A Marriage with A Reason - Chapter 63

As the heavy rain that had been falling fiercely gradually subsided with the deepening night, a faint blue hue lingered in the air as dawn approached. The occasional raindrops tapping against the window formed a quiet melody, echoing through the still streets.

In this blue dawn, when everyone was asleep—Dayun, who had been waiting for Jaehoon, and Jaehoon, who had been running towards Dayun—were both lost in a pleasant dream that they wouldn’t remember in the morning. However, one person remained awake, unable to sleep. That person was Hyeyun. For some reason, she had stepped out onto the balcony, cupping a warm mug of coffee in her hands. The rich aroma of the coffee mixed with the damp, sharp scent of rain, creating an odd contrast to the crisp morning air.

“The morning air isn’t too bad… It’s been a while.”

It truly had been. She only caught glimpses of the early morning on nights when she worked overtime. But lately, it had been a long time since she had seen the blue dawn like this. Having unwillingly let go of Jaehoon, whom she had desperately clung to, she found herself restless, unable to sleep. Somehow, this dawn’s deep blue felt even colder than usual. Despite the freshness of the air, the color of the sky seemed oddly alien, making her feel even smaller and lonelier.

Taking a sip of her coffee, Hyeyun suddenly recalled the events of the previous night. It had been embarrassing, something she never wanted to be caught in again. Yet, she had been the one to bring it up, evoking sympathy. And despite everything, just like the relentless downpour, Jaehoon had turned away from her so sharply. She didn’t want to think about it, but the memory kept resurfacing—just as foreign and unsettling as this blue dawn.

Last night, when she saw Jaehoon coming up to her apartment…

“I bought some porridge. Do you want to eat now?”

Jaehoon entered, having punched in the same password that had yet to be changed. He placed the takeout container of porridge on the dining table, preparing it for her.

“It’s probably best if you eat something before taking medicine.”

“No… My stomach doesn’t feel great right now. I’ll eat later when I feel better.”

“Oh… Okay.”

Hearing her words, Jaehoon backed away from the porridge.

“Um… Jaehoon, I’m sorry, but can you get me some water instead? My throat feels dry.”

“Ah, sure.”

Jaehoon immediately poured her a glass of water and handed it to her.

“Here, drink slowly. Don’t rush.”

“Mm, thanks.”

Seeing him like this made Hyeyun feel as if he still cared for her. Maybe that was why she couldn’t help but smile, even now as she took the water from him. It had been so long since he had shown her concern. Perhaps because of the situation, he had slipped into casual speech naturally, as he used to. He didn’t even seem to realize it.

Feeling uncharacteristically happy, Hyeyun accidentally spilled some water. Jaehoon, startled, quickly reached for some tissues and handed them to her.

“Be careful.”

“Ah… Thank you.”

Even that moment felt so precious to her. As she wiped her lips and clothes with the tissue he gave her, she spoke.

“This feeling… It’s been a long time.”

“What feeling?”

“You caring about me.”

“…Huh?”

“Jaehoon worrying about me, taking care of me… It’s been so long. Even hearing you talk like this—so casually. I like it. It feels like we’ve gone back to the way things were.”

As Hyeyun smiled brightly, Jaehoon suddenly felt a sense of unease. He wasn’t sure what mistake he had made, but he knew he had made one. It was as if he had accidentally erased a boundary he had carefully drawn.

So, he tried to correct it.

“Don’t misunderstand. We can’t go back.”

Her smile disappeared, and she looked at him with eyes full of resentment. Her gaze seemed to ask, ‘Did you really have to say that?’

“If it weren’t me, any other coworker would have done the same. Anyone would have worried and bought porridge and medicine in a situation like this. You know it too, don’t you? We can’t go back. My feelings have changed. Your feelings have changed. No matter how similar the circumstances are to before, our hearts aren’t the same anymore, Hyeyun.”

His voice, once so warm when he called her name, now sounded unbearably cold. Hyeyun squeezed her eyes shut and whispered.

“I haven’t changed. I swear I haven’t.”

“I already told you, you have. You just refuse to admit it. And even if you hadn’t changed, it wouldn’t make a difference. I have changed.”

“I can fix it.”

“No, you can’t.”

“I can. I’ll wait for you.”

But nothing changed. Jaehoon had already drawn the line, making it clear that it was over.

“Don’t wait. I’m not coming back.”

With those words, Hyeyun fell silent. Jaehoon didn’t know if she was hurt or lost in thought. All he knew was that the raindrops, once light, were now falling heavier and heavier.

‘It won’t start thundering, will it?’

Dayun was likely waiting alone at home for him. He needed to leave before the rain got worse. With that in mind, he stood up. Seeing this, Hyeyun’s eyes widened.

“You’re… leaving now?”

Her gaze seemed to plead, ‘You’re leaving me like this? When I’m sick?’

Jaehoon nodded.

“Yes. There’s no reason for me to stay.”

“There is! I’m here! I’m sick!”

“I know you’re sick.”

“And you’re still leaving?”

Her words frustrated him. What did her being sick have to do with him staying?

“That’s why I bought you food. I offered to take you to the hospital, but you refused.”

“That’s not what I meant! Why have you changed so much? You weren’t like this before. You weren’t the kind of person who could coldly walk away from someone who was hurting.”

Jaehoon let out a sigh, his voice turning ice-cold again.

“You’re the one being unreasonable. I’m married. Leaving the person I love alone and staying here instead? That’s what doesn’t make sense. And you trying to hold onto me—it’s wrong.”

With that, he turned away. But he couldn’t take a step forward.

“Don’t go, Jaehoon… Please, don’t go.”

She clung to him from behind, her grip surprisingly strong for someone who was supposedly sick.

“I’m so lonely… It’s killing me. Please… Save me.”

But he only responded firmly.

“Pity isn’t love. We can’t be together.”

With that, Hyeyun collapsed onto the floor as Jaehoon walked away. The dawn felt even lonelier than before.

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