The System Forced Me to Kiss the Demon Venerable - Chapter 1

[Abnormal spiritual energy fluctuations detected. Reconstructing host’s vital signs.]

The last image Shen Zhuo saw was a flash of white light lunging at him, swallowing him instantly. It was the lightning of the Heavenly Tribulation.

He was a cultivator at the Great Tribulation Stage. Had he survived, he would have ascended to immortality and severed all mortal ties. But based on the current situation, it seemed he had failed to withstand that final strike.

When he regained consciousness, he was violently dragged back to reality by a searing pain in his abdomen. A kick had landed precisely on his stomach with savage force, jolting him awake from his stupor.

Who?

As a rare genius of the cultivation world who had reached the threshold of Ascension in a mere few decades, Shen Zhuo was a figure of immense prestige. No one had dared to show him the slightest disrespect for ages, let alone kick him with such malice.

“Ugh.”

Before the pain could subside or his vision could clear, a second heavy blow struck his waist and abdomen. The kick was as brutal as a sledgehammer, forcing a muffled groan from his throat.

“Hand over Junior Brother Huo’s Ascension Pill!”

A furious roar exploded in his ears, bringing Shen Zhuo to full alertness. He struggled to pry his eyelids open. His nostrils were immediately filled with the scent of stale dust. Scanning his surroundings, he found himself in a dilapidated woodshed.

Shen Zhuo felt as though his entire body had been twisted into a knot. He tried to stand, only to realize his knees were pressed against the ground and his hands were bound tightly behind his back. The hemp rope bit deep into his wrists.

This was wrong. Even if he had failed the Tribulation and his soul had been extinguished, he should not have ended up in a state of being bound and humiliated.

Shen Zhuo looked up, and the figures of two young men entered his field of vision. They wore matching uniforms, which he quickly recognized as the attire of outer disciples of the Xuanyun Sect.

He was more than familiar with these clothes. Years ago, after escaping from hell, it was the Xuanyun Sect that had given him shelter. He had worn that uniform for nearly twenty years until his name became a legend as the only cultivator in a century to attempt Ascension. Only then did those clothes become relics at the bottom of a trunk.

But now.

“Shen Zhuo.” One of the disciples suddenly squatted down, the sole of his boot grinding against the hem of Shen Zhuo’s robe. He grabbed Shen Zhuo by the hair, forcing him to look up. “I suggest you hand over Junior Brother Huo’s things as soon as possible. Otherwise, do not blame us for forgetting our ties as fellow disciples.”

Junior Brother Huo? Since when did I know a Junior Brother Huo?

Shen Zhuo tilted his head to break the man’s grip, his messy hair sticking to his forehead. He frowned and asked, “Who is Junior Brother Huo?”

“What are you playing at?” The man who had roared earlier turned pale with rage. “Shen Zhuo, are you messing with me?”

“Wait.”

The squatting disciple let go, eyeing Shen Zhuo suspiciously. He held back his companion’s impending fist. “He really does seem off. Look at his eyes.”

The other disciple narrowed his eyes at Shen Zhuo. Those eyes lacked their usual cowering fear. Instead, they held a heart-stopping calmness. There was a sense of pressure in that gaze that caused a primitive shiver to crawl from the marrow of his bones, sparking an involuntary trace of awe.

“Useless trash!” Driven by humiliation and rage, the disciple suddenly drew his sword. The tip of the blade lunged toward Shen Zhuo. “You dare look at me like that? It seems you do not know what is good for you!”

The sharp blade swung empty arcs in front of Shen Zhuo’s eyes as the man warned, “I will ask you one more time. Where did you hide Junior Brother Huo’s Ascension Pill?”

“Ascension Pill?” Shen Zhuo repeated.

He had already reached the peak of the Great Tribulation Stage, only one step away from godhood. An Ascension Pill was utterly useless to him. Why would he want such a thing?

However, the outer disciple was adamant that he had stolen it. “Yes! Who else but you would steal it? Everyone knows a single pill is worth a thousand gold. I advise you to hand it over quickly.”

Shen Zhuo remained motionless, facing the blade. He looked calmly at the man’s distorted face and said, “I did not take it.”

The man spat. “You have said those words a thousand times! If it was not you, did the pill grow legs and run away?” A look of smugness flashed in his eyes. “I will count to three. If you keep being stubborn, I will take one of your arms first. Do not blame the blade for being blind then.”

“Three.”

Cold light flickered before his eyes. Shen Zhuo secretly attempted to circulate his cultivation technique. However, the emptiness in his dantian sent a shock through his heart. The surging spiritual energy that belonged to a Great Tribulation cultivator had vanished without a trace. He could not even complete a basic cycle.

“Two.”

He tried again, confirming that this body was no different from a commoner who had never stepped onto the path of cultivation. There was not a single wisp of spiritual energy within him. The reflection of the sword pierced his pupils. Shen Zhuo stared at the blade hanging over his head, his gaze clear and sharp.

“One.”

The blade cut through the air, the sword-qi shearing a few strands of his hair. Just as the edge was about to sever his arm, the world suddenly froze. Floating dust solidified in mid-air. The blade stopped less than an inch from his arm. The smugness on the disciple’s face was perfectly preserved in time.

