A Change of Husband - Chapter 69

The young king opened his eyes.

His life had ended, and his body could no longer move, but he could not go anywhere.

There were too many things in the world still holding onto his breath.

A strange power bound him. More precisely, it bound the time of his physical body.

Though his eyes were open, he could not open the eyes of his body. He could think, but the brain of his body did not work.

Unable to move even a fingertip, the young king’s soul wandered and longed.

He wished to end his life.

The strange power that tied down the time of his body also, surprisingly, affected his soul.

At one point, the young king was able to move.

By then, much time had passed, and he had even forgotten his own name, Hort.

He tried many times to end his life.

He tried using the strange power around his body to choke himself, and for a long time, he left his body behind.

But no being is born just to die, and so his soul was forced to return to his body.

All his attempts to die failed, and finally, the young king admitted it—his body was no longer his.

So he left.

But when he left his body, the strange power that supported his soul also disappeared, and so he could not go far for a very long time.

His thoughts were no longer human, but he still had instinctive understanding.

The young king often stayed near his body, then left again.

The world his soul saw was much wider and larger than the world he ruled as king, but sadly, the soul could not recognize him.

More time passed.

One day, the soul found a woman.

She had no strange power, yet somehow, when he stayed near her, he no longer needed to return to his body to take that power.

The soul did not return to the body that smelled of death. Instead, he stayed with the woman.

The woman became pregnant.

The child in her womb had no soul, even though it should have.

No one knew this, but the soul had eyes that could see souls.

Maybe, if he entered the child’s body and took its place, then perhaps he could finally die.

With this instinctive thought, the soul entered the woman’s womb and became her child.

Time passed.

The woman was dying.

Sensing danger, the soul came out of the child’s body and looked at her.

It was true. The woman was dying.

The soul could not think or feel like a human. But still, he instinctively knew—he did not want her to die.

To save her, the soul took her soul out of her dying body and brought it to a safe place.

That place was a world the soul didn’t fully understand—similar but unfamiliar.

The dream she had after spending the night with Esperad showed too much all at once. It confused her, but for Asilie, it made some things clear.

It explained how, during the first attack, Esperad was able to fight off many assassins to protect her.

It explained how, during the second attack, Asilie blocked a dagger with surprising reflexes.

It explained how, during the third attack, Lydia protected her using magic that current Asilie could not use.

It explained how, when Joseph kidnapped her, Esperad arrived just in time to save her.

All of these things would have been impossible—if not for that child, that pitiful king.

The soul did not know why he didn’t want Asilie to die, but after watching his long journey through his eyes, she understood.

He had stayed near her because she shared Lydia’s blood. That’s how he entered the body of a child who would have died at birth.

And during that time together, the soul came to love Asilie—as a mother.

Every time she said loving words to the child in her belly, every time she sang thinking the child could hear her, every time she told her stories…

Hearing all of that, feeling all of that, sharing that time—he came to love her. That’s why he didn’t want her to die.

Even if Asilie might have used the baby just to soften Joseph’s heart.

Even if she had been too happy in this world to even think of the child.

Still, the soul protected her until he found eternal rest through Agua Nale Roja.

Maybe it was because she learned that too late—her chest felt like it was breaking from guilt.

But she couldn’t even take time to mourn the child.

The baby who had protected her no longer existed in this world, and her body was growing weaker.

So Asilie went to find Agua Nale Roja.

As if she had been waiting, Agua Nale Roja calmly explained all the scenes Asilie had seen in her dream.

“…What happens to me when my time runs out?”

After laughing strangely for a while, Agua Nale Roja finally answered in a soft voice, though her words were cruel.

“All human lives end the same way. Whether born a beggar or born a king, we all return to dust. That too is a gift from the gods.”

Asilie had expected that answer, but hearing it still made her heart sink.

Her body was weakening day by day, like an old person nearing death. And though she didn’t expect a miracle, she had still hoped for one.

But reality gave her no mercy.

“Master, what are you saying… are you saying my sister is going to die?”

Her younger sister’s frightened voice didn’t even reach Asilie’s ears.

Looking into the air with a pale face, Asilie suddenly met Agua Nale Roja’s eyes and asked,

“Is there no way to live?”

