Though I Don’t Recall It, I’ll Take Responsibility - Chapter 1

I slowly pulled my heavy, sinking consciousness upward, as if dragging it from the bottom of a deep lake, and gently opened my eyes.

The white light streaming into my field of vision was so sharp that I instinctively squinted. It took a moment for me to realize that the dry sound of breathing I heard was my own.

“…! You’re awake!”

At the sound of a startled voice, a maid rushed to my side. Her auburn hair was neatly tucked away, and she peered down at me while gripping the edge of her apron tightly.

“Thank goodness… Oh, thank goodness…! I’ll go call the Master immediately!”

With a face on the verge of tears, the maid turned and flew out of the room, her skirts fluttering behind her.

A pink canopy softly enveloped me from above, its sheer lace trim swaying gently. The sheets felt smooth against my skin, and a faint, sweet scent—like the lingering trail of perfume wafted from my bedside.

I saw a white mahogany dresser, a curved mirror, and beside it, a mountain of embroidered cushions. Watercolor paintings of flowers were lined up with fastidious precision on the walls.

The crystals of the chandelier caught the morning sun, casting tiny rainbows across the floor.

Where am I?

The door swung open again with great force.

“Lara!”

“Mother!”

Out of breath and sporting dark circles under his eyes, the man who called my name looked utterly desperate. His expression was filled with relief, and tear tracks were already visible at the corners of his eyes.

“Finally, you’ve finally opened your eyes. You’ve been asleep for three days. Do you remember what happened when you fell down the stairs?”

Three days?

The stairs?

I could understand his words, but my brain refused to react to them.

“Mother, I was so worried you were never going to wake up!”

A small voice came from the side of the bed. I shifted my gaze to find a child clutching the edge of the sheets with trembling hands, his cheeks wet with tears.

He had the same hair color as me. The same eye color, too.

“Does anything hurt?”

“My head still aches a little,” I squeezed out.

“That’s not good. Is the doctor not here yet?”

When the maid answered that she had sent a messenger in a hurry, the man let out a sigh of relief.

A brief silence followed.

From somewhere far outside the manor, I thought I heard the distant neighing of a horse.

“Lara, are you truly alright?”

“Mother, you look tired. Do you want to sleep a bit more?”

The two of them, possessing nearly identical features, peered into my face in unison. The moment their images overlapped, I felt a sudden sensation as if the “me” who had been somewhere else entirely was being snapped back into reality.

—Yes, I see. Surely, that must be it.

“Pardon me, I have a question. Am I your wife, and am I this child’s mother? Is that correct?”

“Lara has gone mad?! Yes, that’s right! I am your husband, and this boy is our son!”

“Mother, have you turned strange?!”

“A doctor! Someone call a doctor!! Ah! We already called one!”

Shouts and chaos ensued.

The man claiming to be my husband began pacing circles around the bed, without a shred of composure. The boy called my son was sobbing while desperately tugging on the man’s sleeve, and the maid had resorted to screaming “Doctor!” into the hallway.

…Could someone please just stop for a moment?

“This can’t be Lara… Lara doesn’t recognize me…!?”

Muttering to himself, the man sank into a heap on the floor, looking for all the world like the protagonist of a grand tragedy.

“Did you forget? Even about me? Really!?”

The boy who was supposedly my son peered into my face, half-crying, nearly toppling onto the bed in his distress.

I truly didn’t know what they were trying to achieve.

“Everyone… please, calm yourselves.”

Even when I spoke, they all just looked at me at once, and the confusion didn’t stop.

“Her way of speaking is different! Is she confused?!”

“She doesn’t feel like Mother.”

“The doctor! Hurry, get the doctor!!”

—It’s funny; when you see people panicking more than you are, it actually makes you feel quite calm.

Despite being the eye of this frantic storm, I found myself observing the situation with strange detachment.

They said I fell down the stairs… and yes, I felt as though that were true. I was supposed to enter the Academy tomorrow and was feeling quite restless. I have to admit, I was a bit flighty.

But—

I’ve been asleep for three days?

No, judging by this situation, it hasn’t been just three days. Three years, or even more, wouldn’t be surprising…

“The doctor has arrived!”

The maid threw the door open. A physician with graying hair hurried in, pulled up a chair, and sat by my side.

“I hear you are feeling confused. I shall ask you a few questions.”

The doctor was the only one who remained calm, while everyone else stood pale, clutching their hands as if in prayer.

The questions continued rhythmically.

My name, my family home, my relatives, the last day I remembered…

“Please…!”

“Mother, do your best…!”

My husband and son were making a fuss as if they were a family watching over a wounded soldier on a battlefield.

Then, the doctor spoke with absolute finality.

“It is amnesia.”

—The air in the room stood still.

“Me… memory…?”

My husband’s eyes went wide. The doctor continued, his expression growing even more stern.

“Most likely, ten years’ worth of memories up until today have been completely erased.”

At those words, my husband looked like he was about to collapse on the spot.

“No way… ten years… Everything from when we first met until now… all of it?”

He whispered in a trembling voice, cradling his head. Beside him, the boy tilted his head innocently.

“What does that mean? I’m six years old.”

The room hummed with agitation once more.

Ten years.

A ten-year blank.

The memories I possessed were from when I was fifteen or sixteen, just before entering the Academy.

“…So, does that mean I am twenty-six now?”

In contrast to their turmoil, I primly straightened my posture.

“My name is Aira Langford. Is ‘Lara’ a nickname? It doesn’t sound familiar to me at all, so please call me Aira from now on. Now, since we are essentially meeting for the first time, would you all be so kind as to introduce yourselves?”