The Heretical Husband Is Too Good at Acting! - Chapter 3

Chen Mo held Chen Xiaomi in one arm and carried his jacket back to the car, hesitating whether to take her home or to the hospital. Just as he was thinking, Chen Xiaomi’s confused voice came from the back seat: “Huh? Why am I in the car? Are we going home?”

Chen Mo hurriedly turned his head to observe her expression. He held up two fingers for her to see and asked, “Chen Xiaomi, what is this?”

Chen Xiaomi rubbed her sleepy eyes, pushed away the hand that was almost touching her nose, and refused to fall into the trap: “Those are your fingers!”

Chen Mo looked at his own fingers.

She wasn’t wrong; they were indeed fingers.

He started the car, but couldn’t help turning his head again to ask Chen Xiaomi, “How was playing today? Did you have fun?”

“I had fun!” Chen Xiaomi said happily, no longer dwelling on when she had come out. Instead, she asked, “Brother, where are the My Little Pony Friendship Cards we just bought? I want to play.”

Judging that she was truly fine, Chen Mo answered perfunctorily, “Wait until we get home.”

Chen Xiaomi pouted, but in the end, she didn’t say anything.

Because there were many things to carry, Chen Mo parked the car in the yard instead of driving it into the garage.

As soon as they stopped, Chen Xiaomi scrambled out impatiently, saying she wanted to get the cards. Chen Mo had no choice but to follow her to the back of the car and open the trunk.

Peering inside, Chen Xiaomi couldn’t help but exclaim, “Did Brother buy this huge mushroom plushie? It’s so cute!”

Chen Mo froze for a moment.

He had absolutely no memory of this half-person-tall plushie that took up half the trunk. Had he bought this thing?

Before he could figure out what was going on, he saw Chen Xiaomi stretching out her small arms to hug it.

Chen Mo quickly stopped her.

Chen Xiaomi looked at her brother innocently: “What’s wrong?”

Chen Mo: “…”

If he hadn’t seen it wrong, did that mushroom just blink at him?

If he had encountered something like this before today, he might have suspected his eyes were playing tricks on him. But after experiencing the battle with the Slit-Mouthed Monster at the children’s playground, he couldn’t help but be on high alert.

He stuffed the other toys from the trunk into Chen Xiaomi’s arms and said, “This one is too big; you can’t carry it. I’ll take it.”

Chen Xiaomi thought about it and decided that made sense, so she happily began transporting the other items.

Chen Mo picked up the large mushroom and inspected it. The cap was light brown, about half a meter in diameter, with orange spots. The stem was a warm yellow, about as thick as an adult’s arm.

Very cartoonish facial features were embroidered near the top of the stem.

It felt like a normal toy—the outer layer was a fuzzy, soft fabric that felt very comfortable to the touch.

Proof arrived that the blink he saw earlier was indeed no hallucination. After being picked up by Chen Mo, the mushroom’s face, which had originally been facing away from him, turned its head on its own. The black-bean eyes made of embroidery seemed to be looking at him. The position where the mouth was originally just an arc suddenly widened slowly, revealing a row of white teeth and a light pink oral cavity inside.

It went from a line-smile to an open-mouthed grin.

If one didn’t think too much about it, it looked quite cute.

But how could he not think too much about it!

Chen Mo suppressed the urge to throw the thing away. Not only did he not dare to throw it, but he also gripped the stem tightly.

The mushroom’s expression twisted into a human-like frown, seemingly uncomfortable. Chen Mo loosened his grip slightly but still held on firmly to ensure it had no chance to escape.

He glanced at Chen Xiaomi.

Chen Xiaomi hadn’t noticed the abnormality at all. She was standing on her tiptoes, rummaging through the trunk for her toys. Greedy to move everything at once, her small hands kept dropping one thing while grabbing another, keeping her busily occupied.

Chen Mo told her to take a large doll gift box first, saying, “Go get a basket from the house to carry the rest.”

