Why Does First Love Feel This Sweet? - Chapter 1

Chapter: 1 The Awakening

“Sheng Yi.”

“Can you hear me?”

A clear, pleasant male voice brushed away the fog before his eyes, opening a path back to the real world.

The pale morning light blurred into a handsome face—it felt like just another layer of a dream. Sheng Yi stared at that familiar yet strange face. He tried to open his mouth, but his throat was so dry it ached, unable to produce a single sound.

The young man before him wore a grey windbreaker. He leaned over, bracing himself against the edge of the hospital bed, gazing tenderly into Sheng Yi’s eyes. “Don’t rush. You’ve been asleep for a long time. Take a moment before you try to speak.”

The boy on the bed was translucent with paleness. His soft eyelashes fluttered weakly, and his unfocused pupils hadn’t fully centered yet. He was like a newborn chick, his gaze obediently attaching itself to the first man he saw.

Rong Yu met that familiar gaze. After a long moment of silence, he was the first to look away.

Strangely, Sheng Yi could sense the surging emotions beneath the surface, even though the young man’s face showed nothing but a restrained calm. This stillness gave Sheng Yi an odd sense of familiarity—as if this person should be this way; as if high peaks of joy or depths of sorrow didn’t belong on that face.

The attending physician stood by the bed, hands tucked into his white coat. He nodded to Rong Yu, gesturing for him to step outside.

Rong Yu slowly straightened up. By the time he turned his face again, the sliver of emotion that had leaked out was tucked away. His long, elegant fingers reached into Sheng Yi’s field of vision, brushing against his cheek with a slight chill that miraculously smoothed over the boy’s confusion and anxiety.

“Be good. Don’t move around. I’ll be right back.”

Sheng Yi’s gaze followed the figure that provided his only sense of security. As the belt of the windbreaker fluttered gracefully, a similar image suddenly flashed in his mind.

Golden sycamore leaves falling in waves, crushed by the wind into a bitter yet healing fragrance.

A tall boy in a windbreaker walking slowly over fan-shaped leaves in front of him, the belt of his coat swaying in the breeze. Sheng Yi gave a light kick to his skateboard, reaching out to grab that tail-like belt, letting the boy tow him forward.

Feeling the tug, the boy turned around, revealing a teenage face. Sheng Yi saw a pair of captivating eyes—deep and quiet. The boy’s gaze was cleaner than autumn sunlight, the corners of his eyes narrow and slightly upturned like a crystal-clear lake. A single flutter of those thick lashes would stir a ticklish breeze, causing the lake in Sheng Yi’s own heart to ripple…

…

In the hospital corridor smelling of disinfectant, Rong Yu looked down, his fingers idly twisting the belt of his coat in his pocket as he pulled himself back from the memory.

“His body is fine now. Once his consciousness is clear, he can be discharged at any time.” Wang Sizhe, the doctor, felt that Sheng Yi’s awakening was a gift from fate. He sighed, “The brain trauma three years ago was too severe. It’s normal if there are some lingering effects, like memory loss.”

Rong Yu nodded slightly and straightened up away from the wall. “Professor, you’ve worked hard these past years. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Think of how many internships you missed for this child,” Wang Sizhe sighed. “It is his blessing to have a friend like you who never gave up. Your sincerity moved the heavens.”

Wang Sizhe was Rong Yu’s graduate supervisor. He had always seen Rong Yu as his star pupil and felt a pained regret for the golden opportunities the young man had repeatedly abandoned over the years. Seeing the youth before him finally offer a rare smile, even the professor—whose heart had grown weary of the hospital’s tragedies—was touched.

“Now you can finally join my research group. A spot just opened up; don’t miss it again.” Wang Sizhe patted Rong Yu’s shoulder with relief. “Alright, go back in. Let me know if anything happens.”

“I will.” Rong Yu lowered his long lashes and thanked him solemnly once more. “Thank you, Professor.”

As the professor left, followed by a nurse who kept glancing back at Rong Yu, the tension held for three years suddenly snapped. Fatigue rolled in like a tide. Rong Yu covered his face with his hand to steady his emotions, stood at the door for a moment, and then pushed it open.

The thin, pale boy sat on the bed. His naturally bright and pleasant face was quiet from the long sleep. He stared blankly at the sunlight outside the window, as pure as a sheet of white paper with all its marks erased.

Rong Yu stood at the door, dazed for a moment, before approaching with light steps.

Sheng Yi looked up at him. After a long, silent exchange of gazes, Rong Yu reached out and habitually ruffled his hair. “Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?”

Sheng Yi frowned slowly. “Who am I?”

