A Change of Husband - Chapter 44

She had never imagined things would turn out like this.

Asilie, who had been quietly looking at him, soon turned her eyes away.

Thinking deeply about the meaning behind Esperad’s words felt like it would give her a headache.

She believed she didn’t have the luxury to think that far.

Even though Esperad had told her she didn’t need to listen, she still sensed that he actually wanted to explain.

That was why she began to talk, even though he hadn’t asked.

“When I was young, my father used to hug Lydia and me and always said this: ‘My beloved babies, my precious princesses, my treasures…’ Sometimes, he even called us ‘the fruits of love.’”

Her father used to say,

Even though we were poor and he struggled painfully to get through the hardship, he still gained strength and felt happy whenever he saw his two lovely daughters.

He thanked them for being born, saying they were his entire world.

Even though Asilie’s childhood was full of poverty, it was also filled with love.

They were dirt poor and always hungry, but at least there was an abundance of love between the parents and children.

And then, she lost everything all at once—her father, and Lydia.

Asilie was suddenly left alone in a cold, cruel, and merciless world.

Having lost the people on her side, she needed someone to lean on.

Prince Joseph, loved by everyone, seemed like the right person—at least on the outside.

But what she ended up facing was cold rejection and cruel mockery.

Still, she had loved him.

If it hadn’t been love, she wouldn’t have been so desperate.

There are many kinds of love, but Asilie thought that even her intense, obsessive attachment had been a form of love.

Even if it was that kind of love, it was still love.

“My father taught me that when I find someone I love, when my heart is full of love, I should have a child with all of that love.”

“………”

“I don’t want to betray that teaching.”

This time, no matter what.

Asilie barely swallowed the last words in her throat, then looked at Esperad and gave a clear reason.

“A child should never be treated as a tool to achieve a goal. A child… a child must at least be born as the fruit of love.”

In her past life, she broke a promise she made to herself.

Even though she knew the child in her womb wasn’t conceived through love.

Even though she knew she wouldn’t be able to love the child just for existing and would end up using it to gain his love.

Even then, she didn’t realize her own mistake and threw herself into that path.

Maybe that miserable end had been brought on by her own blindness.

And that mistake had taken away an innocent life forever.

Her vision was blurry.

Was it because of the memories of the past? Or because of the guilt over the child that had disappeared like that?

Before she even realized it, tears had started falling and soaked her cheeks.

Asilie forced a smile and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe away her tears.

Esperad hadn’t said anything particularly emotional, so she worried he might find her tears strange.

As if he read her mind, Esperad slowly spoke.

“You can cry.”

“…What?”

“But if the reason for your tears is guilt for not being able to help me,
Then I’d rather you didn’t cry.”

She wanted to say that wasn’t the reason, but he spoke first.

“Everything you said is right. A child should never be born for such reasons.
And in the same way…”

Esperad looked straight into Asilie’s eyes.

“Nothing related to you should be used as a means to an end.”

Even with blurry eyes from her endless tears, Asilie still found his blue eyes unusually clear.
She wiped her tears again.

Esperad gently placed his large hand on her head and spoke softly.

“I hope you’ll stay by my side without feeling any pressure. For a long time—if possible, until the end of my humble life.”

“If my period comes again this month, I won’t be able to take it anymore!”

Cordelia, biting her lips and showing her irritation, finally shouted sharply.

Count Mirk felt his annoyance rising.

Esperad had started to poke around, as if he had noticed something.

And the conservative nobles, feeling uneasy, were urging him more and more.

But turning the impossible into possible wasn’t easy, even for him.

This situation was the same.

They had scheduled the visit to the palace according to the famous physician’s suggestion.

She had taken all the medicine that was said to be effective.

And then, they had shared an unpleasant night together.

But still, no child had been conceived. What more could he do?

Count Mirk barely held back the urge to slap the whining woman.

Instead, with the same hand he had just imagined hitting her, he gently pulled the blanket up to cover her bare shoulder.

“Why are you in such a hurry, Your Majesty?”

“Do you think I’d act like this if I wasn’t desperate?”

