The Moon Upon My Heart - Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Lap Pillow

How Could She Possibly Agree?

The night grew deeper, and the clouds in the sky became heavier. By the time the sliver of moonlight filtering into the room vanished completely, the girl who had been tossing and turning in bed finally drifted into sleep.

However, things were quite different for He Wenjun, who slept opposite Shen Wangshu.

Waking with a start in the middle of the night, He Wenjun was so frightened by the dark figure before her that she nearly lost her voice.

She initially thought a thief had climbed in from the balcony. Holding her breath for fear of being discovered—lest the entire dormitory be murdered for their possessions—she eventually realized it was just Ji Fengyue. Instead of sleeping, Ji Fengyue was sitting at the desk, doing heaven-knows-what.

Wenjun had wanted to lose her temper, but then she saw Ji Fengyue reach out toward Shen Wangshu, freezing there silently without moving, before noiselessly returning to her own bed. Wenjun watched, utterly bewildered. She puzzled over it in bed, concluding that Ji Fengyue was most likely sleepwalking.

The elders always said that if you wake a sleepwalker, you’ll see a ghost. Though He Wenjun didn’t believe in ghosts, the thought of Ji Fengyue’s terrifyingly dark expression when angry made her truly afraid to wake her.

But was Ji Fengyue really sleepwalking? Would a sleepwalker sit in a daze at a desk and then stop by someone else’s bed? Wait… why was Ji Fengyue sitting at the desk? Could it be that she even studied in her dreams? That was truly horrifying!

Wenjun thought of so many messy things that she kept rolling over, unable to sleep. She could only stare at the bedboards with her eyes wide open. It wasn’t until the morning wake-up bell rang that she rolled out of bed with eyes as red as a rabbit’s.

By this time, Shen Wangshu had already tidied her bed and was holding her water cup, preparing to wash up on the balcony. Noticing He Wenjun’s poor complexion, she asked in a low voice: “He Wenjun, what’s wrong? Did you not sleep well last night? Your face looks terrible.”

He Wenjun was about to say something when she noticed movement in the upper bunk above Shen Wangshu. Her expression changed, and she pulled Shen Wangshu to the balcony, whispering about what she had seen in the middle of the night.

“Shen Wangshu, do you think Ji Fengyue was actually sleepwalking?”

Shen Wangshu’s heart was filled with complex emotions. She comforted her gently: “I don’t know either. I’ll mention it to her. Don’t worry.”

“Uh, o-okay. But she… cough, never mind, it’s nothing. I haven’t folded my quilt yet, gotta go!”

Watching the terrified He Wenjun scurry back to her bed, Shen Wangshu met Ji Fengyue’s gaze. She smiled helplessly, while the latter remained silent with a heavy expression. In a wordless yet tacit understanding, the two brushed their teeth and washed their faces together before leaving the dormitory.

There weren’t many people on the road at this hour. Ji Fengyue looked straight ahead and asked as if nothing were wrong, “Was she talking about me just now?”

“Do you really study in your dreams?” Shen Wangshu asked a question she already knew the answer to, glancing at her teasingly. “As expected of the great Top Student.”

Ji Fengyue adjusted her glasses awkwardly: “Perhaps. I’ll go to the hospital for a check-up when the holidays come.”

“That works.” Shen Wangshu’s eyes curved into smiles, making Ji Fengyue too guilty to look at her.

“However, there’s still half a month until the holidays. Some problems should be solved earlier.”

Shen Wangshu stopped smiling and turned to look at her seriously: “If your insomnia is this bad, can’t you talk to me about it?”

“If you have troubles, you can tell me. We are roommates; we should help each other. Ji Fengyue, those were your words.”

Ji Fengyue stared blankly at Shen Wangshu. This was her most familiar tone—the tone habitually used by a woman who had the same face as the person before her, but who was much taller and dressed much more maturely.

Furthermore, that woman would only act this way toward her.

Xiaoyue, is it you?

Ji Fengyue wanted so badly to ask this question, but she didn’t dare. She was too afraid the beautiful dream would shatter.

Ultimately, Ji Fengyue turned her head. She didn’t dare meet Shen Wangshu’s gaze and could only answer with a heart full of suppressed bitterness: “It might be an emotional issue. I don’t quite understand it myself right now, but I don’t want to affect you. Let me process it on my own for a while.”

“And if you can’t process it on your own?”

“…” Ji Fengyue pursed her lips tightly and answered slowly: “When that time comes, you mustn’t refuse me.”

Shen Wangshu smiled: “Alright, I’ll welcome it with open arms.”

“Whenever you have something to say to me, you can come to me anytime.”

As expected, she really is a fool.

And the gaze of this “fool” had been fixed on Shen Wangshu since the morning, completely undisguised and overly direct. She even watched her during class.

Finally, during the long break between classes, Shen Wangshu couldn’t take it anymore: “What have you been staring at me for?”

Ji Fengyue was slumped on the desk. Despite the fatigue from lack of sleep on her face, her eyes were sparkling. Confronted by Shen Wangshu, she actually laughed: “Because I think you’re cute. Is that not allowed?”

“Seeing you makes me feel better, and then I can fall asleep.”

Shen Wangshu almost couldn’t maintain her composure. She propped her forehead and said speechlessly: “Is that why you didn’t sleep in the middle of the night and sat by my bed staring at me?”