Stunned for a second, Rong Yu asked tentatively, “Do you remember who I am?”

“…I don’t.”

The hard-won lightness on Rong Yu’s face vanished. Realizing the truth, he stared intently into Sheng Yi’s eyes. “Try to think again?”

“…” Sheng Yi lowered his head to think. The feeling of being trapped behind an invisible barrier was suffocating. An unbearable pain began to throb at the back of his head. He pulled his knees up and curled his body, clutching his head and closing his eyes in agony. “I can’t remember. My head hurts so much.”

The large hand resting on Sheng Yi’s head slowly slid down.

Rong Yu remained calm, immediately found Wang Sizhe, and had Sheng Yi re-examined. A reality that was hard to accept shattered Rong Yu’s world.

Sheng Yi had amnesia.

…

Due to the series of complex tests, Sheng Yi stayed in the hospital for two more days. On the third day, he was taken home by the incredibly handsome man.

He knew this man was called Rong Yu and that he was very good to him. Beyond that, Rong Yu said nothing else. Sensing that Rong Yu seemed to be in a low mood, Sheng Yi didn’t ask questions, following him obediently like a little chick.

Before leaving the hospital, a nurse told Sheng Yi that he had been in a coma for three years following an accident, and Rong Yu had been the one taking care of him the entire time.

Even though he didn’t know who this person was to him, based on that fact alone, Sheng Yi was willing to trust Rong Yu without reservation.

Rong Yu’s house was huge—a detached villa—and the car they arrived in was clearly expensive.

“You’ll stay in this room. I’m right next door.”

Rong Yu led Sheng Yi into a spacious, tidy bedroom. It was decorated in white tones. The furniture and daily necessities were all new. While there were few signs of “living” in the room, it was filled with Rong Yu’s crisp, pleasant scent. Sheng Yi vaguely guessed that this was originally Rong Yu’s own bedroom.

Sheng Yi watched Rong Yu’s expression carefully from behind. The man still looked somewhat somber. Rong Yu was too handsome; when he had no expression, he was like a beautiful block of ice, surrounded by a cold aura that discouraged any intrusion.

“Okay.” Sheng Yi sat obediently on the bed. After a thought, since he couldn’t be sure of their relationship, he thanked him politely. “Thank you for taking me in.”

Rong Yu looked down at him with a complex gaze, then quickly looked away. “You don’t need to say those things. This is your home.”

Sheng Yi caught an important piece of information. This is also my home? Maybe Rong Yu is my brother?

“Rest first. There’s a bathroom in the room. Take a bath in a while. If you don’t have the strength to do it yourself, call me.” Rong Yu hadn’t left his side at the hospital for days. The chill of disinfectant still clung to his windbreaker as he arranged things with his usual gentleness. “I haven’t had time to buy you clothes yet. Wear mine for now. Tomorrow…”

Touched, Sheng Yi tilted his chin up to look at him and tentatively called out, “Brother.”

“…”

Sheng Yi watched Rong Yu’s expression closely. He saw the man freeze, then look down in surprise. “What did you call me?”

Sheng Yi interpreted this uncertainty as a sign of pleasant surprise. He felt a bit embarrassed, but to make Rong Yu feel better, he repeated it obediently: “Brother.”

“…Say it again?”

This was the first time Sheng Yi had seen a hint of a smile on Rong Yu’s face these past few days. Thinking he had guessed correctly, Sheng Yi felt encouraged and even added a sweet nickname.

“Xiao Yu Ge-ge.”

The low-pressure aura surrounding Rong Yu instantly softened. He placed his cool, large hand on Sheng Yi’s head. Sheng Yi couldn’t look away, thinking to himself: My brother is way too handsome when he smiles.

“I am not your brother.” Rong Yu’s smile faded slightly, a hidden loneliness in his eyes.

The smile felt less like true happiness and more like a response to Sheng Yi’s careful attempt to please him. Sheng Yi felt a pang of disappointment at this realization, but the shallow curve of Rong Yu’s lips still held a doting tenderness.

It left him even more confused. Since Rong Yu was the first person he saw upon waking, he felt this was his only bond in a strange world. If they were family, Sheng Yi would feel more secure and wouldn’t feel so constrained by Rong Yu’s meticulous care, fearing he could never repay the debt.

He felt an urgent need to be closer to Rong Yu. Just as he was about to apologize for the blunder, he heard Rong Yu whisper: “But I will be better to you than any brother could.”

Rong Yu’s promise was understated, yet it gave Sheng Yi a powerful sense of comfort. Even though he didn’t get the family tie he hoped for, his anxiety receded.

