The Moon Upon My Heart - Chapter 7

Chapter 7: A Tangled Mess

How Could They Possibly Lack Fate?

When the two returned to the dormitory, their roommates He Wenjun and Wu Minyan were eating their meal boxes while scrolling through their phones. Seeing Ji Fengyue enter, their expressions instinctively stiffened and they lowered their heads, not even daring to say hello. They had a look of terror, like mice seeing a cat completely different from how they were when leaving that morning. Shen Wangshu saw this clearly.

She was somewhat concerned, but since she couldn’t find an immediate opportunity to ask, she kept it in mind. After getting the notes, she went back to the classroom with Ji Fengyue for self-study.

Before class started in the afternoon, Shen Wangshu found a chance to speak with He Wenjun in the hallway.

Shen Wangshu asked her point-blank: “He Wenjun, what happened with you and Wu Minyan at noon? You seemed really afraid of us?”

Wenjun looked around, hesitated for a long while, and then answered cautiously: “It’s not… it has nothing to do with you.”

“It’s just… Wu Minyan and I saw Ji Fengyue at the bottom of the stairs this morning. We were going to say hello, but her expression was terrifying. It was like… ugh, how do novels put it? ‘Murderous intent’? Anyway, it was that kind of feeling. I can’t describe it, but it was really scary.”

“Didn’t you and Ji Fengyue leave together this morning? Why weren’t you together then?”

Shen Wangshu froze for a moment, then answered nonchalantly: “Probably because I made her angry. But don’t worry, she’s a good person and cares a lot about my health. It’s just that her way of caring is a bit blunt, and she was a little upset after I rejected her.”

“We reconciled afterward, and she’s in a better mood now. Didn’t she come back to the dorm with a smile at noon? Don’t be afraid of her. We’re all roommates; we’ll be living together for a long time.”

“Once everyone gets to know each other, I don’t think you’ll be afraid of her cold face anymore.”

“I guess so, but it’s still better not to make her angry. It’s really scary.”

Wenjun went back half-convinced, while Shen Wangshu returned to her seat with a very heavy heart. Ji Fengyue was spinning her pen out of boredom, but the moment she saw Shen Wangshu return, her eyes immediately lit up, and her face regained its vitality.

To put it hyperbolically, Shen Wangshu felt her reaction was exactly like a line from a novel: “It was as if the person suddenly came back to life.”

As if she suddenly came back to life… Shen Wangshu repeated this phrase silently in her mind, her heart feeling both sour and soft.

Thinking about everything Ji Fengyue had done for her in their previous life—and how in this life, Ji Fengyue was being treated coldly by her, rejected point-blank, and clearly very angry yet still having to pretend she didn’t care while caring for her again and again—the annoyance Shen Wangshu felt over being “over-monitored” vanished instantly without a trace.

She wasn’t unaware of Ji Fengyue’s almost burning gaze, but Shen Wangshu still kept her head down and her lips pursed, unconsciously drawing meaningless lines on a piece of paper.

Eventually, they blurred into an indistinguishable black ball of thread—a total tangled mess. Even Shen Wangshu herself, who had drawn them, could not find the beginning or the end of the lines.

“Student Xiaoyue, what’s wrong? In a bad mood?”

Shen Wangshu paused and put down her pen. She still didn’t dare look at the person beside her, asking softly with her head down: “Why do you care so much about me? We only met yesterday.”

Ji Fengyue propped up her chin and looked at her, smiling: “Does there have to be a reason?”

“I don’t believe in kindness without a reason. Desk-mate, you’re really strange.”

“True, I don’t believe in it either.” Ji Fengyue thought of something, and her eyes curved into crescents. Shen Wangshu turned her head to see her expression, and her lips pursed even tighter.

“Since a simple effort allows me to make a decent friend in a strange environment, why not?” Ji Fengyue raised an eyebrow and deliberately added, “We’re both boarders. If I get sick next time, I hope you’ll care for me like this too.”

“Although I’m confident in my health, getting sick is inevitable. I don’t want to be all alone in the hospital getting injections and IVs. Student Xiaoyue, will you be willing to accompany me then?”

“…What if I’m not willing?”

“I don’t think you’ll say no. I trust my intuition,” Ji Fengyue smiled again. “A girl as cute as you must be a good kid.”

“Saying ‘one must repay a kindness’ might be a bit of an exaggeration, but you definitely won’t ignore someone who helped you. If we become friends, even without what happened yesterday, you would definitely help me. I feel like you’re just that kind of person.”

Shen Wangshu lowered her head again, gripping the corner of her shirt tightly where Ji Fengyue couldn’t see: “You say it as if you know me very well.”

“Haha, maybe we knew each other in a past life. The moment I saw you, I felt a connection. I really wanted to look after you.” Ji Fengyue raised her hand, wanting to pat the girl’s head, but in the end, she only lightly brushed against her tense face.

“Alright, this is just my own wishful thinking. Don’t feel pressured. I don’t want to be the culprit who makes your stomach hurt.”

“If…” If I don’t want to be friends with you?

Shen Wangshu used all her strength, but she could only squeeze out two words from her throat. Anything more, she simply couldn’t say.