[Ding]

[Threat to host’s life detected. System activation successful.]

A mechanical voice rang out in his mind. Shen Zhuo found himself pinned in place by the same power, unable to move. “Who is playing tricks here?”

[This system is the manifestation of the Heavenly Dao. Detecting that the host’s original body was destroyed during the Tribulation, the Heavenly Dao has granted a chance for rebirth to assist the host in re-ascending the immortal path.]

“My body was destroyed? But I am clearly here.”

[The host’s original body was turned to ash under the Lightning Tribulation. Only the soul remained. The Heavenly Dao took pity and found this body, belonging to a person with the same name and appearance, to serve as a vessel for your soul’s rebirth.]

“So, this body is not my original Daoist physique?”

[Correct, Host.]

No wonder. His dantian was as empty as a wasteland, and his meridians were clogged like dried-up rivers. This shell was weak to a laughable degree.

“A thousand years of bitter cultivation, through endless trials, and in the end, it was all for nothing?”

[The host need not worry. The system’s duty is to help the host recover his cultivation as quickly as possible. By completing tasks, the host can directly reclaim spiritual power, bypassing the hardships of re-cultivating from scratch.]

“Bypassing the hardships of starting over?”

Shen Zhuo repeated the words, his sea of consciousness falling into a brief, dead silence. He suddenly let out a cold laugh. “What exactly does the Heavenly Dao want? It would not allow me to succeed in my Tribulation, yet now it wants to spare me the hardship? What a lofty, arrogant Heavenly Dao!”

[Intense emotional fluctuations detected. This system is merely the executor of the Heavenly Dao’s will, aimed at providing the host with the optimal solution. The host only needs to know that completing system tasks is the only way to restore strength and rebuild your foundation.]

What a high-sounding explanation. If his body were not restrained, the coldness in Shen Zhuo’s eyes would have frozen the air into frost. Yet, the phrase “re-ascending the immortal path” was like poisoned honey. He could not help but be moved. Compared to starting over, this sudden system felt like a lifeline.

After a long silence, he asked coldly, “Since my body is destroyed, my spiritual power has naturally vanished. Why should I believe your so-called Heavenly Dao can actually help me?”

[To alleviate the host’s doubts, a Newcomer Experience Card is granted. Upon use, it restores peak cultivation for ten seconds.]

A card appeared in Shen Zhuo’s consciousness with the words “Newcomer Experience Card” written boldly upon it.

“Ten seconds? The Heavenly Dao is generous indeed. How do I activate it?”

[The host only needs to think it, and it will take effect.]

Shen Zhuo weighed his options and shifted the topic. “To restore my power permanently, what tasks must I complete?”

[Ding. There are currently no tasks to trigger. When conditions are met, tasks will be issued. Please wait for the opportunity, Host.]

As the notification ended, the power freezing Shen Zhuo’s body abruptly receded.

[Host has successfully bound to the system. Exiting binding mode. The system will enter silent mode. The host may summon it at any time.]

The frozen world instantly rushed back to life. The whistle of the blade cutting the air pierced his eardrums. The murderous intent on the disciple’s face had not faded. Instead, it grew more distorted with the anticipation of success.

Shen Zhuo’s eyes swept sideways, taking in the man’s expression. He understood.

Overestimating yourself.

Did they think they could handle him just because he lacked spiritual power? He did not even need that ten-second card. Certain combat instincts were carved into his very marrow. Why would he need spiritual energy for this?

The moment the blade was about to touch his skin, he used his left foot as a pivot and snapped his tensed waist in the opposite direction. The sword grazed his garment, only managing to tear a long slit in his sleeve.

Shen Zhuo looked down at the torn fabric. A pity. This body was, after all, lacking. In the past, this sword would not have even touched a corner of his robe.

“What?!”

The sneer on the disciple’s face froze, turning into shock. He had clearly seen the blade about to strike, yet this “trash” had avoided it at the last second with an eerie movement. He had moved so fast the disciple could not even see it clearly.

“How is this possible?” he muttered. Wasn’t Shen Zhuo a famous cultivation failure? How could he have such skills?

But deep-rooted prejudice soon took over.

“You got lucky! You actually dodged it!” He shook his head and raised the sword again, pointing it directly at Shen Zhuo’s forehead. “But you actually dared to hide! If I do not give you some color to see, you will not know the height of the heavens!”

The cold, sharp tip was only three inches from Shen Zhuo’s brow. Shen Zhuo slowly looked up, his eyes showing no emotion. It had been a long time since anyone had dared to point such common scrap metal at his vitals. They truly did not know the height of the heavens.

“Heh.”

A soft chuckle escaped Shen Zhuo’s throat. The sound was not loud, but just enough for the disciple to hear.

“Trash! What are you laughing at?!”

The disciple flew into a rage, but when he met Shen Zhuo’s eyes, his heart suddenly skipped a beat, and his spine felt a chill. Out of fear, his hand began to tremble uncontrollably, and he instinctively moved to swing the sword down.

“Eh?”

Just as the blade was about to fall, a clear, lazy, and curious voice rang out from outside the room, causing the disciple’s movements to lock up.

“Did they not say this woodshed had been abandoned for years? Why do I hear noises?”

“Which Senior Brother is inside practicing? If you do not mind, I am coming in!”