…

Rong Yu thoughtfully gave Sheng Yi some space. After lying on the bed in a daze for a while, Sheng Yi remembered Rong Yu’s instructions and took a change of clothes into the bathroom.

His body was indeed very weak. Having been horizontal for three years, even the spray of the shower felt like a heavy weight. He felt he should call Rong Yu for help—Rong Yu had wiped his body down in the hospital, so the man had seen everything there was to see—but away from the clinical setting of a hospital, Sheng Yi felt embarrassed.

In the end, he gave up on asking for help. Panting, he sat on a small stool under the water, planning to let the shower do the work.

Just as he was drifting into a state of exhausted sleepiness, there was a knock on the door.

“Do you need help?”

Sheng Yi had been struggling under the water for over an hour and was too tired to stand. He felt like a sensitive plant wilted by a rainstorm, nearly drowning. Even getting out of the bathroom seemed like a monumental task. Casting pride aside, he gave a weak reply.

The lock clicked open. Sheng Yi instinctively used a towel to cover his vital areas. His entire face was flushed pink from the swirling steam.

Rong Yu looked like he had just showered as well, changed into a comfortable white T-shirt. His dark hair was damp, falling loosely between his brows. Even though they were both male, Rong Yu’s sheer perfection triggered a strong sense of shame in Sheng Yi.

Sheng Yi looked at the man at the door. Remembering the past few days, he felt like a pig waiting for slaughter—how shameless he had been to let Rong Yu use those beautiful hands to wipe his body. It was a waste of a person.

“For… forget it.” Sheng Yi lowered his head in the water, embarrassed. “I’ll do it myself…”

“I won’t look at you.” Rong Yu saw his discomfort and calmly looked in another direction. “You’ve been in here too long. You’ll catch a cold.”

Sheng Yi ended up being pampered into total relaxation.

Rong Yu’s hands were usually cool, but perhaps because he had just bathed, they were slightly warm now. Sheng Yi unconsciously began to enjoy the sensation. He closed his eyes, letting Rong Yu handle him like a child.

Feeling that their relationship had grown much closer, the questions he had been bottling up started to spill out.

“My name is Sheng Yi? Which ‘Yi’?”

“The one from sheng cai yi yi (glowing with health and vigor).” Rong Yu pressed a towel over his eyes from behind to keep the water out.

“Oh.” Rong Yu’s movements were so composed that Sheng Yi relaxed. He raised his own hand to hold the towel. “Which ‘Yu’ is yours?”

“The one for ‘abundance’.”

“How do you write that one again?”

“…” Rong Yu pulled his hand back from the foam in the boy’s hair. “Give me your hand.”

Sheng Yi reached his hand back blindly. His sense of touch was incredibly sharp with his eyes closed. Rong Yu’s fingertips carried warmth, tracing the strokes one by one in his palm, as if carving the word into his skin.

His hand being washed hadn’t felt like much, but now Sheng Yi’s cheeks began to burn. He naturally withdrew his hand and clenched it against his thigh.

He continued, “What about my family?”

Rong Yu answered almost without thinking, “It’s me.”

Sheng Yi went quiet. “And my friends?”

“It’s me.”

Sheng Yi was silent for a while longer, then suddenly gave a soft laugh. “And my lover?”

“You don’t have one.”

“…Oh.”

Sheng Yi fell completely silent and asked no more.

Rong Yu dried him off and helped him into his own pajamas. There was quite a size difference between them; Sheng Yi’s build was almost the same as it had been in high school—not short, but retaining a slender, youthful aesthetic. The pajamas hung loosely on him, sleeves and legs too long.

Rong Yu helped him roll up the sleeves, then looked up at Sheng Yi’s bright eyes, which were currently clouded with an unmaskable melancholy.

Sheng Yi had always been smart, good at reading people. Rong Yu’s previous words were enough for him to guess his own situation.

Staring into Sheng Yi’s dim, downcast eyes, Rong Yu sighed helplessly and reached out to cup his face. He added to his previous answer: “If you want one, I can be that, too.”

Sheng Yi was like a drenched puppy, tilting his chin up to rest it on Rong Yu’s broad, reliable shoulder. This embrace gave him an immense sense of security, but the sudden contact with his sensitive, aching heart made his eyes sting.

Sheng Yi thought Rong Yu was joking to comfort him. He tugged at the corner of his mouth, about to make a quip like “Is there anything you aren’t?” to lighten the mood.

Rong Yu pulled him into a gentle embrace and whispered in his ear: “Sheng Yi, from now on… will you let me be your everything?”