Distorted Fairy Tale - Chapter 28

When the icy seawater flooded his nostrils and throat, Song Zhen felt as if a thousand tiny blades were scraping against his windpipe. A violent, searing burn erupted from his chest.

Biological instinct drove him to struggle, but his surroundings were a void pitch black and terrifyingly silent. There was no one to notice that a life was about to meet its quiet conclusion.

The water pressed against his eardrums, making every sound feel distant and distorted, as if filtered through thick glass. The only thing Song Zhen could hear was the frantic, thundering beat of his own heart.

His vision began to fail, as if ink were bleeding into his eyes, slowly devouring the world bit by bit.

At a certain point, the pain abruptly vanished. He felt only a profound stillness, the kind of peace that comes when one reaches the absolute end, where nothing matters anymore.

His love, his hatred, his obsession all of it, along with this physical shell, would be buried in the sea. His body would be claimed by the ocean’s creatures; even his marrow would become nourishment for microscopic life. I suppose, Song Zhen thought with a hollow melancholy, my life won’t be entirely useless after all.

He closed his eyes and waited for the darkness to take him, reflecting on a life that felt devoid of meaning or value. Perhaps if he died, no one would truly remember.

Zhou Nining might shed a tear, but Zhou Nining had many friends, and Song Zhen was never the most important one. He would make new friends, and perhaps, on rare occasions, sigh with a fleeting memory of the past before time washed it away entirely.

Ji Qinglin might burn some joss paper for him. But Ji Qinglin was famous now, his life busy and demanding. He would spend his days inhabiting other people’s lives; maybe he would recall Song Zhen when playing a similar character, a momentary pang for a departed soul.

And Fu Yuhang…

Fu Yuhang might be momentarily surprised by his death before returning to his usual cold indifference. He might even feel a sense of relief, the only blemish on his perfect life finally erased. He would marry an Omega of equal standing, have new children, and continue his glittering life as the favoured son of heaven.

Song Zhen had no one left to miss. As he reviewed the people he had encountered in his final days, he realised their lives would continue largely unchanged without him. He decided that was for the best.

He had always been the one abandoned. This time, he would be the one to abandon the world. He didn’t want any of it anymore.

He was so tired. So sleepy.

As his consciousness flickered out, he whispered a single word to the world in his heart.

Goodbye.

“Wake up! Hey, wake up!”

A voice as clear as a mountain spring pulled Song Zhen back from the brink.

He forced his eyes open with great effort, only to see a completely unfamiliar face. It was a youth, not particularly striking in appearance, but with eyes that were impossibly bright and pure.

“You’re finally awake!” the boy said, breaking into a wide grin.

“Who are you.?” Song Zhen looked around. He seemed to be inside a tent? “Where is this.?”

The youth hoisted him onto his back. “I’ll get you to the hospital first! Ask your questions later.”

At the hospital, after the doctors confirmed he was out of danger, the youth finally let out a sigh of relief. The medical staff praised his professional first-aid technique and his timely intervention.

The boy scratched his head, looking embarrassed.

Song Zhen watched him, feeling an indescribable sadness. Even when he had sought out the sea at such an hour, he had been saved. It seemed God wouldn’t even grant him the freedom to choose his own end.

The youth looked no more than seventeen or eighteen. How could he be so brave? What if he had drowned trying to save me?

“It was so late. why were you at the shore?” Song Zhen’s voice was a jagged rasp.

They sat together on the plastic chairs in the hospital corridor. The boy watched the people passing by. “I heard there might be a bioluminescent sea tonight, so I pitched a tent to stay the night. I wanted to see it with my own eyes. Then I saw a shadow walking into the water. I didn’t think twice, I just jumped in. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?”

“Because you didn’t look like someone who wanted to be saved,” the boy said, his expression clouding with a touch of sadness. “I took it upon myself to bring you back.”

Song Zhen studied him for a moment. “Don’t apologise.”

Saving a life was not a mistake. A kind person should never feel sorry for their kindness. It was only because he was too thoughtful, too considerate of others, that he would offer such an apology.

“Thank you,” Song Zhen said with genuine sincerity.