“Hmm?”

The gentle nasal sound was right by her ear. Shen Wangshu pinched her palm hard, desperately using the pain to control the tears in her eyes, finally preventing them from falling.

“…If the person who got sick yesterday wasn’t me, would you still care?”

Ji Fengyue was slightly taken aback. After a moment of thought, she answered seriously: “Saying this might put pressure on you, but I don’t want to lie to you.”

“To be honest, no. Because I have no interest in other people.”

“Then… Why me? I don’t believe in feeling like old friends at first sight, and I don’t believe the world truly has past and present lives. We aren’t Lin Daiyu and Jia Baoyu, we…” We have no fate.

Shen Wangshu was almost choking up. she couldn’t say that last cruel sentence. Whether for Ji Fengyue or for herself, it was too cruel.

Fate… Two people being reborn together back to their youth—how could that possibly be a lack of fate?

She closed her eyes and finally followed the true wish of her heart, abandoning the decision that was too cruel for both of them.

“Never mind. Thank you, Ji Fengyue. Your intuition was right; I am indeed a person who repays kindness.”

“You helped me, and I will definitely pay you back.” Even if it meant she had to completely cut off that hopeless, forever-unspoken love.

Shen Wangshu left her seat, giving the person beside her no chance to continue speaking. Class was about to start; she needed to wash her face to calm down.

Ji Fengyue watched her back. For some reason, she had a vague, ominous premonition.

Did Xiaoyue’s tone just now… change?

A short while later, the bell rang. Shen Wangshu returned just before the teacher entered. Ji Fengyue looked at her and found nothing unusual; instead, she received a smile from the girl who had been so cold. Ji Fengyue blinked and smiled back.

The first period of the afternoon was English. The English teacher, Ms. Chen, walked into the classroom with her textbook and lesson plans, introducing herself on the podium.

Immediately after, just like the head teacher Mr. Liu, she stated her classroom rules point-blank: in her class, Chinese was not allowed, and she would lead by example—during class, she would only speak English.

A wave of murmurs broke out. Ms. Chen just smiled and naturally switched to English. Even though she was mindful of the children’s English level and deliberately used simple sentences with a slow, clear pronunciation, the adolescent faces below still showed obvious bewilderment.

Few people can keep up with a full-English curriculum upon entering high school, but that was exactly Ms. Chen’s goal.

She wasn’t trying to intimidate the freshmen. With her years of teaching experience, she knew that memorizing texts, practicing listening for exams, and explaining countless articles could not improve the children’s English ability. Only through practical application—letting the brain adapt to an English environment—could second-language learning succeed.

Hmm? The English literacy of this year’s freshmen seems quite good; there are actually two girls who can fully keep up with the pace. Ms. Chen looked down at the desk name list posted by the head teacher and matched the names of these two promising students.

Whether they understood or not could be seen just by looking at their expressions; that was something that couldn’t be faked.

“…To help us get to know each other, could anyone share a quick self-introduction in English? You can say your name, something you love, and one interesting fact about yourself. Who’d like to start?”

Ms. Chen scanned the students with a smile. The children all lowered their heads; it seemed no one was willing to raise their hand. Then, Ms. Chen’s gaze met Shen Wangshu’s. The girl seemed a bit nervous, took a deep breath, and proactively raised her hand.

“Ah, we have our first volunteer! Thank you for your courage, please introduce yourself.”

“Thank you, Ms. Chen…” Shen Wangshu picked it up very naturally. Not only did she do a self-introduction, she even went back and forth with Ms. Chen for several exchanges. The classroom was pin-drop silent; everyone was stunned by her fluent speaking ability.

Ms. Chen was exceptionally satisfied with Shen Wangshu’s performance. After she sat down, a round of applause broke out in the classroom, though it was unclear who started it.

Ms. Chen pressed her palms down, wanting to test the other girl’s speaking ability. Unexpectedly, she saw Ji Fengyue staring fixedly at Shen Wangshu’s profile. She froze for a moment and then called on another boy who had proactively raised his hand.

The English class continued, but Ji Fengyue no longer had the slightest intention of listening. She struggled to restrain the excitement in her heart, using all her strength to pull back her gaze, which seemed glued to Shen Wangshu’s face.

This is definitely not the speaking ability a fifteen-year-old Shen Wangshu should have. Is it Xiaoyue? Is she reborn too? Ji Fengyue couldn’t help but think this. But the next second, she thought of Shen Wangshu’s cold attitude over the past two days and the words she had just said.

Ji Fengyue’s heart suddenly went hollow.

The long English class finally ended. Shen Wangshu waited anxiously for the reaction of the person beside her. She didn’t dare look at Ji Fengyue’s expression; she just sat there and waited.

But even when the bell for the next class rang, Ji Fengyue showed no intention of speaking. Shen Wangshu finally couldn’t help but look at her, only to see a cold profile.

It was hard to describe Shen Wangshu’s current mood. It was as if she had suppressed herself too much, worked up the courage to make a choice no one cared about, only for Ji Fengyue’s reaction to be so cold it was completely unexpected.

Shen Wangshu also turned away, her face turning cold, giving her not another ounce of attention.