Transmigrated as the CEO's Top-Tier Stand-in - Chapter 62

Chapter 62

Ji Yu felt her tears suddenly become unstoppable.

Perhaps in her life, the role of “mother” had been absent for too long, and Chu Nanxing’s mother possessed such great affinity, perfectly embodying everything Ji Yu imagined a mother to be—she appeared when a child was crying, helpless, or hurt, using a gentle embrace and voice to soothe all the scars the outside world had inflicted.

Ji Yu never thought she would confide these incredible events to the gentle lady standing before her. She couldn’t understand her current state of mind. Perhaps it was just a simple inability to bear these heavy things; if she didn’t immediately pour out the overloaded negative energy, she might perish in the subsequent day-to-day gloom.

“I… no one bullied me… but I did something bad…”

She felt the stable, calming, and gentle power emanating from Yu Su. Tears kept streaming down her face, and when she spoke, Ji Yu’s voice carried a heavy sense of repentance.

Yu Su’s voice remained gentle, without any hint of blame: “What did you do?”

Ji Yu was at a loss for how to describe it. Only tears flowed like broken beads. Her fingers moved; she seemed to want to hug the other person back, but ultimately, she was too timid to move forward—

This kind lady is not my mother.

With a strange guilt, as if she had stolen someone else’s family affection, Ji Yu lightly licked her lower lip and said: “I, I once had someone I liked very much, but at the time, we hadn’t really met.”

She continued: “I thought I liked her enough… but after we lost contact for a period, I later accidentally met her in real life. Her personality had changed somewhat. Perhaps she simply didn’t recognize me, so she wasn’t as familiar with me as before… Regardless, I stayed with her in person for a long time, but I astonishingly never recognized that she was the person I liked before.”

Thinking this, Ji Yu felt as if her heart was wrapped in thorny vines. Each breath carried a rolling pain into her bloodstream, causing her limbs to tremble slightly and involuntarily.

More tears flowed silently. Although she had felt there was nothing for her to be sad about during the previous four years, looking back now, Ji Yu saw many things hidden in the details of their life.

“When we lived together, I found her arrogant and conceited, and she didn’t even know the right way to be kind to someone. She just constantly gave me things she liked… I watched countless times with cold eyes, feeling fortunate that I wouldn’t fall for this person.”

“But, actually, the truly arrogant person was me…”

Ji Yu lowered her gaze slightly, seeing her tears fall onto Yu Su’s shoulder. She couldn’t help but raise a hand to wipe around her eyes, only then realizing she was completely tear-stained. She wanted to pull back, to stop disrespectfully offending the other person, but Yu Su thought she felt insecure and didn’t dare to confide further. Yu Su just tightened her embrace, holding her closer, even patting her back soothingly, and whispered:

“It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Ji Yu was strangely soothed by her voice again. She choked up. Now, she was almost self-flagellating, throwing those harsh adjectives at herself, as if that would make her feel better, like a devotee enduring a blizzard, walking barefoot towards a holy land through painful asceticism.

“It’s my fault… When I didn’t recognize her, I was very unkind to her. I didn’t refuse the things she gave me that I actually didn’t like, so she mistakenly believed I did. And I just watched her go further and further down the wrong path, as if this way, when I left later, I wouldn’t have to bear the consequence of deceiving someone’s true feelings.”

“I also didn’t let her see my real preferences, nor did I let her know my true thoughts. Every time I was with her, I hid inside a turtle shell, only showing her a fake side of myself.”

“But… I had so many chances. If we had met then, and I had been sincere with her, gotten along well, or even shown her the things I once learned with her, maybe she would have recognized me.”

Since she was sixteen, Ji Yu had never regretted anything.

But now.

She wished she could turn back the hands of time to when she first came to this world, that winter day when she met Meng Rendong, who had just left a fashion event, while she was hugging herself, freezing and shaking.

If she had smiled then, and said to the other person, “I fell in love with you at first sight. Would you like to try dating me?”

Would everything have been different?

A relationship that could have led to something beautiful began in the wrong way because of her initial idea of finding a substitute for “Si Tian.” As a result, the fruit it bore was sour and bitter, causing pain to both of them.

The more Ji Yu thought about it, the more distraught she became. She almost couldn’t stand steadily. Finally, completely abandoning her idol facade, she buried her face in Yu Su’s shoulder and cried so sadly, like a child who had done something wrong, confessing to a parent in confusion, yet not knowing how to make amends.