“You’ve extended your life with the help of a wizard, and there’s no fear of being found out.
A physician said that stress makes it even harder to get pregnant.”

“Ha! Count! You know exactly what I want.
So why do you keep saying things that only make me more anxious?”

Cordelia wanted him to get rid of Esperad right away.

Ever since he had taken a wife, her anxiety had only grown.

“It’s too dangerous to touch him now, Your Majesty.”

“And letting this go on isn’t dangerous?”

“Our secret will remain safe.”

“No, there’s no guarantee we won’t be exposed someday.”

“Your Majesty, I am visiting you to comfort you, the Queen and my niece-in-law.
That’s always been the public reason. No one will suspect anything.”

Cordelia shut her eyes tightly.

No matter how much she talked, it didn’t get through.

It felt like talking to a wall.

He must know how she felt, but Count Mirk drew a clear line when it came to eliminating Duke Camedići.

But that didn’t mean he had no ambition for the throne.

Which only confused her more now.

“Just be honest with me, Count.

We’re in this together.

Tell me why you won’t eliminate him.

Why do you just leave him be? Tell me!”

“In the past, I didn’t touch him because I didn’t feel the need.
But now, it’s truly difficult, Your Majesty.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you before—there’s an unspoken rule.
Duke Camedići is acting strangely, like he’s figured something out.
If we move recklessly now, it’ll all end before we can do anything.”

“Ha…”

She was sick of these ridiculous excuses.

Cordelia let out a hollow laugh and turned away from him.

“I want you to leave now.”

“Your Majesty…”

“I said leave! I don’t feel well. Do you think I’d be in good shape taking medicine all the time,
Always being nervous about accepting you? Stop adding to my stress!”

Count Mirk felt a surge of anger at her sharp shout.

Thankfully, he managed to control himself again this time.

He bowed deeply and left the Queen’s chambers.

Outside the room, Cordelia’s personal maid was waiting with her head bowed.

“Odette.”

“Yes, Your Excellency.”

“Keep the servants quiet. If anyone suspicious shows up, report it to me immediately.
Understand?”

“I will obey your order.”

Everyone who could approach Cordelia was someone he had placed himself.

But even so, he couldn’t afford to let his guard down.

After repeating the warning, Count Mirk finally left the palace grounds.

“Hmm…”

Normally, he would’ve gone straight home.

But today, he wanted to walk through the royal garden and clear his thoughts.

This garden held memories from his childhood.

No—the entire palace was full of happy memories that made him smile.

And in those memories, his older brother, King Brium III, and his young uncle, Astron—the previous Duke of Camedići—were always there.

Those were carefree, joyful days.

He had been so much happier then.

“…Yes, those were good times.”

Though he had a close bond with his brother Brium III.

He had been even closer with Astron.

He and Astron had been like soulmates.

They liked the same things, were talented at the same things—

And eventually, they even fell for the same woman.

Rihanna.

A name he no longer dared to speak aloud.

Astron had her. He didn’t.

But it wasn’t supposed to be that way.

He was the one who should’ve been with Rihanna, not Astron.

The gods’ cruel joke had turned Cartel Mirk into a wreck and driven him to the edge.

Now, the young man who once laughed at small joys was gone—

All that was left was a lonely middle-aged man who had lost everything.

At that ball…

He had been the first to meet Rihanna, the princess of Descartes.

Like he was bewitched, Count Mirk had asked her to dance.
And with a bright smile that showed all her perfect white teeth, she accepted his invitation.

“What’s your name?”

“Cartel. I am Cartel Mirk.”

“I’m Rihanna, Cartel. Can I call you Cartel?”

He fell for her helplessly.

The two went out to the balcony and talked, and soon after, they shared a deep kiss.

It was a fateful kiss. Count Mirk thought there was no way he could not fall in love with this woman.

So he left it up to fate.

“I think I’ve completely fallen for you.”

“I’m glad.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because I’m not the only one who feels that way.”

It was their first meeting.

Even so, the two promised to stay together in the future.

Both Cartel and Rihanna believed the other was their destined partner.

