To the One Who's Only Cold to Me - Chapter 45

Aisha froze as Ian’s clear blue eyes pierced into her. Flustered, she couldn’t say anything and just hesitated. Didn’t he already know that she liked him?

Then why?

“I think I feel the same.”

“Huh?”

Aisha widened her eyes, as if she didn’t understand what she just heard. It was even more shocking than his earlier question. She quickly realized what he meant and covered her mouth with her hands.

Do you have even a little bit of feeling for me?

It felt like she had just heard the answer to a question she had hidden deep in her heart. She stammered for a moment, unsure of what to do, and finally managed to speak.

“But before, you”

“If not, why would I show you this stupid side of me? Don’t you think?”

His cheerful laughter reminded her of the past. Had he been hit on the head by the prince and lost his mind? Aisha stared at Ian without blinking, thinking such thoughts.

“I’m sorry about partnering with that woman. I know it upset you. It won’t happen again.”

But Ian’s words, which didn’t seem real, kept going. Even apologizing first Aisha was at a loss for words. When she just stared at him blankly, Ian, who had been smiling, showed a hint of displeasure.

“What about you?”

“H-Huh?”

“Aisha, you should say you won’t be going around with the prince or any other man either.”

That slightly pushy tone felt familiar. Aisha thought for a moment, then gave a small nod.

“Okay.”

“What’s with that disappointed face? Don’t tell me you’re thinking about someone else?”

“No! It’s not like that!”

Aisha flinched at Ian’s sharp question and shook her head. It wasn’t that she felt disappointed but she had briefly thought of Jared.

I already sent a letter to the prince. That should be enough.

Guilt showed plainly on Aisha’s face. Ian noticed and tried hard to suppress his rising anger, reminding himself of his purpose.

“Anyway, Aisha. Don’t you remember something when you see that tree?”

He pointed out the window, trying to change the subject. Aisha had been frowning but changed her expression as soon as she looked at the tree Ian was pointing to. It had no fruit, but the green leaves were fresh. It was a lemon tree that would bear yellow fruit as winter approached.

Aisha, don’t cry. If our little lady cries, I can’t be a proper gentleman.

I… I’ll love Ian forever. I mean it. So don’t be sad. Don’t cry, Ian.

That was the beginning. When she first started to feel this way toward the boy in front of her. Aisha was quickly swept into the past. Her dazed expression gave it away, and Ian gently reached out to touch her face.

“You remember too, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I remember everything from back then.”

“Really? Then Aisha, can you”

Ian pulled her head close. Their foreheads touched, and their breathing mingled. As the air between them warmed with their breaths, Ian whispered.

“Hold me like you did back then.”

Aisha wasn’t so naive that she didn’t realize what this meant. Was he really asking for the same innocent hug from childhood? She didn’t think so. Still, she reached out and wrapped her arms around him. Ian guided her arms to wrap around his neck.

“Will you close your eyes?”

It was hard to refuse when she looked into Ian’s blue eyes. Drowning in nostalgia, Aisha slowly closed her eyes. Instead of darkness, she saw a young boy. Then, as expected, his lips touched hers… and more.

His hand brushing her clothes felt like a dream. As her back touched the bed, Aisha quietly told herself again and again:

It’s okay. He said he likes me.

Aisha was deeply asleep. She didn’t seem like she’d wake up any time soon. Ian stared at her breathing softly and let out a cold smile.

Not bad. No… this is really good.

He felt completely satisfied, as if his whole body was full. Like a lion with a full belly after catching its prey.

Just as I expected…

More than just physical satisfaction, he felt mentally clear. He had confirmed it he was only physically attracted to Aisha. If it were anything more, he wouldn’t be able to look at her with such cold eyes after being so intimate.

Well, it might be troublesome later… but I can just get rid of her when I’m done.

What had once been a complicated concern now felt so simple. He would just play with her when he wanted, and once his revenge was complete, he would discard her. That, in itself, was its own kind of revenge. Of course, if he only thought about Aisha, he might feel a little guilty. But thinking about his parents’ deaths erased that quickly.