Ji Yu cried until she was practically sobbing, and after finally catching her breath, she continued:

“I was so awful… but she still liked me.”

“She clearly didn’t recognize me, but she had already started to like me. And because of fear and resistance, I rejected her further advances. I fled from her side. I didn’t want the longing I had for my loved one to become cheap and fickle, so I quickly left. And now, I only just found out that the person I was looking for all this time was her.”

“When she didn’t recognize me, aside from not knowing how to love, she never did anything to hurt me.”

“But what about me?”

“I seemed very good to her, but in reality, I didn’t care who she was or what she was thinking. I could have treated anyone with the same face the same way… I used a false gentle demeanor, yet I deceived her genuine heart.”

“I’m always hurting her… Why did I do so many bad things?”

Ji Yu couldn’t continue. She was about to be drowned by the mountain of guilt, especially thinking of the many times Meng Rendong tried to salvage their relationship, and her actions of hurting the other person again and again.

That time at Haidilao.

If she had abandoned Meng Rendong and chosen to chase after Si Tian, what would have happened?

Ji Yu felt a chill just thinking about it. In so many choices, she countless times abandoned Meng Rendong without a second thought. But Meng Rendong… even before remembering the events, in one hundred chances, ninety-nine of her choices had already leaned towards Ji Yu’s direction first.

After the breakup, Ji Yu gave her no face, which was a huge emotional blow to the proud Meng Rendong, making her realize she was just a substitute for Ji Yu’s emotional attachment—

Despite this.

Later, at the swimming pool, she still showed up the first moment Ji Yu was in danger.

Meng Rendong was so earnest and so hard-working in trying to correct her past mistakes. Only Ji Yu remained immersed in her own world, running away from everything.

Yu Su didn’t quite grasp the story.

After all, she was elderly, and some details were too convoluted for her to follow. She simply understood it as Ji Yu having met someone online, later meeting them in real life, only for the relationship to not go well.

She sighed softly, unsure how to comfort Ji Yu, because in her eyes, Ji Yu was still a child, much like Jianyu, yet she already had such complex emotional experiences.

Looking at the matter from the perspective of an older person, Yu Su generally understood that this was a slightly complicated emotional journey between two young people. And in any relationship, the most important thing was—”Do you still like her?”

“If you like her, go and sincerely admit your mistake. If she still likes you, wouldn’t that be just perfect?”

“Good things take time. Sometimes life just likes to play tricks on us.”

Ji Yu heard her calmly cut through the fog and point to the core issue, but she shook her head confusedly:

“I… I don’t know anymore.”

“I feel like my affection is so cheap now. I’m not as deeply devoted as I appear. Otherwise, no matter what she looked like, I should have recognized her.”

Yu Su heard this extreme self-criticism and suddenly chuckled softly. While soothing Ji Yu, she whispered:

“Silly child.”

“Where in this world is there so much innate compatibility, love at first sight, and smooth sailing relationships? And where are there so many perfectly matched souls that, upon meeting, can stay together forever?”

“Most people just have ordinary relationships, their passion and confidence worn away by the trivialities of life, like firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, and tea. Then, during repeated, sudden difficulties, they either hold hands and grit their teeth to get through it, or sometimes they encounter the same old problems, become disheartened, and give up. Or sometimes, one person suddenly lets go, and the other person doesn’t manage to hold on, and that destiny… it just fades away.”

This was why humans constantly sang the praises of beautiful love.

It wasn’t because those emotions were intensely passionate and full, but because the trivialities of life and the long passage of time were enough to silently sculpt people into completely different shapes. In this process, how to resolutely reject the habit of seeking novelty, how to maintain one’s original intention—to remember the commitment to continue forward with the other person—through poverty, wealth, adversity, and ease, and still persist to the end, this is what is truly worthy of praise.

Human nature is greedy, selfish, risk-averse, and lazy…

But an enduring love requires going against these instincts repeatedly. Initially, novelty and impulse are enough to trigger dopamine and happiness, making people crave it. But this novelty cannot be endlessly regenerated in one thing. The level of excitement that comes from a simple kiss or hug gradually becomes commonplace, even with physical intimacy and constant closeness. And habit is the most terrible thing; it can make people mistake a precious treasure for a mere grain of sand.