“Mhm!”

“…” Shen Wangshu really wanted to poke this person’s face and ask what on earth she was thinking—how could she say such idiotic things without fearing being disliked by others.

But she only let out a long sigh, helplessly felt Ji Fengyue’s forehead, and said jokingly: “You don’t have a fever. Why are you talking nonsense?”

To Shen Wangshu’s surprise, Ji Fengyue naturally nuzzled her palm. She reflexively wanted to pull away, but Ji Fengyue caught her hand, and this person actually nuzzled even more happily.

Shen Wangshu’s eyes widened. Ji Fengyue found her so cute that the smile on her face deepened: “Xiaoyue, you’re so cute.”

“Can I call you that?”

“…Whatever you want.” Stared at by those pitiful eyes, Shen Wangshu couldn’t say no. She stopped trying to pull her hand back and let Ji Fengyue hold her hand against her face like a weirdo.

But she was still displeased, turning her head and muttering: “You really look like a pervert right now, desk-mate. Can you pay attention to the social consequences?”

Ji Fengyue burst out laughing: “But you didn’t refuse, either.”

“Since you’re in a bad mood, I’ll lend it to you for today.”

“Then can I push my luck?”

Shen Wangshu turned around in surprise: “What else do you want?”

Ji Fengyue raised her hand like a child: “Teacher Shen, the desk is so hard and cold. It’s very uncomfortable to sleep while slumped over!”

“Then go back to the dorm at noon to sleep and rest today,” Shen Wangshu sighed. “I’ll go with you, alright?”

“Okay! But I’m so sleepy right now, I want to catch up on sleep. Teacher Shen, help me!”

Shen Wangshu really couldn’t hold back. This person’s eyes were fixed on her thighs; what she wanted was obvious at a glance.

“You brat, pushing your luck.” Shen Wangshu made a move as if to pinch her face. Ji Fengyue didn’t dodge; instead, she proactively leaned in with a grin, as if being pinched would make her happy.

Ji Fengyue was proactive, but Shen Wangshu couldn’t bring herself to do it. She sighed again and again, adjusted her sitting position, patted her lap, and signaled her childish friend to come over: “Fine. A special benefit limited to today only.”

“But you aren’t allowed to say any more strange things. Otherwise, you’ll go back to the dorm alone at noon; I won’t go with you.”

Perhaps Ji Fengyue hadn’t expected Shen Wangshu to actually agree. She froze suddenly. This reaction made Shen Wangshu laugh: “You made a joke, got the benefit, but now you can’t believe it yourself?”

“Desk-mate, you’re far too childish.”

Ji Fengyue shook her head without a word and lay down stiffly on Shen Wangshu’s lap.

This was a perspective she had never had before. For some reason, she really wanted to cry, but how could she? So Ji Fengyue could only close her eyes and turn on her side so that Shen Wangshu couldn’t see her expression.

“Xiaoyue, stop laughing, I can feel it…” Ji Fengyue’s voice was muffled; her face was almost buried between Shen Wangshu’s legs. Suddenly, a pair of slightly cool hands were placed on her temples, startling Ji Fengyue so much she almost jumped.

“What, you’re allowed to tease me, but I’m not allowed to laugh at you?” Shen Wangshu gently massaged the muscles there—they were incredibly stiff. She sighed in her heart, but her spoken words carried a clear tone of amusement.

“You can. Laugh however you want.” Ji Fengyue pursed her lips tightly. She knew she was too stiff and tried hard to relax. She succeeded; she truly let go of her strength and lay down peacefully.

“How long has it been since you slept well?”

“…I don’t remember.”

“Really?”

Ji Fengyue didn’t speak. Of course she remembered. Every single day since Shen Wangshu’s accident, she had never slept well. Even if she took many sleeping pills, even if she got dead drunk, she still couldn’t sleep well.

Every day after that, even if her body slept, her soul remained awake. The pain continued in her dreams. She had long since lost the ability to distinguish between reality and dreams.

Feeling a distinct dampness on her legs, Shen Wangshu’s heart felt sour and painful: “You’ve worked hard…”

“Call me ‘Fengyue.’ Xiaoyue, please.”

Shen Wangshu paused, then stroked her head: “Mhm. You’ve worked hard, Fengyue.”

“In the future, will insomnia get better?”

“I don’t know… No, it will definitely get better. It definitely will.” Ji Fengyue thought that even if this place truly was just a dream, it didn’t matter anymore.

To be with her Moon, she would rather die in this dream.

“Alright,” Shen Wangshu sighed softly. “Being with me makes it a bit better, doesn’t it?”

“Mhm. So don’t leave me.” Ji Fengyue closed her eyes. A reassuring darkness enveloped everything. She felt that she must have fallen asleep, or else how could she have said such bold words?

So this really wasn’t a dream—how could a person fall asleep inside a dream?

Shen Wangshu remained silent. She couldn’t give a definitive answer; she no longer had that kind of confidence.

Fortunately, Ji Fengyue had truly fallen asleep. She didn’t demand that Shen Wangshu give an answer, so Shen Wangshu didn’t have to voice a cruel rejection.

Finally, she brushed the stray hairs falling across Ji Fengyue’s face. Her movements were so light, just like the sound of the sigh in her heart.