The Gloomy Bottom Everyone Despised Has Been Reborn - Chapter 3

My eldest brother stayed home longer this time. Since he was on break, invitations from the prominent families of Suzhou flew in like snowflakes.

Mother was often invited as well, but she never took me. she only coaxed me to be good at home, then turned around and took Lin Chongtan and the twins to the banquets instead.

“Nonsense, how can you not take Chun Di?” Father was busy with many affairs, so my eldest brother took on the role of “eldest brother acting as a father.” His words made Mother’s face turn slightly red. She only defended herself in a low voice, “Chun Di just returned home and hasn’t fully recovered his health. It won’t be too late to go later.”

Eldest brother’s face darkened. “Mother, Chun Di is thirteen now; it’s time he went out to meet people. The children of our Lin family should see the world, understand social graces, and be sensible.”

Because of my brother’s words, I was allowed to attend a banquet for the first time. Two days before leaving, someone in the house trained me in etiquette. On the afternoon of the day before, Mother came to watch.

Because Mother was present, I was extra nervous. I wanted to perform well, but the more I thought that way, the more mistakes I made.

When I accidentally set down a teacup too hard, making a loud noise, I saw clear disappointment in Mother’s eyes. However, she forced a smile and said to me, “No rush, Chun Di. You are still young; we will learn slowly.”

I wasn’t young. I was the same age as Lin Chongtan, so why was he excellent at everything he did?

The invitation was from the Wang family. The Wangs were a scholarly family with many children. Liangji whispered in my ear from time to time, telling me who this person was or who that person was.

I didn’t dare to relax. I kept my body tense while identifying people and smiling. By the end of the day, I was exhausted. Toward evening, thinking there was still a while before dinner, I slipped into a small grove by the lake to massage my aching legs.

After a moment, I heard voices nearby. It turned out a group of young noblemen were composing poetry and painting in a pavilion by the lake, and Lin Chongtan was among them.

Today, Lin Chongtan wore a pine-green robe. This color is very difficult to pull off, but on him, it wasn’t strange at all—it was exceptionally eye-catching.

Seeing Lin Chongtan there, I wanted to leave. But just then, I heard them discussing me.

“Tansheng, who is that ‘Black Young Master’ your family brought today? Is he your brother? We’ve never heard of your family having another brother.”

“Black Young Master? Haha.” Someone immediately laughed. “That title sounds terrible. How about calling him ‘Black Kitten’? I have a black cat at home; that little fellow looks a bit like him—both have round eyes and pitch-black skin.”

“You guys are too mean; Tansheng is still right here. Tansheng, who is he? We heard him calling your eldest brother ‘Big Brother’.”

Lin Chongtan set down his painting brush. “There’s no need for you to guess. He is a child of the Lin family. He will attend these banquets often in the future; when you see him, just call him Brother Chun.” He paused. “And you are not allowed to say ‘Black Young Master’ or ‘Black Kitten’.”

“Fine, fine, we won’t. But is he really a child of your Lin family? He doesn’t look like any of you brothers at all.”

“Of course not. How can Tansheng’s beauty be compared to that Black… that Brother Chun? He’s probably just a distant relative coming to sponge off the family. It’s a good thing your Lin family is kind enough to bring him to a banquet. If it were me, I’d just give him some loose change and send him away.”

Send me away with loose change?

I am the legitimate young master of the Lin family. What right do they have to send me away?

Lin Chongtan is the son of that gambler, Fan Wu. Fan Wu is dead and my foster mother passed away from illness, yet he doesn’t go back to mourn them. He clings to my identity as the second young master, and now others say I’m the one sponging off the family.

In an instant, anger rushed to my head. I didn’t listen to their following words; I only wanted to tear off Lin Chongtan’s hypocritical mask in front of everyone.

He is the fake; I am the real one.

I rushed out. Seeing me, everyone looked a bit awkward; they hadn’t expected the person they were badmouthing to hear them.

