The Gloomy Paper-Man Came to My Door to Pursue His Love - Chapter 5

Qin Fei knew he should not have brought up his late husband at a time like this. He decided the real culprits were those two glasses of red wine. Still, now that he had shared the sentiment, it was not such a significant issue.

Qin Fei forced a smile. “Since the misunderstanding is cleared up, shall we introduce ourselves again?”

He looked up to see the 2D character’s face turning various shades of pale and flushed. The man looked as though he wanted to explode but was desperately holding back. Finally, grinding his teeth, he said with a look of pure annoyance, “Whatever.”

Qin Fei said, “My name is Qin Fei. I come from Planet Love. It is a great honor to learn Avis etiquette from you.”

After speaking, he stared at Xi Li. “And you, Teacher?”

Xi Li’s mind was already flooded with data and instructions from the program. Now, a new set of main plot data was transmitted: According to Avis rules, you cannot meet the prospective brides in advance, so you must not reveal your identity as the Viscount. To avoid causing Qin Fei any suspicion, you cannot tell Qin Fei that you grew up on Avis Island and have never left. You must invent a home planet. Because of this deception, guilt rises within you, and you dare not look Qin Fei in the eye.

The action commands were: Answer Qin Fei’s question, Avert your gaze guiltily, Notice the sun is setting and worry that Qin Fei will catch a cold, and Steal a glance to see if Qin Fei is cold.

Xi Li: “.”

Xi Li bit his lip so hard his teeth nearly shattered before he spoke with deep humiliation. “Xi Li. From the Imperial Star.”

The moment he finished, he jerked his head away, vowing that once he escaped this place, he would tear this game to shreds. A buzzing sound rang in his head because he had not yet completed all the commands sent by the game program.

Xi Li glared at the sky, finding the colors of the sunset piercingly bright. He looked back again to check if Qin Fei was cold. This glance happened to meet Qin Fei’s beaming smile. Qin Fei reached out, palm upward, revealing a small shell the size of a fingernail. The sand and grit had been rubbed away by the soft flesh of Qin Fei’s palm.

“Thank you, Teacher, for saving my life. Let this shell be a witness; I will never forget the day I met you. I hope you can remember me too.”

After all, Qin Fei had fallen into the sea because he was trying to save him. A life-saving debt should surely count as a profound positive impression.

Xi Li’s brain was practically smoking. The game program issued rapid-fire commands: Remember Qin Fei, Remember Qin Fei, Remember Qin Fei, Remember Qin Fei, and Remember Qin Fei.

Xi Li: “…”

He took a deep breath and gave a muffled, reluctant, and utterly forced grunt of affirmation.

The second he responded, the surrounding scenery froze. Like melting ink, the colors of the landscape began to bleed and blend together until the game screen condensed into a single, vibrant block of color.

After a moment, the color dissolved again. However, it was no longer the sunny Avis Island, but a room bathed in warm tones. Pleasant background music played through the audio. Qin Fei looked up and found the source of the music: a record player sitting on an ivory-white cabinet by the window. The vinyl record spun slowly, humming a light tune. Next to the record player sat a terminal designed to look like a brick.

Qin Fei asked, “Am I home?”

The terminal replied, “Yes. You have finished the prologue tasks and returned home.”

Qin Fei scanned the screen again. “Where is my 2D character?”

The terminal said, “You only finished the prologue. Given your current intimacy level with him, he will not come to your home yet.”

Qin Fei asked curiously, “Then where is he?”

The terminal replied, “There is a game map in the lower right corner. You can try opening it.”

Following the terminal’s instructions, Qin Fei opened the Map. Two cursors floated on it. One represented Qin Fei’s location at the center of the map, labeled Planet Love. The other cursor was tucked away in a remote corner.

“So far away,” Qin Fei remarked.

He zoomed in several times before he could see the location marked under the other cursor: Avis Island.

The terminal explained, “You can contact your 2D character through the terminal. However, due to hardware limitations, you cannot use the physical terminal next to the record player in an immersive way.”

“So?”

The terminal said, “You can find the Terminal icon to contact him. Under the poor conditions of running the game on a standard terminal, you can only perform operations by clicking icons.”

Qin Fei was still thinking about renaming the character. The terminal introduced a feature: “In the upper right corner, there is a Business Card Display for your character. You can rename him there.”

Qin Fei clicked the display, and the character’s image floated into the center of the screen. The display was more like a dynamic photo; the character’s animation involved him reaching out an inviting hand toward the screen. Despite Qin Fei poking the screen, there was no other reaction; the character simply repeated the gesture at intervals.

The card contained detailed information, some of which could be changed using premium currency. It also showed their current intimacy level. Qin Fei glanced at it: 0%.