The boy looked relieved and gave a small smile. “It’s nothing.” Then he added, “Gege, did something happen? If you want, you can tell me. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger.”

“It’s not exactly that I wanted to die,” Song Zhen replied. “I just… didn’t want to live anymore.”

There was a subtle but profound difference. Those who want to die have an active desire for self-destruction. “Not wanting to live” was a passive loss of purpose, a state of having no reason to continue. Song Zhen didn’t crave death; he just couldn’t bear the thought of living in solitude.

“Gege,” the boy said, his gaze turning serious. “Life is precious.”

“Look at me. I was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer at the start of the year. The doctors said I have less than a year left.” He spoke with the casual air of someone commenting on the weather.

Song Zhen stared at him in shock. He was so young.

The boy smiled. “My home is in a small town near F City. I was just accepted into A University, though I won’t be going now. I want to spend my final year seeing the world. I’ve never even left F City before. A City is my first stop. A few days ago, I walked around the A University campus.” His eyes shone like stars. “It’s so beautiful there.”

“I heard about the bioluminescent sea, so I planned to see that before moving on to my next stop. And then I ran into you.”

“A University is a brilliant school.” Song Zhen fell into a daze. In high school, he too had fantasised about going there. But…

“I dropped out in my second year. I never even finished high school.” Song Zhen didn’t know why he was telling this to a stranger, but after the boy had shared his story, it felt only fair to offer something in return. “To be accepted into A University. you must be incredibly smart.”

“My parents were quite strict,” the boy said, pouting slightly. “They always cared about my grades, but I never actually liked studying. I always wanted to travel. They used to say I was lazy and just wanted to play. But now…” he gave a helpless smile, “they’ve finally agreed.”

“If I can do everything I want and see every place I’ve dreamt of in this final year, then when I finally become a ghost, I’ll be a well-travelled one,” he laughed.

Watching the boy’s innocent smile, Song Zhen felt a pang of injustice. Why would fate play such a cruel joke on someone so bright and kind? To give him a place at such a prestigious university and then tell him he had a year to live.

If he could have traded his life for the boy’s, Song Zhen would have done it in a heartbeat. One desperate to live but plagued by illness; the other healthy but longing for the end. Fate was a cruel comedian.

“What’s your name?” Song Zhen asked.

“Bai Yichen,” the boy replied. “And yours, Gege?”

“I’m Song Zhen.”

“Song Zhen-ge, do you want to see the bioluminescent sea?” Bai Yichen’s eyes sparkled.

Song Zhen’s first instinct was to refuse. He had planned to wait for the boy to leave before returning to the water. This time, he would make sure no one was around. But Bai Yichen’s gaze was so earnest, and a spark of curiosity flickered within him.

“Alright,” Song Zhen nodded, as if moved by an unseen force.

He could die after seeing it. It wouldn’t be too late.

Bai Yichen and Song Zhen stopped at a noodle shop. At this hour, it was hard to tell if it was an early breakfast or a very late lunch.

Initially, the name of the shop felt familiar. When he saw the owner, Song Zhen froze in shock. The owner was equally stunned.

“Xiao Zhen!”

“Mr He?!”

They cried out simultaneously. This was the same noodle shop Song Zhen and Song Heng had frequented in the slums. He had thought it had gone out of business, but the owner had simply moved to A City and expanded.

“It’s been so long.” Mr He smiled. “Where’s Xiao Heng? Is he not with you?”

Song Zhen’s smile faltered. “He’s busy.”

Both Song Zhen and Bai Yichen ordered the signature beef noodle soup. As the hot, fragrant steam hit his face and the noodles touched his tongue, Song Zhen’s eyes grew misty. A single tear fell into his bowl.

Suddenly, he felt that not dying yesterday was… a good thing.

Bai Yichen ate heartily, praising the food. “These noodles are… incredible.” Seeing Song Zhen’s reddened eyes, he handed over a napkin but didn’t pry.

After their meal, they sat by the shore, letting the sea breeze wash over them. The afternoon passed in a blur of conversation. Bai Yichen confessed that his grades weren’t always good, he had been pushed into them. He told Song Zhen that when he was diagnosed, he actually felt a sense of relief. Finally, he could relax.