“Oh, this…”

“Brother Chun, we were just talking nonsense. We drank too much; we apologize to you.”

Lin Chongtan looked surprised to see me, then walked toward me. “Xiao Di, why did you come here? Didn’t Liangji stay with you?”

As soon as he finished speaking, I pushed him hard.

I used all my strength, cursing as I pushed, “Who wants you to pretend to be a good person? You shameless son of a gambler, you aren’t a son of the Lin family at all!”

“Chun Di!”

An angry shout came from behind me. Terrified, I turned around quickly. At the same time, I heard a “splash” by my ear.

The voices of the crowd suddenly erupted.

“Tansheng! Someone, help! Tansheng fell into the water!”

“Quickly, come help! Save him! Tansheng doesn’t know how to swim!”

Eldest brother walked over, suppressed anger in his eyes. He grabbed me and shoved me toward his servant. “Take him back. He doesn’t need to attend dinner.”

Then, eldest brother jumped into the water himself to save Lin Chongtan.

My first banquet ended just like that. When Father learned I had caused such a shameful scene, he made me kneel in the ancestral hall as punishment. Mother came to see me; although she brought me food and comforted me, her words were like knives cutting into my heart.

“You grew up in that kind of place, so naturally you are not as good as your other brothers. Your father and eldest brother are just too strict with you. Chun Di, listen to Mother from now on and stay quietly in the estate. Don’t go anywhere. When you are older, Mother will find a marriage for you. No need for a girl from a high-status family; just choose someone pleasant and sensible who you can talk to.”

Even women were allowed to go out and play. Was Mother trying to put me under house arrest?

The next day, Mother made me go apologize to Lin Chongtan. This time, I heard eldest brother’s voice.

Eldest brother told Lin Chongtan that my heart was wicked.

I didn’t go in to apologize. I turned around and went straight back to Shanming Pavilion. After kneeling in the hall for two days, my knees were horribly swollen. As Liangji applied medicine to my legs, I couldn’t stop sobbing.

In my foster mother’s house, I actually didn’t like to cry. I didn’t know why, but in the few months since coming to the Lin family, I had cried three times.

Was it because of the pain in my legs?

Or something else?

Liangji looked up at me. “Young Master Chun, are you hungry? I’ll go to the kitchen and get you something to eat.”

“No need.” I pulled my leg back and lay on the couch. I asked Liangji to open the window, and mist-like rain drifted in. Actually, I shouldn’t be this sad. My current life is clearly much better than before. Before, I had to work in the fields, and the food I ate rarely had meat. Whenever Fan Wu was unhappy, he would punch and kick me. At the Lin family, I have no worries about food or clothing. No matter how angry Father gets, he won’t hit me; he only makes me kneel in the ancestral hall. Why am I so miserable?

But no matter how I tried to reason with myself, my feelings for Lin Chongtan turned from dislike to hatred. I even selfishly thought that it would be great if Lin Chongtan would just disappear.

After this incident, I no longer went out to banquets, even when eldest brother tried to take me later.

“Not going? Why aren’t you going? Your sisters are all attending the Chrysanthemum Viewing Banquet. As a man, why do you huddle in the courtyard every day?”

Eldest brother looked at me with a frown.

I lowered my head when I met his gaze. “I haven’t finished reading my books yet. The teacher will scold me.”

“It won’t be too late to read when you get back,” eldest brother added.

I didn’t speak anymore. Eldest brother waited for a moment and realized I was determined not to go out. Combined with the twins’ urging from outside, he dropped two words and turned to leave.

“Fine.”

I looked up at the back of my brother as he left, then clenched my hands and returned to the study to continue reading. Since realizing the difference between myself and Lin Chongtan, I worked very hard on my studies, learning until late every night. But perhaps I really am quite stupid; I always forgot the things I learned. My teacher went from scolding me for not working hard to eventually just shaking his head and sighing.