The card could also be shared, with the option to hide certain information. After hiding some data, Qin Fei shared the character on his StarBlog.

StarBlog was the largest social media platform in the galaxy, and Qin Fei had 700,000 followers. Using his verified “Fiancé of the Little Prince” account, he captioned the post: My 2D person.

He posted it and ignored it, switching back to the game to buy a Renaming Card. But when it came time to type the new name, Qin Fei got stuck. He really did not know what kind of name to give the character.

The terminal suggested, “You can think about it for a while. In the meantime, you can collect your cards from the storyline.”

“Cards?”

The terminal replied, “After each plot node ends, you receive related cards.”

Guided by the terminal, Qin Fei opened the Main Story and saw Prologue: Encounter glowing. He clicked it, and a card flipped into view, occupying nearly the entire screen. The content on the card began to play automatically.

It was the familiar sound of waves. On a golden beach, his 2D character picked up a seashell. He brushed away the sand, but he seemed to use too much force; the shell shattered under his fingertips. He glared at the crushed remains in his palm with gnashing teeth, but slowly forced a grin that could only be described as hideous. Through gritted teeth, he squeezed out, “I bow my head in thanks to all the planets for letting me meet you.”

White floating text appeared on the screen: Accept the Encounter Card.

The terminal: “…”

The terminal added, “You can set this card animation as your login screen. However, your character’s personality seems to have some issues.”

Qin Fei accepted the card. “What is the problem?”

The terminal replied, “He does not seem to have anything to do with being gentle.”

In the Business Card Display, the character’s personality was listed as “Gentle,” but the character currently being shown was anything but.

Qin Fei set the card as his login animation. He actually liked it. “It is fine.”

The terminal fell silent. It knew Qin Fei well; he rarely owned things of his own, so he had a high tolerance for his possessions. For example, even though the terminal itself was an obsolete model, Qin Fei had never replaced it.

Qin Fei watched the animation again. He looked at the golden sand and the crushed shell in the character’s hand. A flash of inspiration hit him. “I know what name to give him!”

Qin Fei opened the display and typed in the new name. Upon seeing the name, the terminal fell into a long silence.

On the other side of the game data, the program had generated a residence for Xi Li outside the main plot. Xi Li sat broadly on a sofa. The lights were off, but even the dimness could not hide his livid complexion.

Xi Li was not the type to adapt to circumstances. He relied on absolute strength to get what he wanted and never felt the need to hide his emotions. Usually, he would have exploded immediately. But now, he was holding his breath.

He admitted his temper was foul, but he also despised those who engaged in useless rage. He had his pride; he did not want to become the kind of person he looked down upon. Besides, throwing a tantrum here was useless. He had to find a way to leave. Only by leaving could he kill them all.

Xi Li took a deep breath, pushing the anger down into his chest. He was now a string of conscious data, and the game itself was data. Therefore, there must be a way out. He needed to calm down and think.

As his anger subsided slightly and his expression softened, a buzzing sound rang in his head. Xi Li was almost used to it by now. He checked the data sent by the program with a relatively stable mood.

[Qin Fei] has renamed you.

Xi Li’s expression fractured. He exhaled sharply, barely keeping his temper in check.

[Qin Fei] has renamed you as Sha Bei.

(Note: “Sha Bei” is a homophone for a vulgar insult in Chinese, though it literally means “Sand Shell” in the context of the card.)

Xi Li: “…”

He stood up abruptly and slammed a fist into the sofa, sending it flipping backward. He then began smashing everything he saw, the breakable and the unbreakable alike. His destructive power was immense, and within moments, the entire room was unrecognizable.

Buzz!

That sound again! Even though Xi Li did not actively check it, the transmitted data unfolded before him automatically.

[Qin Fei] has sent you a message.

Qin Fei: I have changed your name. I really like this meaningful new name, and I hope you like it too.

The game issued a command: Reply to Qin Fei, express your liking, and gently ask about the specific meaning of the new name.

Xi Li was fuming. He had been a favored child of heaven since birth. His pheromones could suppress anyone, he was invincible on the battlefield, and countless people had been crushed under his feet. He had never been so humiliated in his life! He could not die, and he was being forced to act like a charming toy!

“Qin Fei!” Xi Li ground the name between his teeth as he sent back a reply.

Sha Bei: Whether you truly do not know or are just pretending, you had better not let me get out of here.

The program immediately issued an Out of Character warning. Xi Li endured the intense pain. Having fallen to this state with no weapons, he could only resort to blustering threats to salvage his remaining pride.

Sha Bei: Otherwise, I will tear you apart.

Qin Fei’s reply came back almost instantly.

Qin Fei: Are you referring to my clothes?

Xi Li: “…………………………………………”