As the sun began to set, Bai Yichen pulled a world map from his rucksack. He pointed to a spot. “We are here. I’m going to keep heading north. I’ll take the international train to Country E, then move on to Country F.” He traced a winding path with his finger. “I’ll see so many different landscapes. My final stop will be here: Ushuaia, the End of the World.”

“The local post office there has a special ‘End of the World’ postmark,” he smiled. “I’ll send you a postcard, Song Zhen-ge.”

Song Zhen smiled back but said nothing. Those without a tomorrow shouldn’t make promises.

Bai Yichen looked out at the horizon. “I hope the final chapter of my life is rich enough to make up for its brevity.” He looked at Song Zhen, remembering the tear that fell into the noodles. That wasn’t the reaction of someone who had completely given up on life.

“I’m actually an orphan,” Song Zhen said suddenly, beginning the story of his life. “I was adopted at five by a couple who couldn’t have children.”

Bai Yichen turned to listen. “And then?”

Song Zhen recounted his dull, painful existence with a strange detachment. He summarised his expulsion as simply “being falsely accused of theft and starting work early.” He spoke as if he were telling someone else’s story.

But Bai Yichen could sense the tidal wave of agony beneath the calm. This man had known almost no joy. He had simply, numbly, accepted whatever blows fate dealt him.

“Do you think. I should still stay alive?” Song Zhen asked eventually. “I can’t find a reason anymore.”

Bai Yichen thought for a moment. “Ge, do you want to go to university?”

Song Zhen’s composure broke for a second. When he spoke of dropping out earlier, his pace had quickened, trying to skip over the pain. He clearly cared deeply about his lost education.

Song Zhen looked up in shock. “Don’t be silly. I’m twenty-five, and I don’t even have a high school diploma.”

“I’m not joking,” Bai Yichen said. “You can take the self-study exams. You only need a junior high certificate for that. Once you’re in, you’re no different from any other student. I saw a man in his forties at A University who got in that way! You get the same degree. If you need materials, I have all my old study guides; I can have my parents post them to you!”

Song Zhen stared at the boy’s excitement. “I’ve never heard of that.”

“Ge, you should get out more,” Bai Yichen said. “Once you finish university and see more of the world, your internal world will expand. These things won’t be able to trap you anymore. It doesn’t matter how fate treats us; what matters is how we view our own lives.”

He pulled a notebook from his bag. “This is my travel plan. I have a backup on my phone. This is for you.”

Song Zhen flipped through it. The locations were all over the world. “These places are so far away.”

“Ge, you have a long life ahead of you. You’ll get there eventually. I’ll send you a postcard from every stop. When you finally go to these places, send one back to me. I might not be around by then, but my parents will bring them to my grave.”

Bai Yichen looked at him earnestly. “Ge, don’t go looking for the meaning of life. You must love life itself, not the meaning of it.”

“Life doesn’t need a meaning. Being alive is the meaning.”

Song Zhen looked into the boy’s pure, clear eyes.

“My parents don’t like me drinking fizzy drinks,” Bai Yichen pouted. “Ge, I want to ask a favour. When you visit my grave in the future, could you bring me a few cans of Coke? I don’t really have anyone else to ask. Just once a year is fine.”

He began listing a dozen small, trivial tasks for Song Zhen to do things that would require a long time to complete. Song Zhen wasn’t a fool; he knew exactly what the boy was doing. He gave a helpless, gentle smile. “Alright then.”

“Hooray!” Bai Yichen cheered.

As night fell, faint spots of blue bioluminescence began to flicker on the water. “The bioluminescent sea!!! Ge! Look!!! It’s really happening!”

They walked to the water’s edge. The blue glow became vivid as the waves crashed, as if the stars had fallen into the ocean, turning the sea into a flowing galaxy. It was a scene from a fairy tale.

Song Zhen was speechless. A profound emotion surged within him, and he thought once more, It is wonderful not to have died yesterday.

“Song Zhen.”

A voice called out from behind him. Song Zhen froze, then slowly turned around.

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