The teacher knew I put in the effort.

When he was in a good mood, he would comfort me by saying that everyone has their own destiny, and not everyone is suited for deep academic study.

“In any case, you are a young master of the Lin family. The family can certainly afford to support you.”

His words were extremely similar to Mother’s—seemingly comforting, but actually saying I was so hopelessly dull that I was beyond saving.

In the blink of an eye, three years passed at the Lin family. During these three years, a major event occurred. My eldest brother dropped out of Hanshan Academy and turned to business. Since then, Father placed almost all his hopes on Lin Chongtan. He hoped that Lin Chongtan could one day pass the imperial exams and become the glorious top scholar.

Therefore, Father decided to send Lin Chongtan to study at the Imperial Academy. In fact, Lin Chongtan had long been qualified to study there. His teacher, Master Daoqing, was once the most respected teacher at the Academy and held the position of Grand Tutor. He had recommended Lin Chongtan to the Academy, but at that time, Lin Chongtan was still young, and Father wanted to keep him for two more years.

When the family learned that Lin Chongtan was going far away to the capital to study, even my married eldest cousin rushed back. She looked at him with teary eyes, deeply worried about this younger cousin of hers.

Mother was even more dramatic, pulling Lin Chongtan into her arms, calling him her “heart” and “treasure,” crying sorrowfully. The twins also held onto his arms tightly. “Second Brother, we don’t want you to leave.”

The calmest person in the hall was Father. He waited for everyone to finish their crying before letting out a heavy cough. “It’s just going to the capital to study, yet you all act as if it’s a life-and-death parting. Ridiculous. I’m not comfortable with Tansheng going to the capital alone, so Chun Di will accompany him this time.”

These words exploded like a thunderclap in the Lin family hall.

Even eldest brother was very surprised. “Chun Di is going too? Chun Di, he…”

Father spoke with absolute authority: “Chun Di is sixteen now. It is time for him to go out and see things. He is not a girl confined to her room; he ultimately must bear a portion of the Lin family’s responsibilities.”

I was also very surprised by Father’s words. I hadn’t expected Father to have such expectations for me. So, when Father called me to his study, I couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Father.” I actually really wanted to be close to him, but Father was busy. Every time he returned home, it was already late at night, and I didn’t want to disturb him.

Father looked at me with a heavy gaze and did not smile. I knew he was always serious, so I didn’t blame him. I just stood obediently in front of him until he spoke.

“The reason I am sending you to the Imperial Academy this time is because I truly do not wish to see me, Lin Kunjie, have such a useless son. I know your early years were wasted, but three years have passed now. Your teacher told me that you haven’t made any progress in your studies at all. You only know a few words now; you can’t even compose a poem. As for the other ‘Five Arts,’ you are completely ignorant.

It took a lot of effort on my part to send you to the Imperial Academy this time. If you cannot achieve some results, do not bother coming back.”

I hadn’t expected Father to say something like this to me. I froze in place, feeling a chill throughout my body. Father seemed not to want to say more and told me to leave. Normally, I would have left obediently, but today I couldn’t help but ask him.

“Does Father wish even more that Second Brother was your child? Do you feel that it would be better if you didn’t have this waste of a son?”

I had wanted to ask this for a long time. In the three years at the Lin family, my name was never added to the family registry. Aside from the members of the Lin family who knew I was the legitimate young master, outsiders thought Lin Chongtan was Father’s son, and I was just an orphan from a distant relative’s family staying under the Lin family’s protection.

Before I could finish my sentence, a slap landed on my face.

Father hit me for the first time.

He seemed truly angry. “Insolent boy, get out!”

Those were the last words Father ever said to me. The next day, I set out on the road to the capital. From then on, only my ashes and burial clothes returned to my homeland.

I, Lin Chun Di, was born in the fifth year of the Tianli era and died in the twenty-third year of the Tianli era, at the age of eighteen.