But that day, Astron also saw Rihanna.

Maybe it was because Astron and Cartel were soulmates—close as brothers—but even he, who had never shown any interest in women, instantly fell for the woman who had captured Cartel at first sight.

Count Mirk couldn’t bring himself to tell Astron, who was excited to say that he had finally fallen for a woman, that he and Rihanna were already lovers.

All he could say was that he had feelings for Rihanna too.

“Then let’s compete fairly. I’m going to propose to Rihanna. Let’s see who she chooses.”

Astron stood firm in his feelings and passionately pursued Rihanna.

When Rihanna later found out that Astron and Cartel were close, she showed clear concern.

“What should I do? Duke Camedici has proposed to me, Cartel.”

“Sigh… and now we can’t even reveal that we’re lovers…”

“Oh! How about this? You said your swordsmanship is a bit better than Duke Camedici’s, didn’t you?”

Rihanna suggested a duel that Count Mirk was sure to win.

In everything else, Astron and Cartel were evenly matched. But in one area—swordsmanship—Count Mirk was clearly superior.

Count Mirk was confident he would win. But the result was shocking—he lost.

Even though Rihanna had arranged the duel, hoping he would win.

He had already won her heart, so he underestimated Astron’s desperate desire to win her love and let his guard down.

Rihanna couldn’t take back her suggestion. It was a matter of honor for the Descartes.

In the end, with no other way out, she had no choice but to marry Astron.

And so, Count Mirk lost the woman he loved more than himself to his best friend.

“Why haven’t you been coming to the Medici mansion lately?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“That’s disappointing. I know I’m not the only master of the mansion anymore, but it still hurts to think that a friend who used to come often now feels uncomfortable in our home.”

He just couldn’t bear to see them, so Count Mirk started avoiding Astron altogether.

But Astron, his closest friend, noticed the change and wouldn’t let it go.

“No way… is it because of Rihanna?”

“I just… thought it might be polite not to visit, in case the Duchess felt uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable? You’re not still thinking about that little incident before the wedding, are you?”

“…Incident?”

“Haha, don’t worry. Rihanna thinks of that time—our duel and everything—as a funny memory now. She said you can visit anytime.”

He wished Astron hadn’t said that.

To hear that what still caused him deep pain had become just a memory to Rihanna… it was unbearable.

Foolishly, Count Mirk was provoked by those words and started visiting the Medici mansion again.

As if nothing had happened, like old times, as Astron’s friend. And he secretly enjoyed seeing Rihanna’s discomfort or unease.

Every time he saw her troubled face, Count Mirk found strange comfort in it.

Because at least it wasn’t just him who was struggling—what a pathetic thought.

Watching the woman who had become his friend’s wife while pretending to be unaffected sometimes tore him apart inside, but still, he endured. He endured well.

So he should have kept enduring. Even though he didn’t last long.

It was one evening when he had been invited to dinner at the Medici mansion.

Count Mirk drank too much wine. Seeing Astron take care of Rihanna, and seeing Rihanna accept that care so naturally—it made him furious, and he stormed out.

He was walking through the garden, trying to calm himself, when he ran into Rihanna, who had come looking for him.

“Astron is looking for you. Please go back.”

“Rihanna.”

“…Yes?”

“Are you happy?”

Count Mirk could never forget the way her blue eyes stared at him in silence when he asked that.

“Yes… I’m happy.”

“Ha… happy. So you’re happy. And I’m this miserable.”

“Cartel, don’t say that. I hope you find happiness too. I mean it.”

“How could someone who’s never once forgotten you be happy? You know how strong my feelings for you were…”

“You can’t do this anymore. People have to adapt to their situation.”

“Rihanna.”

“Cartel, I’m a person too. It’s over between us, and now Astron is the one beside me. Please understand. How could I possibly reject the sincere love of my husband?”

Unfortunately, at that moment, Rihanna’s words sounded to him like scolding for his own recklessness.

Unlike her, the foolish and selfish man couldn’t accept that their relationship had truly ended with her marriage.

That was where his mistake began.