That was the real question she wanted to ask.

She wanted to live—no matter what method it took. She didn’t want to die.

She had just found happiness. She had just been able to stay by the side of the one she loved. She couldn’t leave like this.

Couldn’t she be just a little more selfish?

“You might live—if you avoid death and accept protection from those who love you. But the more you do, the more danger will come to those around you.”

“…What do you mean?”

“You go against the flow of the world. And those who try to protect you help you do that. Yes, you may survive. But you will eat away at the lives of those around you, shorten their time.”

“Ha…”

Tears she had held back finally fell.

She began to think maybe the scars disappearing from her body were a sign her existence in this world was fading.

Because there was almost no time left, the scars had vanished too.

“A short time, you say…”

“A king and queen who rule a country can affect many lives with small decisions. That is why they feel many things.”

Agua Nale Roja, looking straight at the hopeless Asilie, added with a tone of pity.

“From the new king, I felt the sun. But from you, here in this world, I felt nothing at all.”

She meant Asilie would die without ever becoming queen.

“I’ve told you everything. Only because the time is close.”

Probably during the coronation, or before it.

On the day Esperad receives his crown, Asilie will receive a tiara and become this country’s queen.

She still wanted to live.

But she didn’t want to do it by stealing the life of someone she loved.

Asilie knew that when Esperad found out, he would try to protect her. He had the power to do so.

But if her presence made Esperad’s life harder, and shortened his time—then that would be harder to bear.

She didn’t want to die. But she didn’t want to live that way either.

Maybe she was saying all this because death wasn’t right in front of her yet.

But in the end, her fate was already decided.

Humans cannot go against the flow of the world.

“Go now. If you waste your limited time like this, you will regret it.”

At Agua Nale Roja’s cold advice, Asilie nodded and wiped her tears.

It might have sounded harsh, but every word was true.

If she only had until the coronation, there were just two days left.

So Asilie truly had to prepare to end her life.

Had time ever felt this terrifying before?

There was a time she thought it would be better to know in advance when death would come, but now that she actually knew, she could only feel helpless.

Asilie had written a short letter and sent it along with documents related to the inheritance that Sofia and Jonathan should receive. Then she quietly looked at Esperad.

He was checking the seating arrangement for the banquet with the nobles after the coronation. Watching him, Asilie tried not to show her emotions, but her chest tightened with emotion.

Now she understood what it meant to want to see someone even while looking at them.

Soon, she would have to say a true goodbye to Esperad.

It hadn’t been long since they confirmed their feelings for each other.

She had thought they would have many more happy days together, but those days were much shorter than she had vaguely imagined.

Since the moment she learned of her death, her emotions had changed a dozen times a day.

At times, she thought it was better to know in advance, but other times, she felt disgust at the cruelty of the world.

If happiness was going to be taken away so quickly, then maybe she shouldn’t have known at all. If she hadn’t known, she could’ve died without regret.

It was painful that she could no longer feel Esperad’s warm body.

Looking at him, touching his skin, brushing his soft hair, smelling his scent—knowing all that would become distant and unreachable hurt deeply.

At the same time, she felt sorry.

Death would be the end for her, but he would have to live on, missing her.

She wished he would never forget her, but she also hoped he would forget her soon and find happiness again. Those conflicting wishes stirred in her heart.

Even that contradiction made her feel ashamed.

Even in this moment, it seemed she was thinking of herself before him. That selfish part of her made her upset.

“How about a walk at night for the first time in a while?”

“…Shall we?”

Lost in thought, Asilie barely managed to respond to his suggestion without delay.

Esperad’s hand, reaching out to her agreement, was so big and warm that it made her want to cry.

Holding her hand firmly, he led her into the garden without knowing anything.

“This is our last night as the Duke and Duchess of Camedici, Asilie.”

“It is.”

“So many things happened during that time.”

Looking back, it hadn’t been a short time.

Yet, it also felt too short for it to end like this.

Asilie forced a smile and nodded without answering, worried she would start crying again.

“It is.”

“Thank you for staying by my side. Really, without you, I could never have come this far.”

“Me too. Thank you… for being by my side.”

To hold back her tears, Asilie had to think of something silly that didn’t even come to mind.

Otherwise, she would break down and cry in his arms like yesterday.