Chen Xiaomi nodded and said, “Okay!”

As Chen Xiaomi skipped away carrying the things, Chen Mo didn’t dare leave her alone. Clutching the large mushroom, he followed behind her, pulled out his phone, and called Zhang Tao.

The call was answered quickly.

“It’s Chen Mo.”

Zhang Tao said enthusiastically, “I know, I’ve already saved your contact. What is it, Classmate Chen? Have you changed your mind so soon and decided to join us?”

Chen Mo looked at the plushie in his hand and got straight to the point: “A large mushroom plushie suddenly appeared in my car’s trunk. It seems to be alive. Is this thing under your jurisdiction?”

They were the Anomaly Management Bureau; this strange thing in his hand should be an Anomaly, right?

To his surprise, Zhang Tao didn’t seem shocked at all. He let out a sound of realization: “So it went to your place. I was wondering why I didn’t see it today. That’s Xiao Wen. It’s okay, it’s very friendly.”

Friendly? It certainly didn’t seem to have any ill intent.

But what did it mean by showing up at his house?

Chen Mo asked, “Can you send someone over to pick it up?”

Zhang Tao hesitated before saying, “Right now? I’m a bit busy at the moment. How about this: let it stay with you for now. It’s very well-behaved and won’t bother you. I’ll come pick it up tomorrow, okay?”

Chen Mo: “If you’re busy, you can have another colleague come over.”

Zhang Tao replied, “That won’t work. Xiao Wen only listens to me; others can’t handle it. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you.”

Chen Mo compromised slightly: “Bring it away by tonight at the latest.”

Zhang Tao agreed: “I’ll try my best, okay? But I’m on a mission right now and don’t know when it will end. If I don’t make it tonight, could you help me by giving it some water? You don’t need to do anything else.”

Watering a plushie? Chen Mo was bewildered.

Just as he was about to say more, Zhang Tao seemed to encounter a situation on his end. After a few quick words with someone nearby, he said to Chen Mo, “Let’s leave it at that for now. I’m hanging up. Talk to you later.”

“Beep—beep—beep—”

Chen Mo looked at the hung-up phone, then at the mushroom in his hand, and sighed helplessly.

He tentatively called out: “Xiao Wen?”

Eerily, the mushroom’s already smiling mouth stretched even wider, clearly responding to him.

Chen Mo shuddered. He suddenly stuffed it into the sofa and pulled out a fleece blanket, covering it tightly.

In the evening, Chen Siyuan and Song Anfeng returned home after their New Year visits.

Chen Mo went to the kitchen to get some water. Passing through the living room, he saw his mother leaning against the large mushroom without any suspicion, holding the remote to flip through TV channels.

The large mushroom was pressed flat by her weight, its face turned downward, hiding its expression.

Chen Mo suddenly stepped forward and pulled his mother up from the sofa.

Song Anfeng looked at him in confusion: “What’s wrong? Why are you so jumpy?”

Chen Mo reached out to rescue the large mushroom from behind her, making up a random excuse: “Uh, this plushie was something a friend asked me to buy. I have to give it to them later, so don’t break it.”

Song Anfeng began to nag: “If you bought it for a friend, store it properly instead of leaving it lying around.”

Remembering something, she instructed, “Wake up early tomorrow. That boy I mentioned introducing to you—we’ve made an appointment to meet for a meal.”

Chen Mo was frantic inside but acted innocent on the surface: “Tomorrow? Why didn’t you say so earlier? I already have plans with a friend.”

Song Anfeng glared at him: “Lying to me again.”

Chen Mo raised his hands in surrender, pleading sincerely: “I’m not lying, it’s true.”

He pointed to the large mushroom in his hand and said, “See? It’s the owner of this. We’ve made an appointment.”

Song Anfeng looked at her son, then at the mushroom in his hand. Her eyes darted around as she asked suggestively, “What kind of friend? Male or female?”

Chen Mo couldn’t hold it back and yelled, “Don’t get the wrong idea! We are OR-DI-NA-RY FRIENDS!”

