she wasn’t taking medication, could Yan Mengyi really sleep soundly with Li Tang beside her?

Li Tang didn’t know any of this.

“Go get some rest. I need some quiet time.” Li Tang waved the housekeeper away but asked her to leave the work diary behind.

At first, the housekeeper dutifully recorded Yan Mengyi’s daily struggles with grief and loneliness in the diary. But eventually, even the housekeeper grew annoyed by the endless entries and stopped recording them altogether.

Li Tang knew how fragile Yan Mengyi was. No one could possibly piece together their shattered self after such a devastating family upheaval. And as the only lifeline Yan Mengyi had, Li Tang had callously ignored her cries for help.

*******

Li Tang sat on the sofa, silent for a long time.

Wan Cuirong called Li Tang.

Li Tang answered.

Wan Cuirong was surprised. “Every time I called you at this hour during your homecomings before, you never answered. You always said you were busy keeping her company.”

Li Tang smiled bitterly. She wondered if her self-righteous efforts to be there for Yan Mengyi were truly needed.

“Let’s talk business.”

Sensing something was wrong, Wan Cuirong asked tentatively, “Did you argue with Xiao Yi?”

“Nobody’s arguing with me.”

“Then?”

There was no argument, no physical confrontation, nothing had happened. The person was resting, the tree was swaying gently, the wind was whispering through the room, the world was still running smoothly. But Li Tang heard the sound of this family shattering.

It suffocated her.

Her world had been turned upside down, but why was there no sound? She wanted to scream, to roar in fury, but she just sat there quietly.

“Let’s talk business.” Li Tang refused to answer Wan Cuirong’s questions.

“It’s the production team’s fault,” Wan Cuirong said carefully. “They released the trailer for the first episode early. But Mo Zhenyi didn’t present each couple’s situation fairly and objectively, as she promised. Her edit of you and Xiao Yi only showed arguments. This is very bad for your public image.”

Li Tang had never cared about what others thought of her. She didn’t care about her public image at all.

“I believe she violated the spirit of the contract. We have a legitimate reason to terminate it.”

Li Tang was silent for a moment. “I’ll check the online comments first.”

She was mainly afraid that rumors would harm Xiao Yi.

“Of course, I also need to tell you… I have a personal relationship with Director Mo. This might be her revenge against me. From any angle I look at it, I believe you can’t continue participating in this show.”

“Sister Wan, even you can’t handle a romantic entanglement sometimes?” Li Tang teased.

Wan Cuirong was speechless.

Living too long sometimes even makes you unable to see your own heart.

What does this girl, with whom I shared a fleeting night, really want?

Love? Wan Cuirong felt somewhat unfamiliar with the concept and wasn’t sure if she was still capable of loving someone.

All she knew was that hysterical young people were a real headache.

Li Tang opened the main page of Pillowside Lovers.

She saw the flood of online arguments and the defensive battle waged by her fans.

[Goddess Tang treats her wife so poorly.]

[After watching so many variety shows, haven’t you figured out the director’s tricks? The production team will obviously edit the footage to manipulate the narrative. They only exploit our Goddess Tang because she’s a top-tier star with influence. You Korean fans can yap all you want, but even if your two masters had a full-blown brawl on the show, it wouldn’t affect the ratings one bit.]

[I say one thing, and Tang fans flood back with ten. Who’s the one getting their tail stepped on and yelping in pain? I won’t say.]

[You’re the one yelping.]

[No matter how the production team edits it, those arguments really happened, right? Xiao Yi’s hurt feelings were real, and Li Tang’s possessiveness and control over her were real too. On the surface, her possessiveness looks like concern and care, but deep down, it’s disrespect and condescension. She doesn’t believe her own wife is capable of anything.]

[This is just your opinion.]

[I’m just a bystander, but I feel I should speak up. I watched the trailer, and I think Li Tang interferes too much. She’s really self-centered and arrogant.]

******

The bystanders erupted in heated debate.

Li Tang’s fans, defending their idol’s reputation, immediately began organizing a counterattack.

Li Tang didn’t care about the opinions of bystanders or haters, but she was sometimes moved by her fans’ unwavering support.

It felt like no matter what she wanted to do, there would always be someone standing firmly by her side, without question.

Perhaps some of her confidence came from her fans.

But what about Xiao Yi? Xiao Yi had no family left and almost no friends.

She was completely alone.

Yet this attachment felt precarious, like standing on a floating iceberg, constantly on edge.

Li Tang zoomed in on every frame of Xiao Yi in the trailer, studying them closely.

Beneath Yan Mengyi’s calm expression, she detected a faint trace of sorrow.

Li Tang’s heart ached.

No matter how the production team manipulated the editing,

Xiao Yi’s sadness and pain were real.

Should she have an honest conversation with her?

Should she encourage her to venture out and pursue her own career?

Li Tang pondered these questions deeply.

I don’t understand.

She turned off her phone and returned to the bedroom.

Lying down, she wrapped her arms around Yan Mengyi from behind.

Yan Mengyi was sound asleep, unaware of anything.

Li Tang held her tightly, but she seemed restless, subtly struggling to break free.

The prescription drug was supposed to reduce wakefulness, but its side effect was causing nightmares.

In her sleep, Yan Mengyi’s body trembled continuously, trapped in some terrifying dream.

******

Amidst the barrage of criticism, Yan Mengyi’s identity became the focus of a new round of discussions.

[Isn’t that Yan Mengyi from our class?]

[So she’s the one who married Li Tang.]

[Wait, am I remembering this wrong? I thought Yan Mengyi was really close to Yu Zhen, our class president, back in school.]

[Yu Zhen was always so kind and caring towards everyone.]

[Right. When Yan Mengyi’s family went on a trip during her second year of high school, she stayed behind because she was sick. Then their car crashed into a lake and they all died. Yu Zhen offered to let Yan Mengyi move into her house.]

[That’s right. For two whole years, Yu Zhen was practically never apart from Yan Mengyi.]

[But it’s hard to say what it really was. In middle school, the relationships between girls, whether friendship or romance were always so blurry and hard to pin down.]

******

I don’t know about others, but I still can’t really tell the difference between friendship and love.

If someone braves the rain on a rainy day to bring you an umbrella, checks on you constantly, and takes care of you in every possible way, and that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.

Wait, the person above, you’re too late. She’s already married to Li Tang now. There’s no point in saying all this anymore.

Besides, Li Tang actually does a lot in this regard too. She just kept a low profile in school and didn’t like to talk about it.

When Yan Mengyi’s family had that incident, Yu Zhen did organize everyone to visit her first. But don’t forget, it was Li Tang who quietly went to the hospital by herself and stayed overnight in the emergency room. Everyone thought she was aloof but helpful. Now that I think about it, maybe she wasn’t so helpful to everyone, just particularly helpful to Yan Mengyi.

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