To the One Who's Only Cold to Me - Chapter 46

The weather was slowly turning cooler. The blazing sun had softened a bit as it lit the world. In line with that, the wind, now cooler, passed gently through the tree branches.

A single leaf, having ended its life early, lightly tapped the spotless window and settled between the window frame. Aisha, sitting by the window and gazing outside, picked up the almond-shaped leaf stuck vertically.

“It’s already fallen What a pity.”

Unlike the other leaves still green and hanging from the tree, the one in her hand had faded in color, now tinged with yellow. When she spun the dry leaf between her fingers, it sparkled golden in the sunlight reflected through the window.

That brilliant color naturally made Aisha think of a few days ago. More precisely, she recalled Ian’s golden blonde hair shining while he lay next to her on the bed and then got up first.

“You’re awake?”

Running his fingers through his messy hair, his voice came out low and rough. That image had become a daily scene for her. But there was still something she could never get used to how Ian acted once he left the bed.

“I should get going.”

His relaxed hair and the loosely draped robe revealed his bare skin. However, once he stepped out of bed, the way he looked at Aisha changed completely. The heat that once felt like it would never fade was gone as if it had never been there. His voice, once warm and full of desire when calling her name, turned cold like ice.

“If I stay any longer, it’ll get awkward for both of us. I’ve prepared a carriage, so you can go.”

Each time, Aisha felt her heart drop at the sudden change in his tone. They were definitely closer now. They met far more often than before and yet, her heart felt oddly bitter.

“I guess I’m just sensitive from lack of sleep lately.”

Thinking about Ian, Aisha set the leaf down and pressed her fingers against her eyes. Maybe it was because the engagement ceremony was just around the corner her nerves felt especially on edge. No, they definitely were.

“Miss, what are you doing over there?”

Just as Aisha tried to shake off her gloomy thoughts, moving her fingers briskly, Marie called out to her from the middle of the room, busy as ever.

“Don’t make that face—come here quickly. You’ve got a mountain of shoes to try on.”

Marie stood with both hands on her waist, looking determined. Beside her, over ten shoeboxes were stacked as tall as Aisha herself.

“The dress will cover most of them anyway. You could’ve narrowed them down a bit more.”

Aisha stared wearily at the pile of boxes. But Marie showed no mercy. Rolling up her sleeves, she declared,

“Not this again! Don’t think about escaping. I won’t let you leave this room until you try on every pair.”

Though such words might be inappropriate for a servant, Aisha simply chuckled. Marie was deliberately being dramatic to cheer her up.

“Alright, I’ll listen to you. So, which pair should I try first?”

“This one here. I think it looks the best.”

As Aisha sat on the couch in the center of the room and lifted her dress, Marie quickly opened a box and took out a pair of shoes. They sparkled as if crushed jewels were spread all over them, giving off a soft blue glow.

“Marie, have you seen my father recently?”

As she slipped her foot into the shoe, Aisha asked about her father, whom she hadn’t seen in over ten days. According to her brother, he occasionally came home at dawn, so Marie might have seen Count Parden.

“No, not during my shifts. He hasn’t come home.”

“I see. It’s really hard to see him lately. I wonder if he’s eating properly.”

But Marie didn’t give the answer Aisha had hoped for. As Aisha looked worried, Marie cheerfully placed the shoe on Aisha’s other foot.

“I’m not sure, but isn’t that just how business is? You know better than I do. Don’t worry—he’ll come back once he finishes his work.”

Aisha nodded at Marie’s words. She was right. The Parden family ran a business fitting their wealth, and Count Parden, as the head, was always busy. It was rare for him to be this absent from home, but not unheard of, so the staff didn’t think much of it.

But Aisha still felt uneasy. While the servants couldn’t tell the difference, she had noticed something dark in her father’s expression the last time they met.

“I’m just being oversensitive again. I haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

Just as she tried to push the worry away, Marie gasped in awe from below. Aisha looked down at last.