Having made up his mind, Ian looked down at Aisha again with a satisfied face. Her neck and collarbone, marked with red like scattered flowers, stirred his desire once more. But since she was asleep, he simply lowered his gaze.

As he admired the lines of her body under the sheet, his eyes stopped at her stomach. A new problem came to mind one he hadn’t considered before.

A baby. What if she got pregnant? Of course, she took birth control this time, and he would make sure to take precautions from now on, but what if something went wrong? What if his child took root in that small body?

But even that didn’t trouble Ian for long. The thought of getting rid of it came briefly, but he soon dismissed it.

I don’t plan to make her my wife In that case, I’ll just keep her as a mistress. If she has my child, I can’t just throw her away what would people say? Besides, if she can’t even see the child freely and clings to me, that’s not so bad either.

Thinking of Aisha living alone, separated from her family, relying only on him it didn’t feel too unpleasant. She was a soft-hearted woman she wouldn’t be able to ignore the child even if she became a mistress.

Imagining Aisha trapped with him forever made him smile.

Whatever the reason…

He couldn’t hold back a quiet laugh. Picking up a strand of her long, pale hair, he brought it to his lips, kissed it, and whispered:

“It’s true I like you, Aisha.”

Whoosh—

The sword sliced through the air fiercely. Jared swung his blade without losing form, as if an enemy was right in front of him.

But even a strong knight had limits. After swinging the sword non-stop for nearly three hours, his arms started trembling. He felt that if he went any further, he’d drop the sword. So he stopped.

“Haah.”

Straightening his knees from the training stance, sweat poured down like rain onto the dirt floor. Jared wiped his forehead roughly and walked toward a chair.

“Here you go, Your Highness.”

A young attendant ran over with a towel and water. Jared grabbed the towel and drained the water in one go. Then he handed the empty cup back and said:

“You’re dismissed.”

His voice wasn’t loud, but the young servant flinched from the royal pressure. Jared had always been quiet, but recently, he had become so cold that even approaching him was frightening.

The servant hurried away. Jared watched the boy’s back briefly, then let it go. He wasn’t in the mood to care about how he treated those below him.

Damn it!

The day he fought like a child with Marquis Lloyd, Jared ended up without meaning to getting rejected before even confessing. Actually, he never planned to confess anyway, so maybe it was more accurate to say he was hurt all on his own.

He had realized it clearly when he saw Aisha return with her brother that day. The girl he had feelings for would never look his way.

Ian… Are you okay?

From start to finish, Aisha’s eyes and hands were only on Marquis Lloyd. Even though Jared was lying there too, breathing hard and bleeding from his wounds, her eyes never looked at him.

How dare you do this to a royal? Jared, should I order his right arm cut off?

Sorry. I shouldn’t have egged you on.

Forget it. There are plenty of women out there. You just have to reach out and they’ll come flying to you…

After hearing the story from Marquis Litman, William looked apologetic. But Jared couldn’t even respond. It wasn’t his bruised eye or bleeding lips that hurt it was the fact that Aisha never looked at him, not even once.

Your Highness, Lady Aisha Parden has sent a letter.

I’ll read it later.

So Jared turned down Aisha’s letter. He already knew what it would say. And reading it would only hurt more.

It’s over.

Now that he understood her heart, Jared decided to swallow the pain alone. He was used to it anyway he’d been doing that ever since he heard about her engagement.

But unlike before, even swinging his sword didn’t help him calm down. Was it because they had been partners, even just once? He felt unfairly robbed—like something precious had been stolen from him.

Don’t go, brother. If you do, I’ll reveal the secret.

And as if that wasn’t enough, something else started to torment him. That disgusting smile. Thinking of Helen’s words, Jared closed his eyes tightly.

Lies. He fell for that woman’s trick…

He shook his head and stood up, about to start training again. But before he could move, someone entered the training yard and called out to him.

“Brother. Can we talk?”

Thud. Jared turned his head stiffly at the voice he had been avoiding. The person who appeared was his sister Catherine the only one among his siblings who had inherited their mother Karna’s hair and eye color.

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