Yu Su hoped Ji Yu’s life would be smooth, without too many hardships, but she also feared that even if they got back together, they would encounter many difficulties in life.

This was the genuine mindset of a mother: putting a child in a greenhouse, constantly fearing that if the greenhouse ever broke, or if she wasn’t perfectly watched over, even a slight wind or rain outside would cause her to wither; but sending her completely out into the wild was also unsettling, fearing a wolf or leopard might snatch her away. It was always a struggle.

So, she could only follow her child’s footsteps, teaching her how to protect herself while hoping that the challenges she faced were ones she could handle, wishing she could hold up the entire sky and shield her from all terrible harm, only leaving behind gentle lessons sufficient for her growth.

After saying those words, she didn’t ask any further, as if she would completely respect Ji Yu’s choice, whether she decided to give up or continue. Now, she simply used a handkerchief to gently wipe Ji Yu’s tears, then smiled and asked:

“Would you like to come inside and have some tea with me?”

“How about I let you try the pre-Qingming Longjing tea I just had someone buy?”

Ji Yu looked at her smiling face and felt like crying again. She wondered why she didn’t have such a wonderful mother, but she quickly realized her state of mind was too fragile. She mocked herself inwardly. On the surface, she wiped her tears, folded Yu Su’s handkerchief, planning to wash it clean and return it to the lady later.

“Okay.”

She smiled through her tears, feeling lighter all over.

Outside the Alley.

Meng Rendong had planned to find a nearby place to rest, in case Si Tian needed her help, but she received a call from Kong Rufan while she was half-asleep and not resting well.

“Where did you hide our beautiful idol?”

“The program is about to start recording in half an hour. Tell her to hurry back. There have been some changes to the schedule here.”

Meng Rendong was still disoriented from the fleeting dreams. She just nasal-y “Huh?” without fully realizing what was happening.

After Kong Rufan patiently repeated herself and asked her to hand over the person, Meng Rendong finally sat up in bed and distractedly looked at her phone messages, telling Kong Rufan to wait—

When she checked.

She saw dozens of messages from Si Tian.

“Ah… I think I messed up.”

“Help, is Ji Yu going to be overstimulated by the truth? Did I say it wrong?”

“CEO Meng! QAQ What do I do? Ji Yu seems to have disappeared…”

Meng Rendong scrolled down, and when she reached the last sentence, although the fatigue hadn’t completely dissipated, she immediately sat up, instinctively walking toward the door. Only when Kong Rufan asked again did she realize her call was still connected. She pinched the bridge of her nose, closed her eyes, and pulled herself together to say:

“I understand.”

“I’ll bring her back to you right now.”

It wasn’t until she hung up that Meng Rendong realized the situation was tricky.

Ji Yu didn’t have her phone. She must have been affected by Si Tian’s words, and now she hadn’t returned to the film set. Where would she go?

Meng Rendong anxiously milled around for a moment like a headless chicken, then thought of something. She walked out while making a phone call.

Ten minutes later.

Ji Yu’s emotions had recovered. Holding a cup, she sat with Yu Su in the old house in the ancient city, chatting. Because of her earlier lapse in composure, she tried to salvage her image in Yu Su’s eyes, so she answered almost every question and was very well-behaved.

Until a knock came from the door.

Yu Su got up first, and then…

She brought Meng Rendong in with her.

When their black eyes met, Ji Yu reflexively looked away. Meng Rendong, constantly watching her reaction, saw that Ji Yu was avoiding her even more than before. She smiled bitterly inwardly, then spoke to Yu Su politely and respectfully:

“Auntie Su, I recently had a friend bring back some tonics from abroad. I’ll send them over another day. The program is rushing things now, so I’ll take this young friend back.”

She must have said something to Yu Su beforehand, as Yu Su’s smile was even gentler now. Hearing Meng Rendong’s words, she nodded, then said to Ji Yu:

“I was going to keep you for lunch, but since you have work, maybe next time. You are welcome to come find me again.”

Ji Yu put down her teacup, stood up a little embarrassed, thanked Yu Su, and apologized once more for her earlier loss of composure. Then, her face flushed belatedly, so she quickly walked outside, pausing hesitantly right before leaving the door. She bowed sincerely to Yu Su, saying she would remember to bring a gift next time she visited and hoped she wouldn’t mind.

Then she darted away.