“How beautiful. They’ll go perfectly with the engagement dress.”

“You’re right. They are pretty. Should I choose these?”

“Huh? But, Miss, there are still so many more to try on…”

The shoes fit Aisha’s feet perfectly and sparkled even more as if they had found their rightful owner. But Aisha wasn’t interested. As she took them off, she said to the disappointed Marie,

“I’ll try the rest later. I feel strangely tired today.”

“Then take a break. I’ll bring some tea.”

“Okay.”

Marie didn’t insist. She neatly packed the shoes back into their box and left the room. Soon, she returned with a white teapot and matching teacups, along with some snacks.

The scent of the tea, soft and slightly bitter-sweet, spread through the room. Aisha felt her tense nerves relax a little as she accepted the cup from Marie.

“Come to think of it, aren’t you going to see the marquis today? You’ve been going almost daily lately, discussing the engagement plans.”

As the steam rose from the tea and Aisha relaxed, Marie brought up Ian, whom she had momentarily forgotten. Aisha hesitated briefly, then replied with a somewhat forced smile.

“He’s busy all day today. He won’t be at the marquis’ house until late tonight. But he said he’d send the carriage early tomorrow.”

Marie laughed while tidying the boxes, not noticing Aisha’s expression. Her bright laughter made Aisha look toward her. Marie, returning from organizing the boxes, noticed the confusion in Aisha’s eyes and explained.

“It’s just… you two look good together.”

At Marie’s honest words, Aisha gripped her teacup tightly. Then, after a moment of hesitation, she looked down and asked,

“Do we really look that way?”

“Of course. He even tells you his schedule. Most men don’t do that, you know? They usually say it’s none of your business, or act like women wouldn’t understand. Sigh… Even my own fiancé is like that—stiff and cold, no consideration at all. He never tells me anything first.”

Despite her complaints, Marie’s face was bright. Aisha stared quietly at her, then thought of Ian, who had said they wouldn’t see each other today.

“I’ll be in the same place as Helen Fitz tomorrow. I’m not going as her partner it’s just the same event, so don’t worry.”

Ever since they had started sharing a bed, Ian always told Aisha first about anything related to Helen. His honest and calm attitude left no room for doubt.

“Uh… Ian?”

“Yeah?”

“Never mind.”

Even if she didn’t doubt him, that didn’t mean she was okay with it. From Aisha’s point of view, the fact that Ian kept being involved with Helen was upsetting. But she didn’t have the courage to say how she really felt.

“I don’t want to see your face. Don’t follow me. If you do, I’ll never see you again!”

That one moment, when she had shouted at Ian for the first time in her life, had led to a change in their relationship. Having done it once, it seemed like she could do it again but Aisha wasn’t confident enough to break the current peace. Even now, she constantly feared their connection might be severed.

What if another conflict led Ian to cut her off for good? That was Aisha’s greatest fear. More than anything, the anxiety that had grown since becoming physically close to him made her feel even smaller.

“What he wants from me might just be…”

Aisha looked down at her own body. Though her dress covered her up to her neck, there were still red marks all over her skin. Especially the area around her collarbone, which Ian often kissed until it turned purple, still throbbed even as she sat still.

“just this.”

They had become physically close, but emotionally, she felt more distant. Though he was with her, she felt lonelier than ever. The feelings she had tried to ignore suddenly rushed in. And with them, a single tear fell from Aisha’s eye.

“Miss?”

Marie, startled, called out to her. Aisha only then noticed the tear falling from her face and quickly wiped it with her sleeve.

The lace at the edge of her sleeve scraped her delicate skin, leaving a red mark. Seeing this, Marie stopped her and gently held a handkerchief to Aisha’s face.

“Are you alright? What’s wrong, all of a sudden…?”

Her careful voice was filled with concern. But Aisha, not wanting to reveal her inner turmoil with the engagement approaching, barely managed to lift the corners of her lips.

“It’s nothing, Marie.”

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