After saying that, he squeezed the large mushroom and hurried upstairs to his room.

Chen Mo casually tossed the mushroom onto the bed, but then thought of something and immediately picked it up again, placing it on the small sofa by the window.

Then he called Zhang Tao again.

This time, the phone rang for a long time before Zhang Tao answered. Without waiting for Chen Mo to speak, Zhang Tao apologized first: “Sorry buddy, today’s mission isn’t finished yet. I’ll come to pick it up tomorrow morning at the latest, is that okay?”

If it wasn’t okay, could he really drag the guy over?

Chen Mo hung up the phone in frustration and stared eye-to-eye with the big-headed mushroom two meters away.

“Can you promise to be good tonight?” he asked.

The mushroom blinked.

Chen Mo said threateningly, “To be honest, I just beat a Slit-Mouthed Monster to death at noon today. I’m very fierce! You better behave yourself.”

The mushroom blinked again.

The soft, cute expression made Chen Mo feel like he was bullying a child.

He sighed, stood up, picked up the mushroom, took it into the bathroom, and tossed it into the shower stall.

“I’m going to water you now. How much do you need?”

The mushroom presumably couldn’t speak; it just blinked at him.

Chen Mo adjusted the temperature, turned on the showerhead, and sprayed the mushroom for half a second. “Is that enough?”

The mushroom suddenly hopped. Small slits appeared on the sides and bottom of the stem. The slits became more defined until, out of thin air, a pair of arms and legs grew out.

Well then, the big-headed mushroom had turned into a big-headed mushroom person.

Chen Mo’s scalp felt tingly. He forced himself not to show any reaction and reached out to pick it up and take it back out, but the mushroom person used its short little fingers to point at the showerhead.

“What, you want more water?”

The mushroom person blinked and nodded.

“Fine.”

So Chen Mo turned the water back on and sprayed the top of the mushroom for a full ten minutes. Only then did the mushroom person hop again and give him a gesture.

Chen Mo turned off the water.

During this time, he had been observing the mushroom.

The watered mushroom gradually became moist, looking less like a plushie and more like a real mushroom.

The cap became very smooth and succulent, emitting a scent of the forest and nature.

The stem and the newly grown limbs were not as smooth, but they were saturated with water, looking wet and—honestly—quite delicious.

Chen Mo reasonably suspected that this was the creature’s true form, and the plushie appearance during the day was just a disguise.

And that was indeed the case.

The fully hydrated mushroom person looked up at him. The eyes that had looked like embroidered patches now appeared very real, blinking softly and looking even cuter.

No matter how cute it was, it was still an Anomaly.

Chen Mo looked down and told it, “You stay in the bathroom tonight. You’re not allowed out.”

He didn’t want to be woken up by a fright while sleeping.

Though, the thing didn’t seem that scary.

The mushroom person nodded, its large eyes filled with grievance.

Chen Mo forced himself to ignore the grievance and turned to leave the bathroom.

He went downstairs to use the guest bathroom to wash up before returning to his room to sleep.

Before turning off the lights, Chen Mo felt uneasy and took another look in the bathroom.

The mushroom was actually quite well-behaved, hugging its legs and sitting quietly in the corner.

Finding Chen Mo opening the door, its large eyes looked over.

Chen Mo’s heart softened at the sight. He relented: “Come out, then.”

The mushroom blinked happily.

Ten minutes later, Chen Mo regretted it a little.

Although the mushroom sat quietly in the corner of the bedroom without making a sound, it was staring at him intently without blinking.

Chen Mo felt creeped out by the staring. He spoke to it: “Can you… turn around?”

The mushroom looked confused.

Chen Mo spoke more specifically: “Turn your face away. Face the wall.”

Mushroom: ?

Mushroom: (Grieved).

Chen Mo: “…”

“Forget it, forget it. Just sit there like that.”

Chen Mo thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but after rolling over, he immediately fell into a deep, heavy slumber.