Meng Rendong wasn’t sure how Ji Yu ended up here, but seeing her eyes red, she guessed that Ji Yu’s emotions were running high after learning the truth. Although she really wanted to chase after her to get a clear understanding of Ji Yu’s attitude, Yu Su called out to her again.

“Little Meng.”

Meng Rendong stopped and looked at her seriously.

Yu Su hesitated: “…She really resembles Jianyu, doesn’t she?”

Meng Rendong was hesitant to answer that question.

Yu Su, with a hint of insistence, asked from a different angle: “Do you think… Jianyu will come back?”

Meng Rendong clenched her jaw. After a long silence, just as she was about to answer seriously, Yu Su suddenly chuckled to herself and waved her hand, no longer detaining her.

“I must be overthinking things. Huaide always tells me that. Did I make things difficult for you just now?”

“Auntie Su won’t say it again next time.”

Meng Rendong, however, shook her head, looked deeply at Yu Su again, and chose her words carefully: “Auntie Su, whether she comes back or not, no matter where she is, she is so good, someone will always protect her.”

Yu Su seemed to believe her, or maybe she just accepted the comfort. In any case, she smiled and responded to Meng Rendong, “Mm.”

Meng Rendong suddenly added: “Me too.”

Yu Su didn’t quite catch that, asking in confusion: “Hmm?”

Meng Rendong looked at her, her eyes seemingly revealing many messages, which quickly vanished. Her gaze met Yu Su’s only briefly. Then, like any polite junior, she lowered her eyes and said:

“No matter when, if I run into her, I will protect her too.”

Yu Su smiled. She looked at Meng Rendong, then glanced toward the doorway, but didn’t reply this time.

After Meng Rendong stepped out, she found Ji Yu standing near the white wall outside the courtyard, looking up at the eaves, as if she were genuinely interested in the stone-carved mythical beasts up there.

But Meng Rendong’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t help but wonder presumptuously, Is she waiting for me?

What will she say to me?

Thinking this, her steps towards Ji Yu slowed a little. When Ji Yu heard the footsteps and looked her way, the moment their eyes met, both stopped simultaneously, like old friends finally reunited after a lifetime.

After an unknown duration of eye contact, Meng Rendong couldn’t hold back anymore. She was like a convicted criminal waiting for the final court judgment, too nervous and anxious to endure Ji Yu’s gaze.

Perhaps she was truly too exhausted; she had dealt with too many things from yesterday until now.

So, the person who should have approached Ji Yu rationally, cautiously, and without resorting to methods that would invite dislike, now followed her inner impulse. She walked quickly towards Ji Yu and, before Ji Yu could react, pulled her into a hug.

Smelling the familiar scent of the other person, Meng Rendong closed her eyes, releasing her surge of impulses, regret, and fear all at once.

“You scared me to death.”

Ji Yu, held in the embrace, was stunned by the words. Her hands hovered in mid-air, unsure whether to hug or push her away.

Immediately after, she felt Meng Rendong trembling. The person who was once so arrogant and indifferent was now shaking because of a hug, making Ji Yu feel that the person holding her was about to shatter, so fragile that the embraced Ji Yu dared not move.

She then heard the other person’s familiar voice enter her ears:

“Next time…”

“Even if you’re angry, even if you never want to speak to me again, just don’t let me be unable to find you, okay?”

Meng Rendong remembered being woken up by Kong Rufan’s phone call. That fear resurfaced, instantly bringing her back to seven years ago, to the image of Chu Jianyu disappearing from the world after drowning, an event she could neither reverse nor locate, leaving her consumed by daily, helpless dread.

In the cool, ancient alley with white walls and grey tiles, an autumn breeze passed through, seemingly ready to bring a frost-laden rain that would sink the whole world into this cold, blue pool.

In the small, deserted path by the Chu family’s alley gate, one person was embracing the other. The posture seemed intimate, but in reality, one was like a person drowning in a long river, fragilely grasping a constantly slipping lifeline. She tightened her grip repeatedly, trying to make the lifeline stay in her hand a little longer, too exhausted to let go, yet daring not to.

Ji Yu heard a hint of humble plea in Meng Rendong’s voice, as if even getting a response from her was a luxury. The former cold indifference was gone, replaced by an inexpressible carefulness:

“Ji Yu, please don’t vanish from my world, okay?”

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