She might even cry and beg not to die.

“From tomorrow, I must be careful with everything I say and do as the king of this country. So today, when I still have some freedom, I’ll say what I want.”

“…Please say it.”

“I love you.”

“…”

“Ruling a country, becoming a king, it’s such a heavy burden. But still, as your husband, as your partner, I’ll think of you first. I’ll never neglect our relationship for the sake of royal duties.”

She felt like crying.

No, the tears were already falling.

“If I ever hurt you by focusing too much on the country…”

“Stop.”

Asilie couldn’t take it and cut him off.

She looked like she was about to cry, but she barely held back and spoke with a trembling voice and a smile.

“You won’t do that. So you can stop talking.”

“But Asilie—”

“Be a good king, a just king. That’s all I want. If you can do that, I’ll be the happiest person in the world…”

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m thankful. Just that thought alone moves me so much… it’s too much for me to handle…”

Esperad smiled and pulled her into his arms.

Asilie said nothing and cried silently in his embrace.

She couldn’t cry too long. She knew he would find it strange.

“Thank you for everything, Esperad.”

“Thank you always, Asilie.”

“I love you.”

Though she knew this might be the last time she’d say it, she also hoped it wouldn’t be.

And so, Asilie poured out her heavy, deep feelings.

She didn’t know a kiss on the forehead could feel so sad.

The moment she opened her eyes, she knew.

She knew today would be the day she died.

Even if Agua Nale Roja hadn’t warned her, she would have sensed it. Today was her fated day.

The air felt heavy. Everything felt like it was against her.

Still, Asilie smiled.

She tried hard to smile, tried not to show her fear.

While dressing up for the coronation, out of all the many accessories, she chose the diamond necklace she had received as a wedding gift.

She wanted to end her life as his wife.

Facing the coronation, she felt strangely at peace.

To die as his wife—wasn’t that happiness too?

Or maybe, she was just trying hard to believe that.

“You once said, if I ever left first, you’d find me no matter what.”

She brought it up only to say: don’t look for me.

She was afraid she would become something that drained his life. She wanted to tell him he didn’t need to do that.

But she couldn’t say it. The coronation began.

The air grew heavier. The hostility around her sharpened. Then, true fear of death struck her.

She regretted not telling him she loved him before the ceremony.

She regretted every moment she had not spent wisely, even after knowing she would die.

That was when she saw the dagger in Cordelia’s hand.

The moment she saw it, she knew—that dagger would kill her.

But she couldn’t stop herself from jumping in front of Esperad.

To die for the one she loved—that was the best choice she had left.

“Ahh…!”

She tried not to scream, but the pain was too much.

“Asilie!”

His voice rang in her ears, and for a moment, her mind went blank.

“Es… huh…”

She didn’t even know what she was saying.

All she could feel was the pain… and that death was coming.

There was no time to look at him or touch him again.

If it weren’t for Esperad’s hot tears falling on her cheek, she might not have regained her senses before dying.

Her blurry vision barely found him. When she finally saw his face clearly, she instinctively knew—she had very little time left.

“Don’t… cry… I’m happy… to die as your wife…”

It hurt that she couldn’t finish her sentence properly.

She wanted to say, “I’m happy to die as your wife.” She wanted to let him know that.

“You’re not dying. You’ll be okay, so don’t say that. Please…”

She wanted to believe him.

But she knew it wasn’t true. The world was too cruel for that.

Asilie swallowed her tears and pain, and barely managed to speak.

“For me… just dying… as your woman… is enough…”

“Asilie, no. Please, no…”

His pleading face made her weak, but she had to say it.

“…Please… meet someone else.”

Don’t look for me.

Don’t remember me.

Forget me, someone who would only shorten your life. Please meet someone kind.

“…What…?”

His confused face hurt her heart, but even now, selfish as she was, she could only say what she wanted—not answer his question.

“I loved…”

She couldn’t even finish.

Darkness came.

But strangely, she was satisfied that her confession last night hadn’t been the final one.

She had loved him.

She had been happy to receive his love.

Though she died in pain, deep down, she was happy to die in his arms. So, please, forget her and be happy.

Her first death was out of hatred.

But her second death was out of love.

 

End of Part 1